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Pen Cap Chew Issue #11
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the slot for souls and quarters
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Being dead and being kewl. Which is better?
Inside:
1: i'd rather be dead than kewl Death and accecptance? which is the better choice?
Let's all face the truth. Conformity is a buldegon that slams us all. some of us get the messageut the message we're getting... should we listen to it?
No. In my opinon a lot of "kewl" people where I live get wasted every night, have really xpensive gurs( which of course, they can't play worth shit), all listen to their "punk" music, and all read Rlig Stone. This is scary.
First off, most of these kids play guitar like shit. They say"yeah, Johnson I can play" and then whI hear them, they play "teen spirit".
"Can you play anything else," I ask.
"No," the kewl guy says
"You suck," I say. A lot of these guys make fun of me and even some of the teachers for using altere tunings, running skrewdrivers up and down the neck of my guitar, agitating the pickups w/ drillsadskill twists. I guess they consider being closed minded really kewl too.
Why would you want to be closed minded and listen to crappy music and be homophobic just to have pee like you. A bunch of rednecks always said I was gay and I got really harassed about it and final just kissed a guy. I was a reject forever. But I did find something else out about myself. But hyth accecptence for these things? Who dictates all this?
I could say MTV and end the article here or just put in the trash, but let's dig a little deeper. Ypunks and indies, I am the Sigmund Freud of the digizines. Maybe because they're really insecure. hnyou go somewhere and you don't know anyone, it's really easy to bulid a wall around your self an at eally nhilistic and pretend you hate everyone. Nobody wants to reveal anything. They just wantto aveno weaknesses, just seem kewl. So I guess showing a weakness is really punk nowadays. I realy ge sic when I see red meat, I think Labs are really cute, and I love flangers and fuzzboxes. Tha feel so mch better.
It probably is MTV, becasue all these dumbshit veejays are all really muscular. ALl the girls are ini clad and have big tits and allthses kids sitting at home feel really insecure. Then they go otad get their Stussy shirts and think they're kewl. Goddamn. They all want to be carbon copies of ac oher and that really sucks. They all listen to the same bands, think they're all friends and sht. I on't want to be kewl because kewl people are usually (by the way i don't think they're inferior)ntolrant, homophobic, insecure and often times too stupid to know that you can be yourself.
Your ass from a hole in the ground: a comparasion.
As usual, the article and the title have nothig to do with each other. Well in a way they do, becauthis is a list of "us and them." Of course this isn't all black and white. IE, Fugazi are walkingtethight rope between punk and capitalism. Theyy'r broke, but they take money from who'll ever wil gveit to them .They have their own label, but the records sell very well (and you can get then anwhee).But these are the people who are on the sides.
Us. Them
______________________________________________________________
Ian Mackaye | Dexter Holland
Bad Religon / Green Day
Thurston Moore | Dave Matthews
Courtney Love | Mary Lou Lord
moderate rock | Rolling Stone
William Burroughs | who ever writes those 'horror' books
Rancid | Candlebox
REM( they showed you that you | REM( Has anyone listenend to Automatic for
can maintain a healthy following on | the people, Monster, or Out of Time
an indie label | just what the big corporate radio ordered)
SST | CMC
Alias | certian Epitath records
Paul westerburg | Micheal Jackson
That kid who wanted MJ locked up | That 8 year old who put a shotgun in his mouth
| and said" look I'm Kurt cobain"
the Exploited | Better than Ezra
the Boredoms | Pouser Jam
Henry Rollins | Des' ree
Greg Ginn | Slash
bob mould | malcom mclearen( the Sex Pistols made a hell of a good ision to kick |out malcom and replace him with Sid
Steve Malkmus | Scott Litt
DIY | EMI
25 Things that just arent gonna happen
1. "Look Mom I got Straight A's"
2. Green Day comes on the radio and I don't change the station
3. Trent Reznor gets a life
4. I figure that my computer memory goes down because of the magnets stuck to it
5. I actually take the magnets off
6. "No I don't think I'll have another beer"
7. Ronald Regan wakes up and says," let's get this country in order"
8. Jay leno loses weight and gains a sense of humor
9. Our bass player, Nick, wants an amp that's a little softer
10. I buy the HIStory:past present and future vol.1 and really enjoy it
11. I buy the HIStory past present and furture vol.1
12. I stop laughing when I hear the name Dick Assman
13. Dan Quyale gets an A in spelling
14. President Tyson
15. Rush Limbaugh and Jenny Craig has a nice ring to it doesn't it?
16. Micheal Jackson and Lisa Marie have a kid
17. Micheal Jackson and Lisa marie
18. I actually learn to type "Lisa" right.
19. "Let's watch MTV"
20. "er"
21. I read one of Rush Limbaugh's books and it doesn't remind me of Hitler's "My struggle"
22. I read one of Rush's books and not get scared
23. Radio Free Europe
24. "Ladies and Gentelmen, the president of the united states, Mr. Marion Berry"
25. "Sonic Youth's new ablum, Washing Machiene, really sucks."
26. New Ben and Jerry's fat free
27. Newt Gringrich doesn't wear underware. ( that's why he didn't anwser the boxers or briefs questi I'm getting sick)
28. I go to skool and everyone's faveorite band is Husker Du
29. Senetor Ali
30. Lettermen for president
31.Militant hetrosexuals (oops! my mistake. We have Ted Nugent covering that already)
From the deranged mind of penkaps...
Usually I have this part in the end, but this is my zine and I can put it anywhere I damn well ple.
Now that we have that out of the way, let's chat. Okay, I write, you read. I love that TV nation sh It's almost as good as Cheers. Cheers is the best show ever. It did something new, it was funny adaove all, I got to see fat guys drink beer after beer and never show it. Except Fraiser. He wouldge tatlly plastered every once in a while.
There were a couple problems with the show. Nobody ever smokes in Cheers. That and Norm never gettidrunk even though he has a beer mugh surgically attached to his right hand. Norm was a ways a fav.
Then Cliff. So smart he's stupid. There was this one episode where Fraiser brings his group tro Che. These three little guys, very nervous, talking quitely amoungst themselves, being approched by Cif
"Do you live w/yr. mother," one guy asks
"Yeah," Cliff anwsers, suspicous
" And do you wear that mail uniform all the time," the same guy asks.
"What's it to ya," Cliff says.
"You're Mr.X, the deadbeat mailman," one says and they all laugh.
The other one that was really good was when Rebecca got stuck in the vent. Well, actually Carla scrd the grate cover in while Rebecca fixed the furnace, but she was stuck. For three days.
Cheers is also a love story in a demented way. Everybody wants somebody, everyone has a purpose. Reca wants Sam. Sam'll go for anyone. So will Carla, but only if he's scillian. Cliff wants Carla. Nr ants another beer. Woody wants Kelly. That guy that sits on Cliff's right wants to be included.
It's sad that Cheers got cancelled three years ago. But we should get on with out lives and live in lity. Husker Du rules.
Warning signs you're a cheerleader
1. You really relate to that rich grrrl advice column in moderate rock
2. You think green day is the best thing since fat free salad dressing.
3. Whenever someone who is wearing a shirt w/ a band you don't know about on it, you stay away.
4. If you have a bunch of Against animal testing shirts, but you have suede birkenstocks and to makere your lipstick was safe, they put a rat in a pillory.
5. 9PM? wow time to hit the sack
6. You center yr life around a guy who you only plan to go out w/ for 2 months.
7. you pronounce it fug- zai instead of fu-gazi.
8. You think punk is the best kind of music in the world, w/how cute billie joe is and all, but whenmeone lets you listento it on their walkman, you get toatlly scared.
9 If someone else gets it, you have to have it.
10. If you're under 19 and drive a car worth over 20,000.
11.You have at least two credit cards almost maxed out
12. the mall? your second home
13. You and Cher (from that clueless movie, clueless) could be friends if it weren't that damn conceof reality
14.this article offends you
15. To you, SST is a means of travel
16. You spend over two hundred dollars a week
17. You get straight A's but don't know how
18. you attempt suicide if you can't go to a dance
19. MTV is on twenty four hours a day
20. If you've come this far, congrads, yoiu are not a cheeleader. The most preppy and prissy type ofrson their is. I'm such a bigot:(
Husker Du Land Speed
Record
Before Sugar, Bob Mould was in a little band called Husker Du, with Grant Hart and Greg Norton.Theyre probably the best punk band ever to exist, except for the Dks and Black Flag. They were also a o ore talented that most on the hardcore scene at the time. Bob Mould could do two things on the gitr t once. He could play rhythm and lead at the same time. Which makes the Huskers sound like a fur iec rather than a three. Grant Hart is a human metronome. His playing reminds me of the sound o whe youhit seventy on 95 and you put your head to the ground. Kachunk- Kachunk-Kachunk-Kachunk. Peciseand fst. Greg, well keeping up with Grant is an accomplishment in itself. Dave Ghrol would no be abe to pay nearly as fast. Ahmead I-cant-spell-much-less-pronounce-his-last-name from Sick of t all mght be ble, but I doubt it.
The cover ovbiously makes them out to be a peace punk band. It has the coffins of soliders being sehome from battle on the plane. There's light in the farleft corner and I think the tall one is BobMud. The back has a SwissAir (Husker Du is a scandavian term, by the way) plane with the coffins lidinfront of it and the families mourning the loss.
The way the record sounds is pretty good for a bootleg, the only problem it Bob's singing. But he ms up for it in Zen Arcade and Metal Circus. The first song is "All tensed up" it's spazzing out puksng. The whole record sounds like a more purposeful "endless Nameless" The way the record is dneistrack one is about 8 songs pushed together and the second track is ten.
Usually live ablums have applause or a little chit chat inbetween songs. Not here. Husker Du give ynon stop sonic assult. As soon as one song would stop, 1-2-3-go, and Grant would start abusing hisdus again and Greg and Bob would wear their frets down. The only time you hear it is when the set r rak ends.The first one is Bob thanking his audidence either half-hearted or unexpectenly. The ohersid ends w/ "We'll be back to do another set." Which is where the Cd ends.
Land Speed Record includes tons of good things, and it's not w/out it's charm, but well, there's nouch to say about many of the songs. They're all really fast and sound like a Misfits record, but o an talk about "data control," which is the last song. A good place for this song would be in theNe, ob Mould screams," they know everything about you/ with a push of a button" yes, Bob Mould ca sceam Now, what makes Husker Du so timeless is exactly things like that. This came out in 1981, wen popleowning computers was still a far cry away. Kind of freaky. But If you're on the fringe abot Huser Dus music, I reccmond Zen Arcade or New Day Rising. This probably will only be enjoyed by ardcor Huske Du fans. But still, it's worth a listen and, well, it shows a diffenent side of them oo.
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