|
70 Sexy Things You Can Do For Him Today
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
SEVENTY SEXY THINGS
YOU CAN DO FOR HIM TODAY
(Graham Masterton, author of "How To Be The Perfect Lover
lists seventy sexy things that you can do for a man)
1. Wake him up at 3 A.M. and suck his penis.
2. Show him how you masturbate.
3. Borrow a Polaroid camera and take some sexy pictures of him
and you together.
4. Pop a glace' cherry up your vagina and invite him to lick it
out.
5. Lick him all over.
6. Greet him at the door in a G-string and quarter-cup bra.
7. greet him at the door stark naked.
8. Shave all your pubic hair off (Some men do not like this so
coyly question him beforehand. It's also suggested that you
leave a thin strip of hair remaining at the very edge of the
lips as the stubble which grows back will feel like making
love through a piece of sandpaper).
9. Shave all of his pubic hair off (Suggest this first before
trying it).
10. Ask him to show you how he masturbates.
11. Make love standing up in the shower.
12. Try making love in the bathtub.
13. Open his pants and start playing with him while he watches TV.
14. Insist that he makes love to you before you'll let him go to
work.
15. Ring him up at the office and say suggestive things to him.
16. Tuck an explicit nude photograph of yourself into his jacket
pocket, and let him discover it at work.
17. Buy him a double-ended dildo and ask him whether he has any
ideas on what you could both do with it.
18. Buy a vibrator and demonstrate its effectiveness on his penis.
19. Make a plaster-cast of his penis and tell him you'll use it
whenever he's away.
20. Pack an erotic letter in with his sandwiches.
21. Buy a stack of pornographic magazines and take them to bed
with you.
22. Buy a vibrator and surprise him by pushing it up your own
bottom while he's making love to you.
23. Buy another vibrator and surprise him even more by pushing the
other one up his bottom while he's making love to you.
24. Buy him some sexy underwear-like G-strings and mini-briefs.
25. Ask him to take you to a dirty movie, strip show or topless
bar.
26. Ask him to take you to a motel and register as "mr. and Mrs
Smith."
27. Meet him from work dresses in nothing but your fur coat and
boots.
28. Buy him an erotic key ring with a winged penis on it.
29. Get him to drive you out to the country and ave sex in the
moonlight on the grass.
30. When he comes home in the evening, massage him with scented
oil, paying particular attention to his penis.
31. Read him a pornographic novel.
32. Insist that he walk around the house stark naked for a whole
day, and fondle him whenever you feel like it.
33. Walk around the house naked yourself for the whole day, and
tell him that you're his for the taking, whenever he wants.
34. See if you can get both of his balls into your mouth at once.
35. See if he can get the whole of your vulva into his mouth at
once.
36. Masturbate together, and whoever comes first wins a free
dinner.
37. See how far your tongue will go up his ass.
38. Buy him some ticklers-those fancy-shaped tips to fit over the
top of his pants-and insist that he demonstrate them.
39. Challenge him to make you reach an orgasm by stimulating your
breasts alone.
40. Perform a striptease for him, with suitably erotic music.
41. Buy him a Medi-Stretch-a kind of strap which lashes his penis
to his legs and gently masturbates him as he walks. Then see
if he isn't ready for you by evening-time.
42. Masturbate each other and see who can come first.
43. Masturbate him in the back of a taxi, and see if he can reach
a climax by the time the meter gets to $3.50.
44. Get him to masturbate you in the back of a taxi, and see if
you can reach a climax by the time the meter gets to $3.75.
45. Masturbate him in an elevator, and see if he can come by the
time you reach the 50th floor. (In buildings lower than 50
floors, you're allowed to travel up and down between floors.)
46. Have a drawing contest, to see which of you can draw the most
erotic picture. Then act out the winner's scenario for real.
47. Buy an inflatable sex doll each-a girl for him and a boy for
you-and take them to bed for a pneumatic foursome. Dolls cost
around $40 each, and these days almost all of them are
equipped with oral, anal and genital facilities.
48. Try to do better than Linda Lovelace, and take your partner's
penis right down your throat.
49. Let him tie you up for two hours so that you are totally
helpless, and allow him to do whatever he wants to you within
those two hours.
50. Tie him pu for two hours (borrow a Boy Scout manual if you're
not sure about the knots) and force him to submit to your
wildest desires.
51. Bite his nipples so hard that he screams.
52. Play Suggestive Scrabble-no nonsexual words allowed. Winner
is allowed to choose any erotic variation form the board, to
be played out for real.
53. Play Guess-the-Flavors. Rub some vanilla, strawberry, mint or
banana cooking flavoring on your vaginal lips, and ask him to
lick'n'guess. He's not allowed to make love to you until he
guesses right.
54. Go to a party without panties, and keep giving him erotic
flashes up your dress.
55. Make quick and furtive love in the house of a friend or
acquaintance. Preferably someplace where discovery could be
imminent.
56. Suck his penis while he's talking on the telephone to his
mother or boss.
57. Ask to hold his penis while he pees.
58. Invite him to ejaculate somewhere different on you every night
of the week for one week, and never the same place twice-
face, breasts, tummy, thighs, feet.
59. Make him carry you around the room (both naked) like a horse,
and whip him with a cane when he's slow.
60. Kiss him and tell him you love him.
61. Cook him a terrific dinner and serve it to him wearing nothing
but stacked shoes.
62. Invite him to see how many quarters he can get inside your
vagina (sterilized first, in boiling water). The rule is that
you can keep as many as you can walk away with.
63. Try a new sexual position, no matter how outrageous or
bizarre, every night of the week for one week.
64. If there's a lake or pool close by, go skinny dipping by
moonlight.
65. Challenge him to make love to you five times in one night (but
don't give him a hard time if he can't).
66. Buy him an erotic magazine.
67. Ask him to buy you any item of clothing that he's like to see
you wearing, and promise to wear it. Be prepared for anything
from a shred of elastic, lace and nylon, to rubber waders or
scarlet silk panties.
68. Play strip poker.
69. Tell an erotic so try between you, taking it in turns to
relate each incident.
70. Kiss him and tell him you love him again.
|
|
