Personal Note 2

by telu mehtar

Somewhere on a highway in Germany

16:34 Personal note:

The road is lined with windings; the mad complexity of the trees passing by is changing my feelings… The pattern of the grass is hard to discover. The fields are like wild horses running towards me… they are drowned in all hues of the green. And what about the trees? Here and there scattered like lonely warriors, they’re like a herd raging bulls. Bushy and straight, naked or clothed in green armour…

They are proud.

We are the losers on the long run.

They’re trying to touch the sky and we to satisfy our primal complexes.

The clouds are hanging like magical carpet above the earth. Curled by the shiny wind.

I see you, you big monster! I see your smoking throat facing the sky, wishing to dim the stars, you power plant! Are we playing God? Where are we? Not a step ahead of our ancestors in our mental evolution, and ready to play the Maker, ready to clone ourselves, to create AI without even knowing what is Mind.

Why are we so proud with being so stubborn? So handicapped not to see the Truth in ourselves. I’m now on a trip leaving Germany to reach my family. Sometimes I feel sad to see the people so indifferent to other man’s grief. So closed in their own world, so institutionalised. I don’t want to become a product of this society. I don’t wanna sell myself! To dissolve my soul in the coming waves! To touch the hearth of the sea, to become one with it, to feel every fish like myself, not that I’m like the fishes ‘cause I don’t speak too much, it’s just this feeling. Although I’ve always feared water, I’ll touch it someday with my lips. I’ll return to the source and will drink from it. To kill my thirst, to demolish the ‘I’, to sink my ego in oblivion. We die every moment of our lives but we don’t understand it. It’s just like playing with numbers without seeing what’s behind them. Like living in the moment of our death. Cause death is an adviser, as one shaman once said to one materialist. I know that. The most precious advisor.

I didn’t ask death a question, but it made me see Truth once, I saw it in death’s eyes, the most deep endless I’ve ever seen. The eyes of infinity. I’ve learned the lesson: there is no life and no death; they both ‘re one and the same thing. This great advisor thought me that the only real thing, the only important, truthful and worth living, thing is the one that does not loose it’s life when touched from the cold hand of death. That wont become colourless, or loose its importance after this proud encounter. There are many such things and all of them and I mean all of them are not of the material world. The first one that I saw through my experience was the smile. Sharing your smile with others and with yourself is the gate leading to freedom.

O, fallen warrior! Overcome your terror, the greatest you’d ever experienced! Get up! Give death your smile, and you’ll be given the most natural beautiful and warm smile in your life!

Falling as I walk, I try to fly. Why not? When there is nobody to help me stand on my feet? Why shouldn’t I try to reach the sky to touch the stars, those beautiful eyes… more beautiful and distant than my dreams? Live telling the truth in the eyes without regrets. Never regretting trust your feelings your intuition.

Where is the root of all evil? No my friend there is no evil, no good, no white, no black. So why are people hurting each other? They are not real that’s the point. Phantoms. I’m not real as well. The turning point where my shadow will merge to existence is still ahead. How faraway is not of my concern. My hope is that I’ll found enough power to walk on the rough way. The way of Freedom.

Strange are the ways of Fate, Karma or whatever you want to call it. To be free one must escape the designs of Fate.

What counts is not when you help a friend when you can, but when you cannot. To give yourself when it hurts, no matter how much. To disturb your inner peace in order to make other people feel good when they need it. Everything else is not worth mentioning. Sacrificing yourself in the name of others is living.

Flow like a river, free from boundaries, regardless of walls in front of you, little by little, step by step break through hills, delve deep canyons in the mountains and finally reach the sea. Join the inexpressible