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Red Dwarf FAQ 5.02 (Dec.94)

Archive-name: tv/red_dwarf-faq
Last-modified: 1994/12/21
Version: 5.02
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RED DWARF FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS LIST

Version 5.02, 21 December 1994
Maintained by Patrick M. Berry
<[email protected]>

Table of Contents

What is RED DWARF?
Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States?
Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?
Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?
| Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF?
Did RED DWARF start on radio?
Is there an American version of RED DWARF?
Who is Grant Naylor?
What does "smeg" mean?
What are the lyrics to the theme song?
What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean?
| What are some of the foods mentioned on the show?
| Why is Holly now a woman? How did Kryten change?
What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly?
| What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"?
Will there be a Series Seven?
| Is Craig Charles in jail?
What's the title of the last episode of Series Two?
What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"?
What are they really saying in "Backwards?"
Who is Gordon Bennett?
How many times has Rimmer had sex?
How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew?
How can Rimmer leave the ship?
How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer?
How many times has Starbug crashed?
Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice?
Are there books about RED DWARF?
Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?
| Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?
Are there RED DWARF magazines?
Is there a RED DWARF computer game?
Has RED DWARF won any awards?
What are the Space Corps Directives?
FAQ List credits
How to find the latest version of this list
Copyright notice

New or changed information is marked with a vertical line in the left
margin.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: What is RED DWARF?

RED DWARF is a British science fiction comedy series that has been on
the air in the U.K. since 1988. It is the brainchild of "Grant
Naylor", a creative team consisting of Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, who
write and produce the show. The premise of the show is best summed up
by the opening narration used in the first series:

"This is an S.O.S. distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The
crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors are
Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and
his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three
million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who
evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one
of the dead crew." --- Holly, the ship's computer

The regular cast of the series is:

Dave Lister...............................Craig Charles
Arnold Rimmer..............................Chris Barrie
Holly.....................................Norman Lovett (series 1-2)
Hattie Hayridge (series 3-5)
The Cat................................Danny John-Jules
Kryten.................................Robert Llewellyn

RED DWARF is also a series of novels based on the TV show. The novels
greatly expand on, and are greatly different from, the show. Many of
the same ideas appear in the novels, but these ideas are put together
in new and interesting ways. Two have been published so far:

RED DWARF: INFINITY WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-012437-3
Penguin, 1989

RED DWARF: BETTER THAN LIFE
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-012438-1
Penguin, 1990

The first two novels have also been published in one volume:

RED DWARF OMNIBUS
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-017466-4
Penguin [date?]

This combined rerelease also contains the script for "Dave Hollis,
Space Cadet" (the SON OF CLICHE sketch that started it all -- see "Did
RED DWARF start on radio?"), a reproduction of the beer mat on which
the idea for Red Dwarf was allegedly first written, and the original
script for "The End" (the first episode of the series).

A third novel is is slated for publication in January 1995:

RED DWARF: THE LAST HUMAN
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-67-085255-4
Viking, 1995

------------------------------

Subject: Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States?

RED DWARF is seen on public television stations across the country. If
your local PBS station doesn't show it, write to them, and convince
your friends to write to them, until they do! The first five series
are all available for purchase by PBS member stations.

If you don't know when (or if) your local PBS station shows RED DWARF,
check your local listings or call the station and ask. Please don't
post the question to alt.tv.red-dwarf -- that will send it all over
the planet, annoying people who don't know or care about your local
station's programming. Besides, the other methods are faster.

------------------------------

Subject: Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?

Videotapes of Series 1 through 5 are available at video stores in the
U.S. and the British Commonwealth. [Let me know about availability
in other countries and I'll add the information here. -- PMB]

Series 6 has not yet been released on video, and can only be obtained
from video bootleggers.

"Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups," a collection of outtakes from the series, was
released on video in the fall of 1994. At this writing, it is
apparently available only in the U.K.

------------------------------

Subject: Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?

You can order RED DWARF stuff (books, books on tape, T-shirts,
baseball caps, SMEGAZINE back issues, NTSC videotapes, etc.) from
John McElroy. For a free catalogue, write to:

JOHN MCELROY
2401 Fox Plaza
1390 Market Street
San Francisco, CA 94102 USA

The New Zealand-based fan club Zed Shift (see "Are there RED DWARF fan
clubs?") operates a mail-order service for members living in New
Zealand.

Other sources of RED DWARF memorabilia are listed in the book THE
MAKING OF RED DWARF (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?").

------------------------------

Subject: Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF?

| Otto Heuer <[email protected]> maintains a very good guide,
available by anonymous ftp:

| ftp://toaster.ee.ubc.ca/pub/red-dwarf/red-dwarf-guide

Here's a quick list to get you started:

Series 1 - 1988 Series 2 - 1988

1 The End....................15 Feb 7 Kryten.................... 6 Sep
2 Future Echoes..............22 Feb 8 Better Than Life..........13 Sep
3 Balance of Power...........29 Feb 9 Thanks for the Memory.....20 Sep
4 Waiting For God............ 7 Mar 10 Stasis Leak...............27 Sep
5 Confidence & Paranoia......14 Mar 11 Queeg..................... 4 Oct
6 Me^^2......................21 Mar 12 Parallel Universe.........11 Oct

Series 3 - 1989 Series 4 - 1991

13 Backwards.................14 Nov 19 Camille...................14 Feb
14 Marooned..................21 Nov 20 D.N.A.....................21 Feb
15 Polymorph.................28 Nov 21 Justice...................28 Feb
16 Bodyswap.................. 5 Dec 22 White Hole.................7 Mar
17 Timeslides................12 Dec 23 Dimension Jump............14 Mar
18 The Last Day..............19 Dec 24 Meltdown..................21 Feb

Series 5 - 1992 Series 6 - 1993

25 Holoship..................20 Feb 31 Psirens................... 7 Oct
26 The Inquisitor............27 Feb 32 Legion....................14 Oct
27 Terrorform................ 5 Mar 33 Gunmen of the Apocalypse..21 Oct
28 Quarantine................12 Mar 34 Emohawk: Polymorph II.....28 Oct
29 Demons and Angels.........19 Mar 35 Rimmerworld............... 4 Nov
30 Back To Reality...........26 Mar 36 Out of Time...............11 Nov

------------------------------

Subject: Did RED DWARF start on radio?

Not exactly. Rob Grant and Doug Naylor wrote the short-lived series
SON OF CLICHE (broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1984). One of the episodes
explored several ideas that were later incorporated into RED DWARF. A
space cadet named Dave Hollis is trapped alone on a spaceship with a
slightly senile computer called HAB. (The voice of HAB was provided
by Chris Barrie, the actor who plays Rimmer in RED DWARF.) While this
was clearly the forerunner for RED DWARF, there is no direct
connection.

The script for "Dave Hollis, Space Cadet" is included in the RED DWARF
OMNIBUS (see "What is RED DWARF?").

------------------------------

Subject: Is there an American version of RED DWARF?

No, not really. The NBC network expressed interest in an American
version of the show and two pilots were made by Universal, but no
series was ever produced.

The first pilot was written by Linwood Boomer and filmed on 22 January
1992 at Universal City Studios in Los Angeles. The cast included the
following actors:

Dave Lister.................................Craig Bierko
Arnold Rimmer.............................Chris Eigelman
Holly........................................Jane Leeves
Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
The Cat....................................Hinton Battle
Christine Kochanski...................Elizabeth Morehead
First Officer Munson...................Michael Heintzman
Captain Tau...........................Lorraine Toussaint

Grant Naylor served as technical consultants. Robert Llewellyn (from
the BBC cast) reprised his role as Kryten. The plot was a retelling
of "The End", with some elements of "Future Echoes" thrown in for good
measure. Some surprising and odd changes were made: for example,
Lister was transformed into a clean-cut and well-dressed Caucasian,
and the H on Rimmer's forehead was replaced with a silver marble.

After rejecting this version, NBC commissioned a second pilot with the
following cast:

Lister......................................Craig Bierko
Rimmer....................................Anthony Fuscle
Holly........................................Jane Leeves
Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
Cat........................................Terry Farrell

The second pilot was not a complete episode, but rather a promo that
combined scenes from the first pilot and newly filmed segments
spotlighting the new cast members. This pilot fixed some problems
(such as restoring Rimmer's H), but had more odd changes, such as
casting a woman as the Cat. (Terry Farrell went on to play Jadzia Dax
on STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.) The second pilot was also rejected,
and the proposed series was shelved indefinitely.

[Does anyone know who wrote the second pilot, or when and where it was
filmed? -- PMB]

Neither pilot has ever been aired or released on videocassette, but
bootleg copies of the first pilot can be found at science fiction
conventions. (The second pilot does not seem to have fallen into the
hands of bootleggers.)

A redesigned Kryten suit (of somewhat better quality than the old BBC
version) was made for the U.S. pilots by a California-based special
effects house. When the pilots were rejected, Robert Llewellyn got to
keep the new suit and wore it in Series Six.

A persistent rumor (printed in the British tabloid SUNDAY MIRROR in
June 1994) claims that an American movie studio is planning to make a
RED DWARF film starring Eddie Murphy and Ted Danson. There appears
to be no factual basis for the rumor.

------------------------------

Subject: Who is Grant Naylor?

The "About the Author" note in the book RED DWARF (see "What is RED
DWARF?") has this to say about the creator(s) of the series:

"Grant Naylor is a gestalt entity occupying two bodies, one of which
lives in north London, the other in south London. The product of a
horribly botched genetic-engineering experiment, which took place in
Manchester in the late fifties, they try to eke out two existences
with only one mind. They attended the same school and the same
university, but, for tax reasons, have completely different wives.

The first body is called Rob Grant, the second Doug Naylor. Among
other things, they spent three years in the mid-eighties as head
writers of SPITTING IMAGE; wrote Radio Four's award-winning series
SON OF CLICHE; penned the lyrics to a number one single; and created
and wrote RED DWARF for BBC television.

They have made a living variously by being ice-cream salesmen,
shoe-shop assistants and by attempting to sell dodgy life-assurance
policies to close friends. They also spent almost two years on the
night shift loading paper into computer printers at a mail-order
factory in Ardwick. They can still taste the cheese 'n' onion
toasties.

Their favourite colour is orange."

Grant Naylor's number one single was "The Chicken Song," a SPITTING
IMAGE spinoff. Philip Pope composed the music and produced the
record, which was released in 1986 by Virgin Records.

------------------------------

Subject: What does "smeg" mean?

The characters in the show use it as an all-purpose profanity.
Apparently derived from "smegma," the term for a particularly
unpleasant bodily secretion, the slang term "smeg" was reportedly in
use in England before the show premiered, although not commonly.
Grant Naylor presumably adopted this little-known bit of Scouse
profanity as a blanket replacement for all other swearing, to keep
them out of trouble with the BBC and to poke fun at the long-standing
convention in science-fiction of inventing futuristic slang.

------------------------------

Subject: What are the lyrics to the theme song?

It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone, more or less
Let me fly far away from here
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose
Drinking fresh mango juice
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes *
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun

* There has been much debate over this line -- it is not sung very
clearly, and many fans think it is simply "Goldfish *are* nibbling."
However, in the fourth series episode "Meltdown," the end theme is
performed by "Elvis" (Clayton Mark), and the word "shoals" is more
distinct. Also, fans who have seen the sheet music for the song
report that the lyrics do read "shoals." A "shoal" is a school of
fish.

------------------------------

Subject: What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean?

Red Dwarf is a bilingual ship, with English and Esperanto as the two
official languages. "Nivelo" is the Esperanto word for "level". The
signs in the corridors of the ship simply indicate (in both languages)
what level you're on.

Esperanto is a real language, developed in the the 1880s by Polish
ophthalmologist L.L. Zamenhof. All of the RED DWARF characters speak
English, but in "Kryten", Rimmer is shown trying (and failing) to
learn Esperanto from a videotape. In the same episode, Kryten,
Lister, and Holly all demonstrate familiarity with the language.

The name "Esperanto" means "one who hopes," a fact that is alluded to
in "Back to Reality."

------------------------------

Subject: What are some of the foods mentioned on the show?

"Vindaloo," the most frequently mentioned food item on the show, is a
very, very hot Indian curry dish. Most Indian restaurants have them
on the menu. They can contain almost any variety of meat, thus
Lister's references to "mutton vindaloo," "chicken vindaloo," etc.

"Poppadoms," another Indian food item, are thin lentil-flour wafers
resembling tortillas, deep-fried until crisp.

A "shami kebab" is an appetizer served in Indian restaraunts. It
consists of finely ground meat and lots of spices, grilled over a
flame, and comes in a variety of shapes -- some flat like a hamburger,
others long and thin like a sausage. The meat is a mixture of pork
and either goat (in more authentic restaurants) or beef (in less
authentic ones). You typically get two shami kebabs with a salad side
dish.

"Chutney" is a fruit piccalilli (pickled relish), often eaten with
cold meat.

"Gazpacho soup" really does exist and really is meant to be served
cold. Several different recipes exist.

A "pot noodle" is an instant noodle product marketed in the U.K. by
Golden Wonder, a snack food company. It's a plastic container with
pre-cooked dried noodles and flavorings inside. To prepare it, you
open the container, pour in boiling water, wait a few moments, and eat
it.

A "kipper" is a herring, cured by splitting, salting, and smoking.
Kippers are eaten as a breakfast food in some parts of the U.K.

A "Topic Bar" is a candy bar sold in the U.K., consisting of fondant
| and hazelnuts covered with chocolate. (This is what Lister means in
| "Marooned" when he says "Don't mention Topics, they're food.") One ad
campaign for the Topic Bar used the slogan "A hazelnut in every bite."
Thus, in "Stasis Leak", Rimmer complains, "Everything always goes
wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a
Topic Bar without a single hazelnut in it."

------------------------------

Subject: Why is Holly now a woman? How did Kryten change?

| The original actor to play Holly, Norman Lovett, left the series after
| a dispute over his salary. In an interview with RED DWARF SMEGAZINE
| (issue 9, November 1992), Lovett said that he asked to be paid the
| same as the other actors on the series, but his request was turned
| down. Hattie Hayridge had appeared in "Parallel Universe" as Hilly,
Holly's female counterpart. "When Norman said he wasn't doing another
series, I auditioned," she recalls. The character of Holly kept the
same name and personality despite the recasting.

Kryten's original actor, David Ross, wasn't available to commit to a
series when Grant Naylor decided to make Kryten a continuing
character, so he was replaced by Robert Llewellyn. (Ross later
returned in "White Hole" as the new voice of Talkie Toaster.)

The reclassification of RED DWARF from a Paul Jackson Production to a
Grant Naylor Production (making it now officially a production outside
the BBC, although it is still filmed at Noel Gay Television) brought
with it several changes in the show's look between Series Two and
Three, including changes in costumes, sets, and miniatures,
particularly the addition of the Starbug and its hangar bay.

Most of these changes are more or less explained by the following
words that scroll rapidly up the screen at the beginning of
"Backwards":

"Three million years in the future, Dave Lister, the last human being
alive, discovers he is pregnant after a liaison with his female self
in a parallel universe. His pregnancy concludes with the successful
delivery of twin boys, Jim and Bexley. However, because the boys were
conceived in another universe, with different physical laws, they
suffer from highly accelerated growth rates and are both eighteen
years old within three days of being born. In order to save their
lives, Lister returns them to the universe of their origin, where they
are reunited with their father (a woman), and are able to lead
comparatively normal lives. Well, as normal as you can be if you've
been born in a parallel universe and your father's a woman and your
mother's a man and you're eighteen years old three days after your
birth. Shortly afterward, Kryten, the service mechanoid, who had left
the ship after being rescued from his own crashed vessel, the Nova 5,
is found in pieces after his space bike crashed into an asteroid.
Lister rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable to recapture his former
personality. Meanwhile, Holly, the increasingly erratic computer,
performs a head sex change operation on himself. He bases his new
face on Hilly, a female computer with whom he'd once fallen madly in
love."

It *is* possible to read all this, using a VCR with good freeze-frame
capabilities. Try it.

------------------------------

Subject: What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly?

Throughout Series Six, the characters travel aboard Starbug; the Red
Dwarf (and Holly) don't appear at all. This tends to confuse viewers
who missed the explanation in "Psirens".

Briefly, what happened is this: Lister parked the Red Dwarf in orbit
around a planetoid, and then forgot which planetoid it was. "They're
all the same, those little blue-green planetoids. Blue-green and
planetoidy." Subsequently, Red Dwarf was stolen "by persons or
lifeforms unknown." Starbug followed the ship's vapor trail for over
200 years, with Lister and the Cat in deep sleep and Rimmer switched
off to conserve power. At the first opportunity to actually catch up
with Red Dwarf, Kryten revived the others, and the saga continued . . .

The real reason for the change was to eliminate Holly from the show.
According to Hattie Hayridge, the parts for Holly and the Cat had both
been getting smaller and smaller. Grant Naylor decided to drop one of
the characters and expand the other. It was easier to drop Holly
because many of her lines could be given to Kryten instead.

------------------------------

Subject: What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"?

| The "Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups" videotape includes an ending for "Out of
| Time" that was filmed, but never used. [email protected] describes
| the ending as follows:
|
| "Rimmer blows up the time drive. Seconds later, a laser cannon blast
| blows up one of the Starbugs, while a second one is seen flying in the
| upper right-hand corner of the screen.
|
| In the next scene, Kryten is carrying a pitcher of yellow liquid into
| Starbug's hold while Rimmer, Lister and Cat are seated around the
| table with wine glasses in front of them. Kryten explains that they
| were never killed because Rimmer's actions in blowing up the time
| drive caused their future selves to cease to exist and notes that
| Rimmer had in fact saved the day. Rimmer grins broadly and tells
| Kryten that it was nothing and not to mention it while Lister claps
| him on the shoulder. Kryten then pours the 'homemade magaritas' into
| all four glasses and passes on better news: they are now a mere six
| hours behind Red Dwarf and that there is no doubt in his mind that
| they'll be able to catch up.
|
| Kryten proposes a toast 'to the present' and all four click glasses
| and take a drink. Lister, wearing a foam mustache, makes a horrible
| face and exclaims that they aren't drinking magaritas, they're
| drinking 'urine recyc' and glares at Kryten. Rimmer and Cat, with
| their matching foam mustaches, also making nasty faces, give Kryten a
| dirty look. Kryten, with his foaming mustache, slouches with
| embarrassment in his chair."

------------------------------

Subject: Will there be a Series Seven?

Apparently so. In October 1994, Grant Naylor made the following
announcement: "A new series of RED DWARF has been commissioned,
subject to contract, and will go into production in the middle of
1995." However, Craig Charles's legal problems (see "Is Craig Charles
in jail?") may prevent him from appearing in the new episodes.

------------------------------

Subject: Is Craig Charles in jail?

Not any more. On the evening of 8 July 1994, Charles and company
director John Peploe were arrested and charged with the rape of a
38-year-old broadcasting student (which allegedly occurred that
morning at the victim's flat in Clapham, South London). On 20 July,
Charles and Peploe were denied bail. Charles remained behind bars at
Wandsworth Jail for the next several months.

In mid-October, Charles was attacked by a fellow inmate wielding a
homemade knife. Charles was not hurt (thanks to the intervention of
another inmate), but was badly shaken. On 25 October, Charles was
released on bail until his trial, which is set for 20 February 1995.

The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club is forwarding letters of support to
| Charles. See "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?" for addresses.

It is not known how these events will affect the filming of new RED
DWARF episodes. Grant Naylor have stated their intention to continue
the series (see "Will there be a Series Seven?") but Charles's
involvement will of course hinge on the outcome of his trial.

------------------------------

Subject: What's the title of the last episode of Series Two?

No title was given in the original broadcast. The episode opened with
a musical number instead of the normal titles. Most British fans
learned that the episode's name was "Parallel Universe" from its
listing in the RADIO TIMES; some American fans called it "Tongue Tied"
after the song in the opening musical number. "Parallel Universe" was
the most common title used, and it has now been confirmed as the
official title as printed on the BBC videotape releases.

------------------------------

Subject: What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"?

"Parallel Universe" begins with a musical number that turns out to be
a dream had by the self-centered Cat. The studio audience's laughter
makes the lyrics a little hard to understand, but combining a couple
of different posters' ideas of what they were gave us this:

The Cat: Chorus -- Lister and Rimmer:

When I saw you for the first time (first time)
My knees began to quiver (quiver)
And I got a funny feeling (feeling)
In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system baby)

My hands they started shakin' (shakin')
My heart began a-thumpin' (boom boom boom)
My breakfast left my body (huey huey huey)
It all really tells me something

Girl you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me (near me)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Whenever you're in town

I saw you 'cross the dance floor (dancin')
I thought of birds and bees (reproductive system baby)
And when I tried to speak to ya (talk talk)
My tongue unraveled to my knees (flippety-flippety-flop)

I tried to say I love you (love you)
But it came out kind of wrong, girl (wrong girl)
It sounded like "Nunubididoo" (tongue tied)
Nuh mur nuh murh ni nong nurl

'Cause you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me (near me)
Be-dobby-durgle (dobby-durgle)
Tongue tied (tongue tied)
Whenever you're around

Oh I'm beggin' on my knees
Sweet, sweet darling, listen please
Understand me when I say
Bedurble-diggle-doggle-dooby-doggle-durgle-day

I'm trying to say nungy-nangy (nangy-nungy)
Ningy-nongy, why can't I tell you clearly (clearly)
Be-dobby-durgle (dobby-durgle)
Durgle-dobby (durgle-dobby)
Whenever you're around (around)
Whenever you're around (around)

In the fall of 1993, "Tongue Tied" was released as a single in England
and rose to #17 in the Gallup UK Top 40. The artist was listed simply
as "The Cat." A music video of "Tongue Tied" was reportedly shown on
the TOP OF THE POPS show in England and on MTV in the States. Copies
of the video (and a half-hour program on the making of the video) are
available from John McElroy (see "Where can I get other RED DWARF
merchandise?").

------------------------------

Subject: What are they really saying in "Backwards"?

Most of the reversed dialogue in the episode "Backwards" is pretty
much either what the subtitles say it is or what you'd expect from
context; some of it actually appears to be random noise. There are
two good exceptions, however.

When Lister and the Cat steal a bicycle, its owner yells after them,
"You scoundrels! Return my bike immediately!" -- at least, according
to the subtitles. What he actually says, however, is, "Oi! Hey! Oi,
you robbing bastards, that's our tandem!"

Later, when the stage manager comes in to yell at Rimmer and Kryten,
he appears to be blaming them for starting the "fight." Here's what
he's actually saying:

"Frankly, your act's crap. Anyway, anybody could have done it. I
hate the lot of you. Bollocks to you! . . . You are a stupid,
square-headed, bald git, aren't you? I ain't pointing at you, I'm
pointing at you. But I'm not actually addressing you, I'm addressing
the one prat in the country who's bothered to get hold of this
recording, turn it round, and actually work out the rubbish that I'm
saying. What a poor, sad life he's got!"

------------------------------

Subject: Who is Gordon Bennett?

"Gordon Bennett" is a name used by the characters, most notably Holly,
as an expletive ("Gordon Bennett! What was that?"). James Gordon
Bennett (1841-1918) was an American newspaper tycoon and multi-
millionaire who is listed in the GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS for
"Greatest Engagement Faux Pas." Bennett's engagement to Caroline May
was broken in 1877 after he arrived late and drunk at the May family's
New York mansion and urinated in the living room fireplace in front of
his hosts. Today, Bennett's name is used as an expression of
disbelief in England, and is essentially a euphemism for "God".

------------------------------

Subject: How many times has Rimmer has sex?

Only once while he was alive, with Yvonne McGruder, the ship's female
boxing champion ("Thanks for the Memory"). The story he tells Lister
in "Marooned", about losing his virginity in the back seat of his
brother's car, appears to be false. Rimmer has had simulated sex in a
virtual reality game ("Better Than Life") and holographic sex with
another hologram ("Holoship").

------------------------------

Subject: How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew?

In "The End", Todhunter says "There are 169 people on board this
ship." Yet in "Justice", the Justice Computer charges Rimmer with
1,167 counts of murder for causing the deaths of the entire crew.
What gives?

RED DWARF abounds with minor inconsistencies like this one. When
Grant Naylor come up with a good idea (such as the "light bee" -- see
"How can Rimmer leave the ship?"), they don't worry overmuch about
whether it contradicts something in a previous episode. In this case,
they evidently decided that a larger crew was more appropriate for a
ship five miles long and three miles in diameter.

One possible explanation is that the Justice Computer got its
information from Rimmer's mind, and Rimmer has an inflated notion of
his own importance. In addition to overstating his own responsibility
for the deaths of the crew, he may have exaggerated the number of
people involved.

------------------------------

Subject: How can Rimmer leave the ship?

Because Rimmer is a computer-generated hologram, some viewers are
confused when he leaves Red Dwarf and visits planets, space stations,
other ships, and so forth. In early episodes, Rimmer was generated by
the Red Dwarf's onboard holographic equipment, which allowed him to
move freely about the ship. He was also able to travel on the Red
Dwarf's auxilary vessels (Blue Midget and White Giant), which
presumably carry their own hologram generators. He could only visit
the surface of a planet within a Hologram Projection Cage, as seen in
"Thanks for the Memory".

This limitation proved to be inconvenient, so Grant Naylor came up
with another explanation, the "light bee". This device is a tapered
cylinder about one inch in diameter and three inches long that "buzzes
around inside him and projects his image" (as described by Holly in
"Meltdown"). The light bee can go anywhere, allowing Rimmer to leave
the ship without needing a projection cage.

Some fans have speculated that the light bee was invented sometime
during Series 2 (by Holly) or Series 3 (by either Holly or Kryten).
However, this doesn't explain how Rimmer was able to leave the Blue
Midget and enter the wreck of the Nova 5 in "Kryten", two episodes
*before* he was shown in a projection cage.

------------------------------

Subject: How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer?

In the episode "Polymorph", a shape-changing creature that feeds on
emotions invades the Red Dwarf. This creature uses its shapeshifting
ability to provoke an emotional response, then attaches a sucker to
the victim's forehead and sucks out the emotion. Lister, the Cat,
Kryten, and Rimmer all succumb to the creature's attack.

Some fans have asked how the Polymorph could possibly attach its
sucker to Rimmer (who is, after all, a hologram). Two possible
explanations have been suggested: either the sucker actually made
contact with Rimmer's light bee (see "How can Rimmer leave the
ship?"), or the Polymorph can change into a hologram. Holograms can
touch each other, as demonstrated in "Parallel Universe."

------------------------------

Subject: How many times has Starbug crashed?

There are at least two vehicles called "Starbug" on board the Red
Dwarf, and they seem to crash-land or collide with things an awful
lot. Crash landings occur in the following episodes:

"Backwards" "Terrorform"
"Marooned" "Psirens"
"Bodyswap" "Gunmen of the Apocalypse"
"Dimension Jump" "Emohawk"

The crashed Starbug was abandoned on more than one occasion,
indicating either that more than two of them exist, or that facilities
exist on board Red Dwarf to manufacture replacement Starbugs.

------------------------------

Subject: Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice?

In "Thanks for the Memory", we learn that Lister had his appendix
removed years ago. In "Legion", it gets removed again. How is this
possible?

In all likelihood, this is just another of the minor inconsistencies
for which RED DWARF is famous. However, some fans have theorized
that Lister's appendix was regenerated in "DNA", along with the rest
of his body.

------------------------------

Subject: Are there books about RED DWARF?

Numerous RED DWARF reference works are available:

THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF COMPANION
by Bruce Dessau
ISBN 1-85286-456-7
Titan, 1992

This thin little book (95 pages) has a lot of wasted space, but some
interesting quotes and information and some wonderful color photos
throughout. If you're looking for in-depth, solid information about
the show, this isn't where you'll find it; but if you want a nice,
light read, a collector's item, and an attractive coffee-table book,
this is it. Available in England and at conventions in the U.S.

RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE
by Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons
ISBN 0-86-369682-1
Virgin, 1993

"Everything you never wanted to know about the smash smega-series."
An in-depth collection (about 230 pages) of information about series
1-5. It includes sections on History, The Characters, The Programmes,
The Index, The Creators (cast and production crew), and The Spin-offs.
The Index is by far the largest section of the book and is an
alphabetical list of almost everything mentioned to during the series,
from "A to Z of Red Dwarf, The" to "Zoom function".

A revised edition is scheduled for publication in January 1995.
Virgin's publicity for the book states that "this new edition is
updated and considerably expanded. Much of the text has been
re-written to take into account the latest news, and the book contains
the latest information about the newest episodes and recent spin-off
products and activities."

RED DWARF -- PRIMORDIAL SOUP: THE LEAST WORST SCRIPTS
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-017886-4
Penguin, 1993

This book contains the complete scripts for "Polymorph," "Marooned,"
"Dimension Jump," "Justice," "Back to Reality," and "Psirens." Not
published in the U.S., but available from John McElroy (see "Where can
I get other RED DWARF merchandise?") and other distributors of
imported books.

THE MAN IN THE RUBBER MASK
by Robert Llewellyn
ISBN 0-14-023575-2
Penguin, 1994

A very nice little book, detailing Llewellyn's involvement in RED
DWARF from the beginning of Series 3 through the filming of the
American pilots (see "Is there an American RED DWARF?"). Predictably,
there is some complaining about the Rubber Mask, but only a little.
There are plenty of anecdotes and stories, and lots of trivia. The
section on the American pilots is especially revealing, and gives some
plausible reasons why the whole project fell through. Not an
essential purchase for RED DWARF fans, but a very good one indeed.

RED DWARF SERIES COMPANION
[Author?]
[ISBN?]
Penguin, 1994

No information yet about the content of this book.

THE MAKING OF RED DWARF
by Joe Nazzaro
ISBN 0-14-023206-0
Penguin, 1994

A rather slender book with lots of nice colour photographs. Focuses
on the making of "Gunmen Of The Apocalypse". The book goes into a
fair amount of detail, but nothing that couldn't have been gleaned
from a half-dozen back issues of the now-defunct SMEGAZINE (see "Are
there RED DWARF magazines?"). The book's main strength is the added
material: some great photos, fragments of the original "Gunmen" script
(mostly stage directions, but also one unfilmed scene) and storyboards
used in the filming. The back of the book contains information on how
you can purchase RED DWARF paraphernalia such as t-shirts, baseball
caps, and models of Starbug and Kryten.

RED DWARF QUIZ BOOK
by Nicky Hooks and Sharon Burnett
ISBN 0-14-023662-7
Penguin, 1994

RED DWARF trivia and mind-bending teasers. Contains questions such as
"What was referred to as a small off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic
warden?", crosswords, word searches, "who said . . .", information about
the cast, and photos. After a while, though, you have to wonder about
the mind of someone who can put together questions such as "What
follows the leaflet campaign?" or "What was in canister 1121?"

------------------------------

Subject: Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?

Yes, fan clubs exist in several countries. Here's a list:

THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB (U.K.)

This club is based in England, but has addresses in several other
countries. Membership includes three issues of their magazine BETTER
THAN LIFE, a badge, and a membership card. Membership rates (per year)
are as follows:

UK/BFPO - 8.50 Sterling
Europe - 9.50 Sterling equivalent
Eire - IR#10 (8.50 Sterling)
USA - US$20.00 (??.?? Sterling)
Australia - A$27.00 (13.00 Sterling)
New Zealand - NZ$32.00 (11.00 Sterling)

Cash or cheques in your local currency are accepted, but take weeks
rather than days to clear. If you prefer to send an International
Money Order, the equivalent rates are shown above. Write to:

U.K.: 40 Pitford Road Eire: Caroline Griffin
Woodley 67 Rafters Road
Reading Drimnagh
RG5 4QF Dublin 12

U.S.: Mark Kennedy Australia: Tom Marwede
P.O. Box 50552 PO Box 1044
Palo Alto, CA 94303 Bundoora 3083
Victoria

THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB (U.S.)
P. O. Box 400
Columbiaville, MI 48421

Membership is $25 for the first year and includes a T-shirt,
membership card, cast picture, and the club newsletter (published
approximately every other month). [What's the name of the newsletter?
-- PMB] Renewals are available for $12 per year. The club does not
have meetings, but does sponsor occasional special events, such as a
complete showing of Series Six in the fall of 1993 (when it had not
yet been broadcast in the U.S.).

Mike Gardiner <[email protected]> has agreed to serve as an unofficial
Internet contact for this club.

It is not true that this club has ceased operations. According to
Mike Gardiner, the club's mail was being mishandled by the post
office, and in many cases was not delivered. The new mailing address
(above) should fix this problem. If you sent mail to the old address
and received no reply, write to the new address.

ZED SHIFT (New Zealand)
PO Box 10104
Wellington
New Zealand

Zed Shift publishes a quarterly magazine (GARBAGE POD), operates a
mail-order service for New Zealand members, and holds the occasional
meeting. Members receive four issues of GARBAGE POD, a guide to RED
DWARF, a membership card, and a hologram H.

The cost of one year's membership in NZ dollars is:
- New Zealand $15
- Australia $20
- Rest of world $25

For a registration form, send an SAE or IRC.

BETTER THAN LIFE (Germany)
Sylvia Pranga
Isolde-Kurz-Str. 145 (36)
W-4400 Munster-Nienberge
GERMANY

This club publishes a newsletter (mostly in German) called TALKIE
TOASTER (TM).

------------------------------

Subject: Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?

Internet: If you have access to Mosaic or another World Wide Web
| browser, there are several known RED DWARF home pages. These carry
information on scripts, links to the FTP site, quotes, and other
goodies. The URLs are:

http://http2.brunel.ac.uk:8080/home.html

http://sdio.issi.com/RedDwarf/rd-home_page.html

http://www.hal.com/~markg/docs/RedDwarf/rd-home_page.html

http://turnpike.net/chrisk/rd.html

| http://www.tufts.edu/~jfeuerst/reddwarf.html

ftp://ftp.funet.fi/pub/pics/tv+film/RedDwarf

ftp://ftp.sunet.se/pub/pictures/tv.film/Red_Dwarf

Dave Gagne <daveg@ee.ubc.ca> maintains an anonymous ftp site with a
lot of good stuff, including scripts, sound files, episode guides,
quote files, GIF and JPEG pictures, and an AmigaGuide version of this
FAQ List. For details, get the README file.

ftp://toaster.ee.ubc.ca/pub/red-dwarf/

| There is an IRC #Red_Dwarf channel as well.

Usenet: There is a newsgroup devoted to news and discussion about the
RED DWARF:

news:alt.tv.red-dwarf

UUCP: If you have email capability, you can subscribe to a RED DWARF
mailing list.

mailto:[email protected]

Type the following text as the body of the message:

subscribe reddwarf Your Name

CompuServe: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the British Media SF
section of the SF & Fantasy Forum.

America Online: There is an active folder called Red Dwarf in the Star
Trek/Comix/TV/Star Wars Boards in the Science Fiction & Fantasy Forum
(keyword: sci fi).

GEnie: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the British TV topic of
the SHOWBIZ RT.

[Anyone know about BIX, Prodigy, or other online services? -- PMB]

------------------------------

Subject: Are there RED DWARF magazines?

RED DWARF SMEGAZINE, the official magazine for the series, ceased
publication with Volume 2 Issue 9 (December 1993). A campaign is
under way to revive the SMEGAZINE. For details, send a self-addressed
envelope to:

SAVE OUR SMEG!
Churchside
Park End
Bromley, Kent BR1 3PZ
England

Some back issues are still available from the publisher:

FLEETWAY EDITIONS LIMITED
3rd Floor
Greater London House
Hampstead Road
London NW1 7QQ
England

Several RED DWARF newsletters or fanzines are published by RED DWARF
fan clubs (see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?"). In addition, two
independent fanzines are known to exist:

STASIS LEAK
Space Rat Press
P.O. Box 422
Park Ridge, NJ 07656 USA

U.S./Canada/and Mexico: $12 U.S. per issue
Elsewhere: $15 U.S. per issue

Space Rat Press seems to have obtained permission from Grant Naylor,
which is rare for a fanzine. Two issues have been published so far:

#1 Interviews with Grant Naylor, Chris Barrie, Hattie Hayridge,
Andria Pannell (makeup designer). RED DWARF fiction, article on
U.S. pilot, Series 5 preview and production notes, trivia quiz,
an "old vs. new" debate, and an episode guide for seasons 1 and 2.
Black and white photos inside throughout and back cover. Color
photo cover of Rimmer from "Holoship." 8 1/2 x 11, 50 pages.

#2 Interviews with Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules, plus Craig's
press conference from Visions '92. More RED DWARF fiction, book
reviews, a preview and production notes for Series 6, reader
survey results, and episode guide for Series 3 and 4. Black and
white photos inside, color photo cover of Duane Dibbley.
8 1/2 x 11, 54 pages.

THE SMALL ROUGE ONE
Peg Kennedy and Bill Hupe
Footrot Flats
916 Lamb Road
Mason, WI 48854 USA

U.S./Canada/Mexico: $7 U.S.
Elsewhere: inquire

Devoted entirely to original RED DWARF fiction. One issue so far,
containing four stories: "Special Delivery," "Companionship," "Virus,"
and "A RED DWARF Christmas Carol." The last three form a sort of
trilogy. Center artwork and color artwork cover. 5 1/2 x 8 1/2, 56
pages.

------------------------------

Subject: Is there a RED DWARF computer game?

Not yet, but there may be one someday. Dino Boni, a journalist
working for a U.K. computer magazine, reported in June 1994 that two
software companies were considering publishing a graphical RED DWARF
adventure game for the IBM PC.

[email protected] reports the following: "In 1991 I was working for
Imagitec Design, a computer games company based in Dewsbury, West
Yorkshire, England. We had a full game design / plot written up and
partially storyboarded, ready to be submitted for approval from Grant
& Naylor. They were very excited about the prospect of a game since
the 'Better Than Life' theme would link nicely to the series. We
approached Gremlin Graphics, in Sheffield, to handle the licensing.
The deal came to a standstill when Noel Gay TV wanted way too much
money for the license and so the game never saw the light of day."

There are two DOS computer viruses ("Pathogen" and "Queeg") written by
an anonymous person who is apparently a RED DWARF fan. When
activated, the "Pathogen" virus displays the following message:

Your hard-disk is being corrupted, courtesy of PATHOGEN!
Programmed in the U.K. (Yes, NOT Bulgaria!) [C] The Black Baron 1993-4.
Featuring SMEG v0.1: Simulated Metamorphic Encryption Generator!
'Smoke me a kipper, I`ll be back for breakfast.....'
Unfortunately some of your data won't!!!!!

These viruses were first detected in February of 1994. Reuters
reported on 22 July 1994 that a man in Plymouth, England, had been
arrested and charged with creating the viruses.

------------------------------

Subject: Has RED DWARF won any awards?

At the 1994 International Emmy Awards, the RED DWARF episode "Gunmen
of the Apocalypse," tied with ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS (Series 2:
"Hospital") in the Popular Arts category. The International Emmys are
awarded by the International Council of the National Academy of TV
Arts & Sciences.

At the 1994 British Comedy Awards, RED DWARF won Best BBC Situation
Comedy.

------------------------------

Subject: What are the Space Corps Directives?

The following Space Corps Directives are mentioned in episodes of RED
DWARF:

Article 5 Gross negligence leading to the endangerment of
personnel. ("Queeg")

Article 169 [Exact text not given, but similar to 195.]
("Quarantine")

Article 195 In an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic
crewmember must lay down his life in order that the
living crewmembers might survive. ("White Hole")

Article 312 [Quarantine berths must] provide minimum leisure
facilities. ("Quarantine")

Article 497 You have to work to earn credits for food. ("Queeg")

Article 597 One [quarantine] berth per crew member.
("Quarantine")

Article 699 [A crew member may] demand a re-screening after five
days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")

Article 1742 No member in the Corps should ever report for active
duty in a ginger toupee. ("Psirens")

Article 1743 No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an
asteroid belt without deflectors. ("Psirens")

Article 5796 No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is
permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.
("Psirens")

Article 5797 [Exact text not given, but has to do with Lister
being unable to enter the ship for the safety of the
crew.] ("Psirens")

Article 34124 No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex
in zero gravity. ("Legion")

Article 68250 [Exact text not given, but involves at least one
live chicken and a rabbi.] ("Emohawk: Polymorph II")

Article 196156 Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the
exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be
discharged without trial. ("Rimmerworld")

(No # given) It is our primary overriding duty to contact other
life forms, exchange information, and, whenever
possible, bring them home. ("Polymorph")

Two All Nations agreements are also mentioned, both in "Gunmen of the
Apocalypse":

75880932/C The right of POW's to non-violent constraint.

39436175880932/B All nations attending the conference are only
allowed one car-parking space.

Finally, Rimmer cites the following two "Rimmer Directives":

Article 271 No chance, you metal bastard! ("White Hole")

(No # given) Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth
than the entire Osmond family. ("Polymorph")

------------------------------

Subject: FAQ List credits

Original FAQ List created by.................Michael J. Montoure
Renee Ann Byrd

Maintained by................Patrick Berry <[email protected]>

ASCII art by...............William Towle <[email protected]>

New information contributed by:

Josh Feuerstein <[email protected]>
Dave Gagne <daveg@ee.ubc.ca>
Otto Heuer <[email protected]>
Maxine Lehmann <[email protected]>
(name unknown) <[email protected]>
(name unknown) <[email protected]>

------------------------------

Subject: How to find the latest version of this list

By WWW: Using NCSA Mosaic, lynx, or your favorite World Wide Web
browser, you can get USENET FAQs from Thomas Fine's FAQ site at Ohio
State University:

http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/FAQ-List.html

The RED DWARF FAQ List is under R for RED DWARF.

By Gopher: If you have access to the Gopher service, you can connect
to the server at the University of New Brunswick (Canada):

gopher://jupiter.sun.csd.unb.ca:70/

Select "UseNet News Frequently Asked Questions... FAQs", then
"alt. -- alternative newsgroup listings". The FAQs are listed in
alphabetical order.

By Anonymous FTP: Almost all Usenet FAQ lists can be found by
anonymous FTP to rtfm.mit.edu. For the latest version of the Red
Dwarf FAQ List, get:

ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf-faq

For more info on how to FTP, ask your friendly local systems staff or
see the periodic posting in news.announce.newusers entitled "Anonymous
FTP: Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) List."

Through Your Newsreader: The FAQ is posted every fourteen days to the
following newsgroups:

news:alt.tv.red-dwarf
news:alt.answers
news:news.answers

By Mail: If you can't FTP, you can use MIT's mail server to access
their FAQ archives.

mailto:[email protected]

To request the Red Dwarf FAQ, type the following as the body of your
message:

send /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf-faq

For complete information on using this service, type the following
(and nothing else) as the body of your message:

help
index

If All Else Fails: If you can't get a copy by any of the methods
described above, send me mail and I'll send you a copy.

mailto:[email protected]

------------------------------

Subject: Copyright notice

This document is Compilation Copyright 1993-1994 by Patrick M. Berry.
It may be freely redistributed in its entirety provided that this
copyright notice is not removed. It may not be sold for profit or
incorporated in commercial documents without the written permission of
the copyright holder.

End of RED DWARF Frequently Asked Questions List (FAQ)
******************************************************
 
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
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