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What does the Bible REALLY say about family values
FAMILY.TXT
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE REALLY SAY ABOUT FAMILY VALUES?
E. Pearlstein. Lincoln, NE
July, 1989
"Family values" is a catch phrase often used by some religious
groups, usually in a political setting. They imply that the Bible
advocates strength-of-family. Apparently they don't actually read
the book, as it would be more accurate to say that, on balance,
the Bible is ANTI-family.
The two statements often quoted as pro-family: "Honor thy father
and thy mother" (Exodus 20:12), and "What God has joined
together, let no man put asunder" (Matt. 19:6, Mark 10:9) become
just empty slogans when considered alongside the many specific
anti-family statements and actions countenanced in the Bible:
* Right from the beginning, the bearing of children is made a
punishment. "In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children" (Genesis
3:16); and later, "Woe unto them that are with child and to them
that give suck in those days". (Matt. 24:19, Mark 13:17, Luke
21:23. See also Luke 23:29.) Not encouraging words for a young
religious couple about to start a family! I thought that "family
values" meant for children to be a blessing, rather than a curse.
* Abraham actually started to kill his young son, because the god
told him to, and that's presented as a virtue (Genesis 22:1-12,
James 2:21). Hardly a good example of parental devotion and
protectiveness! Even today we sometimes have people told by the
god to kill their children, and they do it; it happened here in
Lincoln a decade or so ago. And it's not at all uncommon to read
of parents refusing medical care for their deathly-ill child
because of some biblical passage.
* Abraham's wife Hagar and their child Ishmael got booted out into
the wilderness, for no reason except that his other wife, Sarah,
was jealous (Genesis 21:14). The Bible shows no criticism, and
Abraham and Sarah continued to prosper.
* Most of us would say that incest is against the interests of the
family. Yet Lot, whom the Bible considers to be a very good man,
had sex with his two daughters (Genesis 19:33-36); and there was
no punishment for either Lot or the daughters. Indeed, it might
well be argued that Lot must have had divine help in this, since
he was able to perform sexually despite being both old and very
drunk! Of course, the poor girls had no mother to guide them,
because some time earlier the god got peeved and killed her
(Genesis 19:26), along with the two men who were engaged to marry
the daughters (Genesis 19:14).
* In order to gain favor with a king, Abraham said that his wife
was his sister, and offered her to the king for sex. This
happened twice (Genesis 12:11 and Genesis 20:2). Isaac did a
similar thing (Genesis 26:6). And Lot (Genesis 19:8) once offered
his virgin daughters to be used by a mob at Sodom. (St. Peter
called Lot a "righteous man", 2 Peter 2:8)
* Jacob tricked his own brother Esau of his inheritance (Genesis
25:31-33). Then he lied to his dying father about it (Genesis
27:19). And the god loved Jacob and hated Esau, the victim
(Malachi 1:3, Romans 9:13).
* The last of the plagues brought upon the Egyptians was the death
of all their first-born children, because "The Lord hardened the
heart of Pharoah" (Exodus 9:12, 10:1, 10:20, 10:27, 11:10).
Couldn't he have SOFTENED Pharoah's heart and spared all those
innocent children? Maybe Egyptian families don't matter.
* Jesus ridiculed his own mother in public: "Woman, what have I to
do with thee?" (John 2:4) This, of course, was a direct violation
of the commandment about honoring one's parents, which Jesus said
he agreed with (Matt. 15:4 and several other places). On another
occasion he refused to see his mother and brothers, answering
their request with a wisecrack (Matt. 12:46-50). And when someone
praised Mary, Jesus disagreed (Luke 11:27-8).
* Although half of a family consists of women, the Old and New
Testaments have enough approved-of degradation of women to make a
book on that subject. (Woe to the Women - The Bible Tells Me So,
by Annie Laurie Gaylor, 1981)
* Jesus promised his followers great rewards if they would desert
their wives and children (Matt. 19:29). And in the old testament
too, it was good for men to "put away their wives" (Ezra 10:19).
* Jesus says very clearly that anyone who wants to be his disciple
must hate his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and
sisters (Luke 14:26).
* And then there is: "For I am come to set a man at variance
against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the
daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall
be they of his own household" (Matt. 10:35-36). Does it indicate
a pro-family attitude of Jesus, when such things are the reason
for his coming? Is this a sample of the "good news" some
evangelists keep proclaiming?
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