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A Pennsylvania Resident's diary in December about

Message Number: 40442
Date:01/23/94 13:03:15

To: ALL
From: KLINSEN001 [Me]
Topic: Jokes
Subject: snow!!!

Diary of a Pennsylvania Resident

Dec.8, 5 pm It started to snow, the first snow of the season, and
the wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the window,
watching the flakes come down, clinging to the tree branches and
covering the ground. Boy, was it beautiful!!!

Dec. 9, We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of snow covering the
landscape. What a fantastic sight!!! Every tree and shrub cloaked
with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time
in years, and I loved it. I did our driveway and our sidewalks.
Then, the snowplow came along and covered up the drive with
compacted snow from the street. The guy at the wheel smiled and
waved. I smiled and waved back. Then I shoveled the driveway
again.

Dec. 12, The sun has melted most of our pretty snow, but I'm sure
we'll be getting more before winter is over.

Dec. 14, It snowed 8 inches last night and the temp. dropped to
about zero. I shoveled the driveway, but as soon as I finished the
snowplow came and did his trick.

Dec. 15, Sold our car and bought a 4x4 Blazer so we could get
around in the snow. I also bout snow tires for the pickup.

Dec. 16, Fell on my ass on the driveway while cleaning up after the
snowplow. $35 to the chiropractor. Nothing broken, thank god.
The damn sky is getting dark again.

Dec. 19, Had another 14 inches of the white shit last night. Still
cold (-5 this morning) and icy roads make for rough driving. Slid
into a guardrail with my wife's car. About $500 in damages. She's
pissed off.

Dec. 22, We are assured of a White Christmas because another seven
inches of white shit fell today, and with this freezing weather it
won't melt till August. I got all dressed up to go out and shovel
snow when I realized I had to pee.

Dec. 24, If I ever catch that son of a bitch that drives the
snowplow I'll pull him through the snow by his balls. I think he
hides around the corner and waits until I finish shoveling, then he
comes tearing down the street at 100 miles and hour, throwing snow
everywhere.

Dec. 25, Merry Christmas!! They're predicting another foot of
motherfucking snow tonight. I hate the weatherman almost as much
as I hate the snowplow man.

Dec. 27, The snowplow guy came by asking for donations. I hit him
on the head with my shovel. The doctors say he'll live.

Dec. 28, We got 11 more inches. I must be going snowblind or have
a severe case of depression, because the wife is beginning to look
mighty good to me.

Dec. 29, The toilet froze and the roof is starting to cave in. If
you go outside, don't eat the yellow snow. It's not lemonade.

Dec. 30, Torched the goddamn house and I'm moving to Florida.

Krista :)
 
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