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De Sa is a glue sniffer, who steals from shops to
(from unknown on Internet Wierd News)
``I've made some weird arrests in my time, but this even beats the
woman shoplifting with a rabid donkey for protection last month,''
Sergeant Paulo Quadros of the Belo Ilorizonte police force told
reporters.
``This time, it took twelve of us, including eight firemen, and we had
to take a dozen floor boards into custody as well.''
Sergeant Quadros was answering questions about the arrest of Sergio De
Sa, on charges of aggravated theft. ``De Sa is a glue sniffer, who
steals from shops to feed his habit. On Saturday night he broke into
the Gola Gola glue factory, but he lost control when saw the really
good stuff and started inhaling directly from the vats. Of cause, he
was overcome by fumes after one sniff and lost his balance, upsetting
a vat of glue as he fell. By the time he came round, he was stuck to
the floor and had to lie there helplessly until the workers turned up
on Monday morning. They couldn't shift him and in the end, we had to
get a powersaw and cut round him. The factory owner lost a days
production and he lost the skin off his back.''
``While we were charging him, he said it was worth it as Gola Gola
Quickstix was the premier cru [sic] of glue.''
What is with these people? Are they nuts? Last month we arrested another
guy with tubes stuck right up both nostrils. He died in custody. Someone
called him Walrus face and he laughed so much he hemorrhaged.''
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