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Convoluted Phraseology - Buzzwords by the numbers
Buzz Words by the Numbers
There is circulating in Washington, D.C., a "foolproof system for those
wishing to appear more learned than they are." It is called
"convoluted phraseology:
Here is how it works:
. When you need to "language up", select at random any
three-digit number.
. Look up the words associated with your number in the
table below (one digit per column).
Col. 1 Col. 2 Col. 3
0. integrated 0. management 0. options
1. total 1. organizational 1. options
2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability
3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. capability
4. functional 4. digital 4. programming
5. responsive 5. logistical 5. concept
6. optimal 6. transitional 6. time-phase
7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection
8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware
9. balanced 9. policy 9. contingency
For example, 379 produces "parallel incremental contingency." No
one knows what that means, but it sounds impressive.
Now, someone truly clever out there in Netland should develop a module
that can be integrated into any word processor so that when a specially
defined key is hit, the module will:
. Generate a three-digit random number,
. Reach into the table for the Buzz Words, and
. Insert the appropriate phrase into the document
being prepared.
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