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STNG Classic Quotes
STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
CLASSIC QUOTES
by
Eric Juneau, A.K.A. Ericcat; Cmdr Spot
SEASON 1
ENCOUNTER AT FARPOINT Part 1
Picard: "You will agree, Data, that Starfleet's orders are
difficult."
Data: "Difficult? Simply solve the mystery of Farpoint
station."
Picard: "As simple as that."
Troi: "Farpoint station...Even the name sounds mysterious."
Picard: "It's hardly simple, Data, to negotiate a friendly
agreement with Starfleet to use the base while at the same
time snoop around to find out how and why the lifeform there
built it."
Data: "Inquiry. The word `snoop'?"
Picard: "Data, how can you be programed with a virtual human
encyclopedia of information without knowing a simple word
like `snoop'?"
Data: "Possibilities: A kind of human behavior I was not
designed to emulate."
Picard: "It means uh...to uh...spy, to sneak."
Data: "Ah. To seek covertly, to go stealthily, to slink, to
sliver..."
Picard: "Exactly, yes."
Data: "...glide, creep, skulk, pussyfoot, gum..."
Picard: "Yes!"
Data: "...shoe."
----Picard and Data conversing on the matters of Farpoint----
ENCOUNTER AT FARPOINT Part II
Picard: "Let's see what's out there."
------------Picard at the end of the first episode-----------
THE NAKED NOW
Data: "If you prick me...do I not leak?"
Data explaining the intoxicating water has the same effect on
----------him by stating his similarities to humans----------
CODE OF HONOR
Riker: "Do we know the source of their transporter beam?"
Laforge: "Our own transporter people have tried to trace it,
sir, but to no effect."
Data: "It reads similar to early Starfleet efforts, but uses
the Neglanian Shift to convert energy and matter in different
...which is actually not important at this time.
---Data, Laforge and Riker trying to figure out how Yar was--
--------------transported by the Ligonian leader-------------
HAVEN
Data: "Could you please continue the `petty bickering'?"
-Data captivated by the insults between Lwaxana Troi and the-
-------------Millers and let down when it quiets-------------
WHERE NO ONE HAS GONE BEFORE
Picard: "Ah Wesley, come on the bridge...Move! Commander
Riker has told me how supportive you were in engineering.
Well done. Oh, at ease. Uh, sit here at command."
Riker: "Captain, he's not allowed, your orders."
Picard: "Um...that's true...well uh, I, uh, can't waive them
again? Only commissioned officers..."
Wesley: "It's quite all right sir, I understand."
Picard: "Please don't interrupt me Wesley."
Wesley: "Sorry, sir."
----Riker and Picard discussing Wesley after the traveler----
----------------suggested encouraging the boy----------------
THE LAST OUTPOST
Data: "I appear to be...stuck."
-----Data after he gets trapped in a Chinese finger trap-----
----------discussing the outpost of the Tkon Empire----------
LONELY AMONG US
Worf: "I still do not remember having one."
--Worf responding to Dr. Crusher's question about his memory-
--------block-out due to a power surge in engineering--------
JUSTICE
Worf: "Human women are too...fragile."
Worf responding to Riker's question about why he doesn't have
--------------------any fun on Rubican III-------------------
THE BATTLE
Crusher: "You sent for me sir?"
Picard: "Yes doctor, sit down. Um, look, this perhaps may be
nothing, but I've been feeling a bit odd at late, uh,
fatigued and now I've got this damned headache..."
Crusher: "A what?"
Picard: "Headache! Headache! Surely you know what a headache
is."
---Picard with a headache which is being caused by a mind----
------------control device utilized by Daimon Bok------------
HIDE AND Q
Riker: "Is this your idea of sex?"
--Riker to Worf after giving him a Klingon woman with his Q--
----------------------------powers---------------------------
TOO SHORT A SEASON
Admrl. Jameson: "I hope we're going to the bedroom."
-Admiral Mark Jameson to his wife who wants to see how young-
-------------------------he's gotten-------------------------
THE BIG GOODBYE
Data: "It was raining in the city by the bay...a hard rain,
hard enough to wash the slime..."
---------------Data doing his Bogart impression--------------
DATALORE
Lore: "I have been trying to imitate Lore's twitch. Is it
convincing?"
-----Lore acting as Data trying to cover up the fact he's----
--------------------------incognito--------------------------
ANGEL ONE
Picard: "What is that smell?"
Worf: "Um, yes, slightly reminiscent of the night-blooming
throgni, from home. Quite stimulating wouldn't you say?"
Picard: "No."
Worf noticing the smell near the holodeck which actually is a
-----------------------respiratory virus---------------------
11001001
Worf: "If winning is not important then Commander, why keep
score?"
---Worf to Riker about participating in a parrises squares---
------------------tournament at Starbase 74------------------
HOME SOIL
Shining lifeform: "We declare war."
----A two and a half inch high crystal after having energy---
------------------depleted from it's location----------------
WHEN THE BOUGH BREAKS
Picard: "Things are only impossible until they are not."
-Picard trying to get Data to break through the Aldea shield-
COMING OF AGE
Remmick: "You don't like me do you?"
Worf: "It is required, sir."
-----Worf to Remmick responding to his annoying behavior-----
HEART OF GLORY
Riker: "I can't see anything."
---Riker to Laforge looking at a hull breach with his VISOR--
THE ARSENAL OF FREEDOM
Riker: "It's just been commissioned. It's a good ship."
-Riker to an info-gathering image of Paul Rice commenting on-
------------------his "ship", the Lollipop-------------------
SYMBIOSIS
Yar: "Behave yourselves."
Yar to the representatives of Omara and Brekka after they get
-------------into a fight using electrical powers------------
SKIN OF EVIL
Yar: "No goodbyes, just good memories."
-------------------Yar in her death sermon-------------------
WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS
Data: "Oh, we are us, sir. They are also us. So, indeed, we
are both us."
---Data to Riker and Picard after seeing themselves have a---
---------conversation they just had in the turbolift---------
CONSPIRACY
Worf: "Swimming is too much like...bathing."
----Worf answering Picard's question about shore leave at----
---------------------------Pacifica--------------------------
THE NEUTRAL ZONE
Data: "Sir, a low-mileage pit-wolfie?
Riker: "You got me, Data."
Data: "They are some of the most oddest humans I've ever
encountered."
Riker: "Makes one wonder how we got out of the 20th century."
-----Data to Riker after visiting the 20th century humans----
SEASON 2
THE CHILD
Data: "Now, Now, NOW, Doctor, DOCTOR."
------Data to Pulaski when Troi is about to have a child-----
WHERE SILENCE HAS LEASE
Riker: "Yes, absolutely, I do indeed concur wholeheartedly."
Riker after narrowly missing destruction of the Enterprise by
------------------------Auto-destruct------------------------
ELEMENTARY, DEAR DATA
Riker: "You'll be a big hit in London."
-------------Riker to Worf commenting on his suit------------
THE OUTRAGEOUS OKONA
Data: "A guy walks into a doctor's office. The doctor tells
him `You need an operation.' The guy says `I want a second
opinion.' The doctor says `OK, you're ugly too.' Ba doom
boom...was I funny?"
Guinan: "No Data, you spoil the joke. It could have been your
timing.
Data: "My timing is digital."
Guinan: "That's funny!
Data: "Why?"
Guinan: "It would take too long to explain. Tell me another
joke."
Data: "A monk, a clone, and a Ferengi decided to go bowling
together..."
----------Data to Guinan trying to understand humor----------
THE SCHIZOID MAN
Data: "I can safely say that to know him was to love him, and
to love him was to know him. Those who knew him, loved him,
while those who did not know him loved him from afar..."
Picard: "Data!"
Data: "I am almost finished sir."
Picard: "You are finished, Data."
--Ira Graves in the body of Data giving his eulogy of Graves-
LOUD AS A WHISPER
Riker: "I'm a little worried about you leading this away
team."
Picard: "Oh cluck, cluck, cluck number one.
Riker: "Sir?"
Picard: "You're being a mother hen."
-------Picard and Riker discussing the trip to Ramatis-------
UNNATURAL SELECTION
Picard: "I hope you realize that if it didn't work I'd have
to scatter your atoms across the Gagarin system."
Pulaski: "That's what I think is going to happen every time I
use the thing."
--Picard to Pulaski discussing the attempt to bring Pulaski--
--------------------back to her normal age-------------------
A MATTER OF HONOR
Worf: "You may impress me."
--Worf to the Benzite exchange student after Picard says he--
-------------does not need to be impressed by him------------
THE MEASURE OF A MAN
Capt. Louvois: "Data is a toaster."
Capt. Louvois making a quick decision about Data's sentience
----------------because Riker won't prosecute----------------
THE DAUPHIN
Worf: "Men do not roar, women roar. Then they hurl heavy
objects, and claw at you."
Wesley: "What do the men do?"
Worf: "They read love poetry."
Wesley: "Huh?"
Worf: "They duck...a lot."
------------Wesley to Worf getting advice on love------------
CONTAGION
Riker: "If it should become necessary to fight could you
arrange to find some rocks to throw at them?"
---Riker to the acting security chief, frustrated over the---
------------------unending systems failures------------------
THE ROYALE
Data: "Baby needs a new pair of shoes."
---Data to Riker before tossing the dice at the craps table--
TIME SQUARED
Worf: "Delicious."
-------Worf to Riker about his appalling scrambled eggs------
THE ICARUS FACTOR
Worf: "With all due respect, BE GONE! Sir."
--------Worf to Data angry about his rite of ascension-------
PEN PALS
Wesley: "I could have just been picking nits."
------Wesley to Riker worried he's becoming a nit-picker-----
Q WHO
Q: "And microbrain! Growl for me, let me know you still
care."
----------Q to Worf about his arrival in Ten Forward---------
SAMARITAN SNARE
Picard: "And I told him what I thought of him, his pals, his
planet, and I possibly made some passing reference to his
questionable parentage."
-Picard to Wesley explaining how he got his artificial heart-
UP THE LONG LADDER
Bringloidi leader: "Send in the clones."
-Bringloidi leader to Mariposa leader agree to the terms of a
-----------------------joint settlement----------------------
MANHUNT
Lwaxana Troi: "I still say they look better in sauce."
---Lwaxana to Wesley commenting on the fish-like Antedians---
THE EMISSARY
Riker: "How did you like command?"
Worf: "Comfortable chair."
----Riker to Worf asking his opinion of command during the---
-attempt to fool the crew of the T'Ong that the Klingons were
---------------------------in power--------------------------
PEAK PERFORMANCE
Worf: "Just finished."
-------Worf to Riker after his entrance broke his model------
SHADES OF GRAY
Riker: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to
work."
Pulaski: "Not so fast, Commander. There still may be some
memory loss."
Troi: "We want to make sure you know who you are."
Riker: "Of course I know who I am. I'm captain Jean-luc
Picard of the starship Enterprise."
Picard: I'm delighted you're feeling better captain. The
admiral and I were beginning to get worried."
Data: "Captain, I do not believe you have the authority to
promote me to the rank of admiral.
-Riker and Picard after narrowly escaping death by triggering
---------------------------memories--------------------------
SEASON 3
EVOLUTION
Picard: "What in heaven's name?"
Data: "Stars and Stripes Forever by John Philip Sousa, an
18th century composer..."
Picard: "Yes, just shut it off!"
Picard and Data discussing the problem with the loud music on
-----------------the bridge caused by nanites----------------
THE ENSIGNS OF COMMAND
Wesley: "He wants the impossible."
Laforge: "That's the shorthand definition of captain."
---Wesley and Laforge discussing how to get the transporter--
---------------------------working---------------------------
THE SURVIVORS
Worf: "Good tea...Nice house."
-----------Worf making small talk at the Uxbridges-----------
WHO WATCHES THE WATCHERS?
Nuria: "What a wondrous place! Even the walls obey your
command!"
-The proto-Vulcan leader's, who thinks Picard is a god, first
---------------look at a door on the Enterprise--------------
THE BONDING
Laforge: "Let's just hope it doesn't blow us to kingdom come
while figuring out how to blow us to kingdom come."
-Laforge talking to himself while watching an energy pattern-
----------------------study engineering----------------------
BOOBY TRAP
Picard: "Good Lord, didn't anyone here play with ships in
bottles when they were boys?"
Worf: "I did not play with toys."
Data: "I was never a boy."
-Picard commenting on the similarities of the Promellion ship
--------------------and a ship in a bottle-------------------
THE ENEMY
Picard: "Put on your best poker face, number one."
----Picard to Riker about to attempt to bluff the Romulan----
--------------------------Commander--------------------------
THE PRICE
Picard: "Just put on any old thing."
---Picard trying to get Troi to come down to the reception---
THE VENGEANCE FACTOR
Data: "Captain, I am detecting life readings on the surface
as well as several small areas of thermal radiation and
carbon dioxide emissions indicative of combustion."
Wesley: "Campfires, Data."
Data: "Is that not what I said?"
--------------Data commenting on Gamma Hirami 2--------------
THE DEFECTOR
Data: "I was trying to ascertain what my guts tell me about
you."
-Data's response to Jarok's question "Why are you staring at-
-----------------------------me?"----------------------------
THE HUNTED
Laforge: "You want my advice? Double it!"
--Laforge to Worf trying to get him to put up more security--
THE HIGH GROUND
Finn: The difference between generals and terrorists, doctor,
is only the difference between winners and losers. You win,
you're called a general. You lose..."
----Ansata separatist leader Finn clarifying his position----
DEJA Q
Worf: "BE QUIET! Or disappear back where you came from."
Q: I can't disappear. Anymore than you could win a beauty
contest."
------------------Worf leading Q to the brig-----------------
A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE
Riker: "Her version puts a noose around my neck."
------Riker to Troi about the latest witness' testimony------
YESTERDAY'S ENTERPRISE
Picard: "Let's make sure history never forgets the name
`Enterprise'."
--Picard about to send Enterprise 1701-C into the time warp--
THE OFFSPRING
Lal: "He's biting that female!"
------Lal surprised to see a couple kiss in Ten Forward------
SINS OF THE FATHER
Worf: "It is a good day to die, and the day is not over yet."
------Worf to Duras, accepting the challenge made by him-----
ALLEGIANCE
Picard: "None! Your planet has been conquered six times!"
---Picard to Tholl astonished to believe he has no enemies---
CAPTAIN'S HOLIDAY
Picard: "Riker..."
--Picard on vacation at Risa when he learns the souvenir he--
-----------bought for Will is a symbol of sexuality----------
TIN MAN
DeSoto: "You getting soft aboard that luxury liner?"
----Captain DeSoto to Riker before disclosing orders from----
--------------------------Starfleet--------------------------
HOLLOW PURSUITS
Picard: "Sir, you have no sense of fair play!"
-Holodeck-generated fencing Picard to Riker after he deletes-
--------------------himself from the scene-------------------
THE MOST TOYS
Toff: "He falls well."
--Pelar Toff to Fajo after seeing a willful Data fall on the-
----------------------------couch----------------------------
SAREK
Wesley: "At least I don't have to find my women on the
holodeck!"
--Wesley to Geordi having their emotions disrupted by Sarek--
MENAGE A TROI
Picard: "Um, uh, uh, it's not over between us Lwaxana, um,
ah, you're mine, and, uh, I will not let you go, um, uh, I
insist you return to my side immediately."
Lwaxana: "You mean, You still care?"
Picard: "My love...is a fever. Longing still for that which
longer nurseth the disease."
Lwaxana: "Tell me more."
Picard: "In faith, I do not love thee with my eyes for they
in thee a thousand see, but tis my heart that loves what they
despise who in spite of you are pleased to dolt, shall I
compare thee to a summer's day thou art more lovely, more
temperate..."
----Picard trying to get Lwaxana Troi back from Daimon Tog---
TRANSFIGURATIONS
Worf: "Less talk...more synthehol."
-----Worf to Geordi who is unable to relax in Ten Forward----
THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS Part I
Picard: "What the hell are you still doing here?"
--Picard to Riker asking why he doesn't accept command of a--
---------------------------starship--------------------------
SEASON 4
THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS Part II
Locutus: "Your resistance is hopeless, number one."
-Locutus to Riker telling him that he knows everything Picard
----------------------------knows----------------------------
SUDDENLY HUMAN
Picard: "Oh no, Counselor. Oh no, Counselor!"
--Picard to Troi suggesting that he spend some time with the-
-----------------------------boy-----------------------------
BROTHERS
Data: "I am not...less perfect than Lore."
Lore: "(mocking voice) I am not less perfect than Lore."
Soong: "Enough! Both of you! Sit down!"
------------Sibling rivalry between Data and Lore------------
FAMILY
Riker: "You're just too damned efficient, Lt."
Worf: "Thank you, sir."
---------Riker to Worf about all the work he's doing---------
REMEMBER ME
Crusher: "If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's
something wrong with the universe."
---Crusher trying to figure out why people are disappearing--
LEGACY
Worf: "I suspect conspiracy."
-Worf complaining that Data and Riker are winning everything-
REUNION
K'Ehleyr: "Not even a bit a bite on the cheek for old time's
sake?"
---K'Ehleyr to Worf concerned about his disposition on her---
---------------------------arrival---------------------------
FUTURE IMPERFECT
Troi: "So what did you wish for, commander?"
Riker: "...Music lessons."
---------Troi to Riker after he blows out the candles--------
FINAL MISSION
Picard: "Oh yes, she looks like a very...very...sturdy
craft."
--------Picard to Captain Dirgo about his shuttlecraft-------
THE LOSS
Data: "An aggravated field of plain, polarized objects has
just appeared, and disappeared."
------------------Data checking his sensors------------------
DATA'S DAY
Data: "My hair does not require trimming, you lunkhead."
-------Data to Geordi experimenting with playful banter------
THE WOUNDED
O'Brien: "Sweetheart, I'm not a fish."
---------O'Brien to Keiko about her choice of dinner---------
DEVIL'S DUE
Data: "You are out of order."
Ardra: "Or this..."
Data: "The advocate will refrain from making her opponent
disappear."
---Data to Ardra when she causes an earthquake, then makes---
-----------------------Picard disappear----------------------
CLUES
Guinan: "And this is what you do for fun?"
-Guinan to Picard about the intense action in his Dixon Hill-
---------------------------scenario--------------------------
FIRST CONTACT
Riker: "Now will you help me?"
Lanel: "Only if you make love to me."
-------------Riker to the nurse trying to escape-------------
GALAXY'S CHILD
Crusher: "Captain, I'd like to announce the birth of a large,
baby something."
-----------Crusher after the C-section is a success----------
NIGHT TERRORS
Guinan: "That was setting number one. Anybody wanna see
number two?"
--------Guinan after a fight breaks out in Ten Forward-------
IDENTITY CRISIS
Data: "However I am strongly motivated to solve this
mystery."
---------Data to Crusher after she says he's nervous---------
THE NTH DEGREE
Picard: "Has Mr. Barclay done anything potentially
threatening."
Troi: "...He did make a pass at me last night. A good one."
SEASON 6
DESCENT Part I
Picard: "Transmit another copy of ship recognition protocol
to the New Berlin colony and tell them to read it this time."
-Picard about continuing mistakes of ship identification due-
----------------------to the Borg threat---------------------
SEASON 7
DESCENT Part II
Taitt: "But if your calculations are off slightly we'd hit
the atmosphere."
Barnaby: "Then I'll just have to make sure my calculations
are accurate."
---Ensign Taitt and Lt. Barnaby preparing to use metaphasic--
-------------shielding to get away from the Borg-------------
LIAISONS
Riker: "Besides, you look good in a dress."
----Riker to Worf about his complaints that the diplomatic---
------------------uniforms look like dresses-----------------
INTERFACE
Laforge: "I forgot what a handsome guy I am."
----Geordi looking at himself using a new probe interface----
GAMBIT Part I
Worf: "I told him we were looking for a man who impregnated
your daughter."
--------Worf to Riker, undercover, looking for Picard--------
GAMBIT Part II
Picard: "Number one, will you set a course for StarBase 227.
I'll join you on the bridge shortly."
Riker: Wait a minute. You've been declared dead. You can't
give orders around here."
Data: "If we are to adhere to the exact letter of StarFleet
regulations, then technically sir, you have been declared a
renegade. In fact, I believe you are facing 12 counts of
courtmartial offenses. You cannot give orders around here
either, sir."
Picard: "That's quite right. And as I am supposed to be dead,
I'll go and get some sleep, and Mr. Data, I suggest that you
escort Commander Riker to the brig."
Data: "Aye, sir...this way sir."
Riker: "Data, he was joking. You know that, right?...Data?
Data, Riker, and Picard after safely getting back onboard the
--------------------------Enterprise-------------------------
PHANTASMS
Data: "Will you take care or Spot for me?"
Worf: "Your animal..."
Data: "I am afraid that if I have another waking dream, I
might injure him."
Worf: "Of course. Spot, come here."
Data: "Unlike a canine, Spot does not respond to verbal
commands. Goodbye Spot. He will need to be fed once a day. He
prefers Feline Supplement #25."
Worf: "I understand."
Data: "And he will require water, and you must provide him
with a sandbox. And you must talk to him. Tell him he is a
pretty cat, and a good cat."
Worf: "I will feed him."
Data: "Perhaps that will be enough."
---------------Data to Worf about his cat, Spot--------------
DARK PAGE
Lwaxana Troi: "You stay away from my daughter!"
---------------Lwaxana to Riker talking to Troi--------------
ATTACHED
Riker: "I see you've done some redecorating."
--Riker to the Kes delegate about the strange devices in his-
----------------------------room-----------------------------
FORCE OF NATURE
Data: "This is down, down is good. This is up, up is no."
------------------Data trying to train Spot------------------
INHERITANCE
Juliana: "You didn't seem to object to being naked."
----------Data's mother describing Data's childhood----------
PARALLELS
Worf: "I am...old enough."
-----------------Worf to Picard about his age----------------
THE PEGASUS
Pressman: "I have a lot of friends at StarFleet command
captain."
Picard: "You're going to need them."
----------Admrl. Pressman, being arrested, to Picard---------
HOMEWARD
Worf: "It is the sign of Laforge."
--Worf trying to come up with a way to explain the holodeck--
-------------------------malfunction-------------------------
SUB ROSA
Picard: "In the meantime, I think I'll go get my jacket."
-----Picard about the error in the environmental controls----
LOWER DECKS
Riker: "Why don't we just give everybody a promotion and call
it a night, Commander."
Troi: "Fine with me, Captain."
------Troi and Riker tired of doing the crew evaluations-----
THINE OWN SELF
Tolourous: "I'm sure my grandmother would have called our
friend here a demon, or a spirit, or some sort of monster,
but proved scientific methodology allows us to dismiss such
ridiculous superstitions and concentrate on scientific
reality."
Data: "Then what do you believe I am?"
Tolourous: "You are an iceman."
-The doctor and amnesiac Data after his physical examination-
MASKS
Riker: "I think we'd better talk out here, the observation
lounge has turned in to a swamp."
-----Riker about the continuing changes to the Enterprise----
EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
Troi: "Well, you know what they say Mr. Worf. Hell hath no
fury like a woman scorned."
-----Troi to Worf after he asks who killed him in Troi's-----
------------------------hallucination------------------------
GENESIS
Crusher: "He was transformed into a spider and now he has a
disease named after him."
Troi: "I think I'd better clear my calendar for the next few
weeks."
------------Beverly to Deanna after Barclay leaves-----------
JOURNEY'S END
Crusher: "Now you be sure and dress warmly on those other
plains of existence."
------Crusher to Wesley before he goes with the Traveler-----
FIRSTBORN
Worf: "As time passes it is inevitable for a boy to become a
man, but what is not inevitable is that a man becomes a
sword."
-Worf to Alexander talking about the first rite of ascension-
BLOODLINES
Picard: "But one thing is clear, you'll never look at your
hairline the same way again."
-----------Picard to his "son" about his past life-----------
EMERGENCE
Data: "I encountered a minor difficulty, counselor, but is
has been dealt with."
-Data to Troi while holding back a car from running him over-
PREEMPTIVE STRIKE
Ro: "It was really nice meeting you."
--------Ro to a barfly after passionately kissing him--------
ALL GOOD THINGS... Part I
Crusher: "Personally I think you just like waking us up in
the middle of the night."
Picard: "Actually, I just like running around the ship in my
bare feet."
----Crusher to Picard after she tests him for any signs of---
--------------------temporal displacement--------------------
ALL GOOD THINGS... Part II
Q: "Goodbye Jean-luc. You had such potential, but then all
things must come to an end."
----------Q to Picard just before the ship explodes----------
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