Heroic AOL CD Destruction Guide

by Spirit Hero

Spirit Hero's File on fun things to do with AOL CD's!

DISCLAIMER:Try these methods on your own risk... If you injure yourself while performing these ideas then it was because your an idiot and you didnt follow the safety procautions that comes standard while dealing with some of these things... Again...If you injure yourself it's your own damn falt...Not mine!

This is my first file and it should be a good one!

Now most people know about those annoying little AOL cd's... Either you get them in your mail or you see them in humungous bunches at the counter of a local store...Each CD Contains a setup for the WORST isp Ever... And if your like most people you have probaly acumulated many of these over the years...Well the methods i have listed below are the prime choice for the maniac in us all...The ways listed will show you how to dispose of these little shits the way a pro does!

The BB torture!

Take one of the damn shitface cd's out to an open area...Maybe your backyard...Now make sure that you set the CD up in a place where objects can fly through it and not hit something behind it... Try to fashion some sort of stand or something to hold it upright. Now take a BB gun and take some shots at it... Very entertaining!...If your good enough and are a very good aim you can litterally scatter the CD shards everwhere with a few well placed hits.

Set it ablaze!

Now you can do this many ways... One of them is to set it real close to a flame like a candle. If you do it right you can warp the whole cd into a different shape ...I have made some that look like CD taco shells!

The other is to douse it in Gasoline,Alchohol,Nail Polish Remover... Anything that says that its extremly flammable... (with the Alchohol and Nail Polish Remover you may have to pour more on the flame to keep it going) And set the fucker ablaze!Talk about burning a cd!

Frizbee!!!

Damn these thing make great frizbees!(Not for two player play mind you!)You can throw these things like a frizbee and use them as a weapon...And if the damn thing breaks cause you threw it to hard or if you lose it(good going if you did break it!)You dont have to cry about it...

Hammer Time!

Now if your really into cruelty to AOL cd you can just hammer them with a hammer or some other blunt object...This is fun for taking out some frustration...

Baseball!

Here's a pretty fun one! Get a bat...A CD and throw the cd into the air and smack it far! It will probaly shatter into peices once hit but the peices go flying creating a funny scene!

Stoning!

Get a bunch of rocks or gravel and place the crap cd on a flat surface and stone it to death!

Mark it Up!

Get some permanent markers and Mark up the damn thing! Draw what you want!

Floor Ski!

Get two and put one under each of your shoes with the side with the data on the floor and have a sking good time on a smooth floor!

Drink Coaster

Damn...These things make great Drink Coasters! Simply Put the Cd Data Side up a table and place a drink on it and youve got an instant coaster!

Paintball It

Easy one...Paintball Gun + AOL CD=Phun

Non Destructive Ideas on how to make some cool Items out of the CD'S...

Ninja Stars

You want to be an urban ninja? Well you can easily convert an aol cd into a nice looking ninja star. Carefully cut of parts of the cd untill you have about four sharp ends that are even but leave the clear center thing with the hole intact. You can cut and alter it to be a four star or a six or if your really good an 8 star. Whatever you want to do the possiblities for making an aol cd into an effective weapon are endless... A good piece of advice is that once you have made a real good looking star that you like... Use it as a template to cut around on other cd's in order to mass produce them!

Armor

Easy..Go to some store and buy two white t-shirts that will fit you..Then take as many cd's as neccesary for your size and glue them on one shirt with crazy glue or something. Make sure the whole shirt exept the sleeves are covered.Now take the other shirt which you did not alter and put it on and then after your sure all the cds are on good and the glue is dry...Put the CD shirt on over the clean shirt. Voila...Instant fashion statement...Also good armor for blocking light projectiles...Just dont expect it to stop a bullet... Remember what happened witht the bb's? You can also exclude the sides of shirt from your cd placement for more mobility if you like.

Sword

Now i have personaly never tried this...But it's a concept i have come up with.

Take at least 5 cd's and glue the cd's together just a little bit on top of each other so that one cd ovevrlaps the other just a little...Let me try to draw a diagram in ascii...

____________________                                 
____________________]___________________
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]______________________|

you would basicly repeat this patter over and over untill you made the cd blade as bid as you want it.

an alternate way that would take more cd's but might have more structural intergrity is...

Next CD would go here...and so on and so on as each two cd's have another cd to support it...Kinda like a chain of cd's.

____________________           \ /                  
____________________]____________
|||||||||||||||||||||||]______________________|

That's all i have come up with for now...But i will make a part two as soon as i can get the time to do some more R&D on different methods. Thanks for reading my guide and hope that some of the methods above bring you hours of good "wholesome";) fun.

SH-out

Guide made By Spirit Hero in this the year of Two Thousand and Three.