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The Mighty Truths of Azlum; a must- read!
Ian Tom Noone presents... October 24, 1995
year of the moon
/////////////////////////
- The Mighty -
- Truths -
/////////////////////////
"My mother gave birth to a child; I gave birth to me."
-Pariah the wasted
So, you've read about the knyghts, monks, temple, and the basis of the religion?
Well, if you've made it this far you're probably thirstin' for some REAL
wisdom and guidance. We here at Azlum understand the human need for guidance.
That is why we have compiled a haphazard collection of tidbits and wisdomic
passages. Enjoy.
Q&A session:
"Hey, mister Azlum, I'm concerned about the Christian Coalition's
heartless, shitty approach to abortion. How do you feel about this
touchy subject?"
Well, kid, abortion is a touchy subject these days. We at Azlum believe
that life doesn't start until the baby is out of the mother and the tube
is cut-that's when the all important INDIVIDUALITY starts. Therefore,
abortion is just fine so long as it is voluntary, safe, and sanitary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why don't you like guns, mister Azlum?"
Well, hick, guns are synonamous with many things which Azlumites don't
like. You see, INDIVIDUALITY is very important to us and guns are just
another wall for people to hide behind-just like society. People who
bring guns to school just can't stand up for themselves, they need an
inanimate object to channel there agression through. We do condone melee
weapons since they require will, strength, and murderous intent. Of course,
you can use a gun while in Azlum since in this age it is hard to
defend the streets with the knyghtly sword.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What is the individuality I hear about, mister Azlum?"
INDIVIDUALITY is the magical essence that makes me not only different
from you, but superior also. By being an individual we shrug off the
weights, restrictions, and dues of those groups of which we shouldn't
belong. Christiantity is based on strength in numbers: you sell your
soul to an uncaring God and receive the support of tight-collared
assholes in return. By expressing our free will and overcoming the
limitations of our environment we show our INDIVIDUALITY.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You sound like you hate all Christians, mister Azlum."
Hell no! No Azlumite hates a person for belonging to a certain group,
except for shit like the KKK and such. We believe that people should
hate other people on a purely personal basis, that way the hatred is
stronger and purer. True, we disagree and are annoyed by many Christians,
especially the hard-core type. However, we don't HATE them.
Azlum preaches tolerance and love towards all people, things, and
creatures until you have reason to hate them-then we preach swift
and powerful revenge or action. True, this sounds violent and almost
like a Clintonic waffle but I am sure we can all see the true logic
in this belief. If you can't its a wonder you've gotten this far!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I want to join Azlum but you and your friends are impossible to find,
mister Azlum."
True, we are reclusive fellows. If you get an urgin to do some purgin
of your soul then find as many BBS sites as you can and set up bulletins.
Get others interested and form a 'chapter' of sorts in the book of Azlum.
You could become a priest of Azlum by spreading the word. If you do happen
to find us somewhere in Cyberspace then don't hesitate to drop us a line.
Not many of us can get onto the Internet at regular intervals right now,
however, in the future I will be all over the damned net.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How do you feel about technology and Cyberspace, mister Azlum?"
I am so glad that you asked! Azlumites are of course allowed to carry
a personal opinion but as a religion we feel that technology can
help us greatly. We embrace the creation of Cyberspace and eagerly
await the day that it truly becomes William Gibson's consensual
hallucination.
Many of the founding members are actively promoting/creating VR
programs and utilities. Others of us are studying technology and
society and the such. As I've said before: it all depends on your
opinion and your INDIVIDUALITY.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Is there a high and mighty leader of Azlum?"
The founding members are myself(Ian Tom Noone), Pariah the Wasted,
Moebius(he has retired due to confusion of his handle), and
the Wandering Soul. There is also another who has been quoted in an
early essay but who wishes to remain nameless for the moment.
If you need to know one name that stands above the rest then use
Mathius the Founder. Most of the time you should just refer to him
as The Founder. He is to be revered for his wisdom and feared for his
diseased mind-but such is the dichtomy of Azlumic followers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How do you feel about RPG's and cards like Magic: The Gathering?"
I think they're fun and harmless. You either think they are fun or not.
End of discussion.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yea, but don't you think they're satanic?"
No, nothing is satanic to me. Azlumites don't believe in Satan, dickweed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"But my preacher said that they're satanic. Isn't he right?"
Take a breath, let it out. Now...THINK FOR YOURSELF, DAMMIT!!!
And stop wasting my time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What is your view on homosexuality, mister Azlum?"
The church of Azlum smiles upon homosexuality and bisexuality. Modern
fear of these groups is caused by ignorance and bigotry-we transcend
that. We feel that you should love whomever you want and should
culminate that love in whatever way you feel right-so long as it is
mutual.
We at Azlum would never judge somebody on the basis of sexuality. That
is an INDIVIDUAL choice, a way of love, not a disease.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How do you feel about drugs?"
We at Azlum believe that those drugs which do not injure the body, which
includes most, are a good thing. If a drug is used as an escape from the
world, if a person is pushed into using drugs-then they become a tool of
evil and disease.
In this modern age of insidious danger we urge caution. Needles can carry
the AIDS virus and other diseases. Know the source, know the sideaffects,
know the consequences, and then decide for yourself.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Gee, thanks for this insightful discussion, mister Azlum."
No problem, kid. As Azlum grows and the world is frightened by the
danger of a new cult we will depend on good people like you to spread
the word that Azlum isn't a dangerous cult. We are just people like
you who have become enlightened to the lies of a purely political
church and who have heard the dying screams of too many Ethereal
Suns.
========================================================================================
I hope that mock-interview has helped some of you understand my religion
in a more meaningful sense.
Important:
SpReAd this file everywhere, please, Please, PLease, PLEase, PLEAse,
PLEASe, PLEASE!
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