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A test to determine whether or not you are a nerd!
El Observador BBS (Internet: eo.com) Node 1 03-14-94 15:54
Name: JAMES STOLICH
Date: 03-11-94 (13:17) Number: 75333 of 76434 (Refer# NONE)
To: JAMES STOLICH
From: [email protected], Michael Lynch
Subj: Thought you would enjoy this..
Read: 03-11-94 (20:25) Status: RECEIVER ONLY
Conf: Intnet Email (30) Read Type: GENERAL (+)
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Hi James, I got this form Andy
he got it from a friend of ours at Berkeley (allvia the net too!).
THE NERD TEST
Score one point for each YES. The score is % nerdity.
1) Have you ever used a computer?
2) Have you ever programmed a computer?
3) Have you ever built a computer?
4) Done #2 continuously for more than four hours?
5) Done #2 continuously for more than eight hours?
6) ? (For those non-MIT students out there, this translates as, "Do/did you
major in electrical engineering or computer science?)
7) Do you wear glasses?
8) Are your glasses broken (e.g. taped)?
9) Is your vision worse than 20/40?
10) Worse than 20/80?
11) Are you legally blind?
12) Have you ever asked a question in lecture?
13) Have you ever answered a question in lecture?
14) Have you ever corrected a professor?
15) Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?
16) Do you sit in the front row?
17) Do you take notes in more than one color?
18) Have you ever worn a calculator?
19) Do you read science fiction?
20) Have you ever used a microscope?
21) Have you ever used a telescope?
22) Have you ever used an oscilloscope?
23) Is your weight less than your IQ?
24) Have you ever done #2 on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of the same weekend?
25) Have you ever done #2 past 4 am?
26) Have you ever done #2 with someone of the appropriate (either or both,
your choice) sex (besides your consultant)?
27) Have you ever done #2 for money?
28) Do you have a Rubik's Cube?
29) Can you solve it?
30) Without the book?
31) Without looking?
32) Do you have acne?
33) Do you have greasy hair?
34) Are you unaware of it?
35) Have you ever bought anything from Radio Shack?
36) From Heathkit?
37) Do you know trigonometry?
38) Do you know calculus?
39) Do you know Maxwell's Equations?
40) Do you have them on a t-shirt?
41) Have you ever dissected anything?
42) Do you know pi past five decimal places?
43) Do you know e past five decimal places?
44) Do you own more than $500 in electronics (excluding stereo)?
45) More than $1000?
46) More than $2500?
47) Have you ever built more than $2500 worth of electronics?
48) Have you ever watched Dr. Who?
49) More than three times in the same night?
50) Have you ever read _The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy_?
51) Was your SAT math score more than 300 points higher than your verbal?
52) Have you ever done homework on a Friday night?
53) Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?
54) Have you ever redesigned a major household appliance?
55) Have you ever played a computer game?
56) Done #55 in the last three months?
57) Done #55 in the last three weeks?
58) Have you ever written a computer game?
59) Are your pants too short?
60) Do your socks mismatch?
61) Have you used a chemistry set?
62) After the age of 13?
63) Have you ever played D&D (or any other role-playing game)?
64) Since high school?
65) Have you ever entered a science fair?
66) Did you win?
67) Do you own a digital watch?
68) Does it play music?
69) Does it have a calculator?
70) Have you ever used a rare earth element?
71) Do you own a CRC?
72) Do you own a CRT?
73) Do you know RPN?
74) Do you own a laser (over 1 mw)?
75) Were you ever on a chess team?
76) A debate team?
77) Do you know more than three programming languages?
78) More than eight?
79) Have you ever made a technical joke?
80) Did no one get it?
81) Can you name more than ten Star Trek episodes?
82) Are you socially inept?
83) Do you own a pencil case?
84) Do you wear it?
85) Do you know Schrodinger's Equation?
86) Have you ever solved it?
87) Have you ever used the word "asymptotic"?
88) Can you count in binary?
89) Have you ever broken into a computer system?
90) A government system?
91) Have you ever changed your bank account?
92) Changed someone else's?
93) Done #92 for money?
94) Have you ever inhaled helium?
95) Do you know the Latin name for the fruit fly?
96) Do you own anything that is radio controlled?
97) Have you ever interpolated?
98) Have you ever extrapolated?
99) Have you ever used a modem?
100) Have you ever reached sexual climax while doing #2?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Are you a LATENT Computer Geek?
So you got away by the skin of your teeth on the first two questionairres,
but this is it, the biggy - the DECIDER. You *could* be latent, with a geek
laying dormant in your subconcious, just waiting to get out. Find out now
with our five minute geek test part II. No cheating now, remember, you're
not cheating us, you're just cheating your analyst out of 180 an hour...
1. It's your birthday and your parents give you are large parcel.
You hope:
a. It's expensive
b. It's something that'll help you "score"
c. It's got an alcohol content
d. It's a full height 5 meg hard-disk for your computer museum
2. Your favourite STTNG star is:
a. The Captain - Always the Captain
b. The Captain too, cuz he scores all the good chicks, just
like on the old generation
c. The guy with the car air-cleaner for glasses
d. Data
3. You've got $20 left in your bank account, it's a friday night
and you're bored. You
a. Go see some friends and bludge off them
b. Invest your money in a couple of bottles of cheap
cherry ripple leg-opener
c. Leave it in the bank as the interest rate is almost
6 percent!
d. Go downtown and tease the autoback machine by withdrawing
the money and cancelling it at the last minute
4. The highlight of your career was when you
a. Pulled off a currency deal worth 31 Million
b. Bought R18 magazines when you were 16
c. Successfully Diagnosed yourself as having 3 degenerative
brain disorders
d. Got your C64 to talk to the Washing machine so you
really *could* program the wash
5. Your cousin is the Black Sheep of the family because
a. He doesn't have a cell-phone
b. He doesn't drink Jack Daniels from the bottle
c. He doesn't collect unemployement benefit
d. He doesn't have a 486-40 with at least 120 Meg HD
6. You win a trip to any destination. You go to:
a. Wall Street, the home of money
b. Gracelands, home of Elvis
c. Anywhere marrying siblings is legal
d. The Motorola factory
7. You never cried so much as when
a. They told you Santa wasn't real
b. The Beatles split up
c. They told you you'd moved to an alcohol-free district
d. You heard Commodore 64s were discontinued
8. The partner of your dreams is
a. A currency consultant with a Jet Ski and a Timeshare in
Florida
b. An attractive blond with Big Bazookies that talks dirty
c. Dead
d. A 486 with personality simulation
9. You have 24 hours to live. You
a. Sell everything and indulge yourself
b. Make peace with you enemies
c. See if Anti-Freeze *is* drinkable
d. Back your personality up onto 8 inch floppies.
10. The greatest threat to our way of life is
a. Nuclear Weapons
b. Communists
c. Low-Proof Alcohol
d. 8 bit graphics
11. You're drunk at a party. You talk about:
a. Your financial model of the world
b. The one that ripped your heart out of your body,
stomped on it, shot it twice, set it on fire, then
flushed it down the toilet like...
c. How to make a good fruit punch with Ethyl Alcohol
d. Which is the better disk controller, MFM or RLL
12. You have a kid. What do you call it?
a. "Wall-Street", "Money" or "Profit"
b. A Single Syllable name like "Dave" or "Sue"
c. A miracle.
d. R-Two
13. In the old family photographs, you're always the one:
a. With the winning smile
b. With the hair sticking up at the back
c. Clutching your Genetalia
(Note: there was no 'd' answer provided for this question
on the original test -cp)
d. Holding a laptop 486
14. When you die, your burial wishes are to be:
a. Buried in a gold-plated coffin
b. Cremated at a quiet ceremony
c. Dead first
d. Buried with a full set of MSDOS-4 floppies and Manuals
How did you do?
---------------
Mostly A's - You're not a geek, but we still hate you.
Mostly B's - You're normalish, no intellectual threat and not
really a geek either
Mostly C's - You're really out there somewhere aren't you?
Mostly D's - BING! On the nail. Need we say more? Ok?
10 PRINT "GEEK"
20 GOTO 10
Get the picture?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A guy gets on a bus and starts threatenning everybody: "I'll integrate you!
I'll differentiate you!!!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one
person stays. The guy comes up to him and says:"Aren't you scared? I'll
integrate you! I'll differentiate you!!!" And the other guy says, "No, I am
not scared. I am e^x!"
I hope this isn't something you already have! Enjoy!
-mike
<<<>>>
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