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Wet Dream (bizarre)
W E T D R E A M
------------------
It was April the 41st,
being a quadruple leap year.
I was driving in down-town Atlantis.
My Barracuda was in the shop,
So I was in a rented stingray
-- and it was over-heating.
So, I pulled into a shell station.
They said I'd blown a seal.
I said "Fix the damned thing and leave my private life out
of it, okay pal?"
While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar
-- A real dive.
But I knew the owner.
He used to play for the Dolphins.
I said "Hi Gil."
You have to yell, he's hard of herring.
[chorus]
Think I had a wet dream, cruising thru the Gulf Stream
ooo ooo oo ooooh
Wet Dream
Gil was also down on his luck.
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.
I bellied up to the sandbar.
He poured me the usual -- Rusty snail, hold the grunion,
shaken, not stirred.
With a peanut-butter and Jellyfish sandwich on the side
-- Heavy on the Mako.
I slipped him a fin -- On porpoise.
I was feeling good.
I even dropped a sand-dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
-- for the Halibut.
Well, the place was crowded.
We were packed in like sardines.
They were all there to listen to the Big Band sound of Tommy Dorsal
-- What Sole.
Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna
-- Salmon Enchanted Evening.
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers,
Probably there to see the Bass player.
One of them was this cute little Yellow-tail,
And she's giving me the eye.
So I figure this is my chance for a little fun.
-- You know, Piece of Pisces.
But she said things I just couldn't fathom.
She was too deep
-- seemed to be under a lot of pressure.
Boy could she Drink !
-- She drank like a ... -- Well, she drank a lot.
I said "What's your sign."
She said "Aquarium."
I said "Great -- lets get tanked !!"
[chorus]
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.
I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
-- "Not tonight, I got a Haddock."
And she wasn't kidding either, cause in came the Biggest,
Meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike.
He was covered with Mussels.
He came over to me and said "Listen Shrimp, Don't ya come
trolling around here."
What a crab!
This guy was steamed
-- I could see the anchor in his eyes.
I turned to him.
I said "Abalone.
You're just being shellfish."
Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil,
Cause he was already on the phone to the Cods.
The haddock hits me with a Sucker Punch.
I catch him with a left hook.
He eels over.
It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
-- Kelpless
I said "Forget the cods Gil, This guy's gonna need a sturgeon."
Well, the Yellow-tail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend.
She came over to me.
She said "Hey Big Boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?"
I said "Marlin."
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