The Law as a Gender Weapon of Violence Against Men and Children

by Richard Hewitt

The Law as a Gender Weapon of Violence Against Men and Children

by Richard Hewitt

I have very acute concerns over the endemic level of child abuse and gender violence in our society. I have witnesses what I consider to be child abuse with intent to provoke a spouse. I have seen a child with bleeding feet due to ill-fitting shoes being sent to the transfer point for access. I have seen a child on a cold autumn day, badly in need of bathing, dressed only in a flimsy summer dress, with no coat, sweater, or change of clothing for the weekend access time with her father.

I have seen the anger and desperation, a father feels when his child is abused, and he is bound helpless by our courts and agencies, while his child suffers. I am outraged that a mother and her current husband could do this with impunity, in spite of their six-figure income; for in this case there is no excuse of poverty.

I have seen the death of a child as a result of substance abuse and addiction that began in a broken home. I also know that the father of this child was powerless to stop the exposure of his children to substance abuse. Due to the gender bias of a well known children's agency and their unshakable belief that a woman could not harm her children by her lifestyle, a child died.

I have had a wife, a mother who was determined to throw her adolescent son out of the home when caught shoplifting. She screamed at him, "you have to live on the street, you have been nothing but trouble since you were born, and you will never be part of the family again." I was able to successfully intervene in spite of my wife's objections, and get the child into a group home for adolescent and teen age boys. That stepson of mine has grown to be the most honest, reponsible, kind and gentle young man I have ever known. I am proud that I was able to fulfill a father's role by employing him, at first on a part time basis while he was in school and living in a group home, and then full time for several years after he graduated. Today this young man as an alumnae of this group home, presented the keynote speech at its anniversary and reunion.

I have felt the pain of the tens of thousands of men and their children who are being exploited by the gender biases existing in our society today. We must find a better and more humane way of dealing with family breakdowns, rather than this adversarial system of law and gender biased agencies that voraciously feed on our pain and destroy our childrens' heritage.

Our present system is not working! I for one do not want this to continue for the sake of my granchildren and generations yet unborn.

Our agencies do not always protect the vulerable, instead they use them to protect their own turf and justify their existence in a bureaucratic numbers game.

The historical reaction of all civilizations to injustice is outrage, revolt, civil disobedience, and contempt for the laws. The justice system, simply put, is not working for most Canadians. The only historical result of narrow self interest groups that have gained power is: Outrage, Alienation, and Violence!

I recognize the anger of others, and my personal anger. I try to channel this emotion in constructive ways for, I have seen far too much violence both physical and psychological, in my lifetime.

I have developed contempt for, and outrage at the violence that I have been subjected to. Unfortunately I see this as a way of life that we have allowed to evolve in our society.

My dreams of "A Just Society" have been soiled by the base instincts that have destroyed all civilizations: Greed and the lust for Power.

It is well accepted that the ability to feel outrage is indeed human. However it is also well understood that we cannot in our human condition, be brutalized and not think thoughts of revenge towards those who do harm to us or our loved ones.

I am also aware that those who live in a brutal environment are inevitably emotionally scarred, and often committ the same brutality that was committed against them -- for the sake of our children we cannot let this happen.

Events that have transpired over the last four years have cretaed for me a sense of incredible outrage that such instituionalized victimization can be forced on us in today's society. I am outraged that we as individuals are left powerless to cope with marriage in any sane and sensible way. I realize my anger has to be focused on the incredible lack of concern by our elected representatives, and it must be especially focused on the greed of the legal profession. There is a very evident lack of concern for those who have been manipulated and have become victims of this rapacious system of family law and community agencies that exists today.

I have always believed in, and supported feminist concerns for equality of opportunity, and before the law. However today, our laws and judicial system are at the root of a lot of violence. Most certainly the system is not helping those who are in need. False accusations, legal advice that only escalates conflict, create unrealistic expectations, and promote greed, are in control. They are inflicting the violence of a life of poverty and lost opportunity upon our children.

I believe strongly in our Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. This charter sadly, largely ignored, and laughed at by law enforcement officers and radical groups unless the applications suit their perverted purposes.

The pain in the lives of parental despair, the ever increasing number of children that are reared in the poisoned family environment of today, deprived of a caring parent, makes me very angry.

I am angry that many men I have met have been charged, convicted, and have a criminal record based on contrived and perjured testimony which is actively counselled by many radical feminist agencies.

I am angry about the broken homes that could have been saved, in which the children could have known both parents.

I am angry at institutionalized sexist policy that designates men as the initators and perpetrators of domestic violence. This is evident in The Ontario Ministry of the Attorney General directive of Police Agency policy to remove the male from the domicile without proof of any act committed by them; Even self defence of the man in case of assault by the woman, policy still dictates that the male is to be removed from the home.

I have been personally assaulted by a weapon on my own property and have hospital emergency records to prove physical trauma occurred. This assault with an automobile was witnessed by a neighbour and yet - Police, and the Justice of the Peace have refused to accept the laying of a charge to date. The only reponse to my lawyer to date from the Justice of the Peace is that "she", "was concerned that the laying of such a serious charge would have a profound impact on the woman's life." This assault occurred, the sworn statements of both myself, a witness, and medical evidence of a resultant trauma seem to be insufficient to proceed with the criminal process. Yet if i or any other man had committed an assault with a weapon, we would by now be enjoying an enforced holiday of incarceration, at the taxpayers expense, and in my case my employees would be unemployed.

I support the fact that shelter for children is a concern in many cases. However, I fail to understand, why is the man assumed as the aggressor when studies show that assaults by women in the home are equal to those committed by men? Why is the female aggressor not removed and the children left in the care of the father?

I find it repugnant that we have many excellent clean and public funded shelters and emergency counselling services for women but, virtually none for men.

Tens of thousands of men are living in a state of prpetual fear of being falsely labelled. All a woman has to do is point a finger, and make an accusation, then truth and principles of fundamental justice are not even recognized. Only the existing policy on wife assault is considered. There is no policy on husband assault. Indeed for men living in Canada today is comparable to "The Trial" by Kafka. It creates a state of constant paranoia that destroys the soul and brutalizes all of society.

We have social welfare, legal and justice systems that thrive on creating conflict and violence. It is clearly in the interest of those working in family law and social services agencies to create a need, and even a waiting list for their services.

I support wholehartedly anything that will reduce violence and provide support for the genuine victims of violence. With the issue of violence there seems to be a suppression of studies that show men are equally subjected to sposal violence.

I am sick of the current vogue of male bashing that is endemic. This epidemic of male bashing is a vicious form of psychological violence that contributes to, promotes, and perpetuates the problem of physical violence in our society.

Sexism in any form is no different than racism! Such vitriol only sows mistrust and hatred and, inevitably a totalitarian state as we are seeing, that further diminishes life, liberty, and security of person.

Why do we not have compulsory mediation instead of litigation, and immediate emergency councelling services for both parties available in domestic disputes? The answer is imple, the entire system of the legal profession, politicians, and countless civil servants and social workers would have their job security threatened.

I am angry that my children, stepchildren and grandchildren have been deprived of the rightful inheritance that we have strived so hard to attain.

I feel contempt for those who wrk and voraciously feed in this industry that devours our motivation to realize the dreams of a better life and our children's future. This present system ultimately creates a terible dependancy on social services.

Hopefully by the focus of my anger I will be able to help others avoid this voracious monster of Family Law and sexism of any sort. I hope to contribute to the evolution of a kinder and more humane society that has compassion for its members rather than the feeding frenzy and institutionalized sexist hatred and totalitarianism that exists today.

Social change has to start somewhere. Let it begin here, today, with all of us saying NO MORE!