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Ridiculous Instruction Set Computer

SUBJECT:RECOVERY TABLE FORMAT

JUST FYI, THERE IS AN ERROR ON P24-13 OF THE GCOS8/DPS8 REFERENCE MANUAL
(MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE MEGA-DITTY BOOK). WORD 74, BITS 30-35 IS
DESCRIBED AS MBZ. THIS IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE, THIS FIELD CAN BE SET AS SHOWN
AT THE BOTTOM OF THAT PAGE. DUMP WILL SET BITS 33 AND 35, I HAVEN'T YET
VERIFIED THAT SWAP OR CLEANPOINT FUTZ WITH THIS MUST BE ZERO FIELD.
-----
STEVE, EVERYONE KNOWS (I'M SURPRISED YOU DON'T) THAT MBZ IS MIGHT BE ZERO.
-----
HOW ABOUT CBZ (COULD BE ZERO), OR SBZ (SHOULD BE ZERO).
-----
...OR MY PERSONAL FAVORITE : TMB (TRANSFER ON MAYBE)
-----
AND DON'T FORGET TAS (TRANSFER ACCORDING TO SEASON)
-----
AN INTERESTING IO COMMAND: SDTCF (SCRATCH DISK THEN CATCH FIRE)
-----
OK, IT SEEMS YOU ALL ARE ASKING FOR THIS...

HITHERTO UNREVEALED DETAILS CONCERNING THE NEW ORGANIC ASSEMBLER HAVE
COME TO MY ATTENTION AND I PASS THEM ON HEREWITH IN THE SPIRIT OF THE
ORIGINAL WWMCCS DOCUMENTORS.

1. THE LOAD NEARLY ALWAYS (LNA) INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN DELETED AND REPLACED
BY THE LOAD VIRTUALLY EVERYTIME (LVE) INSTRUCTION DEFINED AS FOLLOWS:

LVE A, *U, *X,J
(OR LVE,J A, *U,*X)

VIRTUALLY EVERY TIME THIS INSTRUCTION IS EXECUTED, THE J-DESIGNATED
CONTENTS OF U REPLACE THE CONTENTS OF THE A-DESIGNATED A-REGISTER. THIS
IS AN IMPROVEMENT OVER THE LNA, AS LVE WORKS IN 99 44/100% OF THE TIME.
THE ONLY DRAWBACK OBSERVED IN USING THE LVE IS THE INCREASED EXECUTION
TIME. THIS IS PROBABLY DUE TO THE HARDWARE DESIGN WHICH HAS THE OPERATOR'S
CONSOLE FIELD THE LVE-INTERRUPT VIA MICROPROGRAMMED CIRCUITS AND THEN
REQUIRES THE OPERATOR TO MANUALLY LOAD THE SPECIFIED A-REGISTER THROUGH
THE MAINTAINANCE PANEL. AS IS THE CASE WITH MOST INSTRUCTIONS, THE MORE
YOU AVOID USING THE LVE, THE FASTER NET EXECUTION TIME WILL BE. IN THIS
REGARD, IT IS WELL TO RECALL THE RECORD-SETTING PROGRAM SUBMITTED BY
MS. ANN THROPE DURING THE HONEYWELL PROGRAMMER'S MELEE OF 1984, TOWIT:
NOP
TRA $-1
AN EXAMPLE FOR US ALL: ECONOMY, SIMPLICITY, AND SPEED.

2. THE TEST LITMUS PAPER (TLP) INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED AND IS
DEFINED AS FOLLOWS:

TLP *U, *X,J
(OR TLP,J *U,*X)

IF THE LITMUS PAPER AT U (PLACED THERE BEFORE EXECUTION TIME) IS BLUE, THE
NEXT INSTRUCTION IS SKIPPED; OTHERWISE IT IS TAKEN. THE J-DESIGNATOR,
IF SPECIFIED, CAUSES THE PAPER TO BE TORN, AND THE RESULTANT PIECE TO BE
TESTED (J=1-015). IN THE CASE THAT AN IMMEDIATE J-DESIGNATOR IS EMPLOYED,
THE NEAREST THING AT HAND IS TESTED, AND IF FOUND NOT TO BE COLORLESS, THE
NEXT INSTRUCTION IS SKIPPED; OTHERWISE IT IS TAKEN. THIS INSTRUCTION IS
SAID TO BE EVEN MORE USEFUL THAN THE CURRENT TEST EVEN PARITY (TEP)
INSTRUCTION, ESPECIALLY WHEN USED IN CONJUNCTION WITH NEGATIVE ALPHANUMERIC
FIELDS.

3. THE TEST RABBIT (TR) INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED AND IS DEFINED AS
FOLLOWS:

TR

PLEASE NOTE THAT NO OPERAND SUBFIELDS ARE SPECIFIED IN THIS NEW INSTRUCTION,
AS THEY ARE QUITE SUPERFLUOUS. THE RABBIT IS TESTED, AND IF DECEASED, THE
REST OF THE PROGRAM IS SKIPPED; OTHERWISE THE NEXT INSTRUCTION IS TAKEN.
FOR TEACHING PURPOSES (WHERE CUSTOMERS ARE CONCERNED), THE *U,*X OPERAND
SUBFIELDS SHOULD BE INVENTED, AND THEIR FUNCTIONS CLEARLY DESCRIBED (E.G.,
"THE RABBIT AT U IS TESTED, AND IF FOUND TO BE THE EASTER BUNNY, THE NEXT
INSTRUCTION IS SKIPPED", ETC.)

4. THE JUMP SOMEWHERE (JS) INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED AND IS DEFINED
AS FOLLOWS:

JS *U, *X

AN UNCONDITIONAL JUMP TO NOT U IS CARRIED OUT, WHERE "NOT U" IS UNDEFINED,
EXCEPT THAT ITS WITHIN A SEGMENT KNOWN AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. THIS
INSTRUCTION IS USEFUL IN CASES OF INDECISION AND SHOULD BE DISCUSSED IN ALL
COURSES WHERE MANAGEMENT ATTENDANCE IS HIGH.

5. THE TEST AND SET AND QUEUE AND RETEST AND RESET AND REQUEUE AND UNSET
AND HESITATE (TSQRRRUH) INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED AND IS DEFINED AS
FOLLOWS:

TSQRRRUH *U, *X

IN OPERATION, THE TSQRRRUH INSTRUCTION PERFORMS A FEW TS'S AND TSQ'S ON
THE LOCKWORD AT U AND THEN ENTERS A SERIES OF RANDOM MME SEQUENCES, THE
LENGTH OF WHICH DEPEND ON THE PHASE OF THE MOON. UPON EMERGING FROM THIS
INSTRUCTION ONE OF TWO THINGS CAN BE COUNTED ON: EITHER 1) THE SYSTEM
HAS CRASHED IN THE INTERIM OR; 2) EVERYONE HAS LOST INTEREST IN THE RESULTS
OF THE PROGRAM. THE APPLICATIONS OF THIS INSTRUCTION ARE OBVIOUS, ESPECIALLY
IN THE GOVERNMENT. FOR YEARS OUR FEDERAL CUSTOMERS HAVE FOUND THE NOP
INSTRUCTION (AND THE MME GERELC) INSUFFICENT FOR THEIR NEEDS. THIS
INSTRUCTION SHOULD FILL THAT GAP. TWO JS INSTRUCTIONS NORMALLY FOLLOW THE
TSQRRRUH.

6. THE TEST INSTRUCTOR (TI) INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED AND IS DEFINED
AS FOLLOWS:

TI *U, *X

THE INSTRUCTOR WHOSE NAME IS TO BE FOUND A U AND U+1 (LEFT JUSTIFIED AND BCD)
IS TESTED AND IF FOUND TO BE NOT WANTING, THE NEXT INSTRUCTION IS SKIPPED.
OTHERWISE THE NEXT INSTRUCTION IS TAKEN.

7. THE MACRO DON'T DIRECTIVE HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED AND WORKS EXACTLY
LIKE THE DO DIRECTIVE EXCEPT THAT THE GIVEN EXPRESSION E IS NOT ASSEMBLED
N TIMES. ANOTHER REQUIREMENT FROM THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. THE EVALUATED
INTEGRAL RESULT OF N SHOULD NOT EXCEED 262K, OR THE SALARY OF A GS-12,
WHICHEVER IS LARGER.

8. A HANDY SET OF ASSEMBLY OPERATORS HAVE BEEN INTRODUCED AND THEY ARE
DEFINED AS FOLLOWS:

A) !#**+-?;! (IF-NOT-THEN-ELSE-NOT-AND-OR-THEREFOR)

EXAMPLE: IF A AND B ARE ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING, THEN
A !#**+-?;! B = C,
WHERE C IS ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. USEFUL FOR ESTABLISHING
SEGMENT SIZES.

B) ???? (WHAT-ME-WORRY?)

EXAMPLE: IF A AND B HAVE MEANINGS WHICH HAVE NOT PENETRATED THE
MIND OF THE PROGRAMMER, THEN
A ???? B = C,
WHERE C HAS A MEANING WHICH WILL LIKEWISE NOT PENETRATE
THE MIND OF THE PROGRAMMER. THIS IS AN ASSEMBLY-TIME
ANALOGUE OF THE JS INSTRUCTION.

C) -**-++ (NEITHER/NOR)

EXAMPLE: IF A AND B ARE BOTH NEITHER/NOR *ANYTHING*, THEN
A -**-++ B = C,
WHERE C IS *SOMETHING*. THIS IS USEFUL FOR MAKING
SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING.

D) =^= (EQUAL BUT MAYBE NOT)

EXAMPLE: IF A AND B ARE EQUAL, THEN
A =^= B
IS EVALUATED AS 1; OTHERWISE
NOT ( A =^= B )
IS EVALUATED. THIS IS USEFUL FOR PRODUCING 1 WHEN YOU
REALLY NEED IT.

E) <<<<<<< (TEENIER)

EXAMPLE: IF A AND B ARE BOTH TEENY, THEN
A <<<<<<< B = 1;
IF A IS *EVEN TEENIER* THAN B. OTHERWISE, A IS SUBTRACTED
FROM B AND THE TEST REPEATED. THIS GOES ON INDEFINITELY
AND SHOULD PRODUCE A 1 EVENTUALLY UNLESS A IS *REALLY*
TEENY. IN THIS CASE THE SYSTEM RUSTS OUT BEFOR A RESULT
IS PRODUCED.

F) - - - (WHEREAS)

EXAMPLE: IF A AND B ARE IN A LEGAL RELATIONSHIP, THEN
A - - - B = 1;
OTHERWISE, "A - - - B" IS LIABLE TO BE ANYTHING, EVEN NOTHING.

G) +! (BETTER THAN)

EXAMPLE: IF A IS BETTER THAN B, THEN
A +! B = 1;
OTHERWISE
A +! B = 0.

H) == (MORE EQUAL)

EXAMPLE: IF A IS MORE EQUAL THAN B, THEN
A == B = 1;
OTHERWISE
A == B = 0.

TO SUMMARIZE, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING EXERCIZE WITH THESE OPERATORS:

A !#**+-?;! B ???? C -**-++ D =^= E;
<<<<<<< F - - - G +! H == I

WHERE:
A IS A VACUUM CLEANER;
B IS A BEE;
C IS AN AVERAGE GRADE;
D IS A LETTER OF THE ALPHABET;
E IS EXCELLENT;
F IS FINER;
G IS GOOD;
H IS PURPLE; AND FINALLY;
I IS CHARTREUSE.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENTS ARE WELCOME.

MAYBE I'LL EVEN DRAG OUT THE VALGOL MEMO...
----
BOY, AM I GLAD I DECIDED TO EXAMINE THE LATEST G8ARCH NOTICES.
I ENVISION BEING ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MANY OF THESE WONDERFUL
INSTRUCTIONS DURING THE SCF IMPLEMENTATION.
HOWEVER, I WAS DISAPPOINTED TO NOT FIND A DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF
SDTTMS (SHRINK DEVELOPMENT TIME TO MEET SCHEDULE). THE VARIOUS
ARGUMENTS I'VE TRIED WITH IT SO FAR DO NOT PROVIDE THE DESIRED RESULTS.
-----
IF A=B THEN A<<<<<<<B=0 BECAUSE WHEN A IS SUBTRACTED FROM B, NO MATTER
HOW MANY TIMES, THE RESULT WILL ALWAYS BE ZERO; THUS A CANNOT EVER BE
<<<<<<< B, UNLESS A == B, IN WHICH CASE !"#$%&'()=?^^?=)('&%$#"! (WHO
KNOWS???????????????)! MAYBE WE SHOUDN'T USE THESE INSTRUCTIONS, EVER!?
-----
HUMMM. I OBVIOUSLY FORGOT ONE MORE OPERATOR WHICH LIZ OBVIOUSLY NEEDS
FOR THE SDTTMS INSTRUCTION:

OPERATOR: !!!!!!!!!!! SHOUT-INCOHERENTLY

FUNCTION: IF A AND B ARE ARGUMENTS TO OTHER FUNCTIONS, THEN
A !!!!!!!!!!! B
PITS THE TWO AGAINST EACH OTHER, WITH THE STRONGEST
ARGUMENT WINNING. USEFUL FOR SIMULATING STAFF MEETINGS.

 
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