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Funny chain- letter will bring you good sex
WITH SEX ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
This paper has been sent to you for good sex. The original has been worn
out from having passed through the hands of so many people. It had
travelled around the world 71 times.
[Dear Reader: please help keep this count current. If this letter falls
into your hands after just completing one more circuit of the world,
please add one to the count.]
The luck with sex has now been sent to you.
You will experience great sex within four days of receiving this letter,
provided you send it on. Since the copy must tour the world, you must make
ten copies and send them to others. This is no joke. Send no money. Send
copies to people who need to get laid within 96 hours.
After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach Control Officer got his
penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and had the longest series of orgasms
of his life. John Elliot tried to pick up a prostitute, but, because he
broke the chain, was picked up by the police instead. When they searched
his home, they found magazines of little boys which they showed to his
neighbors. In a suburb of Paris, Don Loray's trousers were ripped by an
unsatisfied erection, 51 days after failing to circulate the letter.
However, before this happened, a condom machine gave him three condoms for
the price of one. (was this the consolation prize?)
Do note the following: Hebert Pudstrom received the chain in 1953. He
asked his secretary to make ten copies and send them out. A few days later
he encountered her in a red-light district making more than he had every
paid her at work. General George Patton, who sent the letter on, saw what
he thought was a quarter in the street. When he bent down to pick it up, a
beautiful woman in a miniskirt walked by, and he got a great view. Heywood
Daddit, an unemployed chicken choker, received the letter and forgot that
it had to leave his hands within 96 hours. His wife then went bowling with
his best friend and never returned. Later, after finding the letter again,
he mailed ten copies. A few days later he got a wife and discovered that
his old wife, who he thought was wonderful, had made love to him like a
dead salmon for all these years! Alan Fairchild received the letter and,
not believing, threw the letter away. Nine days later he spilled hot
coffee in his crotch.
In 1987 the letter received by a young woman in Texas was faded and barely
readable, so she did not realize that this paragraph applied to her. She
promised herself she would retype the letter and send it on, but she put
it aside to do later. She was plagued with problems including herpes and
other venereal diseases she contracted in her futile attempts to find Mr.
Right in a singles bar. The letter did not leave her hands in 96 hours.
She finally typed the letter and found a man with a 10-inch penis.
Beware however of the fate of the E-mail user at Trent University,
Peterborough ON, that sent this letter to himself over five thousand times
in one afternoon. Before leaving the computer lab a strange woman came up
behind him, bit his ear and put her hand down his pants. The ensuing
surprise caused him to stumble forward and cry out. As he attempted to
arrest his fall by grabbing a nearby PC, a gob of spittle that had been
flung from his mouth (as he cried out) landed deep into the inner recesses
of the computer, all three (student, strange woman and computer) then
experienced simultaneous Cyber-Orgasms of exponential intensity before
exploding in a puff of smoking data.
You must distribute at least ten copies within 96 hours of receiving this
letter. Those who do will find their love lives more fulfilling. Those who
do not will be doomed to one-night stands with mechanical devices.
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