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MUPPETS FUCKING FOR JESUS! December 4, 1996 Issue

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F U C K I N G F O R J E S U S

December 4, 1996 / Issue 5

"Art is whatever the artist says it is."
- Andy Warhol


in this MUPPETS FUCKING FOR JESUS! --

(a) Submissions
(b) A Modest Proposal (An Essay by Jonathan Swift)
© The Organ Trade (from "Sell Yourself to Science" by Jim Hogshire)
(d) Abolish All Prisons! (from the Boston Anarchist Drinking Brigade)
(e) Anti-Christmas Action
(f) A Celebration of Sex (A-Zone Closing Party)
(g) Over & Out

Submissions --

MFFJ! is an anarchist e-rag outta Toledo, OH(the broken glass city). We're
looking for new writers and submissions of any kind which can be uploaded to
Cove of Paradise(CoP) at 419-878-7151 in the 'MFFJ Submissions' base. We're
also still looking for an ASCII logo. In any case, new issues of MFFJ! can
be found on CoP and any other quality system.
MFFJ Staff

P.S. Staff apologizes for this issue being about a week late.

A Modest Proposal --

A Modest Proposal for preventing the children of poor people from
being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial
to the public.
It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town
when they see the streets crowded with beggars. Having turned my thoughts
upon this important subject, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which is
wholly new, and of no expense. I shall now therefore humbly propose my own
thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing American, that a young healthy
child well nursed is a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether
stewed, roasted, baked, or broiled, annd I make no doubt that it will equally
serve in a fricassee or ragout.
I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefor very proper for
landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to
have the best title to the children.
Besides having a new dish introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of
fortune, the money will circulate among ourselves, the goods being entirely of
our own manufacture.
Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the constant
breeders gain by the sale of their children. This would be a great inducement
to marriage. And it would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward
their children.
Men would become as fond of their wives during pregnancy as they are
now of their cows in calf, their sows when they are ready to farrow.
I desire those who dislike my overture to attempt the impossibility of
paying rent without money or trade. I profess I have not the least interest in
endeavoring to promote this necessary work. But I have no other motive than
the public good of my country, by providing for infants, relieving the poor,
and giving some pleasure to the rich.

Essay by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

- The Organ Trade

This article is taken from "Sell Yourself to Science" by Jim Hogshire
and published by Loompanics Unlimited. This book is a great guide to selling
your organs, bodily functions, testing medications, etc. You can get it from
the library to. <grin> here we go...

Brain Dead But Still Body Alive

If you are unfortunate enough to have a relative who is being kept alive
mechanically, you will also be unfortunate enough to hear some of the
"metaphoric" descriptions of how the person appears to be alive, but is not.
Among those I have seen are:
To describe a corpse on a ventilator:
"It's true your daughter's heart is beating and she's warm, but that
doesn't mean that she is still in her body. The body is like a house. And
the heart is like a furnace. A furnace can still be on, even when no one is
at home any longer."
Worse imagery comes up if the body still possesses some reflex motions.
Here are a couple of gems I've run across:
"You know how your muscles twitch as you relax and go to sleep. What you
saw is a reflex motion. It's the body's way of relaxing into death." Or:
"It's like when someone dives off a diving board. The board continues to
move after they've left it and are in the air. Jimmy is no longer in his
body."
Or my favorite:
"If you've ever taken Carol swinging, you know how swings still move
after children have jumped out of them. Carol's body is like an empty swing."
When they [the body snatchers] start talking like this you know they're
serious.

How to Deal

One of the best things to do is simply give permission, obtain promises
that you won't be billed for organ removal and that the body won't be
mutilated and go home. Having a loved one die suddenly (as is often the case)
is traumatic in the extreme. The thought of trying to make money off it
should be sickening. On the other hand, people do buy cemetery plots before
death and try to get a good deal. They just do it while they're still
healthy. Once again, the time to think about organ vending is prior to death,
not when you're grief-stricken. If you don't make plans for this kind of
hard-nosed wheeling and dealing now, I urge you to forget it. Do not try to
hammer out business deals over dead relatives in such an extreme situation.
In this case, please donate or don't donate and be done with it. You've got
far more important things to occupy your thoughts and emotions than money.
That having been said, let's look at a strategy for dealing.
The first thing you should try for is forgiveness of any outstanding
hospital bills. The procurer may be in a good position to arrange this. Not
only is this the easiest way to "buy" organs, since no money changes hands and
any "losses" incurred by the hospital are smaller than whatever you owe them,
this is highly possible. Besides, it may only be that you owe the hospital a
few thousand or even a few hundred dollars.
This method has the added benefit of letting you avoid the pain later on
when the bill comes. It's amazing, but for all their soppy death metaphors
and "we understand what you're going through"s the hospital will be very
stubborn about letting you off the hook for any amount of money. You've got
to be just as stubborn.
I would suggest that you make it clear that they can have all the organs
they want, IF THEY WILL JUST LET YOU GO HOME AND NOT BOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
Don't say anything about money directly. Tell them, yes, yes, you can have
little Carol's heart, corneas, whatever--just don't compound the pain by
billing me for anything. Stress that you don't want to be billed for
ANYTHING. You just want to go home and begin grieving with your family and
not have to think about this any longer.
If the conversation is taking place on the phone, tape record it. If
it's in person, personalize it. Look straight into the procurer's eyes and
make a deal. Call him or her by name, make it clear that you understand that
you will not be responsible for ANY costs concerning little Carol's empty
swing. Not the ambulance ride, not the failed operation, not the
complimentary drink they offered you. Present it as a matter of grief. You
don't want to be bothered with this any more. You couldn't bear to go to the
mailbox one day and see a staggering bill for Carol's empty swing. Suddenly
you would be forced to think of her death and worse...her parting out.
This is a reasonable request. After all, the hospital is about to make
perhaps half a million bucks off your loved one--all you want is not to have
to pay for a failed operation, not to have to deal with this loss over a
period of months while you struggle to pay off the debt. If it is at all
possible, get some kind of promise in writing, even if it's something
scribbled on a napkin. Get the person's name. If they've made a deal with
you, this will serve to prove it later. Even though the deal is illegal, the
person may realize the best thing to do is comply rather than risk job
loss/prosecution for "buying" organs from a hysterical relative who was
clearly under duress.
Depending on who has died, your sense of humor and the kind of
relationship you had with the dead person, you might want to see if you can do
better. Keep in mind that it is illegal to pay people for their organs. But
go ahead and try. Maybe you can visualize little Carol up in heaven laughing
as her mom or dad jacks the body snatchers around? In this case, you've got
to get the money or whatever you want right then and there and then leave the
hospital. Do not accept checks. Your bargaining position disappears the
minute you sign the consent forms (or the minute you alienate the procurers so
much with your callous avarice that they say "fuck it" to little Carol's
corneas).
Look around for something. Maybe that kindly nurse with her non-
threatening body language is sporting a pair of diamond earrings. Maybe
Father O'Flagherty is wearing a Rolex. How much cash can they scare up in the
next hour or so? In the next twenty minutes?
This is a harsh, harsh method of making money and you really should only
do it if you have prepared yourself ahead of time. Just know that you can do
it. Organs are literally worth millions of dollars, but only for a short
period of time.

- Abolish All Prisons!

This piece was written and released by the Boston Anarchist Drinking
Brigade(BAD Brigade).

Abolish All Prisons!

The federal, state and local governments in the US are in the
business of locking up huge numbers of people. There are over 48,000
persons in federal prisons, twice the number in 1980, and 577,000 in state
prisons. There are 235 prisoners for every 100,000 US citizens, with the
prison population growing 15 times faster than the general population.
Authorities all over the country are building more prisons and planning to
lock up more and more people, with a projection of a federal prison
population of 147,000 within 12 years. Despite this, violent crime,
especially murders of young black and hispanic men in large cities, is
increasing daily, with an accompanying increase in police harassment and
violence. additionally, large numbers of prisoners (49% in Massachusetts)
end up back in jail after they serve their time because they return to
their prior activities. Locking people up does not prevent or deter crime,
and does not keep those locked up from repeating their offenses.

Punishment, not rehabilitation, is clearly the mission of prisons. In
prison, besides being deprived of their freedom to move about as they
please, people are abused and harassed by both guards and other prisoners.
They are treated as children are usually treated in outside society, and
then expected to behave like responsible adults at the end of their
sentences. Prisoners are forced to work for no or minimal pay and are often
coerced into working in especially dangerous, and sometimes fatal work,
like fighting fires and cleaning up oil spills. Beating, raping,
intimidating, enslaving and infantilizing people produces not caring, non-
violent people, but angry, hostile, often violence-prone ones. Besides
being ineffective in preventing crime, abusing people who commit crimes is
unjust. When escaped prisoners are found years later living crime-free
lives under new names, demonstrating that they have reformed, they are
usually returned to prison to finish their sentences, and even have years
added on as punishment for escaping. This is nothing but vengefulness on
the part of cops and courts, not an attempt to protect others from
criminals. Whatever offenses people have committed, it is inhuman and
vicious to turn around and abuse them in turn. There are other, more just
and less cruel ways to deal with people who are now locked up.

Most people in prison are there for committing offenses not involving
violence, and many of these are there for activities that harm no one, or
least no one other than themselves, in any way, and should not be of any
concern to the government or any one else. Many people are in jail for
selling, using, or transporting illegal drugs, engaging in or soliciting
for sex in exchange for money, or having consensual sex with people younger
than themselves, of the same sex as themselves, or in ways of which the
state disapproves. These activities are non-coercive and non-violent and
should not be the business of anyone but the participants. Violence is
sometimes associated with some of these activities, but that is because the
government has illegalized them and driven them underground.
Decriminalizing these voluntary activities would solve that problem. As for
those offenses involving harm to a person, but not violence, like robbery,
some sort of restitution makes more sense than imprisonment.

Even for those who have committed violence against other people,
prison is clearly not the solution. It does not deter murder, rape,
battery, etc, and may in fact promote their repetition. The only way to
prevent violent crime is to enable people to defend themselves against it.
One way to accomplish this is to eliminate anti-gun laws so that people can
defend themselves against others who may attack them. Relying on police has
been shown to be ineffective in preventing violence against people, and the
existence of these police forces has been used as a justification for
disarming individuals, especially poor and/or black people. Besides this,
police themselves are responsible for much of the violence against people
that occurs. Handgun possession, especially by women, has been shown to be
an effective deterrent to violent crime. When Orlando, Florida conducted a
program where 6000 women learned to use and carried handguns and the
program was widely publicized, the incidence of rape there dropped 90% at a
time when rape was dramatically increasing elsewhere.

Like most statist institutions, prisons are both ineffective and
unjust. the only humane way to deal with the problem of prisons is to
abolish them, and allow people, as individuals or in groups, according to
their own preference, to organize their own self-defense against violence
and theft.

Anti-Christmas Action --

Christmas has evolved from a pagan holiday(winter solstice) to a
christian holiday, to a celebration of capitalism and consumerism. Tons of
money is thrown away every Christmas..and to who? Big corporations, giant
department store chains, and lots of other people we don't like. We'll be
organizing an anti-consumerism stand at the Franklin Park Mall, sponsored
by the Collective Formerly Known as A-Zone and MFFJ! We'll be wrapping and
handing out board games, toys, and other miscellaneous neat stuff from the
a-zone in the food court and in other parts of the mall. If you're interested
in joining in the Anti-Christmas Action project, show up at the A-Zone around
6pm on Friday the 13th(December). Hope to see you there! (242-5692 for info)

A Celebration of Sex (A-Zone Closing Party) --

the toledo autonomous zone presents a celebration of

SEX

friday, december 13 we love
9:30 pm - ??? wilhelm reich!!!
1720 Jefferson
242-5692 = infoline absolutely FREE!

before we close our current location and move on to bigger and better
projects, we thought we'd have one last wild party. this shindig is
about fulfilling basic desires that our society actively works to repress-
we aren't playing on people's insecurities for profit- like the media and
the porn industry- this is about free-thinking, fun loving people hooking
up and satisfying their impulses. This evening is set up to encourage fun
and frisky interactions between members of our community. Erotic art by
local artists will also be on display, if you're interested in displaying
something, please call us. You will not be bothered by people who you are
not interested in-- no drunk morons will invade your space, even for a
chat(no drunk moron policy will be enforced. <grin>) you WILL enjoy this
event!!!

JUST SAY YES!

Over & Out --

We're still looking for submissions of any kind for future MFFJ!s,
so if you've got something to contribute, gimme. have a good one.

MFFJ Staff
 
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