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BLaH Magazine #5


? ??? ? ? ?
?? ?? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
BLaH ? ? ? ??? ? ?
File ??? ? ?? ????? Written August 3rd, 1992
#005 ? ?ig ?ong ??? ?nd ? ?airy
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
??? ???? ????? ?? ??

Presents
? ?? ?
"Conclusions"
? by ?
Chessman
? ?? ?

These are a couple of conclusions that Chessman has come to in the past
few minutes. Enjoy.... Gweed..

WHY NICE GUYS FINISH LAST:

Unfortunately, I've come to the honest conclusion that nice guys
finish last... Just think, if I were to open a door for you, and let you in
first, you would win and be the first one in for cookies. On the other
hand, I could open the door and suddenly remember that you had a deathly
fear of doors and other things that open, and you could pull out a blunt
object and bash my head in. Either way, I end up with no cookies or a
bashed in head, neither of which I desire. So, next time your grandma
comes over for chicken and Stove Top, slam the door in her face... After
all, that means more stuffing for you.

THE OLYMPICS:

The prospect of a free weekend seemed so wonderful, but on Friday
I was sitting in the car, and that blue "Service Engine" sign lit up.
Needless to say, I was thrown into a deep depression. It was awful.
But, I decided to make the best so I ordered the Olympics Triplecast. I
got the TV from the living room, the one from the basement, another from
my parents room, and that little black and white one we all have in our
kitchen. Well I piled these on top of each other, and plugged them in.
In the next 36 hours I watched Wheelchair Racing, Basketball, Fencing,
Pelota <whatever that is>, Ping-Pong, Badminton, Team Handball, and
Yachting. It was a triumph of the Olympic Spirit... I think Charles Barkley
said it best...

"I hate spain. The food sucks, and
so do the people. I can't wait until
I get away from all these stupid
foreigners."

So, that concludes my little commentary on the Olympics. I must go play
with my rubber ducky in the bath.... He gets lonely when I leave him alone
for too long.

{---End of File... Safe-T-Nuts v0.90? says "3074 Bytes Total"-----------}

Writers- Chessman
Guido Sanchez

"Whenever I hear the name Guido Sanchez, I have to laugh, because
who is that guy?"

BLaH <sigh>ts include, but are not limited to

Nun-Beaters Anonymous | <708>251-5094 | 110/16.8k
HellBound | <708>965-8965 | 2400/14.4k

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