|
|
 |
|
|
|
register |
bbs |
search |
rss |
faq |
about
|
|
|
meet up |
add to del.icio.us |
digg it
|
|
|
|
Santa's Clothes!
Santa's Clothes
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Prior to the 1680's, Santa wore anything that was warm. Some years his
clothes were made up of reindeer hair and were brown; some years he wore
cotton and wool, and his clothes were white.
But early in the 1680's, Santa realized he needed a trademark, so people
would know it was him coming down their chimney, and not some robber.
Since that time he's worn the same clothes every year -- though he usually
reserves the red overcoat and the red hat for his Christmas rounds.
As might be imagined, Mrs. Santa has a real laundering chore when Santa
gets back from his Christmas rounds. Each chimney he goes down makes him
progressively dirtier, though his outer clothes are specially designed to
absorb soot so he doesn't track it all over everybody's houses. But by the
time he's done his clothes are filled in every thread and seam and fiber.
Mrs. Claus cleans the clothes using a very simple, though effective, method:
she lays them outside and lets the snow build up on them. By the spring
thaw (such as there is at the North Pole), the clothes are fresh and clean
again, ready to wear!
CLOTHES DESCRIPTION:
Santa's Special Vest
____________________
All of Santa's clothing is special, but his vest is particularly so. He
acquired his vest long before any other part of his outfit, and it's the
only article of clothing that he hasn't needed to replace.
Long ago, when Santa was still young, he was able to do a great favor for
a group of tribesmen in Afghanistan. He literally saved their necks --
and in gratitiude they gave him a magic vest. "Keep this vest close to
your heart forever," they told him, "and it will serve you well."
Their promise has been fulfilled many times over. As the years have
passed, Santa has discovered all kinds of uses for his magic vest. For
example, it protects him against flying birds (even big ones) and violent
clouds. And recently he's discovered a particularly nice feature of the
vest's pockets. Although they look small, for some reaon they'll hold a
great deal of stuff. He puts them to good use. As he makes his Christmas
rounds he is given thousands of cookies and glasses of milk. It's too
much for even Santa to eat, but he can't refuse the gift. So he takes it
all with him. Into one vest pocket goes all the cookies. Into the other
goes the milk. After he gets home, and after the elves wake up from their
winter's nap, they enjoy cookies and milk through the whole summer! All
because of the Afghan vest!
Santa's Red Hat
_______________
Has white trim and white ball. The ball is not simply decorative, but
helps keep Santa's neck warm.
The Coat
________
Fur-lined inside. Santa explains he wears red "because it keeps the flies
and mosquitoes off. They don't like red." (Try it--it works!)
The Trousers
____________
Are soft leather and come from the Red Wooger. They are waterproof, which
is an urgent necessity when you're flying around outside in the winter. The
suspenders are more than for show, since Santa often forgoes the belt when
he's not dressing formally.
Santa's Underwear
_________________
Is made of elf hair. It took many seasons of haircuts to collect enough of
the hair -- but it was worth it.
The Belt
________
Made in the USA and donated by Smith Bros. Beltworks. Santa has worn the
same belt for 129 Christmases now.
Santa's Socks
_____________
Are made of virgin wool fro sheep raised in Argentina. Both the heel and
toe are reinforced.
The Boots
_________
Are fur-lined. In very cold weather Santa can fold the top of the boots up
over his calves to keep his legs warmer.
On anyone else, Santa's outfit would make the person look really silly. But
Santa isn't just anyone -- he's made the wardrobe into a symbol of happiness.
|
|
|
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.
totse.com certificate signatures
|
|
|
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
|
|
|
|
|
|
