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BLaH Magazine #20
? ??? ? ? ?
?? ?? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
BLaH ? ? ? ??? ? ?
File ??? ? ?? ????? Written August 10th, 1992
#020 ? ?ig ?ong ??? ?nd ? ?airy
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
??? ???? ????? ?? ??
Presents
? ?? ?
"The Basics Of Tfile Groups"
? by ?
Guido Sanchez
? ?? ?
So, you'd like to start up a tfile group. But you've not a clue. Well, take it
from one who's started up a fairly successful one. Or take it from me. It takes
NOTHING special. No talent, no skill, no charm, no commitment, no kidding. Here
are the basic steps to starting your own NIFTY tfile group.
?1? Thinking Up a Name
Just think of a cool word. Any cool word. For example, penis. Now, capitalize
all of the consonants, and keep the vowels in lower case <IMPORTANT!>. The
result : PeNiS. Next is also a crucial step, look at an ass-key chart and find
some extended ass-key equivalents of the letters of the group name. P, hmm,
well nothing can be done about that. Let's just leave it the way it is. e, well,
there's alt-144, that looks cool. N, there's an easy one for that. Alt-165.
Try and make the letters keep the look of being capitalized and in lower case.
There are tons of possibilities for i, alt-141 looks pretty cool. For the S,
now this has been a topic of constant discussion among the TRULY elite circles
of modemhood. Does alt-235 look like a d or an S? Chessman says it makes his
name look like Cheddarman, but I see all of the kool new BBSs using ???. Is
that a d or a S? Well, hey, if The WareHouse says it's an S, it must be. But
wait! You've used NO slashes or backslashes in your group name! You could
substitute ? for /\/, but it'd be better to clear up that ? discrepancy by
using slashes on it. Ok, you now have a group name. Make sure all of your
members commit the ass-key sequence to MEMORY, or otherwise they should be
kicked out for insubordination.
/
P???\
/
Now, look at the letters and try to make it an acronym out of it. Something
like
/
Professional ?lite ?euromancers ?n Cyber\pace
/
That's good. It takes up a lot of space, and sounds K00L. Any reference to
cyberpunk, neuromancer, or cyberspace is a DEFINITE plus, and if it's not
a true acronym, hey, even better. Congratulations! You've now got a name!
<apology at this point for not being terribly funny in this tfile. I'll cut
to the chase now. I'm just bored and writing this tfile so that BLaH doesn't
die. Oh joy, you've found me out>
?- GUIDELINES FOR YOUR TFILE GROUP -?
? Release lots of things. Especially if they're not yours. You can rack up
tons of releases by transcribing song lyrics from tape/cd covers, or making
every 8th release an index of your previous releases.
? Upload your stuff to Ripco. I guarantee it will be distributed.
? The first thing that should be released is an application. Who cares about
the actual content of the tfiles, just as long as people can add that funky
little acronym after their name when they post.
? It does NOT matter where your TRUE HQ is, pretend it's in another country.
Sweden for example. It's very impressive, and will get your crap distrib-
uted out the ass.
? Get couriers. Yes, even tfile groups need couriers. It doesn't matter if
your longest release is 10k <probably an index, too>, get some HST people
to distribute it.
? You can NEVER use too much Extended Asskey. The same goes for capitalizing
all consonants and leaving vowels in lower case.
? Get as many SiTES <not sights, or even sites> as possible. Regardless of
their quality.
? Above all else, rag on other groups. Indiscriminantly. Like that piece of
shit group MaDCaP.
? Get one decent writer and let him/her write lots of text files. Since you
released the first one, you'll get the credit of being the main guy of the
group. Exploiting others is a sure fire way to get yourself an interview in
Phrack.
? Don't piss off the people at Phrack by saying you can be reached at their
subscription address.
? Never let them see you sweat.
? Fuck and shit can also never be used to darned much.
? NEVER EVER write about emotion or what you think to be true.. the 'public'
won't buy it one bit, and besides, we've got that market covered
?/\?
<?GS?>
?\/?
?-?-End Of File... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90? says "5629 Bytes Total"??????????????-?
BLaH.. yes, we're lame... but then again so is everyone else...
BLaH {sigh}ts
? ?
Nun-Beaters Anonymous ? ?708?251?5094 ? 110/16.8k <-
The Melting Pot ? ?708?965?8965 ? 9600/16.8k <-
The Insane Asylum ? ?708?305?3028 ? 2400/16.8k <-
The Realm of Death ? ?419?475?3089 ? 2500/16.8k <-
? ?
Soon To Come! The BLaH Revue! Look for it on a board near you! Coded by
Thesauronmyknee and BLaH/FX! MaDCaP shall never die!
(---The Maternity Line... Hello Burn's Mom!!! I'm bearing your son's child!--)
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