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CTC #1 April 1995 - The Art Of The Steal - Corelli
April 1995 Corellian
#1 Trade Corps
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
This Is Issue Number One Of The Corellian Trade Corps Compuzine. Many Of The
Topics Discussed Here Are Illegal And Could Get You In A Lot Of Shit, So Just
Watch Your Ass. Just Remember That Paranoia Is A Good Thing, And Try Not To
Get Yourself Blown Up. This Is Another Fine Product Brought To You By The
Corellian Trade Corps. For Recreational Purposes Only.
Feel Free To Distribute This File In Its Original, Unmodified Form.
Issue #1 - The Art Of The Steal
1 - Scoping Out The Place
2 - Breaking And Entering
3 - Laptop Techniques Part 1
4 - The Fine Art Of Looting
5 - Shoplifting
6 - Hydrogen
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
''''''''''''''''S c o p i n g O u t T h e P l a c e''''''''''''''''''''
This Is About Scoping Out A House, Residence, Or Other Establishment Before
You Burglarize It. The Type Of House You Wnat To Break Into Depends Highly On
What Kind Of Shit You Plan To Do. For Instance, If You Just Want To Hook Up A
Modem To Their Phone Line To Download Files From Long Distance Or To Do Some
Hacking, Then You Want To Find A Small Shitty Run-Down House Or Trailer Where
Poor People Live. These Homes Will Have Little Or No Security Or Alarms Which
Are Expensive, And The Area Isn't Patrolled As Regularly By The Police As The
Rich Neighborhoods. Now This Is Only For Phreaking Purposes, Or For Calling A
Long Distance Number Or Board. The Phone Line Will Work Great,But Don't Go In
Expecting To Find A Bunch Of Expensive Jewelry.
If You Are Looking To Make A Profit, Then You Will Have To Upgrade To A More
Expensive Home. With That, Comes A Greater Risk Of Being Caught And Running
Into Things Like Alarms And Silent Alarms, Even Video Cameras. Also, Wealthy
People Are More Likely To Call The Police Over Even The Smallest Detail, So
You Have To Be Really Careful.
Nonetheless, Whatever The Place Happens To Be, You Need To Spend A Good Deal
Of Time Scoping It Out And Observing It Before You Break In. First, Casually
Observe Who Lives There, How Many People There Are And How Old They Are. If
There Are Small Children, Then You Know They Have To Go To School During The
Week. High School Ages Are Hard To Judge, Because Unless They Are The Really
Straight-A Academic Types, They Are Prone To Skipping School To Smoke Dope Or
To Stay Home And Hack Or Watch Tv, Or Fuck, Or Whatever. This Means That You
Will Have To Actually Watch Them Leave The House To Know They Are Not Home.
Unless Of Course They Drive To School, In Which Case You Can Check To See If
The Car Is There. The Older People May Or May Not Have A Steady Job. Watch To
See If They Leave And Come Home At The Same Time Every Day. See If One Of The
Parents Stays Home. See If There Are Retired Or Elderly People There. If So,
Then Count On Them Being Home.
Now After You Have Assessed When Certain People Are Home On A Regular Basis,
Find Out When The Best Time To Strike Will Be. This Should Be The Longest
Period Of Time In Which There Is No-One Home. Preferably At Least Three Hours
But The More The Better.
Keep In Mind That People Are Stupid, And Often Forget Their Wallet, Purse,
Briefcase, Security Badge, Etc. Etc. And Will Be Gone For 10 Minutes And Then
Remember They Forgot Something And Then Come Back For It. So After The Last
Person Has Left The House, Wait About 45 Minutes To An Hour Before Breaking
In. This Makes Sure That Whoever Is Gone Is Going To Stay Gone.
Now, Another Part Of The Pre-Break-In Research Is To Find Out What You Are
Going To Steal BEFORE You Break In. Observe The Lifestyle Of The Residents.
Are They Rich, Poor, Snobby 90210 Types... Does Mr. Jones Wear A 3-Piece To
And Carry A Briefcase? Are They Dope-Dealers Or Drug Addicts? Do They Drive
A Police Car And Wear A Funny-Looking Blue Shirt And Pants And Carry Around
A Gun? All This Will Give You Information On What Kind Of Shit You Can Hope
To Find Once You Are Inside.
If They Sit Their Trash Bags On The Curb At Night For The Trash-Man, Swing
By The Night Before Trash-Day And Snag The Bags. Look Through Them For Any
Shit That Might Be Useful. A Recent Receipt From Computerland Tells You More
Than I Care To Go Into Here, But You Might Want To Bring A Really Big Duffel
Bag Or A Screwdriver Or A Disk Full Of Viruses, Etc. Etc.
Common Trash Is Full Of Receipts, Wrappers, Packaging, User's Manuals, And
Virtually Everything Else. One Bag Of Trash Can Tell You Everything That The
Bastards Purchased Last Week.
You Might Also Want To Look At Their Mail. You Don't Have To Take Anything
But Just Looking At Who Sent It Can Help. You Can Snag The Letters That Say
MasterCard And Visa Or A Local Bank For Obvious Reasons. The New Issue Of
Playboy That Was Just Delivered Is A Bad Idea To Snag. Mr. Jones Will Notice
It Missing And Get Suspicious.
There Are Also Good Ways To Tell When The Jones Family Is Away On Vacation.
Watch The Mailbox. If Mail Goes A Few Days Without Being Removed From The Box
Then They Are Probably Away For A Week Or To. You Can Also Buy A Local Paper
And Roll It Up And Leave It Outside Of Their Door. If It Goes For A Couple Of
Days Without Being Removed, The People Are Probably Not Home. Then You Can
Take One Of The Flyers That You Get In The Mail. The Ones That Come In Those
Val-U-Paks Are The Best. Tape One Of The Flyers To Their Front Door And See
See If It Stays There For A Day Or Two.
There Is A Local Carpet Cleaning Place That Does This WIth Their Flyers, And
I Always See A Bunch Of Apartments With These Flyers On The Door For Over Two
Weeks.
Having Observed The Place For A Good Amount Of Time, And Being Absolutely
Positive That No-One Is Home, You Need To Take A Few Last Minute Precautions.
As I Said Before, Wait 45 Minutes To An Hour After The Last Person Leaves The
House Before Going In. In That Hour, You Need To Take The Following Actions
To Assure That No-one Is Home.
First, There SHould Be A Name And Street Address On The Mailbox. Look This
Up In The Phone Book Or Call Information To Get The Phone Number. Then Call
The Number To See If Anyone Is Home. Let It Ring At Least 30 Times. Sometimes
People Don't Want To Get Out Of Bed To Answer The Phone, Or They Are In The
Shower Or Whatever. Let It Ring Enough Times To Really Piss Them Off If They
ARE Home, SO They Will Answer The Phone. If Someone Does Happen To Answer,
DO NOT, I Repeat DO NOT Just Hang Up On Them. This Makes People Suspicious.
Instead, Ask For Eric Or Joel Or Some Name That You Make Up. This Way They'll
Just Think You Have The Wrong Number And Forget About It.
Next You Need To Knock On The Door And Ring The Doorbell. Again, It's A Good
Idea To Have A Rolled Up Local Newspaper With You, So It Looks Like You're A
PaperBoy Or Salesman Or Whatever. If Anyone Answers, Then Just Try To Sell
Them A Newspaper Subscription. You Should Have A Paper And Pen Handy In Case
They Like The Idea.
Now You May Ask Why Knock On The Door After You Just Let The Phone Ring For
20 Minutes. Well This Is For Several Reasons. First, The Ringer Could Have
Been Turned Off. Next, They Might Have Been Sleeping, Or Passes Out, Or They
May Have Been Having Sex And Didn't Want To Be Disturbed. Either Way, They're
Probably Up Now Or Out Of The Shower, So If They Didn't Hear The Phone Before
Then They Should Hear The Door Now. It Also Let's You Know If A Dog Is Home.
You Might Even Want To Go To All The Houses In The Area And Try To Sell Them
Papers As Well, Just To See Who Is Home In The Neighborhood And Who You Need
To Look Out For When Breaking In.
Now That The House Is Empty And The Coast Is Clear, You Are Ready To Break
Into The Place.
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
'''''''''''''''B r e a k i n g A n d E n t e r i n g'''''''''''''''''''
Now It's Time To Break Into The House Of Your Choice. There Are So Many
Ways Of Breaking In, I Couldn't Possibly List Them All Here. But For Now I'm
Jut Going To Cover The Basics. Note: ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES. Even If Your Prints
Aren't On Record Anywhere, They Probably Will Be Someday, And It Sucks To Get
Busted For A Crime You Did Last Year. So Wear Fucking Gloves.
The Most Desirable Means Of Entry Is Having The Key To The Front Door. There
Are A Lot Of Common Hiding Places Where People Leave A Door Key For Guests Or
Emergencies. These Places Include The Mailbox, Under The Welcome Mat, Above
The Door...Just Over The Top Part Of The Door On The Lip/Ledge, In A Flower
Pot On The Porch Or A Window, Under Something Sitting On The Porch Or Close
To The Door. These Are Just A Few Of The More Common Places. Also Look Under
Large Stones And Rocks In The Yard, Behind Bushes Etc. You Should Complete
Your Search A Few Dayd Prior To Actually Breaking In, So That You Know Where
It Is. Otherwise, You'll Look Pretty Suspicious Looking Around The Front Yard
For 10 Minutes. And If You Went In After That, Someone Might Call The Police.
You Probably Won't Get Arrested For Just Snooping Around Someone's Front
Yard, Especially If You Say You Were Looking For Your Cat... But You WILL Get
Arrested For Breaking Into Someone's House After Snooping Around, And The Cat
Story Won't Work Very Well In That Case.
So If You Find The Key, Come Back A Few Days Later And You're In. Otherwise
You'll Have To Rely On Lockpicking Or Forced Entry. I'm Not In Favor Of Going
At The Door With A Set Of LockPicks . Lockpicking Takes Too Much Time In Most
Circumstances, Even If You're Really Good At It. You Risk Being Noticed When
You Spend Too Much Time At Someone's Door.
The Credit Card Trick Is Cool If They Don't Have A Deadbolt. Just Use Your
Credit Card Or Driver's License, And Slide It In Between The Door And The
Latching Mechanism. The Only Problem Is That You Could Drop Your License Thru
The Crack In The Door Or Push It In Too Far And Not Be Able To Get It Back,
So It's Best To Have A Decent Substitute Like A Flexible Piece Of Metal Or
Plastic That Doesn't Have Your Name And Picture On It.
If None Of That Works, You Can Just Kick The Door In, But That's Not A Very
inconspicuous Thing To Do, So Then You Move On To Windows.
Breaking In Through Windows Is An Art In Itself. Having A Good Glass-cutter
Or Stolen Diamond Ring Will Help Tremendously. You Can Use The Diamond To Cut
A Hole In The Glass If It's Real.
First, Make Sure There Aren't Any Unlocked Windows. People Often Leave Their
Kitchen And Bathroom Windows Open To Get Rid Of Cooking Smoke And The Smell
Of Uncle Fred's Shit. They Also Leave Upstairs Windows Open Or Unlocked Alot.
But If There Are No Open Or Unlocked Windows, Then You'll Have To Take Out
Some Glass. There Are Several Ways Of Doing This Effectively. The One That Is
Least Noticable Is For Those Older Windows With The Latches That You Turn To
Lock The Window, Just Cut A Small Hole Near The Latch, Reach In And Turn It
And You're In.
The Next Method Is To Take Really Thick Duct Tape And Cover The Window With
It. Put Strips Of The Tape All The Way Across The Window So That The Entire
Window Surface Is Covered. Then Just Kick It Or Punch It Or Smash It With A
Big Rock. The Tape Will Muffle The Sound Of Breaking Glass, And The Pieces
Won't Fall All Over The Floor, So It Will Be Quiet And You Won't Cut Yourself
On Loose Shards Of Glass. There WILL Be Glass Shards Laying Around, But Not
Nearly As Many.
Now This Is Very Important. Make Damned Sure That You Look Inside Before You
Climb In Through The Window. Look Where You Are Going To Land When You Get
Inside. You Don't Want To Land In A Big Pile Of ThumbTacks Or Jacks Or Any
Other Little Traps That Someone Might Have Set For Burglars.
The Point Of All This Is To Do It Quick, Do It Quietly And Do It Without
Getting Hurt, Shot Or Arrested.
Now That You're Inside, It's Time To Break Out The Laptop, And Then Do Some
Looting.
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'''''''''L a p t o p T e c h n i q u e s -- P a r t O n e```````````````
Laptops Can Be A Real Pain In The Ass, But If You've Got A Good Modem, They
Can Be A Real Pain In Someone Else's Ass. Imagine Coming Home From A Two Week
Vacation To Find Your House Ransacked And A $5000 Phone Bill In The Mailbox.
The First Few Articles This Month Will All Deal With Gaining Access To Empty
Homes/Residences And Other Facilities, Using Their Phone Line And Stealing A
Bunch Of Good Shit From The House Without Getting Caught.
Now Of Course There Are Little Boxes That You Could Make That Would Pretty
Much Do The Same Thing, But Some People Aren't Good At Making Boxes, And Then
You Have To Worry About A Bunch Of Different Shit. But This Is Almost As Easy
And You Get To Steal Shit In The Process,
Now For This Part, We'll Simply Assume That You've Done Everything Else The
Correct Way And You Are Now Inside The Empty House. Now The First Thing You
Want To Do Is To Break Out Your Trusty Laptop And Make All The Connections.
Make Sure You Use An AC Adapter So Your Battery Doesn't Run Out. Hook Every
Thing Up And Go To Your Terminal Program. I'd Suggest Using Q-modem Or Telix
Because They Are About The Most Versatile Terminal Programs Out There, And
You Can Store All The Numbers You Want To Call Beforehand Along With Settings
And Baud Rates And All That Jazz. Now You Call Up Some Distant Board And Go
Into The Transfer Section. Tag All The Files You Want To Download And Then
Start The Transfer. I Did This One Time, Taking the Time To Tag Almost Fifty
Files, Only To Find Out That The Board I Connected To Required Validation For
New Users Before Allowing Them To Download. With This In Mind, I Suggest That
You Call The Board(s) A Week Or Two In Advance And Set Up An Account To Make
Sure That Everything Is Ready For You To Phreak Some Files. This Is Also A
Good Idea Because When The People Whose Phone Line You're Abusing Decide To
Call The Cops, The Cops Will No Doubt Try To Track Down The Callers From The
Board You Called, And If It's A Lame Board They Will Cough Up The User Files
In A Heartbeat To Save Their Own Asses. The Cops Will Be Suspicious Of Recent
New Users, Especially Ones That Logged On On The Same Day Or The Day Before
The Phreaking Took Place. And Then They'll Look At Who Downloaded The Most
Files, And How Long It Would Take To Download All The Shit, Etc..Etc..Etc..
So To Be On The Safe Side, Log Onto The Board As Much In Advance As Possible
And NEVER Use Any Real Information. Not Even A Handle Or An Area Code. Your
Handle And Other Information CAN Be Used To Track You Down. Cops Are Getting
Really Sophisticated Shit These Days, So Don't Fuck Around. Always Remember
That ANY Information Can Be Used Against You, The Less They Know, The Better.
So Now You Have Made The Connection, And You Have Just Started The Downloads
Which Takes A Few Minutes. Now The Downloads Are Automatic, So You Don't Need
To Sit There And Watch The Screen, You Can Now Begin The Looting Process.
Before You Begin Looting, You Should Have A General Idea Of How Much Time Is
Left Before The Downloading Is Done... That Way You Can Either Log Onto Some
Other Board And Start Over, Or You Can Get The Fuck Out. Keep In Mind That
The Longer You Spend In One Place, The Better Your Odds Are Of Getting Caught
And That Applies To EVERYTHING.
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_____________________________________________________________________________
'''''''''''''T h e F i n e A r t O f L o o t i n g'''''''''''''''''''
No, This Has Nothing To Do With A Musical Instrument (Lute) Unless The House
You Are In Has Instruments In Which Case You'll Be Stealing Them, But Indeed
We Are Referring To The Art Of The Steal.
It Helps To Have Some Idea Of What You Are Looking For Before You Actually
Enter The House/Residence/Building But It's Not Necessary. You Can Get A Good
Idea Of What To Find Inside By Stealing Mail And Going Through The Trash, And
Also Just From Observing The People Who Live/Work There. If Mr. Jones Is A
College Freshman Who Is Living By Himself And Throws A Lot Of Parties, Then
You Can Probably Expect To Nab A Good Home Stereo System And Some Leftover
Moldy Pizza. But If Mr. Jones Works For IBM And His Wife Is A Prissy Bitch
Who Has Lots Of Credit Cards, Then You Can Expect To Find Expensive Jewelry
And Some Nice Panties To Sniff.
Now When You're On The Inside, It's Best Not To Use Any Lights. Lights Will
Attract The Attention Of The Snoopy Old Neighborhood Watch Hag Next Door, And
That's Not A Good Thing. That's Why I Recommend Using A Cheap Set Of Night
Vision Goggles. I Know, Most Of You Can't Even Afford A Case Of Beer, But You
Can Get A Decent Set Of NVG's For Around $500. You May Not Be Able To Afford
This At First, But Save Your Profits And Buy A Set. They Make Things SO Much
Easier, And Greatly Reduce Your Chances Of Getting Caught. But More On That
Later.
Now The First Thing To Keep In Mind Is That The People Who Own The Place Are
Not Very Concerned About Burglars And Thieves. They're The Kind Of People Who
Think It Will Never Happen To Them. Otherwise They Would Have A Really Good
Alarm/Security System In Which Case You're Probably Fucked Anyway. So With
That In Mind, Start By Looking In The Obvious Places First. Now You Need To
Know What Kind Of Shit You're Looking For. Obviously A Drum Set Or A Piano Is
Too Big For This Type Of Looting, But You Need To Set A Reasonable Goal Of
How Much You're Going To Take.
Now Start Looking In The Logical Places For What You Want To Steal. If You
Are Looking For Jewelry, Check The Bathroom And The Bedroom Dresser First. I
Look For Those Little Wooden Boxes That Have The Little Musical Chimes. Those
Things Hold Anything From Fancy Jewelry And Cash To Safety Deposit Box Keys,
Car Keys, Little Pieces Of Paper With Pin Numbers And Combinations Written On
Them...All Kinds Of Neat Shit. Personally, I Look For Everything BUT Jewelry.
I Mean It's Pretty Hard To Sell Jewelry Any More For Any Real Profit Unless
You Own A Jewelry Store.
The Bedroom: Look On Top Of Dressers And Night stands First. Look For Loose
Cash, Spare Wallets, Handbags, Credit Cards, ATM Cards, Driver's Licenses Or
Other Types Of ID That Could Be Used As Fake ID's, Scrap Paper With Numbers
Written On It, Etc. Etc.
Next Look In The Dressers And Anything With Pull-out Drawers. Look Under The
Underwear, Feel The Socks, Sniff The Panties...Don't Make A Mess And Pull All
The Shit Out. It's Better If They Never Know You Were There. If They Notice
Something Missing They Might Blame It Someone Who Has A House Key Or Whoever
They Asked To Water The Plants And Feed The Dog. But If The Place Is Totally
Ransacked, Then That Will Never Fly, And That Increases Your Chances Of Being
Caught. They Can't Find Your Fingerprints If They Don't Know To Look For Them
And If You Are Still Wearing Those Gloves I Told You To Wear When Breaking In
Earlier.
Anyway, Try To Keep From Making It Obvious That Someone Was In Their House
Going Through All Their Shit. Next, Check The Closet And Under The Bed. Look
Inside Shoes And In Jacket And Coat Pockets. Check The Inside Pocket On Suits
As A Lot Of People Take Their Jacket Off And Forget To Take The Spare Cash
Out Of There. Look On The Shelf And On The Floor For Old Shoe Boxes And Small
Boxes And Coffee Cans. These Usually Only Contain Trinkets And Sentimental
Shit Like Pictures And Old Letters, But They Occasionally Have Some Good Shit
To Steal. And Who Knows, You Might Find Some Incriminating Photos To Use For
Blackmail Or To Scan And Send To CTC For The Gifs Section.
Bathroom: There's Not Much To A Bathroom. Just Check Around The Sink And On
Any Shelves Or Drawers For Expensive Jewelry And Drugs. Even If You Don't Get
Any Secret Stashes Of Coke Or Marijuana, You Might Stumble Onto Some Codeine
Which Contains Traces Of Cocaine, Or Some Muscle Relaxers Or Even Some Really
Good Diet Pills AKA Speed. You Can Get Pretty Fucked Up From So Many Of The
Prescription Drugs That People Have Laying Around.
Kitchen: This Is My Favorite Room Of The House. The First Thing I Do Is Open
The Fridge And Check For Food And Beer, Bottles Of Hard Liquor, Champaign, or
Anything Else That Looks Good At The Time. Then I Go To The Cookie Jars And
Sugar/Flour Canisters. I've Found So Much Shit In Cookie Jars In The Kitchen.
One Time My Friend Randy Met A Chick At A Local Bar. We All Went Back To Her
Place. While They Were Upstairs Fucking, I Went Through The Kitchen And Found
A Checkbook And Some Food Stamps And I Totally Cleaned Out Her Fridge. I Took
A Bunch Of Tapes And CD's From Under The TV Stand. Randy Snagged Some Pills
And Her Watch From The Bathroom Upstairs And Some Cash From Her Purse. If You
Ever Have This Kind Of Opportunity, Get The Bitch/Guy Really Drunk So That He
Or She Passes Out Later After You Or A Friend Fucks Them, And Then Just Loot
The Shit Out Of Their House.
Living Room: Televisions, VCR's, Tapes, CD's, Stereos, You Name It. Most Of
The People I've Seen Usually Keep The Living Room Looking Pretty Nice And
Clean, And Don't Leave A Lot Of Shit Laying Around Like In The Bedroom, But
It Never Hurts To Look.
Other Rooms: Look Around For Home Computers, Like In The Den Or In The Spare
Bedroom. Even If You Don't Snag The Whole Thing, You Can Steal Software Or A
Mouse/Joystick/Keyboard Or You Could Even Take The Fucker Apart And Remove
The Hard Drive And Some Memory Modules. Then Put It Back Together So It Looks
Normal. The Guy Will Probably Spend A Hundred Bucks At A Repair Shop Just To
Find Out That He Doesn't Have A Hard Drive. But If There's A Modem On The
Computer, Just Make Sure There's A Terminal Program, And Then Stick All The
Numbers You Called At The Bottom Of The List. That Makes It Look Like He Was
The One Making The Calls In The First Place. Or Skip The Part Where You Add
The Numbers, But Make Sure He Has A Terminal Program Installed. If He's A Big
Idiot And Doesn't Know How To Use The Modem, Then When He Calls The Cops Upon
Discovering His Phone Bill, Investigators Won't Believe Him. Especially If He
Has The Numbers Listed On His Terminal Program. If You Have To Install The
Terminal Program, Then The Guy Who Owns The Computer Probably Doesn't Even
Know What Telix Is..."Must Be Some Kind Of Drawing Program For Windows."
Also Look For Keys Hanging Up Next To The Door. If There Is A Garage Then
Check It Out. There Might Be A Car In It. I Wouldn't Recommend Jacking A Car
But To Each His Own. If There Is A Car, Make Sure It Doesn't Have An Alarm.
There's Nothing Worse Than Having A Whole Night Of Looting Shot Down Because
You Set Off The Car Alarm. If There's A Car There, There Should Also Be A Set
Of Keys Somewhere. Make Sure The Keychain Isn't One Of Those Fancy Alarm Ones
That Make Noise. When You're In The Car, Check The Glove Box. You Might Find
A Gun Or Some Cash Or A Spare Credit Card. Check Above The Visors And Under
The Seats. Search The Trunk, A Good Place For Flares And Valuable Gifts.
You Can Even Go So Far As To Pop The Hood And Fuck Up The Distributor Cap,
Or Pull Spark Plug Wires. You Can Also Steal The Battery, But It's Heavy And
Car Batteries Are Usually Stolen By A Mobile Unit. But Nonetheless, You Can
Bring In Some Good Cash Flow From Stealing Car Batteries. Junk Yards And Gas
Stations Usually Pay From 20 To 30 Dollars For A Car Battery, No Questions
Asked.
The Basement: I Never Go To The Basement. Maybe I've Seen Too Many Movies,
But Something Bad Always Happens In The Basement. There's Usually Only A Lot
Of Old Musty Shit That Nobody Wants Anyway. Any Place Else In The House Has
Several Escape Routes Available Usually, But The Basement Only Has One Way To
Get Out, Unless You Count Those Little Windows That Are Molded Shut. Take It
From Me, Man...The Basement Is A Bad Idea. Stay Away. And If You Don't Think
It's True, Then Watch That Movie "People Under The Stairs."
Last But Not Least, Cover Your Tracks As Good A Possible And Get The Fuck
Out With The Goods. Don't Let Anybody See You, And DO NOT Kill The Family Cat
No Matter How Tempted You Are, Because They Make Too Much Noise And You Might
Get Scratched And Lose Blood, And Then That DNA Shit Will Bite You In The Ass
And You'll Be Hanging Out With O.J.
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
''''''''''''''''''''''''''S h o p l i f t i n g``````````````````````````````
Shoplifting Is A Favorite American Past-time. Some Consider It To Be One Of
The Nation's Greatest Sports. For Every Security System They Come Up With,
There Are At Least Twenty Different Ways To Defeat It. But We're Not Going To
Go Into Specific Security Systems Today. These Would Eventually Be Outdated
Anyway As New Developments Take Place. What We're Going To Discuss Is Tactics
Of Shoplifting. How To Pull It Off.
If You Can Defeat A Security System, Well That's Great. But It Doesn't Mean
Jack Shit If There's Some Bald Undercover Narc Watching Over Your Shoulder.
So What We Need To Do First Is Get These Plain Clothes Security Guys Out Of
The Big Picture.
Now This Is What We Used To Do Back In The Days. Let's Take A Guitar Store
For Example. I Would Walk Into The Store First. I Was Dressed Up Really Nice
And I Started Looking Around. I Would Take Notice Of All The People In The
Store And Where They Were, Whee The Cameras Were And All That Kind Of Shit.
I Had About Ten Minutes To Scope The Place Out Without Looking Suspicious,
And Decide What I Was Going To Steal. At The Ten-Minute Mark, I Would Hang
Out By Whatever It Was I Wanted To Steal. For This Example I'll Use A Peavey
Distortion Pedal, List Price Over $100.
Then, After The Ten Minutes, My Friends Would Walk In. One Was A Black Guy
Wearing A Big Loose Coat. The Others Would Come Into Play Later. So When They
Walked Into The Store, They Would See Where I Was. They Would Go Every Place
Else. The Black Guy With The Coat Would Act REAL Susupicious And Look Around
A Lot Like He Was Trying To Steal Shit. The Other Guys Would Tie Up The Sales
Clerks With Stupid Questions, And Start Taking The Guitars Off The Walls When
There Were No Sales Clerks Around. Needless To Say, All Attention Was Away
From Me And My Little Pedals. So I Just Leaned Down And Unhooked The Pedal
And Stuck It Down My Pants. I Sucked In My Stomach And No-one Could Even Tell
That It Was There. I Left The Store And Then My Friends Would Follow A Few
Minutes Later.
One Particular Stereo Store Had Two Security Guys In Suits Standing On Both
Sides Of The Door, And When You Would Leave The Store, They Would Look At You
Like You Stole Something And They Knew It. Of Course They Didn't Even Suspect
A Thing, But They Wanted To Make You Think They Did. So On The Way Out, I Had
To Walk Between Them, And Yes, I Was Fucking Nervous. But I Just Kept Saying
To Myself "These Guys Aint Shit. Even If They Do Catch Me, I'll Just Fucking
Run."
So I Just Walked Up, Nice And Slow, And Right Before I Got To The Door, I
Looked At The One Guy, And Said "Excuse Me, How Late Are You Guys Open
Tonight?" And The Guy Told Me, And I Was Like "Cool. Okay, Well I'll Try To
Get Back Before You Close, 'Cause There's Like This Really Cool Guitar I Want
But I Have To Ask My Mom First."
These Guys Didn't Want To Hear My Pathetic Story, So They Were Glad That I
Finally Stopped Talking And Left. They Probably Made Fun Of Me After I Was
Gone, But They Were The Ones Who Got Ripped Off So Who Cares.
The Biggest Thing You Need To Do Is Make Sure You Don't Look Or Act Like A
Thief. Don't Even Look Like A Potential Shoplifter. Dress Really Nice, And
Don't Wear Baggy Clothes. Security Guys Look For That. Don't Let Your Eyes Go
Darting All Over The Store. Talk To The Clerks And The Security, And Whoever
Else Is A Threat. Talking And Asking A Few Questions Helps Them To Calm Down
And Let Their Guard Down A Little. Don't Act Nervous. Act Friendly And Nice.
After You Snag Something, Don't Hurry To Get Out Of There. In Fact, Spend A
Good Deal Of Time AFTER You Pocket The Goods, Just Looking Around, Making
Sure That Everyone In The Store Can See You. If You Spend Five Minutes After
Stealing Something Just Hanging Out In Plain Sight, Then They Won't Think You
Stole Shit. Then Either Buy A Candy Bar Or Something, Or Just Casually Work
Your Way To The Door And Leave.
Last But Not Least, If ANYONE I Mean ANYONE Sees You Pocket Something, Even
If It's Just The Town Drunk, Put That Shit Back And Leave. I Almost Got
Caught One Time Because This Drunk Named Speedy Saw Me Steal Some Cigarettes,
And I Saw Him Telling The Guy Behind The Counter About It, So I Got Lucky. I
Just Went Up To The Counter With The Cigarettes And Paid For Them, And Made
Speedy Look Like A Big Liar. But It's Still Fucked Up Because I Used To Give
That Old Fucker Beer When I Was Working At McDonalds And He Would Show Up On
The Parking Lot After Work. Oh, Well.
And Here's One Last Bit Of Advice. If You Do Get Caught, Run Like Hell. No
Hesitation, Just Get The Fuck Out Of There. I Got Busted ONCE. One Time. And
It Was Because I Got Cocky. I Was Leaving The Store And These Two Plainclothe
Security Men Came Out And Said, "Excuse Me, Sir..." I Looked Back And Knew
Right Away That They Were Security, But I Had A Few Beers In Me And I Was
Getting Cocky, So I Pulled The Shit Out Of My Pockets And Said "You Lookin'
For This? Here You Can Have It. I Didn't Want It Anyway."
I Figured That If They Tried Anything I'd Just Fuck 'em Up And Take Off, But
They Turned Out To Be A Lot Stronger Than They Looked. They Grabbed Me And In
A Few Minutes I Was Headed Downtown. I Was Still Under 18, But I Got In A Lot
Of Shit Anyway. But It Wa A Learning Experience.
Anyway, The Point Is...Run. It's Not Worth Getting Busted Just So You Can Be
Cocky And Cool In Front Of Your Friends.
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'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''H y d r o g e n```````````````````````````````
This Issue Is Called "The Art Of The Steal" And I'm Really Not Sure How The
Hell Hydrogen Plays Into The Theme Of Things, But I Just Thought I'd Throw It
In. Use Your Imagination. Maybe You Can Use Hydrogen Products During One Of
Your Stealing Sprees.
There Are Many Uses For Hydrogen. It Is Best Known For It's Destructive
Power As Demonstrated With The Hydrogen Bomb. But Most Of Us Don't Have The
Ability To Manufacture Hydrogen Bombs And Nukes At Home. So Today We're Going
To Talk About Some Uses Of Hydrogen That Are Easily Cashed In On.
First, We'll Talk About Regula r Hydrogen Gas. In It's Pure Form, Hydrogen
Gas Is Extremely Flammable. I'll Let You Decide How To Make Use Of That, But
Wouldn't It Be Nice To Have Some Hydrogen Gas Of Your Own To Experiment With?
Well There Are Several Ways Of Manufacturing Pure Hydrogen Gas.
The First Method Is Through A Reaction Between An Acid And An Active Metal.
For Example, A Reaction Between Sulfuric Acid And Zinc Metal.
Zn + H SO = H + ZnSO
2 4 2 4
Another Example, Also With Zinc, Is HydroChloric Acid.
Zn + 2HCl = H + ZnCl
2 2
The Next Method Is Electrolysis Of Water. Many People Have Tried This And
Complained That It Didn't Work. So Here's What Needs To Happen. Set Up Your
Electrolysis Chamber So That The Container For The Hydrogen Is At Located At
Cathode. When The Electrolysis Begins, Hydrogen Gas Will Be Extracted At The
Cathode, And Oxygen Will Be Extracted At The Anode. Now Here's The Trick. You
Need To Add Some Sodium Chloride (NaCl) To The Water Before You Begin. What
This Does Is Neutralize Any Unbalanced Electrical Charges That Occur At The
Electrodes. If The Unbalanced Charges Accumulate, They Begin To Block The
Electrolytic Action. This Is Why People Go For Hours On End Without Getting
Any Hydrogen.
You Can Also Extract Hydrogen From Methane Gas. Now Why Anyone Would Want To
Do This Is Beyond Me. I'd Just Use The Methane. But Here It Is Anyway. Large
Quantities Of Methane Gas Can Be Found Near Oil Wells And Many Other Pockets
Under The Earth's Surface. This Is Also Referred To As Natural Gas.
At Temperatures From 650'C To 900'C, Methane Will React With High Pressure
Steam To Produce Carbon Monoxide And Hydrogen Gas. Further Heating Causes The
Carbon Monxide To React With The Steam To Yield Carbon Dioxide And More
Hydrogen Gas. The High Pressure Steam Should Be From Relatively Pure Water.
First Reaction CH + H O = CO + 3H
4 2 2
Second Reaction CO + H O = CO + H
2 2 2
Now If You Ask Me, That's A Lot Of Trouble To Go To Just To Get Hydrogen Gas
And Carbon Dioxide. But If You've Got A Decent Lab At Home I Guess It Could
Be Fun.
Okay, Now On To Some Really Fun Shit.
Now It's Time For HydroSulfuric Acid. H S.
2
Hydrosulfuric Acid Is Some Nasty Shit. It Has That Rotten Egg Smell, Kind Of
Like Sulfer, And It Is Lethal To Humans In Concentrations Of 100 parts per
Million Of Air. It Is Produced By A Reaction Between Any Metallic Sulfide And
Another Acid. For The Example, I'll Use Ferrous Sulfide And Hydrochloric Acid
FeS + 2HCl = H S + FeCl
2 2
And Now For Some Useless Hydrogen Trivia. Radioactive Hydrogen.
H-1 Is Protium
H-2 Is Deuterium
H-3 Is Tritium
D O Is Heavy Water. The Normal Hydrogen Atoms Are Replaced With Deuterium
2 Which Is Twice As Heavy, Thus It's Called Heavy Water.
Heavy Water Can Also Be Made Through Extended And Very
Prolonged Hydrolysis. Approximately 100,000 Gallons Of
Regular Water Must Be Electrolyzed To Produce Just One
Gallon Of D O.
2
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Another Fine Product Brought To You By The Corellian Trade Corps. You May
Contact The Corellian Trade Corps BBS At (360)-675-XXXX.
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