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Prize Magazine #3
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THE PRIZE
Newsletter of the Watchers Of CI$
APRIL, 1783
ISSUE #3 -- PARIS IS LOVELY IN SPRINGTIME
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NOTES FROM THE EDITOR'S CAGE
Rollin' rollin' rollin', though the streams are swollen, keep those immies
rollin' --
Here we are at our third issue of THE PRIZE. And you said it wouldn't last... :)
Circulation of THE PRIZE #1 was well over 150 CI$ downloads and several known
hardcopy exchanges. Circulation of THE PRIZE #2 has already topped the 100 mark.
Believe me, I'm the most surprised of all to see that. My god, what have I set
loose upon the world...
April in Paris and the saps are rising: collected herein is an April Fool's Day
worth of mayhem. First we take you on a tour of Duncan's Dustbin -- the
HIGHLANDER Episodes That Should Never Be Made.
Next, our best heads have come together at the Dugout to bring you their
attempts at that legendary concoction, Sully's Blue Spooze (named for the
pyrotechnics at the end of THE FIGHTER). Try these at your own risk, folks.
And so long as we're on the subject of ridiculous 'foodstuffs'... the Editor has
roped and branded a recipe for the legendary haggis. Again, try this at your own
risk, folks.
The ferocity of the Scots in battle is well documented. Perhaps, though, it's
just that those bagpipes have driven them mad...
In a moment of (semi)seriousness, Aldin's version of the Rules and Laws of
Immortality appears reprinted here.
For newcomers to our brand of Watching, I've compiled a short glossary of some
common terms and abbreviations one encounters on any extended journey into our
communal vision of hell.
And to complete April's heathen bacchanalia, we bring you our ever-expanding
list of Officers of the Watchers.
I refuse to be held responsible for anyone taking the contents of this month's
issue at all seriously.
-- Samantha Lynn, 73524,43
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HIGHLANDER: THE LOST EPISODES
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We've been looking into our crystal balls, and I must say, some of them are
downright cracked. Warning: I refuse to be held responsible if any of these *do*
turn up on a TV screen near you...
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The fiendish crossovers --
HIGHLANDER COURT REPORTER: By day, the mild-mannered court reporter sits
quietly in front of the bench, taking down testimony. By night, she becomes a
Scottish martial arts expert who operates outside the law -- no one can figure
out where she got her instinct for locating trouble spots.
-- CATHRYN BAUER-KAHN (blaming her husband)
QUANTAM HIGHLANDER: Sam leaps into an evil immortal who is in the process of
coming after Duncan's head.
-- CAROLE L. BAKER
TREKLANDER WARS: "I am Data Soong of the Clan Soong. I was activated 10 years
ago, and I am Immortal. Now is the time of the Trekking, when the stroke of a
lightsaber will release the power of the Quickening. In the end, there can be
only sequels."
FOREVER HIGHLANDER: The reason Horton keeps showing up isn't because he's an
Immortal, it's because he's Undead. Eventually Duncan chases him to Toronto,
where a Police Detective named Nick Knight takes an interest. . . .
-- MARTIN HIGGINS
HIGHLANDER SHADOWS I: Having taken the proverbial wrong turn at Albuquerque, a
buried immortal resurfaces at Collinwood and terrorizes the neighborhood.
-- SHERI RICHARDSON
HIGHLANDER SHADOWS II: Angelique keeps popping back up to make more trouble
because she's an immortal. Her voodoo teacher conjured her up as a baby,
y'see...
-- SAMANTHA LYNN
and the merely bad episodes --
UNDER THE HILL: Duncan takes an immortal in an abandoned building and finds a
baby amongst her effects. The immortal's papers lead him to a ring of child-
stealing immortals -- but not to the baby's parents...
-- SAMANTHA LYNN
PER ARDUA AD ASTRA: Duncan boards this rocket for Zeist....
-- SHERI RICHARDSON
SMASHING GRASSHOPPERS: Duncan encounters Kwai-Chang Caine in a flashback.
DOUBLE TROUBLE: Richie is house-sitting the barge, with Beth, when Duncan comes
home early at the wrong time. Duncan is astonished... Then, Duncan visits
Richie's place and accidentally picks up the phone extension only to overhear a
steamy conversation between Richie and Renee!
-- CATHRYN BAUER-KAHN
FAERIE RING: Duncan and Connor find out that their mother *is* a Fairy Princess.
-- BARB GALLER-SMITH
MAC AND MAC: Duncan mistakes MacGyver for a Hunter, with tragic results.
-- BILL O'BRIEN
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THE DRINKS ARE ON DUNCAN...
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The Editor, being of somewhat delicate digestion and overly fond of the top of
her head, has declined to try any of these hypothetical formulas for Sully's
Blue Spooze. Field-testing reports from adventurous volunteers would be much
appreciated...
MARTIN HIGGINS suggests:
1 part Blue Curaco
4 parts Milk
(sounds like a hideous combo to me, but it might work)
OR
1 part vodka
4 parts Blue Hawaiian Punch
crushed ice
Place in a blender, blend till smooth. Should come out something like
a frozen Daquiri. I think.
OR
Oh, so you want to experience a Quickening from slugging the stuff down, huh?
<G> Ok, 1 part vodka, 1 part blue Hawaiian Punch (or Kool Aid for the real
hard-core <G>)... Or how about
1 part vodka
1 part blue Curaco
1 part pineapple juice
crushed ice
Blend until smooth.
SHERI RICHARDSON's formula for Blue Spooze:
2 oz. Bacardi 151
5 drops blue food coloring
Simple, elegant, to the point. (Though I'm certain some fern bar would
add lime juice to cloud the thing.)
KIM CRAWFORD brings us the Texas Blue Spooze:
6 oz 100 proof vodka
2 oz shredded coconut
2 drops blue food coloring (any old food coloring will do)
a helluvalot of ice
(liddle paper umbrellie is optional)
Let the coconut float on top...drink with a straw...then eat the
vodka-soaked coconut when it's done...THEN...have another!! :)
And for the Designated Drivers in the party, SAMANTHA LYNN provides:
1 part 7-up (or ginger ale, though 7-up is a prettier effect)
1 part berry-blue jell-o
Freeze the jell-o into slush as it is setting and spoon in in place of
ice cubes...
[The Immortals among our readers may wish to try these in conjunction with the
"Highlander Drinking Game", which appears in the file HIFAQS.TXT in this
library. -- SL]
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"...AND WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?"
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The haggis is a reclusive creature that lives deep in the uncharted Highlands of
Scotland. Occasionally, one wanders too near the lonely roads and promptly
manages to get itself run over. When this happens, tradition demands that the
slayer of the haggis take it home and eat it. At least, this is what I imagine
has been going on, as there seems no other reasonable excuse to eat a haggis.
Here, for the unlucky traveller, are the disposal instructions for the legendary
highland haggis.
1 sheep's stomach, large
1 ea. sheep's heart, liver & pr. lungs
3/4 lb. beef suet
3/4 cup beef or lamb stock
3/4 cup toasted oatmeal
2 lg. onions, chopped
salt & pepper
cayenne pepper, just a pinch
miscellaneous spices to hand
needle and thread
Glenmorangie, sufficient to forget the nature of the above
Wash the unfortunate sheep's stomach thoroughly and set it aside, turned
inside-out. In cold water to cover boil the heart, liver and lungs until tender,
approximately 1 hour. Mince the boiled heart and lungs finely, and grate the
liver. Mix the onions and suet into the resultant substances with the spices.
Find the sheep's stomach (you do still have the sheep's stomach...) and
fill it loosely with the mixture. You *must* allow plenty of room for the
oatmeal to expand; exploding haggi are a leading cause of death among amateur
cooks. 'Burp' any excess air out of the stomach and sew it closed.
The haggis, for such it has become, now goes into a pot of boiling water
for about three hours. As it begins to swell you would do well to prick plenty
of steam-vents in your haggis with the needle or a small sharp knife.
Serve hot with mashed turnips and potatoes, and quantities of Scotch.
Should one desire to make the haggis ahead and reheat it in the oven at
the time of use, this is best done with it wrapped in foil to preclude the
escape of the contents should rupture occur.
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And so long as we're off the subject:
Why do bagpipers walk while they play? To get away from the noise...
BAGPIPE CHANTER - = Closed
FINGERING O = Open G A B C D E F G A
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LEFT HAND THUMB - - - - - - - - O
1ST FINGER - - - - - - - O O
2ND FINGER - - - - - - O O O
3RD FINGER - - - - - O O O -
RIGHT HAND 1ST FINGER - - - - O - - - -
2ND FINGER - - - O O - - - -
3RD FINGER - - O O O - - - -
LITTLE FINGER - O O - - O O O O
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ALDIN summarizes the Known Rules of Immortal Conduct:
The LAWS are...
1)Thou shalt know when an immie draweth near
2)Thou shalt behead an immie to off him/her
3)Thou shalt receive a quickening from an immie that you off
4)Thou shalt not defile holy ground
5)There can be only One
The RULES are...
1)Don't tell mortals what you are (loose rule, exceptions are made)
2)Don't involve anyone else in an immie confrontation (Xavier is currently
breaking this one)
3)Don't have long, close relationships with another immie (anyone want to
challenge this one? I've never seen an exception.)
[The Editor adds: Law #6) Thou shalt not be fruitful and multiply. -- SL]
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A brief glossary of the body of lore our CI$ Watchers have accreted:
GEORGE -- another name for Charlie
HL -- tag for HIGHLANDER threads that "drift" up to the Con Suite
IMMIE -- Immortal
INVISO-SWORD -- where *do* they keep them?
KYH -- Keep Your Head
MAA or Martial Arts Abilities -- Duncan's most notable feature
MS. CID -- Renee, the CID agent in UNHOLY ALLIANCE
PRE-IMMIE -- a potential but not yet activated Immortal
RAMBORICHIE -- an abomination against nature, last seen heading for Texas
SACWOTW -- Sexually Aggressive Career Woman Of The Week (see MS. CID)
SMC or Sterling Moral Character -- the polite way to say we're thinking of
everything but Duncan's mind
SPOOZE or BLUE SPOOZE -- the visible discharge at the end of some Quickenings
TCBOO -- There Can Be Only One
TWWSNN or That Which We Shall Not Name -- for some time it has been rumored that
there is in fact a second HIGHLANDER film in existence. We choose to
discount this rumor.
YAHIS -- Yet Another Highlander Inviso-Sword
YAHOO -- Yet Another Highlander Odd Occurrence
(Ww), (KotG), etc -- officers' abbreviated titles (see below)
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Our Officers' List:
Samantha Lynn -- the Goddess
Helva Peters -- Librarian
Cathryn Bauer-Kahn -- the Doorkeeper
Martin Higgins -- Head Protector of Heads
Mary-Elizabeth Peters -- Agent Provocateur
Kim Crawford -- Watcher watcher and Keeper of the George
Barb Galler-Smith -- Special Agent of Quickenings, assistant Doorkeeper
Sheri Richardson -- Keeper of the Connor Flame
Laura DiDio -- Defender of Duncan's ...Honor
Gary Scharf -- Sharpener of Swords
Liz P. -- Watcher of the Ponytail
Bill O'Brien -- the Eggman
Ben Roberto -- Treasurer
Aldin -- Punster
Official positions are awarded at the discretion of the Goddess.
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The 1st EVER Official HIGHLANDER Convention.
Date: October 7, 8 and 9
The Regency Hotel, Denver, CO
Guests:
Adrian Paul, Stan Kirsch and Bill Panzer (Exec. Producer).
For info, send SASE to: The Gathering
PO Box 123
Aurora, CO 80040-0123
or, call: Krystmas Tarr (303) 363-1792
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"I love it that Mac has a Mac; that makes him *two* kinds of 'hacker' -- with a
sword and on a computer."
--Helva Peters
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THE UNCLASSIFIED ADS
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In this library [SF/FANTASY #10] -- CASTLE.GIF, CONNOR.GIF, DUNCAN.GIF,
GRAVE.GIF, HAGGIS.GIF, MAA.GIF, PEACOC.GIF, WET.GIF, and SMC01.GIF through
SMC03.GIF -- Assorted Graphics Import Format stills from the film and series.
In this library -- HIFAQS.TXT: Text file containing a wealth of Highlander
information. Reposted from Internet with permission of the author.
In this library -- HITIME.TXT -- the most recent revision of Helva's Monster
Timeline. This supersedes the versions in THE PRIZE #1 and #2.
In this library -- TARTAN.GIF: GIF format swatches of the MacLeod tartans.
In this forum, library #9, "SF/Fantasy Film" -- HIGHLA.GIF, HL06.GIF and
HL07.GIF: GIF format stills from the film.
In the Mac Entertainment Forum, Library 7, "Movie Sounds" -- HL20.SIT through
HL25.SIT: Macintosh format sound files from the film. Also, EDITED.SEA and its
splits CONNOR.SEA, KURGAN.SEA, and RAMIRE.SEA: edited versions of the same.
HARDCOPY BACK ISSUES of THE PRIZE are now available from the Editor for US$2.00
to cover photocopying and postage. Contact the Snailing address below.
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FINE PRINT
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THE PRIZE is a house organ of the Watchers Of CI$. We are not funded by anybody
or sanctioned by anybody. If we get in trouble, I'm changing my name and moving
to Kuala Lumpur.
The Watchers of CI$ are a floating pool of HIGHLANDER fans on the Compuserve
Information Service. We make no claims to official status or knowledge, but we
know what we like.
We hereby absolve Compuserve Information Services of all blame for the content
of this newsletter.
THE PRIZE may be freely distributed in hardcopy form ONLY across the seven seas
of space so long as no alterations are made to the text thereof, save any
required translations into languages other than the original American English.
Any violations of this caveat will result in the wrath of the Goddess and more
importantly the wrath of CI$, so please don't spoil our fun.
The Watchers of CI$ exist on the Compuserve Information Service. For info on the
network and the SF Forum (where the SF TV section containing HIGHLANDER is),
call 1-800-848-8990 and ask for representative 186.
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Here are the addresses that will accept mail for the series:
Rysher TPE, 3400 Riverside Drive, Suite 600, Burbank, CA 91505.
Please write Keith Samples at this address and tell him we want a third season.
SSA Public Relations, 15060 Ventura Blvd., Suite 360, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403
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This issue's contributors:
CATHRYN BAUER-KAHN - 72734,1403
CAROLE L. BAKER - 73614,2036
MARTIN HIGGINS - 72223,3441
SHERI RICHARDSON - 70703,2746
BARB GALLER-SMITH - 73733,1315
BILL O'BRIEN - 72241,765
KIM CRAWFORD - 75230,2250
ALDIN - 72644,2653
HELVA PETERS - 71321,502
and myself, the eternal Goddess Samantha.
E-Mail - Compuserve 73524,43
SnailMail - C/O Judy Kunz, Kibby Labs, 25235 Dequindre, Madison Hts. MI 48071
Computers by Apple Computer
Quickenings by the Gods of Ragnarok
For Entertainment Purposes Only
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HIGHLANDER, for those of you just tuning in (the rest of you could skip this
bit), is a television series based somewhat loosely upon a film of the same
name, concerning a man from 1500's Scotland who discovers that he is immortal,
and cannot die. There are others like him, he finds, and they are engaged in a
fight to the last immortal, for the power of the Prize. In the end, there can
be only one.
The movie and the series diverge at this point: in the film, our man is Connor
MacLeod (Christopher Lambert), and he lives at the time of the last days, the
Gathering, when all the remaining immortals are coming together for the fight to
the death.
In the series, however, our immortal hero is Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul)--
"Same clan, different vintage" -- and the Gathering is not yet at hand. Duncan's
task is to keep his head from week to week.
For that is the only way to slay an immortal. From any wound but one, even unto
death, they will recover -- but "if your head comes away from your neck, it's
over." So says Connor's immortal mentor, Ramirez (Sean Connery).
-- THE PRIZE, Issue #1
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WATCH YOUR HEAD
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