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The Focus of Life
~ THE FOCUS OF LIFE ~ by AUSTIN OSMAN SPARE
THE MUTTERINGS OF AAOS
APHORISM I
"The effort of remembering in the Valley of Fear."
KIA OF THE EFFIGIES SPEAKS OF ZOS IN SOLILOQUY:
I bring a sword that contains its own medicine: The sour milk that cureth the body.
Prepare to meet God, the omnifarious believing,-Thyself the living truth.
Die not to spare, but that the world may perish.
Nature is more atrocious. Learning all things from Thee in the most sinister way for representationrom thy thought to become thereafter. Having suffered pleasure and pain, gladly dost thou deny thetigs of existence for freedom of desire-from this sorry mess of inequality-once so desired.
And is fear of desire. The addition of the 'I' of a greater illusion.
Desire is the conception I and induces Thou.
There is neither thou nor I nor a third person-loosing this consciousness by unity of I and Self; th would be no limit to consciousness in sexuality.
Isolation in ecstasy, the final inducement, is enough-But, procreate thou alone!
Speak not to serve but to scoff. Hearest thou, heaven's loud guffaw?
Directly the mouth opens it speaks righteousness.
In the ecstatic laughter of men I hear their volition towards release.
How can I speak that for which I have necessitated silence?
Salvation shall be Unsay all things: and true, as is time, that speaketh all things.
Of what use are hints or stage whispers?
True wisdom cannot be expressed by articulate sounds.
The language of fools-is words.
In the labyrinth of the alphabet the truth is hidden.
It is one thing repeated many times.
Confined within the limits or rationalism; no guess has yet answered.
O Zos, thou art fallen into the involuntary accident of birth and rebirth into the incarnating ideas women.
A partial sexuality entangled in the morass of sensual law.
On earth the circle was fabricated.
The origin of all things is the complex self. How shall it be made the end of things?
Dubious of all things by this increase, and ignorance of individuality. I or Self, in conflict, sepae.
This forgetfulness of symboli becomes the unexplored 'reason' of existence.
Unable to concieve the events of the present: what shall be knowledge of past and future? Verily, thcreator speaks 'I know not what I do.'
And in this living nightmare, where all is cannibalism. Why dost thou deny thyself? Verily, Man resees his creator, in that he consumes himself in much filth.
Heaven gives indiscriminately of its superabundance to make the ghastly struggle called existence.
The necessity was a deliberate serving of its own pleasure-becoming more alien. Remoteness from self pain and precocious creation. Through this remoteness from Self-thou dost not hear thine own callt e potentially Thyself. The living self does not habitate.
There is no truth in thy wish. Pleasure wearies of thee.
Ecstatic fulfilment of ecstasy, is it asking too much?
Alas, the smallness of man's desire!
Thou shalt suffer all things once again: unimagined sensations, and so consume the whole world.
O Zos, thou shalt live in millions of forms and every conceivable thing shall happen unto Thee.
Remember these senses are that which thou hast desired.
What is all thought but a morality of the senses that has become sex?
What is desired of the Self is given-eventually.
The desire is sufficient. The 'Self,' will pleasure in all things.
There is only one sense,-the sexual. There is only one desire,-procreation.
I am the cause-thou the effect.
I am all that I concieve. Not for all time but at some time.
'I multiply I' is creation: The sexual infinity.
There is no end to the details of my extreme likeness.
The more chaotic-the more complete am I.
The soul is the ancestral animals. The body their knowledge.
This omnivorous soul, how lusty: it would seem to be everlasting in its suicide.
These modified sexualities are the index of knowledge; this realized; the dualities do not obstruct h associations that involve infinite complexities and much education.
Existence is a continuation of self-realization. To create value where there is none. By all desire ng one there is no overlapping nor the later necessity of undesiring. Complex desire is the furthe ration of different desire, not the realization of [particular] desire.
O Zos, Thou shall die of extreme youth! Death is a disease of fear.
All is a backward walking-realized incapacity of volition: To walk towards thyself.
With thine infinite self multiplication of associations Thou knowest all things.
Among sentient creatures human birth is highly desirable, man desires emancipation-liberation to hisimeval self.
Remember! Didst thou leave the high estate for worse things?
Man becomes what he relapses into.
Cast into demoniacal moulds, human nature is the worst possible nature.
The degenerate need women, dispense with that part of thyself.
Give unto her all thy weaknesses, it is the suffering half.
Pain awaits him, who is sentimentally desirous.
Be it thus: 'Woman, there shall be no vintage from our kisses'.
In man and woman is thy 'being.' But I say, Thou could'st create this body anew.
Awake! The time has come for the new sexualities!
Then would be occasion for greater pleasures.
To improve the species ye men must love one another.
This old illusion of righteousness has gained a future state wherein men labour every doubt.
Thou art that which thou dost prefer. The seer, the instrument of seeing, or the seen.
Conscious desire is the negation of possession: the procrastination of reality.
Make thy desire subconscious; the organic is creative impluse to will.
Beware of thy desire. Let it be something that implies nothing but itself. There are no differences-y degrees of sensation.
Provoke consciousness in touch, ecstasy in vision.
Let thy highest virtue be: "Insatiety of desire, brave self-indulgence and primeval sexualism."
Realization is not by the mere utterance of the words 'I am I' nor by self-abuse, but by the living .
If the desire for realization exists in thee, sensouous objects will continually provide convenienceRealization of this Self, which is all pleasure at will, is by consciousness of one thing in belief. be the same is the difficulty.
Thought is the negation of knowledge. Be thy business with action only.
Purge thyself of belief: live like a tree walking!
Take no thought of good or evil. Become self-active causality by Unity of thine, I and Self.
Reality exists but not in consciousness of such: this phenomenal 'I' is noumenal and neither-neitherow thus is concentration explained: "The will, the desire, the belief; lived as inseparable, becomeelization."
Truth concerns exactitude of belief, not reality.
He who has no law is free. In all things there is no necessity.
Become weary of devising wisdom in morals.
Many unseemly words have been spoken in self slander, what more painful than that? For in the mud I ad on thee. The path men take from every side is mine.
There is nothing more to be said.
'I'-infinite space.
APHORISM II
"Morals of shadow, wherein the Arcana of Zos has no commandments"
ZOS SPEAKS OF IKKAH:
Leaving aside all unreal dreams, consider this world as insincere disbelief.
Lo this day salvation has come. My 'I and Self' has agreed in belief.
I would ask of thee thy suppressed self. Is it not the new thing desired? No man shall follow me. I not thy preservation. Thou art the way. Assuredly, thy virtue is to be equally different.
Thy complaint is the calamity: The hypocrite is always at prayer. Dost thou suffer? Thou shalt againffer, till thine I does not fear its body. Rather seek and increase by thy temptations, it is but h ay to intelligence.
Transgression is wiser than prayer: Make this thy obsession. Thank only thyself and be silent.
The coward's way is religion. There is no fear-but righteousness.
Let this be thy one excuse, I pleasured myself.
Brave laughter-not faith. Rewarded are the courageous for they shall pass!
Thine I is envious of satisfaction. Yet none devotes himself to reality.
Whoever learneth much, unlearneth all sentimental and small desires. This is the new atavism I wouldach: Demand of God equality-usurp! The mighty are righteous for their morals are arbitrary.
Live beyond thought in courageous originality.
These hopes and fears are somnism, there is little reality. Repent not, but strive to sin in thine oway, light-heartedly: without self-reproach. One becomes the thing itself or its creature.
Judge without mercy, all this weakness is thy self-abuse.
Experience is by contract. The great experience: Seduce thyself to pleasure.
There is only one sin-suffering.
There is only on virtue-the will to self-pleasure.
The greatest- the greatest non-morally.
The origin of morality is obedience to the earliest form of government. In youth, all things have toey their parents.
O, my aged IKKAH, loose this the navel cord, that my youth may pass! The most important outcome of hn effort is that we learn to become righteous thieves: To possess more easily of others for self-avnage. In this incessant glorification of work, I discover a great human secret: "Do thou the workI y leasure." As above so below, this is never sufficiently realized.
. . . Remorse? Nay, do unto thyself all things, fearlessly.
Finality is reached when ye have learned to digest everything.
What is all man-slaughter but what ye have done unto yourself?
Only where there is necessity is ther death. Dispense with all 'means' to an end.
There is nothing higher than joyous sensation.
Eternal Self! these millions of bodies I have outworn!
Oh, sinister ecstasy. I am thy vicious self pleasure that destroyeth all things.
Distrust thy teacher, for 'divine truth' has prevented better men from wisdom. In such revelation th is no suggestion.
Do thy utmost unto others: But be surely what thou wilt: and keep thy belief free of morality.
Observe thyself by sensation: thus know the finer perturbations and vibrations.
This much shalt thou learn: To love all men, for there will be compulsion.
Serve no man, hell is democracy.
Think not the words 'I wish,' say not the words 'I will.'
Respect thy body: it will again become thy parents.
Fear nothing,-strike at the highest.
Ennui is fear: Death is failure. Go where thou fearest most.
How canst thou become great among men? . . . Cast thyself forth! Of this event, genius is the succesl effort of memory.
Break thy commandments, be lawless unto all dogma.
Revolt is the fertiliser of the new faculties.
Knowledge and all evil wars react from previous existences that are now fragmentary to the body and rate as disembodied astrals. The more distant the creature that govern our functions the more unusa s our manifestation of phenomena, which are but living their physical peculiarities by a mechanim.Rerogress to the point where knowledge ceases, in that law becomes its own spontaneity and is fredo.
If my word has spoken unto fragments, pushed aside marriage beds, and brushed out old grave chambersf I ever rejoiced in calumnies, if I have murdered, lied, adulterated, robbed; if like the weatherIsit on all things-is it because I remember, that of my belief-there is a volition that willeth oposte
For I love thee, O Self!
For I love thee, O mine I!
Oh! how could I fail to be agog for originality in self-love?
Never yet has procreation with another been satisfactory.
If I have wandered into marriage with anything-there has been a conspiracy of accidents: within and hout.
And what willeth to self-pleasure- this out-breather of good taste, this conversion to ungodliness?
I know thee! . . . thou heavenly necessity that compelleth chance to supersede the sexualities!
For mine I is worthy of the Self: and alone knows what is righteousness.
Verily, I tell you good and evil are one and the same.
It is but the distance thou hast reached.
Will unto self-love - the unexhausted, the procreative of ecstasy!
Where there is life there is will unto pleasure-however paradoxical the manifestation.
Where living things command they risk nothing but their own law.
This Self-love does not circumscribe nor promise but gives whatsoever is taken-spontaneously.
Thus I teach thee, will unto pleasure of all things, for they must again change the tenacity to obedce. And this new name I give unto thee, for all accusations: Not sinner, but somnambulist.
For he who premeditates, acts in his sleep.
Having overcome the difficulty of obtaining a male incarnation from parents not too venereal, one's itation should be wandering among men: Employment, devotion to Art: Bed, a hard surface: Clothes o ael hair: Diet, sour milk and roots of the earth. All morality and love of women should be ignore. o hom does not such abandonment give the unknown pleasure?
Again I say: 'In all things' pleasure Thyself, for occasion need not be.
APHORISM III
"The Chaos of the Normal"
IKKAH SPEAKS OF HIMSELF:
I would counsel closed ears, for those who contain the great Ideas, have no opinions.
Who doth know what his own subconsciousness contains? Still less his own Arcana. They are the great allow its operation by silence.
Of two things we have choice: degeneration or immobility.
Out of the past cometh this new thing.
Becoming heaven's slaves-is some of pleasure begged again?
Man strives for increase,-the monstrous world of vague and mad Ideas is incarnating.
Come back, your goal is jail! Turn about and you arrive .....
This maddest of worlds. Daily is pleasure limited by the necessity of cheapened facilities.
Onwards and ever more weary-till sleep-then backwards.
There is nothing conceivable that does not exist, because the vision is feeble.
In keeping the right distance from Things, is Safety. But how much should we gain?
Experience is ignorance. The necessity of reoccurrence.
One thing is certain: we are subject to our own moral laws, whether we are or are not aware of them.e desire determines, and no later belief shall alter it one whit.
The highest creations are those that harmonize the most incongruous things.
Art is the truth we have realized or our belief.
The great human factor in Life is deceit: Always the greater deceiver-self?
The wrath is revealed against all that hold the truth in righteousness.
Still are those shallownesses, who could know they hide a universe?
And tell me, what is it the obvious does not contain?
Know much of life! Should death give you its secret?
Self suggestion-to will, this is the great teacher: not dogma.
To those of fixed Ideas, beware of suppressed evacuation.
What the world reveres most, treat with the utmost contempt.
Consumption, evacuation, sleep: this labour suffers of no variation for to-morrow we again procreatefe.
O, fool! suicide does not exist . . . there is no death.
Death is change and for many very small change.
You who stink like a butcher's shambles-what is your daily menu?
Become less carnivorous. If the food is wholesome, the body shall not suffer.
The difference between man and beast is one of acquisition, not digestion.
There is no lasting peace-ye eternally fall in love with the new thing of belief.
To the mental gymnast: your somersault returns from the place where it began.
Slave! All you know for certain-you suffer.
Embrace reality by imagination.
From birth is a degeneration of function-safe is he who never leaves his mother's womb.
What is perfect does not reflect its caricature. What is true has no argument-in that it is voliton.e workers of malignity own the Kingdom of Earth.
What asses these teachers, prophets and moralists now appear! And through them what greater she-assee have become!
You would have prophecy? First tell me your sleeping partner's name . . . . .
What once evoked a mighty passion-is now repulsive; lest ye forget: sleep alone.
If you yourself cannot be ungodly-then nothing will convert you.
No nearer th goal for life is eternal.
Which are more unclean: they who make a profesion of their morality, or they who prostitute?
Life is a viscous charity from which germinates friendships towards parasites.
The necessity of a better life is intoxication but more and greater things than strong drink intoxic.
Thou hast become remote-I rejoice in thee!
Who invented such things as vanity and humiliation?
The higher the form of creation the more it habitates earth and the more it is conscious of body.
Everything that is half realized becomes the material of dreams; man has always badly mixed the dreaith the reality.
He who transcends time escapes necessity.
The living Lord speaks: 'In disciples is my satisfaction.' A weary one asked: 'Is it not written on sandals of the prostitute-follow me?'
All undesirable things become morally fearsome.
Only the animal in man dances . . .
Hatred is life-the love of possession.
He who can truthfully say-I believe in nothing but myself-in all things realized.
ZOD-KA SPEAKS OF IKKAH
The abyss Self projecting from non-existence the procreatrix I, was the great change and the beginni to extend the purpose of desire-for Time to make all existence inexact-those things kept ever vage
Thus was the will to operate unbegotten.
One thing is nominally, everything alternatingly desirous. That which is first desired is permitted,en externalized and taken away by a circumlocution of beliefs becoming law.
No knowledge would seperate us from the virtues of non-existence but that for man-having become invod with disease, all his food is poisonous; his complete saturation is inevitable that he may becom gin healthy. Thus man wills by thought.
By the 'death posture' (A simulation of death by the utter negation of thought, i.e. the prevention desire from belief and the functioning of all consciousness through the sexuality) [not for subjecinof mind, body or longevity nor any thing as such] the Body is allowed to manifest spontaneously ndisarbitrary and impervious to reaction. Only he who is unconscious of his actions has courage beondgoo and evil: and is pure in this wisdom of sound sleep.
Will to pleasure is the basic function underlying all activity whether conscious or not,-and whatsoe the means.
Denial of this Self-love is disease-the cause of homicide; the sufferings of part-sexualities and sm things germinating.
Knowledge of necessities is desirous:-Deliberation is but a sorry disatisfaction-a first cause of ilions, harnessing man to a mass of half-realized desires. Remember! O Ikkah, these present Ideas ofcnciousness obtaining in senses and bodies, are transitory-are destined for usage and other predetrmnaions-and unnecessary to wakefulness. Will is transition; the painful process of transmigrationthelabur of birth of death. Volition to supersede a thing is inability to realize the living Self.For hateer is attained is but the re-awaking of an earlier experience of body.
Man should most desire a simultaneous consciousness of his separate entities. All consciousness of 'is a decline and vegetates good and evil afresh-the compulsion of limit and morality. From spontanosnonexistence, germinate all significant ecstasy-that shall last in the uttermost impossibilitiesunonitioned to will.
Alas! what ornaments are grave-yards? The pleasure ground of self is contact with the living.
The fool hastens to man with a mouth overfull of new discoveries of power subservient to will! What ters it that we have realized a little more of I? Of beyond its limits of possibility?
Note well! All things are possible even in nightmares-becoming, they are a necessity, an additional ndary to memory-the further seperate entities of consciousness.
Remember O Ikkah! Thou shall not cease to be again what is denied-unto the end of conception: thus mhas constructed his seed. These sentient creatures and the beyond conceptions in the order of evolto were thou once as they?
O Ikkah, Thou art this present God-this termite and many other things not yet domesticated or associd with thought.
This focus 'I' called consciousness is unaware of its entire living embodiments but alternates and eomizes their personalities.
What is 'I' and the extent of its conscious habitation?
. . . A weak desire, a memory governed by ethics and ignorant of its own bodies. Therefore that whics indeliberate is the more vital and is will: discarded knowledge is the sexuality and becomes law
Thus entity exists in many units simultaneously without consciousness of 'Ego' as one flesh. Verily,say-the deliberations of many exist in living animations-their consciousness split among a multitueo creatures but knowing only the more important [?] incarnations-What greater misery than this?
Of others, their awake-consciousness is aware of more than one entity and obtain ecstasy by saturablesire.
O Ikkah! Jest viciously! Abandon this haunted mortuary in a blind turning-by significant courage.
The 'I' surfeit-swelled is the end of compassion-the indrawing of sex to Self-love. Fortunate is he absorbs his female bodies-ever projecting-for he acquires the extent of his body.
Whatever is desired, predetermines its existence in endless ramifications miserably and evanescent: f-love is the paradox of I.
Oh Ikkah Zod-ka! Thy fiction of finality has prevented sleep and created eternity. O, invent sound sp by the utter ruin of cosmos!
For impalpably and anterior to consciousness-all things exist....
With sensibility and name, becoming its living simulation and thus it disappears-involving its consent necessity.
Reason has become too sensible, thus desire has become legerdemain mixed with diablerie. The soul, pd and blighted . . . is a civil war of desire: thereof the necessity for medicine and anesthesia. a as made this environment: the mind is now the belly of the sexuality. Thus I suggest to thee- Sef-ov and its own temptation to excess.
Verily, greater courage hath none than to satisfy the unexpected desire by Self-pleasure.
For this reason, that when the desire again reacts, to operate in the ego, the suffering shall be ectic. How do I know? Not by farcical dialogue with Self but through contact with its undulations . re we not ever standing on our own volcano?
What is beyond man-something more dishonest or a further beast?
One thing is desired, another is thought; and a different becomes.
Everything loved obtains an obscene disease. These dream postures are ominous prophecy of thyself tocome-the obscure wish. O joy and woe! which is the higher morality-to love man while being man or orincarnate as woman to fulfil desire? Death is that degeneration, an alternation of ego in consciuses [i.e., desire], its metamorphosis into separate entities for that purpose: serving its own. Mn'slivng virtues are those unfamiliar with names. His absurd I is ever supralapsarian. Man has exhuste hiscourage by imaginations engendered from the damned: Never can he satisfy what follows thes reprssion.
Thou who tremblest all over! Thy soul shudders! Thou dost perish from the poison of yesterday's armoand righteousness! O incomprehensible synonymy! O thou who art neither the vigorous kiss of my twi ees nor its writhings of hatred and black shame. Nothing is discovered of thee until I invented i: ro the ceaseless resurrection of earlier deliberations. O thou syzygy of my I and Self! Thou becmes voatile to whatsoever is sensed. Art thou the hidden wish for madness and hysteric love? O tho "unamed within, thou shall not lose virtue-for thee I will not domesticate while generating. O idocy! here s that path where I may wander naked in frenzy, a trespasser against all things reasonabe? O tme! sath good and evil: 'Come, come! Ego, I come!'
. . . . . . .
Knowledge alone is transitory, the illusion subsequent to 'I desire all things.'
Eternal, without beginning is Self; without end am I; there is no other power and substance. The evehanging modifications and diversities we see are the results of forgetfulness, misinterpretated byngtmare senses. When the Self again desires, then I only and nothing else shall remain. Permittingal tings, whatsoever is imagined comes out of it. Believe what you will, it has no compassion. Theconotaion Self-love is applicable to all things. To it, all things are equal. The destroyer of devtees lovr of all things unique.
Giving overflow to all who are indifferent to wanglers, who jest at doctrines . . . of emancipation celibacy and vituperation. I declare this Self-pleasure alone is free of Theism; the disenthralmen fGod and the distractions of ego in the many entities of existence I show.
Ye who praise Truth thereby causing its necessity are compelled to live differently. Out of this afthought of belief-thrives this somnambulating generation of unpleasured fools, liars and homicides-vrbewildered by good and evil. All has become inborn sex, so complex 'am I,' that a successful awaenngis impossible without catastrophe. Birth is now painful, life a dire necessity and death an unertint-except of fearsome things. What further, O Ikkah, should a cesspool of truths contain? Nor ruth norwomen, nor anything else once made objective shall satisfy. They who are committed to doctines hall ontinue to move in this cycle of transmigrating belief: degenerating beyond limits they are no face,and so allow conception to exist of itself from the imaginations 'I believe.'
What more disgusting? For I am all sex. What I am not is moral thought, simulating and separating. Iined through forgetfulness, born asleep, whose very essence is vague, how can this world with suchvpd antecedents, be anything but unthinkable! What man prohibits and then commits will certainly cus sffering, because he has willed double. Born of complex desire, results of actions are dual: mutitdinus virtue and vice. Creation is causee through this formula of reaction and is a servile belevin-allthis universe has come out of it. When by that unprohibiting Self-love all this cosmos is ertaily failiar and pleasured, it should be practised with labour.
But who is honest enough to believe this without relapse? Having renounced both good and evil convently, one should engage in spasmodic madness. Renouncing everything else take shelter in that Self-oe which incites the functions into the bold, 'freedom from necessity am I': virtue and vice shallcese Self-illumination am I; the procreatrix of this universe. Indomitable in body: born of the batar trth I made. When the eyes are shut the world certainly does not exist. O chaos! is there no geate joythan flagellation; the ecstatic paralysis that makes holocausts of withered souls; the hidouslypitiale cripples-"I fear . . . "? I assert this Self-love to be a most secret ritual hidden b blaspemous deographs: and he who calls, pronouncing the word fearlessly, the entire creation of wmen shal rush nto him.
What are lies-but mistimed events?
What is time but a variety of one thing?
What is all folly, but will?
What are all beliefs but the possibilities of I?
What is all future but resurrection?
What is all creation but thyself?
Why is all existence? Awake! Up! up, for thine own sake-
Self-love discover.
O sin, where is thy violence?
O love, where is thine incest?
O thought, where is thy courage?
O hope, where is thy faith?
O Self where is thy humility?
O truth, where is thy mispronunciation?
Verily, Self-love alone is complete!
THE SEXUALITY AND SLEEP OF AAOS
Aaos having realized at an early age that all systems of belief, religion and rituals; consisted aloin their original value to their creators; And were of the weary, to incarnate pleasure by hope, cnrl by fear; and to Deify by morals; That cowards fear, and must needs promise pleasure of their sffrigs; And they who had experienced "I," would have you destroy its body; and potential: Verily, aosreaized that the origin of I, was for pleasurable procreation . . . but that things had been chnged
Aaos then pondered in his heart long over the geometry of the world of senses; and spake thus: "How short has realization fallen from original conception? Have we not lived all things previous to teeent? What is any desire but all desire? but men get married and nothing is sufficiently arbitrar.
I am the origin of all creation, certain it is that I want not salvation,
[observing all the miserably diseased mob:]
"O, grant that I may add to the world a far greater suffering!"
God is a precocious creation of the Apes, something that must be suppressed: Man must regain his sexity.
What is man-this feeder on dead bodies of Self? . . . A mole, a carnivorous plant, a disease of hims, a conglomeration of-"it was" and a cause, effecting the miscarriage of his desires-ever creatinghsfuture necessities:
What man knoweth the perturbations of his own fear?
Verily, suffering is its own reward.
He who willed, knoweth not his own offspring.
Man projects a vague 'Self' and calls it truth and many other qualified names: Verily, once a Thing named it becomes nothingness to its meaning.
All happiness is an illusion and a sorry snare. All righteousness is a dishonesty and all sin a pleae. Assuredly, the courageous alone seem safe . . . without remorse.
Man invented Self-pleasure but knoweth not his own love.
Everything was once arbitrary. Yet they who spoke: their power has ended in common sexual practice-armal only with jaded appetites. They who knew were rightly crucified, scorned, ignored and their muh sealed with their own excrement.
Have we not forgotten more than we shall ever learn?
Where is the magic to revitalize the mouldering words?
Everything is again eventually arbitrary!
What is there to believe that is free of belief? What is there to will that is safe from reaction?
Why is belief always incarnating? Though oft times not even a sincere wish? Who among men knoweth whhe believes? Everything is true at some time.
What is this unpleasant Thing, necessity-suffering? How originated pain? What is necessity-but condined belief?
What is it we eternally desire and say, through disease?
Verily, directly a man speaketh-he suffers.
What is Self and I? And all these myriad forms called creation-all so essentially like me? Who can rize this Self-portraiture of all Things?
Verily, the sexuality has no limit in conception.
Whither I would go, there had I long been before.
Eternal re-occurence would seem necessary to greater multiplicity!
For what reason this loss of memory by these bewilding refractions of my original image,-that I oncede-and out of which spring the sexes?
God is born again of desire, call it by whatever name: this unmanifested memory has no name till bel incarnates. Hence it may be called,-the re-occuring sub-division of 'I'. Everything becomes necesay
Man is subject to his own law: All else is an obscene jest and a lie.
Thus reasoned Aaos in his youth and went to sleep alone.
After a vilely repulsive nightmare Aaos awoke saying:
"Quiescent are my depths, who could realize They contain such criminal abortions of the cosmos?"
What is all body but materialized desire? What are dreams but unsatisfied desires striving to foretetheir possibility in despite of morals?
Life is but will, that has become organic after satiety; its further desires striving for Unity. Deais that further will incarnating in body.
The next day Aaos spoke unto his growing beard:
"Destroy O, my Self, these hallucinations of I am not by knowledge of pleasure."
Thou mighty ecstasy that willeth Thy pleasure in suffering!
Make my consciousness reality of thee in body!
What is Self but Cosmos? What is I but Chaos? Eternally creating its pleasure, everything could becoarbitrary.
Whatever deceit we practice, the functions of the emotions are one; their expression dual: Time makimultitudinous by denial.
What is experience, but denial? What is the centre, but belief?
After a long suspiration, Aaos spoke aloud to his 'I':
"Awake, my Self-love! Leave this hour of cow-dust, I am all things to pleasure. Too long have I livehe nightmares of others in my sleep . . . Arise! get forth and feed from the mighty udder of Life.To art not a cow-herd, nor grass, neither cows no kine! But once again, a creator of cows-who love tei breasts! Are not all things cows to thy pleasure-whether they would or not? And what is Cow? s i no a fountain? Didst thou not create God, teach nature all secrets and crowd the spaces with cws o desre, unknown and manifesting? Didst thou not create and destroy Woman?"
Again Aaos spoke, but unto his lidless eye:
"Behold thou hoary, white headed, thou silent watcher of night and day: thou death-clutch on the smaesses of Time! This neither-neither I, shall transvalue ennui, fear, and all diseases to my wish. edis my misery in suffering! How could it exist in my Zodiac, unwilled? I, who transcend ecstasy b estsy meditating Need not be in Self-love! Verily, this constant ecstasy I indraw from Self-creaton.By astrating 'of,' my belief is balanced: my arbitrary automatism serving its diverse self-pleaure.
Then Aaos meditated and murmured: "All things exist by me: all men exist in me, yet who doth not turway from his own superabundance while realizing? All desire is for unity: thus my vision seeth thruhmine ears. Let my unity be realized sufficiently, thus shall my sexuality be convenient unto itslfan escape the conceivable . . . Where is lust when the tests wither? Verily these senses have a urter upose beyond their own: thus shall thou steal the fire from Heaven. All things return to ther ealies functions."
At that moment Aaos realized he was not alone; and a voice asked:
"Hast thou no fear?"
Laughing aloud, Aaos answered:
"Hidden from thy small susceptibilities, monstrous enormities are commited! On the day my wind blowea little the cow-dust away-thou O fool, shalt vomit hot blood at thine own prostitution and incest hn thou knowest not, the lust wills non-rationally, the belief bindeth with modest Ideas; the bod i sbject and suffers. What man can prevent his belief from incarnating? Who is free of filth and isese?All men are servile to the great unconsciousness of thier purpose in desire. The I thinks, te Sef doh. There is no salvation from desire, neither day nor night does it cease its lengthy proceatio of cuse and effect: penetrating all things inexplicably. Endless are its elements and nothin whatsever ecapes its embrace-but its own Self-love. . . . Should I fear my I?"
Aaos lowering his voice, uttered:
"What further use shall I give my sexuality? Verily it is alway speaking for me! This I, non-resistito the Self, becomes irresistible."
When the voice had left Aaos went his way muttering and smiling:
"Can it be possible that dead wives resurrect?"
For he thought that-Woman was dead. With this reflection Aaoss became silent. Awaking from his Self-rospection he spake aloud to his body:
"Man is something that has resurrected from an archetype, a previous desire gone to worms. All conceons predetermine their degeneration or supersedure by degrees of morality. Verily a new sexuality hl be mine,-unecessary to degenerate or surpass. To give it a name, I call it the Unmodified sexuait; ithout a name it shall be conscious of all desire: thus no ecstasy shall escape me. Its wisdomshal b dreams of Self-love vibrating all the manifestations-I am he, who self pleasures non-morall."
THE DEAD BODY OF AAOS:
Aaos preparing for death uttered in soliloque:
"O, thou inconceivableness that transcends human desire; thou magnificent incongruous Face. For mills of years thou hast not wearied of my body. What would Thy pleasure be but for my wantonness?"
"I teach you the glad death of all things." Thus spake my knowing mouth.
"My belief has created the more beautiful body and desires of rebirth. Fear I the transvaluation cal death? Knew I not death, when time was born? Arise, old memory! And tell my consciousness of thisfeuent experience-once again!"
Then Death spake unto Aaos:
"No stranger, nor enemy to me is Aaos, we are too ancient friends to come to blows. What hast thou c to take from me this time? What fresh associations for thy new body? No self-denial has Aaos! Tho at not come to rap tables. To awake the disembodied Astrals!"
Aaos answered:
"In my life my memory lived numerous remotenesses which were once me. My belief reached associationsat out-stripped all morality and rationalism. My I chanced much with the Self: certain it is, I coent to repent . . nor seek a wife. Yea, my will conquered faith and sincerely laughed at every rigteusess! Now that my individual consciousness dissolves, to saturate again with its furthermost deire, t form the new body:-O mighty death, remember at the time of incarnating-my utmost immorality my righening madnesses, my jesting sins, my satyr carouses, my grotesque concubine of chaos! Remeber Odeath my frenzied longing that has no name [Oh, forget my first kiss of love, now withered asa falln leaf. Make this my sexuality complete, all knowing, so that I may again procreate the lust Self-lve in iolation!"
Then Aaos spake unto the ferryman:
"O time, of nothing now am I ashamed to admit parentage. What I generate is future, body to become. ave learned and unlearned in equal labouring this universe. Hard has been my faith and denial. Tha hch is incomprehensible have I made,-have I impelled inwards to make secure for reaction. My knowede s but the murmuring of a few words with ever changing intonation and meaning. For I have suffeed hatwhich shall never be forgotten or spoken: Thus much have I realized of Life. Where is fear wen Iimpe procreation? O earth! all memories! solid, liquid, vapour and flaming! Old sentiment is m body germnating afresh: again to exist and change by the command, 'I desire.' The Alpha and Omegaof my isdom s-glad suicide: it has become inevitable and shall be my payment to thee. Steel and poson aremy frieds. Steel for Self, poison for vermin-for myself diseased. I will this fruitful violnce, my eath kis, thus to realize my hyper-commands."
With his belief firmly fixed, his full red lips smiling, with bright eyes; Aaos clasped his sword sag:
"Greater love hath no man than Self-destruction in pleasure." No new experience for Aaos! And thus hied.
Death is named the great unknown. Assuredly, death is the great chance. An adventure in will, that tslates into body. What happens after death? Will it be more surprising than this world? Could I sa?M experience may not be the commonplace . . .
Without doubt, all shall experience the 'rushing winds' that blow from within, the body beyond perspive, into cosmic dust,-till consciousness again develops. Death is a transfiguration of life, an ivrion, a reversion of the consciousness to parantage and may be a diversion! A continuation of evouton The coming forth of the suppressed.
Do you know what happens to the body at death? Exactly what changes take place? Well, so it happens your beliefs, desires, etc., that make consciousness, for all things seen are incarnate desire, th neen; Ideas of the past and future bodies. From these the new body is determined and parantage seecedby the laws of attraction.
The wise man makes sure of his future parents and a male incarnation before death.
Consciousness [for most, only three dimensions] is not so definite as in life but to the extent of y will in life, that much is your consciousness in death.
Death is the manufacture of life. A dream is a sore likeness of Life.
Death is a sore dream of life. Its period depending on the perfection or otherwise of the individualt closely follows in duration the previous life-till re-incarnation.
Death being a living nightmare of life, has painful possibilities-in the degree of unified consciouss. A ghostly world of 'perhaps' where all the vague potentialities of desire, are incarnating. Theei no women as such.
Again I say, death is the great chance and there grasp where thou hast before failed in body.
If fate is life, then death is the hazard to alter fate!
A world where will creates the afterthought in its own image.
For most, death will hold mainly blank pages, but were we ever treated all alike?
Study your dreams in this life, it may help you in the death posture.
THE HEAVEN OF AAOS:
"All things are subject to resurrection" thus spake smiling Aaos, on rising from the dead.
Then turning towards his shadow . . . .
"I come! the changing word that destroys religion, a vortex wind that shall jest in Temples! Again! eveller in the marshalled order of the sexes, the mad anarch of desires, the wild satyr of wolfishkses! Once again to earth, O Thou whirlwind of desire, thou drunken breath of ribald lightning! Myvapie chalice of ecstasy! Yea, as my rapacious flame reareth before thee, thou escapeth from me wih te lughing whisper of thy wonderful pleasure! O, L.C.O' CS!! thou insatiable thirst of my self-lve, ith one but thee will I procreate!"
"What now am I after resurrection? The sinful despair of magic? I am the Iconoclast of Logos: The suatyr of Chaos! Thunder and lightnings? Yea, a vital gaiety to drowsy dust, to blase souls. Ecstati aghter that reverberates and awakens . . . I am the shuddering heights and suffocating depths of go sipping and becoming. Inconceivable women am I. A clouded vista of abyss, wherein to visit nake, m vapire Self. Wherein to write a cryptic language of my sexes, that I am the Key. Wherein to bech frth enomous atmosphere towards the highest. Wherein to drench my thirsted tongue on thy goat'smilk;to batle with thy cataleptic kisses, to swoon in thy consuming subtilty. O my mistress, I am nutterbly drnk striving thy depths. I am the great cypher of love and hate knotted. The sphinx suriving, ever suficiently imagined. I am the grotesque refractions of form and Self. The bitter purgtive, caled deat. A violence that out-lasts the morning. Moon turbulent waters am I: the frightenig black Abatross o unashamed women-where men are. I am the over mature breasts of a child: the virin womb, hdden by nihtmares. Constant in metamorphosis, permeating creation without compassion. Th unexcelledimpulse tha has never failed. Yea, I am all these-yet never known. My kiss is a sword trust! For whm, am I, thi insatiable fountain in the hot deserts? Only for thee, O, L.C.O'CS!" Thussang Aaos, th blasphemer, hrowing off his grave shroud.
Going again among men [for he pleasured in all men], he gave unto them his magic book, named: "Life Death, the jest called love, wherein every man is a God, in whatsoever he will his belief."
And Aaos passed his way, muttering to his goatish beard:
"What now is left all hope is dead? For I have buried my illusion and dishonesty. Thus my body is noll inconceivableness! O, God, where is thine enemy?"
THE DREAMS OF AAOS
THE I AND THE ARCANUM
One day the time drew near for the experiment and Aaos was watching the waters, to make arcana by arrary projection into the utter void of his isolation. And this was his wish-"In future my dreams salinterpretate themselves as will [i.e. reaction]."
For, he reasoned: "Why not live asleep all suffering?" Aaos had lived the preliminary ritual of habin the cesspools and exhausted them in the mountains. Before projection he prayed thus to the water:" thou I, vice versa-my God. I at least shall not be thy jest. In life I have realized possibilitesno contained in heaven-amidst a cowardice inconceivable but accomplished everywhere. I have madeknon [pening his book] something that is different to the muck of retouched photography which men all ealiy: although it has been the evil habit of thousands of years. I have created art [lived beief] hat srpasses all evolved conception. I have incarnated that which I-need to rationalize: Veriy-not he eve present portraiture of experience to satisfy the ovine: No obvious allegory of asses-hinkingGod: Nostill-life group of empty bottles and old maids commonplaces: Nor the gay-tragedy ofsong. Bu stange esires of stranger arcana. The law I make while thinking God-and will smash and reake again so that may commit every conceivable sin against its word. My utility has been-my pleasre-that alne is my srvice to man and to heaven, in that I am the Goat."
After his devotion Aaos prepared for the Death posture and judgement. Awaking from the awful wrath-hteeth chattering, his limbs shivering and drenched with a cold perspiration, he allowed the ague t xaust itself and thought thus:
"Verily, I have nothing to forgive or repent . . . Alas! what fears this I but its own conditions? Mwill create the faster moving body outside himself-always prefering compulsion to the infinite posiiities of freedom. Alas! Alas! that which is ornamental reacts its uselessness-the symbol 'I was. Te ecroloque of love-is utility."
Then rising from his couch and taking an ecstatic inbreath:
"Again would I die violently and jest at God."
The operation having exhausted him he suffered this daydream:
"The waters became murky, then muddy, and movement began. Going nearer, he observed-a phosphorescentrass crowded with restless abortions of humanity and creatures-like struggling mudworms, aimless adbind: an immense swamp of dissatisfaction; a desire smashed into pieces."
With his will, the dream changed and he became in a vast warehouse-cum-brothel. Realizing his whereats he muttered:
"Such is life, an endless swallowing and procreation, morally, man is a bastard."
The floor was strewn with dirty clothes and candle ends: knowing the strangest women, nothing was pling enough . . . so his attention wandered to the upper story. He was certain he had been there beoeby a staircase. But now, there was no easy means of access. He would have to climb whatever servd.Afer much painful effort he managed to reach and hang on to the balustrade of the upper floor. Tere henoticed the store contained innumerable strange effigies and new creations of humanity. He srugged frther along to obtain an easy means of ingress, thinking:
"Where there is desire-there shall be found the desired sleeping partner. What is true, is pleasurabSelf. I have now reached the sixth letter of the alphabet."
When suddenly he observed another and more agile following him-who when reaching Aaos, clutched hold him-shouting:
"Where I cannot reach, thou too shall not ascend."
Their combined weight became too heavy-the balustrading collapsed and they both fell . . . Aaos feltmself falling as into a bottomless pit-when with a start he awoke, and after introspection spoke t i heart:
"Verily I have fallen in love with a new belief and become moral! This I reflects itself differentlyhat was once easy- is now difficult. All reflections are radiated matter incarnating. Who doth kno ht his own stillness refracts at the time of its projection? Who would suspect afterthought withot onciousness? The I, to be self prophecy-without a conglomeration of old clothes-is by a deliberaionpreious to will-to be noumenal; is anterior to time. Forgive? [i.e. to free from consciousness] Yea a tousand times! so that the desire become large and insane enough to self-will. How can memoy foret-whn we invented reaction? What is all bad memory-but morality? What is will but reaction-ipulsedfrom te accidents of I?"
Then Aaos remembered he had conditioned his realization by thought of time and remarked:
"So ends in the part sexuality-all asses' magic that premeditates time. Much thought destroys the ne. The arcana knows more than the I wills: and thus should I have it."
Then Aaos laughed aloud and spoke:
"Up! Up! my sexuality! and be a light unto all-that is in me!"
For he had-while contemplating-eluded his I and knew he would shortly obtain . . . And thus he foundnew use for his righteousness.
SELF-LOVE AND MAP MAKING
Aaos in his youth had many dreams, pleasing and otherwise; awake and in his sleep. Frequently, fragms of dreams haunted him for many a day, but they were of his marriage bed. After his divorce he slp lone with his sword. Aaos, once dreamed he was till asleep, and this was his dream:
"He had been exploring an unknown country and having returned, was busy making maps from his rough sches and memoranda. He was surprised how fresh was his memory of every questioned detail, at the es ith which his hand drew the mountains and contours of that unknown country. His dexterity becameto peasing and threatened an event long ceased and then forgotten."
By his determination he awoke and was able to calm the excited passion. He was consoled that nothinad happened. Then he spoke to himself thus:
"What new deceit is this? Must I be for ever solving the changing symbolism of the wretched moralitylled 'I'? Do I still need a loin cloth for my passions? Verily, to be alone and map drawing is nowa nsafe art! Sleep?-This sexual excitement still obtains. Procreation is with more things than womn.Th function of the sexuality is not entirely procreation: stranger experiences are promised thaneve imgination conceived! One must retain-to give birth to will. Behold! my Self-love, thee I pleaure oo wll,-to let slip into other being!"
AAOS AND THE UNDERTAKER
One dark night, leaving the tavern more or less sober and wandering without thought, I arrived at a l illuminated undertaker's shop. Intoxicated, I am always curious of the work in such places-so heeIpaused. At that moment, the door was flung violently open and five drunken undertaker's assistans urhed into me. I objected in a mild way, they being numerous and I thinking that drunkards are lcky. .. But that any resistance or excuses I might offer would be unsatisfactory was too apparent.Theyhad eached the quarrelsome state and I discovered-I knew these men too well! From argument to oul acusatons [and what did they not call me?]-came blows-I thought it safer not to run away. Did fightwell? know they did and with drunken humour dragged me into the shop to purchase a coffin. ithin, ame recgnition-Alas, too truly they knew me! From then no quarter was given. That drunken fght amon the dea and funeral furniture was hopeless for me.
I was robbed, stripped, spat upon, kicked and bound-what abuse did I not suffer? I think the humilian and blows rendered me unconscious! But, I was not to rest so easily-they soon brought me back tocnciousness for worse things . . . And I was told they had recently finished making my wife's coffn.Thy then forced me to view her dead body. Even in my pitiable state, I thought of the beauty of er orpe. Again, they reviled me because of her: she who, if I had not neglected her, would still b livng. , the whoremonger, betrayer of women, and arch-abnormalist. After much other insult; they old m-my fte. I was given the choice of being burnt to death or buried alive with her! Naturally m choic was t be alone. But no such chance was to be mine. I was buried alive with her corpse. Withtheir cmbined eight forcing on the lid. I thought I was dead [for did I not hear the rushing winds] when dubt crep into my soul. Then realization of life dawned when I felt that cold corpse crushe against y body bythe tightness of the coffin,-never have I realized such horror! With a mighty yel, my afte suspiratin burst that overcrowded coffin into fragments! I arose, thinking I was alone.But no, siting by the orpse, amid the debris was-the devil grinning! To be alone and half alive wih the devil s not a welcme anti-climax ... Then he spoke unto me:
"Coward! where was thy courage, even against drunken enemies? Ah ah! Thou hast indeed willed pleasurWho has the power, Thou or I? What medicine for the dead Gods! Thou wretched scum of littlenesses-elthy gaping wounds, thou art more fitted to pray than to prey."
Much more did he utter, till my very ears closed. With a body torn to pieces, crushed in every part-t was I to answer? My silence compelled him again to speak:
"Hast thou no complaint?"
In a mighty rage-for this was a worse goad than all my earlier suffering-I answered:
"Curses, no! keep your possessions.-I will pleasure. Do your utmost! this poor thing my body you wilgain replace!"
Then I fought the devil and behold,-I became alone! What happened? I, in my miserable plight, not evmy teeth left-how could I have conquered the devil? Did I become a succubus? Perhaps-I became the ei? But this I know-I did will pleasure. And from this day shall smile in all men's faces. Then Aas woe and murmured:
"Belief and desire are the great duality which engender all illusions that entangle the senses [i.e.xuality] and prevent free will. What is all accidental suffering but reaction from dead loves now eoe diableries. How much are we sensible of body? Yet the composition of the body is its relationsipbeween consciousness and all creation. Without doubt I am now an-undertaker!"
THE DEATH OF TZULA
In his sleep Aaos one day met his sister Tzula and learned she was thinking of marriage and she quesned him thus:
"My most loved brother, what is your opinion of entering marriage? I would be guided by your experie and cunning on sexual matters. My body is weak from desire and suffers a horrible restlessness thtsrprises my habits of virginity."
Aaos answered:
"What cause is there for astonishment? This life force acts and invents from itself; even when the ul channels of expression are open. How much more so-when closed and the nature non-moral? With decies, one may well promise and not fulfil for this end, that with a double will there shall be satifatin without the labour of birth. Resist not desire by repression: but tranmute desire by changin tothegreater object."
Tzula answered:
"Alas! this dreadful thing of desire seeks its liberation in willing opposite to all my efforts of ciliation: Cannot marriage be my emancipation?"
Aaos answered:
"O my sister, must thou become ever smaller from thy small desires? Oh! renounce half-desiring, muchtter is it to marry the evil. For thee my sister, I wish no marriage but the marriage of the greatrlve. For I announce, the day to come, yea it is nigh, thy absorption in a male incarnation. What s atre but thy past will incarnated and removed from consciousness by its further desires? The reltioshi still living provokes the involuntary purpose-thy opposition to which causes disease, and i butresitance of the I to the Self. Bind thy desire by attention on Thy love of desire-lest it wholy rus awa. Prevent thy belief from incarnating through this consciousness of the ever present greter deire. Frestall the inclinations of desire by this and not by other means of exhausting desire Neithe abstinnce nor over indulgence necessarily destroys. Verily, my sister I would have thee a ale incanation."Then he became sleepy his sister becoming dim and the dream more meaningless, till he felt somethingat made him start with horror-awaking he perceived someone leave his couch! Aaos seizing his swordgahing his teeth, trembling in every limb, and with ghastly visage, shouted:
"Alpha and Omega! Thou thyself shall throttle that which thou wouldst surpass," And swung his sword ch struck horribly . . .
Then shaking the perspiration from his head he muttered to himself;
"Verily! again am I the pitiable moralist, the drowsiest of watchman. Sisters were ever deceivers! Avirgins are foolish; What does their virginity matter?"
Then clasping his sword again he went to his couch and tried to rest but no sleep came, until daybre for he wondered who his sister was.
THE BUTCHER OF THOSE WHO FOLLOW
In a dream, Aaos one day crossed the border line and wandered into the flat country towards what see, in the half-rain, a deserted heap of ruins. Arriving closer to the city, there issued from it a raful stench accompanying agonizing groans. Entering the gates Aaos found it a vast slaughterer's bator; an endless shambles of dying bodies tied in sacks. The black mud of the streets was streamig bood the carnal houses bespattered-the very atmosphere pulsating agony; the grey sky reflecting ts rd. Hlding his nose and stopping his ears Aaos walked on . . . Then he paused and his frightene eyeswatchd the work of slaughter and he observed that every victim was already beheaded, but not ead, tat the were sheep and being bled to death.
As he watched the mass of writhing corpses in that foul Bedlam of death groans-made more loathsome bhe ribald jesting of the slaughtermen, the scene became more vast, more heathenly impossible, whenh oticed towering before him a giant shape with gory sheepskin used as loincloth, who, with a shril oie shouted:
"Woe unto you that seek this awful place of satiety. I am the guardian named Necrobiosis, in order t there may be mobility!"
Then seeing Aaos he laughed hideously, and addressed him thus:
"But why cometh Aaos in the close season? Thou old dodger of Time, thou eye winking at all things! Fthou canst will love in that which is most repulsive. Away O Aaos, Thou too art an arch-slaughtere fsheep. "
Then the giant gave an awful grimace and turned his back, snapping his teeth and howling like a dog.coming larger and larger till of cosmic vastness, thus he disappeared.
When Aaos awoke, he muttered to himself:
"Beyond time there is a sensation as of awaking from the utmost impossibility of existence from the dreams we call reality; the stupidities we call will."
Then Aaos arose to fill his lungs with fresh air and have the good of motion.
ON THE ANNOUNCER OF GREAT EVENTS
One night, Aaos dreamed he was mournfully labouring his way uphill, through an endless ruin of citieThe streets were a chaos of debris-the air heavy with the stale stench of damp charred wood and moleng refuse. Nowhere saw he a sign of life-The sky was dead and breathless. Stumbling along till hs od sickened. Wearily he paused to rest and looking down, noticed the litter of a manuscript. Stopin, h chose the nearest fragment, and this was what he read:
"I too was once a mighty pleasure garden of all things that enchanted the senses; possessing men andmen of every desirable form and nationality. All the hidden treasures of nature were exhibited wit r and cunning accident. No desire could be ungratified. . . . What am I now? A putrid mess an dstof dead habitations. An empty wine skin destroyed and gone rotten! O, stranger, what is the case f m desolation?"
Aaos, sitting down, mused long to himself:
"When the very ground beneath one's feet collapses, what is secure? What chance of escape- but fore-wledge? Would the study of grammar, or correct pronounciation of language, save one?"
While he was thus meditating, suddenly he was afraid and gave a start. For beside his shadow grew aner shadow. And when he looked round, there stood before him an illuminated youth who said:
"Awake Aaos, This sorry ruin thou didst cause by thy greater love. All these pleasures were but drea which awoke too violently. What is all sexuality but the infinite synonyms of Self-love; self cretdand destroyed? These pleasures now dead, suppressed their own antecedent indulgence by afterthouht o women. All original thought, once suppressed becomes volcanic."
Aaos, winking his eye, answered:
"When asleep, one should procreate in barren soil?" at which they both smiled.
After they had surveyed each other, Aaos arose and left the youth. Surmounting an eminence he searchthe sky long, until he observed the faint glow of the sun struggling through the mists, he spake tu:"Abstinence from righteousness by total indiscrimination, becomes limitlessness. O Sun! like thee, Io will kiss all things and sleep alone, so that they propagate my ecstasy!"
Awaking Aaos remembered his purpose, and spoke to his heart:
"The arcana of desire [i.e. Self-love] would be satisfied with none but its original Self-by the uni. Thus my morality taught me by dream symbols. As in life, so in sleep-all things have a sexual sinfcance, hidden by righteousness. Herein is a mystery and the means to will. What is all humanity uton's own forgotten deliberation-becoming restless? The unexpected bark of a dog should not frighen.Neiher is medicine taken by pronouncing the name of the remedy. Verily, in the time of cataclys it s to late to pick the right word."
THE DREAM THAT CAME TRUE
One night Aaos was pleasured with this dream:
In his early youth, he met a beautiful maiden-famous among men who knew perfection. She was everythidesirous, even to her name. He became her lover, and knew her . . . to be true. But an evil voice pk unto him and he doubted her, believing the voice-because it was of one he had made his friend. n ouh-like rage he cast aside his lover and wandered into marriage of every kind, without satisfacion Thn the evil voice died. For years Aaos wandered restlessly seeking, but never finding his los lov: thnking they were both in Hell.
Then in his utmost weariness and despair, he thought much more deeply; and at last realized that theeam was the time for magic. And then he willed . . . With the new moon his wish was materialized adaain he met his first and only love. Their hearts being still virgin, Aaos spoke unto her:
"Out of Chaos have I awaked and found thee, O beloved. Death itself shall not part us; for by thee ae will I have children."
And they married and were ecstatic thereafter: for in their ecstasy he noticed Death smile.
Aaos then awoke still living their ecstasy, and breathing heavily, spake to himself thus:
"When the thing desired is again incarnated at the time of ecstasy; there can be no satiety. ONE! wew part. All things are possible with the original belief, once again found. The belief, simultaneoswth the desire, becomes its parallel and duality ceases. When ecstasy is transcended by ecstasy, heI ecomes atmospheric-there is no place for sensuous objects to conceive differently and react. Vril, geater will has no man than to-jest in ecstasy: retain thyself from giving forth thy seed of ife.
Aaos rising from his couch-threw away his sword and exclaimed aloud:
"Now for reality!"
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