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How to go to hell
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from the sick
mind of
-=r?x=-
One of my favorites, which has actually been done, is to be carried
out right before Halloween. Go into a convenience store and buy some
huge sacks of candy, or better yet, some apples and caramel. Go up to
the cash register, make sure you have a slightly insane grin on your face,
and calmly ask where they keep the razor blades (look down at the candy).
You should usually get some pretty weird looks, and sometimes, they will
even call the police.
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Place an ad in the newspaper, looking for a supply of chickens.
Somehow imply that they will be sacrificed to your satanic gods, or what-
ever you sick people reading this worship. Here's an example of what it
might sound like, "Pure-bred chickens wanted for religious purposes and
rituals." There you go, short, sweet, and may even end up on Jay Leno's
Headlines! Don't use your real number for this one.
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A cruel one, is to hand some fake fur, or wrapped clothing from a
window, or even your front tree. Arrange it so it might resemble a
small animal. Fake blood makes it all the more realistic. Don't be
surprised if the Animal Protection Agencies show up at you door. Tell
them that whatever it you hung was hanging up to dry.
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Buy some I.B.C. Rootbeer, (bottles only), at the supermarket. Drive
to a bar, which is open, rather late at night on a weekend. Open up a
root beer bottle and hang it out the window. Then drive off. Make sure
you aren't really drunk at the time. If no cops find you, drive to a few
other bars too. (Yelling obnoxiously helps too) If a cop, does see you,
He\she (P.C) will report a D.U.I. and pull you over. When they come up
to the car, show them the rootbeer and your license. There is nothing
they can do! Something that is also fun is to lurch forward a few feet
as they approach. Thinking you are attempting to escape, they will dash
back to their car. (Tell them you accidentally stepped on the pedal)
-----------------------------
Do you know how many ways there are to fuck with the people at a
fast-food counter? One of my favorites, and one of the most entertaining,
only works at a Burger King or Wendy's. Go up to the counter and order a
Big Mac. They will undoubtedly say, "how about a XXXX" - whatever their
specialty burger is. You say, "No thanks, I'll just have some Chicken
McNuggets. Getting more annoyed, they might reply, "You mean, Chicken
Tenders" -or whatever. Refuse, and then maybe make up some combos they
don't have. If they haven't called the manager yet, just say "look, forget
it, I'll just have a Coke" -or Pepsi, whichever they don't have. Finally,
just leave, get in your car and go through the Drive Thru and do it all
again. -Speaking of, you can place a bag of sand, or another heavy object
over the little rubber tube that you drive over. When the tube is momen-
tarily pinched off, this tells them that there is someone waiting to order
by making a beeping sound in the restaurant. If it is continuously closed,
the beeping will continue until someone figures out what the hell is going
on.
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This one is pretty sick. I myself have never done it, but it is
sure to send you to hell. Buy a few packs of children's underwear and
go stand out on a street corner somewhere. Try to sell them, targeting
women with children and old couples. Another short one is to make a
recording of a woman screaming and maybe some male insane laughing.
Put a cheap recorder down a downtown sewer drain and stand back and watch.
-----------------------------
Airport terminals are also fun to screw around with, if you have the
balls to do it. Wear a coat with many pockets. Fill them and any other
articles of clothing you are wearing with metal objects. Now walk through
the metal detector. They get so pissed off after about the fifth time you
have to walk through. Sit down in a waiting area with a friend near other
people. Talk loudly about a package you sent on the next flight, hopefully
theirs, IMPLYING it might be a bomb. here's and example: You-"I verified
that (some middle-eastern name) is on the flight." Friend-"Excellent,
did the `package' get on safely?" You-"Yes, there were no problems at
baggage check." Friend-"Then the plan will proceed as planned, in a few
hours, we will be very rich men." Then laugh insanely and leave. Now
get on the plane. Wait until just after the fasten safety belts sign has
gone off, and stand up and face the rest of the cabin. Yell, "all right,
nobody move!..............does anyone have and extra pillow?" Hold a carry-
on bag or extend out your arm in your coat for effect.
-----------------------------
How about fucking with the Postal Service? Actually, maybe the postal
workers are disgruntled enough, ... Nah! Put a dead animal in that over-
sized package receptacle they have. That should piss some people off.
Buy an extremely strong magnet, and put it in a small box, or better yet,
in that tough brown wrapping paper. Address it to somewhere on the
opposite side of the country, (Correct postage, of course), and stick it
in a mail receptacle somewhere. This thing will be a pain in the ass
to deliver. It will screw up electronic counters and scales, and stick
to any metal in sight. If your mailing address was to a friend somewhere,
ask for a settlement on it if he doesn't ever get it.
-----------------------------
This one, hehe, is a straight, one-way ticket to Hell. Go up to one
of those damn annoying, bell ringing, Salvation Army people who stand
in front of stores. Drop in a dollar, while saying "Merry Christmas." or
some bullshit like that to get their attention. Walk away, looking in
your wallet, and then turn around and run back. Say that you accidentally
put in a 5 (or 10) dollar bill. Now, you can either just watch them
unlock and open up the whole thing, or, if some generous soul did put in
the bill you were looking for, take it, and give the person a dollar.
You can make quite a profit on this, if you do it all around town.
If you thought THAT was the surest way to sell your soul to Satan, wrong
again, this also works on church collection baskets. Hehehe!
I TAKE NO REPONSIBILITY WHAT SO EVER FOR ANY CRIMINAL ACTIONS COMITTED
UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THIS DOCUMENT. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOUSES
ONLY! ALSO, IT IS AGAINST THE INFORMATION CODE TO IN ANY WAY MODIFY OR
ALTER THIS FILE. Ok, now i can rest easy...
See Ya in Hell,
-=r?x=-
Threshold BBS.
Full of awesome files like this,
and great door games. Give us a call.
(918) 488-1933
SysOps,
-=r?x=-
Hell?ireX-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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