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A list of known phrases for masturbation
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
MASTURBATION
Backstroke roulette Bash the candle
Beat off Beat the bishop
Beat the meat Beat the dummy
Beat the stick Bleed the weed
Blow your load Bludgeon the beefsteak
Bop the bolgney
Buff the banana Burp the worm
Butter the corn Choke the chicken
Choke the sherrif and wait for the posse to come
Clean your rifle Crank the shank
Crown the king Cuff the carrot
Diddle Drain the monster
Fist fuck Fist your mister
Five against one Flog the dog
Flog the hog Flog your dong
Flute solo Fondle the fig
Gallup the antelope Give it a tug
Grease the pipe Hack the hog
Hand job Hand work
Have it off Hitchhike under the big top
Hump your hose Jack hammer
Jack off Jazz yourself
Jerk off Jerk the gherkin
Loop the mule Make tye bald man puke
Manipulate the mango Manual override
Milk the lizard
Nerk your throbber Oil the glove
One man show
Pack your palm Paddle the pickle
Paint the pickle Paint the walls
Peal the carrot
Please your pisser Plunk your twanger
Pocket pinball Pocket pool
Polish the rocket Polish the sword
Pound off Pound your flounder
Pound your pud Pull off
Pull the pole Pull the pope
Pull your taffy Pump the python
Ram the ham Ride the great white knuckler
Rope the pony Shaking hands with the unemployed
Shine your pole Shoot putty at the moon
Slam the hammer Slammin' the salami
Slappin' pappy Slapping the clown
Slingin' jelly Snap the monkey
Snap the whip Spank the frank
Squeeze the lemon Strokin' it
Stroke off Stroke your poker
Tease the weasle Tenderize the meat
The five knuckle shuffle Toss the turkey
Thump the pump Tickle your pickle
Toss off Walk the dog
Wank Wax the dolphin
Wack off Whip the dummy
Whip your dripper Whizzin' jizzim
Wonk your conker Wrestle your eel
Wring out your rope Yank off
Yank the crank Flogging the frog
Mangling the midget Choking Ko Jak
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