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50 Ways To Excite Your Lady
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
FIFTY WAYS TO EXCITE
YOUR LADY
Here are some suggested ways to excite the lady in your life
this evening:
1. Telephone her at work and tell her how much you want to take
her clothes off and make slow passionate love to her.
2. Pick her up at work, take her straight home, and straight into
the bedroom.
3. Arrange to meet her at an unfamiliar hotel. Tell her that
you'll be waiting for her in room 303 (or whatever) naked.
4. Invite her out for dinner, but insist that she wear stockings
and garters and no panties.
5. During dinner, discreetly slide your hand up her skirt.
6. Bathe her, soaping her as intimately as you like.
7. Dry her, and shower her with talk. Then take her to bed and
give her cunnilingus until she reaches an orgasm.
8. Give her cunnilingus while she's watching TV.
9. Ask her what her strongest erotic fantasy is, and offer to
play it out for her.
10. Ask her to wear stockings and high-heeled shoes to bed.
11. Tie her wrists and her ankles with scarves, and rouse her to
orgasm without having intercourse with her.
12. Kiss her, lingeringly, all over.
13. Suggest that she tie you up and do anything she likes with
you.
14. Take her out into the backyard (or anywhere secluded in the
open air) and make love to her under the stars.
15. Give her cunnilingus immediately after intercourse, until she
reaches another orgasm.
16. Tell her you love her.
17. Let her hold your penis while you urinate.
18. Take her out dancing. Hold her close and tell her how much you
want to make love to her.
19. Cover your bed in fresh-cur flowers.
20. Have a crackling fire for her when she comes home.
21. Tell her all about your most arousing erotic fantasy.
22. Take a home-video of your woman naked. Tell her to let herself
go, to express herself any way she likes. Then make love to
her while you play it back.
23. Ask her to show you how she likes to have her clitoris
caressed.
24. Caress it for her, until she climaxes.
25. Slide your fingers into her vagina, and give her the internal
massage of her life.
26. Kiss and caress her breasts for at least five minutes.
27. Buy yourself some new designer underwear.
28. Buy yourself some new smart clothes.
29. Write her a letter, mostly romantic but also a little erotic,
telling her how much your life has changed since you met her.
30. Buy her perfume, a necklace, any unexpected gift. Make it
expensive. Send it for no reason at all except that she turns
you on.
31. Buy her some beautiful silky underwear.
32. Give her an all-over massage with scented oil. Pay special
attention to her breasts and to he vulva. Don't make love to
her unless she asks you to.
33. Make love to her at unexpected times. halfway through the
afternoon. Out driving in the country. At work, anywhere.
Don't take ulp! for an answer.
34. Rent an erotic video and watch it together with a bottle of
good red wine.
35. Shave, shower, and be waiting for her when she comes back from
work, wearing nothing but a towel.
36. Leave your office halfway through the day, drive home, and
make love to her.
37. Ask her to shave off her pubic hair (except at the very edge
of the lips to reduce abrasion as it grows out).
38. Shave off yours.
39. Make a deal that whatever she asks you to so sexually, you'll
do. and, in return, she has to do whatever you ask.
40. Make yourself late for work; make love to her one more time
before you leave.
41. Ask her to masturbate herself to orgasm so that you can watch.
Tell her that you'll do the same for her.
42. Make love in front of a mirror.
43. Buy her something personal that you know she's always wanted.
A painting, a book, a record, an exercise cycle, whatever.
44. Wake her up first thing in the morning by licking her vulva.
45. Ask to watch her taking a pee.
46. Take her to a topless joint or a strip club.
47. Drive her someplace quiet and make love to her in the back of
the car, just like you used to.
48. Dip your cock in champagne and ask her if it improves the
flavor.
49. Kiss her and caress her and see how many orgasms you can give
her.
50 Tell her you love her. Tell her that she turns you on.
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