|
|
 |
|
|
|
register |
bbs |
search |
rss |
faq |
about
|
|
|
meet up |
add to del.icio.us |
digg it
|
|
|
|
Truly tasteless, dirty, racial, crude, nasty, revo
TRULY TASTLESS
DIRTY
RACIAL
CRUDE
NASTY
REVOLTING
OBSCENE
AND
COMPLETELY X RATED JOKES
VOLUME I
Edited by:
E.D. Riedel
FEE COLLECTED NOTICE:
In return for the time and effort that I have expended in collecting,
editing and distributing this collection of adult humor, I request (perhaps
request is a little to mild) that a $10.00 user support fee be sent to me at
the address listed below. In return for this $10.00 donation your name will be
added to my CONFIDENTIAL mailing list to be used solely for the purpose of
notifying you of the availability of future volumes. Volume II is expected to
be ready in june 1988 and volume III in January 1989 or sooner. Other volumes
will follow but I have no Idea when.
If you have any jokes that you wish to contribute to this effort, send them
to me at the address below. If I decide to use them, you will receive a
complimentary contributors copy of the volume in which they are included for
your efforts
For an additional $5.00, you can receive the soft bound version, delivered
right to your door.
Send that check or money order straight away so that you can get in on this
deal before the organization of joke producing countries (OJEC: Polland, Italy,
Russia, Ethopia, Etc.) goes on strike again, driving the price way up.
Send all correspondance to: Eric D. Riedel
8932 'A' Compton St.
Indianapolis, IN 46240
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
There is no copyright on any of the material in this book. All of the
"humor" contained with-in has been collected over a three year period, by the
editor, from sources too numerous to mention. To the best of my knowledge all
jokes, stories, one-liners etc. are in the public domain and may be told to
anyone that you desire as many times as you desire. However this material may
not be reprinted in it's original form for resale or otherwise without my
written permission.
In other words, once you have paid the fee which I charge for collecting
and distributing these jokes, you may do anything you wish with the material,
except copy it in it's original form for any purpose.
NOTICE
The joke material contained with-in may be of such a nature as to offend
some people. If you are under 18 years old, object to obscene language,
derogatory racial slurrs, or sexual frankness you should avoid reading or
viewing this material.
THIS MATERIAL IS TO BE VIEWED AT THE READERS RISK. The opinions expressed
with-in the following pages are not necessarily those of the editor and THE
EDITOR ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY CONSEQUENCES OF READING THIS
MATERIAL. This material is free, however a fee has been collected by the
editor to compensate for the time, effort and expense invloved in collecting
and distributing same.
The More Women I meet, The More I Like My Dog.
**********
Q: Why are the Indianapolis Colts changing their names to the the Tampons?
A: Because they're only good for 1 period and they have no 2nd string.
Q: What's long black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a centipede?
A: I don't know, but you should see it pick tomatoes.
Q: Do you know why they're having trouble finding a cure for AIDES?
A: Because the scientists can't get the mice to butt fuck.
Q: Do you konw why Niggers don't like blow jobs?
A: They don't like any kind of job.
Q: Did you hear that scientists are starting to use Mexicans for their
experiments instead of rats?
A: They multiply faster and you don't get attached to them.
Q: What were Adam's first words to Eve?
A: Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Mexican with a Chink?
A: A car thief that can't drive for shit.
Q: Why did God create women?
A: Because sheep can't cook!
Q: Do you know why Niggers keep chickens in their yards?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.
Q: Do you know how to made a black man nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.
Q: Why did God invent the orgasm?
A: So Niggers would know when to stop fucking.
Q: What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
A: Her legs.
Don't Drink And Drive. You Might Hit A Bump And Spill Your Drink.
**********
Q: What do you get if you cross a J.A.P. with a computer?
A: A computer that never goes down on you.
Q: What does a J.A.P say while making love?
A: Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.
Q: Whats black, white and red and has a hard time getting thru a revolving
door?
A: A Nun with a spear thru her head.
Q: Whats 6 miles long and moves at 2 miles per hour?
A: A Mexican funeral procession with one set of jumper cables.
Q: Whats the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
A: With a porcupine the prick is on the outside.
Q: Why don't Indians use John Wayne toilette paper?
A: Because it's rough, it's tough, and it don't take no shit from Indians.
Q: If Russia attacks Turkey from the rear, do you think greece would help.
Q: What do you get when 17 Niggers are sky-diving and their chutes don't open?
A: A new parking lot.
Q: What are the qualifications for being a girl friend of a Hell's Angel?
A: Being able to suck start a Harley.
Q: Whats the difference between Niggers and snow tires?
A: Snow tires don't sing when you put the chains on them.
Q: What do cue balls and Mexicans have in common?
A: The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
Q: Why do lions in Africa lick each others asses?
A: To get the taste of Nigger out of their mouths.
Q: What do Loretta Swit and Richard Prior have in common?
A: They have both had Major Burns on their faces.
If You Can't Feed'em, Don't Breed'em.
**********
Q: Whats the definition of thorny?
A: A thailor at thea.
Q: Why did the Pollock wrap duct tape around his hamster?
A: So it wouldn't explode when he fucked it.
Q: Where does virgin wool come from?
A: Ugly sheep.
Q: Why are electric trains like a womans tits?
A: They were mean't for children, but it's the fathers that play with them.
Q: What does Pontiac stand for?
A: Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Caddilac.
Q: Why does Georgia have Niggers and California have earthquakes?
A: California had first pick.
Q: What do you call an Italian that marries a Nigger?
A: A social climber.
Q: In Greece, how do they seperate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
Q: What is a Japanese girl's favorite day?
A: Erection day.
Q: Whats the definition of Macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q: Why did God create Women?
A: As a life support unit for a cunt.
Q: What is the definition of a wife?
A: An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
Q: What does AIDES stand for?
A: Adios Infected Dick Sucker.
Never Try To Teach A Pig To Enjoy The Finer Things In Life.
It's A Waste Of Your Time And It Annoys The Pig.
**********
Q: What does GAY stand for?
A: Got Aides Yet.
Q: What do you get when you mix holy water with castor oil?
A: A religious movement.
Q: What's Blue and comes in brownies?
A: Cub Scouts.
Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?
A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
Q: What do you get if you have 10,000 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: Whats brown, soft and sits on a piano bench?
A: Beethoven's first movement.
Q: Why don't they give Pollocks more than half an hour for lunch?
A: They don't want to have to retrain them.
Q: How was the Grande Canyon formed?
A: Some Jew dropped a nickel down a golpher hole.
Q: Why cant you circumcize Iranians?
A: Because, there is no end to those pricks.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: Because, they don't have balls to scratch.
Q: How do you tell if a woman is wearing panty hose?
A: Her ankles swell when she farts.
Q: What do you get if you cross a gay Eskimo with a Nigger?
A: A snow blower that doesn't work.
Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 20 blind lesbians at a fish market.
Not All Men Are Fools, Some Are Bachelors.
**********
Q: Whats the last thing that goes through a bugs mind as it hits your
windshield?
A: It's asshole.
Q: What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A: They both like a nice tight seal.
Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant?
A: Wipe it off.
Q: What do you get if you cross a monkey with a Pollock?
A: You don't. Monkeys won't screw Pollocks.
Q: What did Lincoln say after his 5 day drunk?
A: I freed What!?!
Q: Did you hear about the new brand of Jewish tires?
A: They not only stop on a dime but, they pick it up.
Q: What is a J.A.P's idea of natural child birth?
A: Absolutely no make-up.
Q: What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
A: In a crucifixion, they throw the whole Jew out.
Q: How do you break a Pollocks fingers?
A: Hit him in the nose.
Q: What do you call a Pollock with 1500 girlfriends?
A: A sheepherder.
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can appreciate them too.
Q: What did the Pollock do before the cock fight?
A: Greased his zipper.
Q: Whats the definition of a maniac?
A: An Italian in a whorehouse with a credit card.
Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From
Mediocre Minds. Albert Einstein
**********
Q: What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red?
A: A pelican and a Nigger fighting over a carp.
Q: How many Mexicans does it take to grease a car?
A: Just one if you hit him right.
Q: How can we tell that Adam and Eve weren't black?
A: Have you ever tried to take ribs away from a black?
Q: Did you hear about the black kid who had diarrhea?
A: He thought he was melting.
Q: Why do Niggers always have sex on their minds?
A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
Q: Why are Synagogues round?
A: So the Jews can't hide in the corners when the collection plate is passed.
Q: How long is a hare on a rabbit?
A: About 10 seconds.
Q: What is the Puerto Rican version of Roots called?
A: Weeds.
Q: What do you call a Nigger driving a Rolls Royce?
A: A car thief.
Q: How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed?
A: Put Velcro on the ceiling.
Q: How do you get him down?
A: Tell the Mexican kids in the neighborhood it's a Pinata.
Q: Why do Niggers wear wide brim hats?
A: To keep the pigeons from shitting on their lips.
Q: Why did the Pollock throw the bowling balls in the river?
A: He thought they we're Nigger eggs.
There Are Very Few Personal Problems That Cannot Be Solved By A Suitable
Application Of High Explosives.
**********
Q: How do you start a riot in Poland?
A: Roll a nickel down the street.
Q: How do you hide money from a Pollock?
A: Put under of a bar of soap.
Q: How do you cut off a Pollocks head?
A: Slam down the toilette seat while he's eating.
Q: Why did God give women pussies?
A: So men would talk to them.
Q: How do you break up a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your door step?
A: Matt.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
A: Art.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs when he's swimming?
A: Bob.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs when he's water skiing?
A: Skip.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs when he's in a hole?
A: Doug or Phil.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs when he's in a butcher
shop?
A: Chuck.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs when he's in your back
pocket?
A: Hank.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs when he's in your wallet?
A: Bill.
The Word For The Day Is Legs. Let's Spread The Word.
**********
Q: How about two guys W/ no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
A: Kurt n'Rod.
Q: How about a guy and a girl W/ no arms and no legs at a cook out?
A: Frank n' Patty.
Q: How many Pollocks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. 1 to hold the bulb while the other 4 turn the ladder.
Q: How many real men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 100. 1 to do the actual work and the other 99 to share in the experience.
Q: How many J.A.P.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to get the R.C., the other to go call Dad.
Q: How many Jewish Mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Noonnnnne. I'll just sit here in the dark.
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It must be willing to change itself.
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only 2, but I don't know how they get in there.
Q: Why don't black mothers let their babies play in sand boxes?
A: The cats keep covering them up.
Q: How can you get 44 jews in a VolksWagen?
A: 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 40 in the ash tray.
Q: What did they call an epiletic Jew in Nazi Germany?
A: Shake and Bake.
Q: How many Italians can you get into a LeCar ?
A: None. They keep sliding out underneath the doors.
Gun Control Is Being Able To Hit Your Target.
**********
Q: How can you get 100 babies into a baby carriage?
A: La Machine.
Q: In a neighborhood of identical houses, how can you tell which house belongs
to the Pollocks?
A: It's the one with the diving board over the cess pool.
Q: During the last Census, it was discovered that the Polish population of the
major metropolotan areas had dropped by over 10%. Do you know why?
A: The Niggers found out they tasted like carp.
Q: What do you call a pretty girl in Poland?
A: A tourist.
Q: What do you call a Pollock with an IQ of 165?
A: A village.
Q: Do you know why the Challenger only had one Nigger on board?
A: They didn't know it was going to explode.
Q: What is the definition of a shame?
A: A bus load of Niggers going over a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a crying shame?
A: One empty seat.
Q: Did you hear about the blind Prostitute?
A: You've got to hand it to her.
Q: What's the difference between the Lawerence Welk band and a moose?
A: On a moose, the horns are in front and the asshole is in the rear.
Q: Why do Mexicans drive those low to the ground cars?
A: Because it's easier to pick lettuce.
Q: If a red house is made of red bricks, and a black house is made of black
bricks ,and a blue house is made of blue bricks, then what is a green house
made of?
A: Glass.
Feeling A Bit Romantic? Go Fuck Yourself.
**********
Q: Which one doesn't belong?
1) WIFE
2) MEAT
3) CLOCK
4) BLOW-JOB
A: #4. Because you can beat your wife, you can beat your meat and you can beat
the clock but, you can't beat a blow-job.
Q: How can a man tell if he's had a really good (or bad?) night of oral sex ?
A: When he wakes up with a lump in his throat and a string hanging out his
mouth.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Because, his dick was stuck in a chicken.
Q: Why did God invent booze?
A: So fat and ugly chicks could get laid too.
Q: Alternate definition of Macho:
A: A man who bangs his dick on the side of the urnal to knock the piss off.
Q: What do you call a hooker with no legs?
A: A Nightcrawler.
Q: How do you get a Mexican girl pregnant?
A: Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Q: Whats the definition of an 11?
A: A 10 that doesn't get headaches.
Q: What is the definition on a 10 in Greece?
A: The back end of a 3.
Q: Definition of a Macho woman:
A: One who kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Q: Why do women like to play Pac Man?
A: It's the only way they know to get eaten three times for a quarter.
Q: What's the difference between kinky and erotic?
A: With kinky you use the whole ckicken.
When I Die, I Want To Be Buried Up-Side-Down. That Way The Whole World Can
KISS MY ASS!
**********
Q: What's the square root of 69?
A: Ate something.
Q: What is the definition of a nymphomaniac?
A: A girl who likes every man in different.
Q: Why do women have legs?
A: So they won't leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.
Q: Where do elephants have their sex organs?
A: In their feet. If they step on you, your fucked.
Q: What's red and has seven little dents in it?
A: Snow White's cherry.
Q: What do a Nun and Seven-Up have in common?
A: Never had it, never will.
Q: Do you know how to get a cross-eyed girl pregnant?
A: Just fuck her, Stupid!
Q: What are five reasons why it would be a bitch to be an egg?
A: 1. You only get laid once.
2. You only get eaten once.
3. It takes you seven minutes in boiling water to get hard.
4. You have to cum in a box with 11 other guys.
5. The only one who ever sits on your face is your mother.
Q: What's the difference between love and herpes?
A: Herpes lasts forever.
Q: What do you call a truckload full of dildoes?
A: Toys for twats.
Q: What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?
A: Beef Strokemoff.
Q: Why does an elephant have 4 feet?
A: Because, 8 inches isn't enough.
The Best Part Of Your Father Ran Down Your Mother's Leg.
**********
Q: What do Soy Beans and dildoes have in common?
A: Both are meat substitutes.
Q: What's the difference between meat and chicken?
A: If you beat your chicken, it would die.
Q: What do you call a cow with an abortion?
A: De-Calfinated.
Q: What do physicians call a pimple on a Pollock's ass.
A: A brain tumor.
Q: What did the Pollock do with his first fifty cent piece?
A: Married her.
Q: What do you get when you cross a potato with a penis?
A: A dicktater
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
A: Because, his wife died.
Q: Why is it a bitch being a dick?
A: Because: You've got a head with no brains,
Two nuts follow you around all day,
Your neighbor is an asshole, and
Your best friend is a cunt.
Q: What did the blind man say as he walked past the fish market?
A: Good Morning ladies.
Q: What comes after 69?
A: Mouthwash.
Q: How can you tell if a girl is a great cocksucker?
A: When you have to pull the sheets out of the crack of your ass!
Q: Do sluts like sex with the lights on or off?
A: Yes.
Q: What do butter and a whore have in common?
A: They both spread for bread.
If You Like Sex And Travel Then, Go Take A Fucking Hike.
**********
Q: What did the slut say to the baseball team?
A: "Who's on first".
Q: What happens if a slut isn't in bed by midnight?
A: She goes home.
Q: what do you call a female clone?
A: A CLUNT.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pollock and a mongoloid with one leg?
A: A Polaroid one step.
Q: What is better than four roses on a piano?
A: Tulips on an organ.
Q: What do you call two faggots named Bob?
A: Oral Roberts.
Q: What can old tampons be used for?
A: Teabags for vampires.
Q: How can you get three Pollocks off a couch?
A: Jerk one off and the other two will come.
Q: How do you identify a head nurse?
A: Dirty knees.
Q: What do the post office and Fayva shoes have in common?
A: 50,000 black loafers.
Q: How do you get a one-armed Pollock out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: How do you cure a J.A.P of nymphomania?
A: Marry her.
Q: Who is Billy Jean King's latest sponser?
A: Snap-On Tools.
Reality Is An Illusion Produced By An Alcohol Deficiency.
**********
Q: Why did the Italian guy staple his nuts together?
A: If he couldn't lick 'em, he'd join 'em.
Q: If there two Pollocks on a couch, which one is the cocksucker?
A: The one spitting feathers.
Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?
A: ...
Q: What do you get if you cross a Nigger with Bo Derek?
A: A tem of spades.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Rabbit farts.
Q: What's old, wrinkled and smells like Ginger?
A: Fred Astaire's face.
Q: Why do Niggers wear high heeled shoes?
A: So their knuckles won't drag.
Q: What did they call the first black test tube baby?
A: Janitor in a drum.
Q: What do you call a happy Roman?
A: Glad-He-Ate-Her.
Q: What does an elephant use for a tampon?
A: Sheep.
Q: Why do Niggers want to move to Taiwan?
A: So they can be called Ty-Coons.
Q: What's the definition of a virgin in Tennessee?
A: A twelve year old that can outrun her father.
Q: Why do Italian mothers have such wide shoulders?
A: From raising dumb bells.
You Must Be Walking Backwards. All I Can See Is An Asshole.
**********
Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker?
A: A rooster says "Cock-a-doodle-doo" and a hooker says "Any-cockle-do".
Q: Why doesn't Mummar Khadaffi go out drinking any more?
A: He prefers to stay home and get bombed.
Q: Do you know what makes Russian food stand out?
A: It glows in the dark.
Q: What were Christi McCullah's last words to her husband?
A: You feed the dog and I'll feed the fish.
Q: Why do Greeks wear those funky hats?
A: So they can tell which end to wipe.
Q: What were the last words of the space shuttle Challenger's commander?
A: NO, I mean't Bud Light.
Q: What were Christi McCullah's last words?
A: "What does this little red button do?"
Q: What do a frying pan and a women have in common?
A: You must get them hot before you lay the meat on them.
Q: What five words would you expect to hear addressed toward a Nigger in a
three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
Q: What do Pygmies in Africa do during an elephant stampede?
A: Climb trees.
Q: What is the brown goo between elephants toes?
A: Slow Pygmies.
Are You Into Casual Sex Or Should I Dress-Up?
**********
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About six beers.
Q: What's black, has white eyes and knocks on glass?
A: A Nigger in a microwave oven.
Q: What do you call two Vietnamese in a Trans-Am?
A: The Gooks of Hazard.
Q: Why did the guy call his dog Herpes?
A: Because it wouldn't heel.
Q: How can you tell when a J.A.P has had an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.
Q: How are the Pink Panther and a Gigilo alike?
A: They're both Peter Sellers.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing over a cliff in your new Mercedes.
Q: Did you hear about the Pollock they found dead in his cell with bumps on
his head?
A: He tried to hang himself with a rubber-band.
Q: Why don't they let Pollocks swim in the ocean?
A: Because, they leave a ring.
Q: How come Pollocks never make kool-aid?
A: Because, they can't figure out how to get a quart of water into the
envelope.
Q: What's a J.A.P's idea of perfect sex?
A: Simultaneous headaches.
If I Had Wanted To Hear From An Asshole, I Would Have Farted.
**********
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
A: In case you miss.
Q: What's the difference between a moose and the Lawerence Welk Orchestra?
A: On a moose the horns are up front and the asshole is in the rear.
Q: What did they call the sheep that the brittish soldiers brought back from
the Falklands?
A: Warbrides.
Q: What's the fourth biggest lie?
A: It's only a cold sore.
Q: Why was a time-out called in the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Q: What's the difference between a vulture and a Jewish Mother?
A: At least a vulture waits until your dead to eat your heart out.
Q: What's a J.A.P.'s favorite position?
A: Facing Marshall Field's.
Q: Why does a J.A.P. close her eyes during sex?
A: So she can pretend she's shopping.
Q: Did you hear about the Pollock who bought four snowtires?
A: They melted on the way home.
Q: Did you hear about the Pollock that lost $50 on the football game?
A: $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.
Q: What do they call kids born in Whore houses?
A: Brothel Sprouts.
Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: A 7'2" Nigger with a small pecker, that can't play basketball.
Q: Did you hear about the new Black French Restaurant?
A: It's called Chez What!
Life Is A Beach And Then You Get A Sun Burn.
**********
Q: Why do Polish boys have snub noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: Definition of stress:
A: The conflict that occurs when the mind overrides the body's natural urge to
choke the living shit out of some asshole that desperately needs it.
Q: Did you hear about the guy who always fucked a pussy before he ate it.
A: He was particular about who he ate after.
Q: What do you call a girl with one leg longer then the other?
A: Ileen
Q: What do you call an oriental girl with one leg longer then the other.
A: Irene.
Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Air is free.
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a phone booth?
A: All of them.
Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a chicken?
A: A Butcher.
Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with several chickens?
A: A Rancher.
Q: What do they call Venetian Blinds in Ethopia?
A: Bunk Beds.
Q: Who has the measurments 10-10-10?
A: Miss Ethiopia.
I'm Not Completely Worthless. I Can Always Serve As A Bad Example.
**********
Q: Why do so many Polish women get killed in auto accidents?
A: Because they like to use speed bumps for washboards.
Q: What do Italians call a '65 Impala?
A: A bridal suite.
Q: What do you call 25 Ethiopians carring a ladder?
A: A comb.
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Lead Me Not Into Temptation. I Can Find It Myself.
**********
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
Chinese Dinner
A sweet young thing came home from a date one night and her mother was
waiting up for her. When the girl walked in the door her mother noticed that
she had rice in her hair. "Anne", said her mother, "You didn't tell me you
we're going to a wedding. "I didn't, mother", replied Anne, "I was giving a
blow-job to a chinaman and he threw up all over me".
First Time
An old Indian was feeling out of sorts one day so he went to the medicine
man to get some professional help. After a short conference the Medicine man
determined that the Indian's problem was that he had never had sex and he so
informed him. So the Indian goes to the local social club and tells the Madam,
"Have wampum, want woman!" The Madam questions the man and discovers that he
has never had a woman before and tells him that he must first go out and get
some experience. So the old Indian goes back to the Medicine man for advice.
The Medicine man thinks for a minute and tells the Indian to go into the
forest, find a tree with a knot hole and practice on it for a while.
A few days later the old Indian goes back to the social club and tells the
Madam, "Got wampum, got experience, want woman!". The Madam sends him up to a
roomand a little while a nice looking little thing walks in and sits down on
thebed. The old Indian instructs her to stand up and she does. He reaches
under the bed, pulls out one of the wooden slats and thwocks her hard across
the ass. "What are you doing, you pervert", she screamed. He replied,"Checkum
fer bees."
Farming?
A class room full of students were having show and tell. Little Johnie, a
farm boy, was showing his hoe when a black kid raised his hand and said,
"That ain't no hoe. My sister's got a hoe and it don't look nuthin' like
that."
Hardbodies
A certain Pollock had always been envious of his friends ability to pick
up chicks at the beach. So one day he persuaded the friend to explain how he
did it. The friend tells him, "I just put a potato in my swim suit. It drives
the chicks crazy." So the pollock tries it. A few days later he saw his friend
at the beach and has bad news. "That potato trick just doesn't work for me.
Women seem to go out of their way to avoid me these days." His friend replied,
"Well, why don't you try wearing the potato in the front and see what
happens."
Animal Trainer
A guy walks in to a bar with a huge gorilla. The bartender asks him what
the deal is and the man says that the gorilla has been specially trained so
that when the animal is hit in the jaw, he drops to the floor and gives a
blow-job. The bartender, of course, doesn't believe him so the man hauls off
and hits the gorilla square in the face. The gorilla picks himself up, brushes
himself off and drops to his knees and gives the man a BJ. After a second
demonstration to a still disbelieving crowd, the man asks the bartender if he
would like to try it. "Sure", Replies the bartender, "Justdon't hit me as hard
as you hit that gorilla."
Porkies
A man was walking to church one Sunday and happened across a cute little
girl sitting along the sidewalk with her dog. "What is your name little
girl?", asked the man. "Candy", replied the little girl. "They call me that
because I like candy so much. This is my dog Porky." The man then asked, "Do
you call him that because he likes pork so much?" "No", she said, "We call him
that because he likes to fuck pigs."
On Leave
A sailor was talking about the last time he'd had leave... "So it was my
first fuckin' leave in six fuckin' months. I dropped off my fuckin' uniform at
the fuckin' cleaners, went to the fuckin' bar, picked up a fuckin' broad, took
her back to the fuckin' hotel, laid her out on the fuckin' bed and had fuckin'
sexual intercourse.
Old Fruit
A nun goes into the doctors office, worried that she has crabs. After a
short examination, the doctor says, "I have good news and bad news. The good
news is that you don't have crabs. The bad news is that your cherry is so old
that it has fruit files."
Odd Jobs
A sailor in New Orleans has only four dollars to have a good time with. He
spends $1.00 on a pack of ciggarettes, $1.00 on a bottle of beer, and offers
the remaining $2.00 to a tough old whore who gladly accepts. They go to her
hovel by the docks and she immediately lifts her dress and bends over. "Come
on. Turn around.", The sailor says angrily, "I don't want to butt fuck." The
whore replies, "Neither do I, But you do want that bottle of beer open, don't
you?"
Out Of This World
Two martians are flying around the earth one night and land near a gas
station. One of the martians goes over to the ciggarette machine and asks,
"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" The other martian
walsk over, points to the gas pump and says, "Don't bother with her Qmmpzzgl.
We're no match for earth men. Look at that one over there, sleeping with his
dick in his ear."
Bad Timing
A man is having excruciating pains in his groin, accompanied by intense
headaches so he goes to the doctor who after an extended examination concludes
that the man must have his testicles amputated since they are building up
extraordinary pressure and causing many other problems. The man of course is
despondant but can see no alternative. He goes home and tells his wife, who
naturally takes it very well, and the next he goes under the knife.
After about a week of recovery, the man is up and around but is still very
depressed so his wife tells him that when ever she's depressed, she goes out
and buys some new clothes. He thinks this to be a good idea and decides to go
out and get some really fancy duds at a custom taylor shop. So he walks into
the taylor shop and tells the taylor what he wants. The taylor stands back,
looks at the man and says, "34 inch chest". The man replies, "That's exactly
right, amazing." The taylor then says, "32 inch waist", and the man says,
"That's exactly right, how can you tell?" The taylor then declares, "Size 33
underwear." The men replies, "Nope, gotcha there, I wear size 31 underwear."
And the taylor replies, "Oh No, if you wore size 31 underwear your balls would
build up tremendous pressure and you'd get terrible headaches!"
Donkey Racing In Texas
A priest wanted to raise money for his church and since there was a fortune
to be made in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in
some races. At the local horse auction however, the going price for horses was
so steep that he wound up buying a donkey. The priest figured that since he
had the beast that he might as well enter it in the races anyway. After all
what did he have to lose.
Well God was with the priest's donkey and it came in third and the next
day's racing form ran the headline "PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS".
The priest was so pleased that he entered the donkey in another race. This
time the donkey won and the next day the racing form headlines read, "PRIEST'S
ASS OUT IN FRONT".
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
priest not to enter the donkey in any more races. The racing form carried the
story with the banner, "BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS".
This was the last straw for the Bishops patience and he ordered the priest
to dispose of the donkey at once. The priest decided to give the animal to a
nun at a convent across town and the racing form liner read, "NUN HAS BEST ASS
IN TOWN".
The Bishop fainted! He informed the nun that she would have get rid of the
donkey pronto. The nun found a farmer who was willing to buy the animal for
ten dollars. The headlines of the next day's racing form read, "NUN PEDDLES
ASS FOR TEN BUCKS".
They buried the Bishop the next day and the headlines all over town read,
"TOO MUCH ASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BISHOP'S DEATH".
Police Tactics
Two of Alabama's finest were on patrol out in the country one evening when
they spotted what appeared to be somthing floating in the swamp off to the
north side of the road. They stopped and upon closer investigation discovered
a black man wrapped in chains floating face down in the mire. Subsequent
discussion determined that the Sheriff himself should be called to the scene
since he would better know how to handle the situation.
Upon arrival at the scene the Sheriff assessed the situation, spat once and
said,"Ain't that just like a nigger. Stole more chain then he could swim
with."
Goin' To A Party
Once upon a time a soul brother named Rastus decided to have a costume
party were everybody was to come disguised as their faaaavorite emotion. So he
sent out all the invitations and come the night of the party at the appointed
time there came a knock at the door. Rastus went to the door and there was
liza dressed all in green. "Why Liza", jived Rastus, "You is dressed all in
green. What emotion is you s'posed to be."
"I be's fuckin' envy Rastus." She replied, "I be's fuckin' green with
envy."
Rastus bade her come in. Another knock came on the door and it was Jayrome.
Jayrome was dressed from head to toe in red. "What Emotion be's you, Jayrome",
asked Rastus.
"I be's fuckin' rage, Rastus", replied Jayrome, "I be's fuckin' red with
rage."
"Enter Rage.", Said Rastus.
Later on into the evening a loud knock came at the door and when Rastus
answered he saw standing before him the African King. He was stark naked with
a big ol' hardon and a pear stuck on the end of it. Rastus was very suprised
but he managed to blurt out, "Now King you knows that you is s'posed to come
to this here party dressed as your faaavorite emotion but, you don't look like
no emotion I ever did see!"
The African King looked at Rastus with sorrow and said, "Rastus, I be's
dispair. I be's Fuckin' dis-pear."
The Human Kite
The African King decided to take up hang gliding. So he went out and bought
all his equipment and took lessons and got pretty good at it. Eventally he got
so good that the northern gliding sites were no longer a challenge so he
planned a trip down south to the high cliffs.
The African King jumped off the highest cliff there and was off soaring
through what seemed like time and space totally oblivious to everything below
him. Meanwhile on the earth below Jed, a farmer of the foothills looked up
from his rocking chair on the porch and saw the biggest bird he ever did see.
"Martha, Get me mah scattergun", He yelled at his wife.
"Bang Bang", He emptied both barrels.
"Did yer git 'em Jed", Asked Martha who was hidden safley inside.
Jed replied, "Nope, But I made 'em drop that nigger he was carryin'."
Hi Ho Silver...Away
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were out riding on the lone prairie and they were
coming over a low rise when before them appeared the entire Sioux nation,
seemingly out of nowhere. Said the Lone Ranger to Tonto, "We in deep shit now,
Tonto."
To which Tonto replied, "Whaddaya mean WE paleface?". And rode off into the
sunset.
Well, the Sioux nation captured the Lone Ranger and took him back to their
campfire and were going to burn him at the stake in accordance with their new
policy concerning renegade palefaces. Just before the event was to commence,
the big chief came up to our hero and said, "Lone Ranger, We Sioux have a
tradition where a man may make a last request before he is excuted. Normally
we don't give this oppurtunity to white man but, since you have always been
honest with us we have decided to give give you your last request."
The Lone Ranger thought for a minute and said, "OK Chief, I am honored.
Just send my horse Silver over here and he'll take care of it."
The chief look at the Lone Ranger as if ne we're queer but, brought the
horse over just the same. The Lone Ranger whispered something in Silver's ear
and the horse took off at a gallop. About 20 minutes later Silver was back
with a gorgeous blonde woman on his back who promptly dismounted, stripped and
laid down on the ground in front of the Lone Ranger. Of course the Sioux
nation knew what the Lone Ranger had in mind and untied him and let him go to
it. When he was finished they tied him up again.
Now the chief was just fucking amazed and he said to the Lone Ranger, "Lone
Ranger, Me just fucking amazed. Gotta' see that one again."
They brought Silver over and once again the Lone Ranger whispered something
in his ear and Silver was off at a gallop. This time he was back in 10 minutes
with a redheaded knock-out minus the clothes who jumped down off the saddle,
laid down and spread her legs wide. The indians cut the Lone Ranger loose a
second time and he dove in. The chief was just FUCKING AMAZED and he said to
the Lone Ranger, "Lone Ranger me just FUCKING AMAZED. Gotta see'em one more
time but then you die."
They brought Silver back and the Lone Ranger grabbed him by the ears and
said, "Read my lips Silver, GET THE POSSEE."
Feloneous What?
There was this bigot from Chicago and he was driving along an old country
road in Tennessee when he came across two niggers riding a bicycle built for
two. His forst inclination was to run them down since he hated niggers anyway,
but he thought better of it when he remembered the stories he'd heard about
the southern jails. As luck would have it though, just as he was passing by
them, the two niggers turned right in front of him and when he hit them, they
went flying. One of them landed in the bushes and the other came crashing
through the windshield, landing in the front seat.
Well, the man was scared to death and decided to run and call the Sheriff's
office right away in hopes of avoiding a stint in jail for hit and run. When
the Sheriff arrived he surveyed the situation as the man ranted that he didn't
mean to hit the Niggers. Finally the Sheriff said, "Now calm down boy. We can
settle this real easy. We'll charge that one in there with breaking and
entering and that one over there with leaving the scene of an accident.
Fore
Jesus and Moses we're out playing golf one day when they came upon a short par
three hole. Jesus said, "Well Moses, What would Arnie Palmer use on a hole
like this."
Moses replied, "Well J.C., I think Arnie would use a four iron but he's
pretty good. I'd recommend a three wood."
Well, if Arnie can do it with a four iron so can I.",Said Christ and
proceded to tee off with His four iron. The first ball landed in the water
trap, as did the second, third and fourth. Christ had run out of balls so He
went out and walked on the water to see if He could find them. About that time
another foursome came up to the tee and seeing Christ on the water one of them
asked Moses, "Who does that guy think he is? Jesus Christ?"
Moses Responded, "Hell no, He is Jesus Christ. He thinks He's Arnie
Palmer."
Keeping up with the Jones's
Three men, an Accountant, an Engineer and a Salesman, had been friends for
life. They had each become very successful and very status conscious and we're
constantly competing with other over material things. One got a huge house and
the other two had to get one too. Another got a new car so did the other two.
Ad Infinitum.
One day they we're sitting around talking about their dogs. Needless to
say, each thought that he had the best dog and they finally decided to stage a
test that would settle the issue conclusively. So, the next they met in a corn
field outside of town with their respective dogs. The Accountant went first.
He reached down, petted his dog and said "Debit, GO!".
The dog ran out into the field, gathered all the bones, piled them up
neatly, counted them and came back to his master and barked once for each bone
in the pile.
The Engineer said, "Ha, That's nothing." he looked at his dog and
commanded,"Slide-rule, GO!".
Slide-rule was off like a shot. He ran around the pile of bones three times
and in a flurry of activity he built a bridge and walked across it back to his
master.
The Salesman stood there shaking his head as he looked at the other two
dogs and said finally, "I don't know about you guys." With that he looked at
his dog and said, "Go gettum, Quota."
Quota Ran over to the bridge of bones, knocked it down, ate the bones, ran
over to the other dogs and fucked them both and then took the rest of the day
off.
Paybacks are a bitch
A businness man's partner is lying on his death bed in the hospital so he
goes to pay his final visit. The partner says to him, "John, now that I'm
dieing I have a confession to make. Even though we've been best friends for
all these years, I still embezzeled a million dollars from our company and I
sold our trade secrets for another million and I even fired that receptionest
out of spite because I knew she was in love with you. I'm sorry John, I've
been a real heel."
John repiled, "Well my friend, All is atoned for, because I'm the one who
poisoned you."
Stud Service
Two priests, one Catholic and one Lutheran, we're killed in an automobile
wreck and showed up at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looked in the great book
and informed them that they we're early and weren't expected for another year
so they would have to return to earth until their proper time. They we're told
that they could go back as anything they wanted to and each was asked what
their choice was. The Lutheran priest thought for a moment and said, "I've
always wanted to be as free as a bird so I would like to be a large Eagle
soaring over the mountains."
No sooner had he spoken the last word, then he dissappeared in a cloud of
smoke.
The Catholic priest saw this and realized what a good oppurtunity he had
been given and commenced to thinking. Soon he had made his decision. "I've
always been celebate in this life and I'd like to have some fun for the next
year. I want to be a stud."
PHoof. A cloud of smoke enveloped him and he was sent back to earth as a
stud.
About a year later St. Peter sent for an angel and told him to go collect
the two priests since it was time for them to enter heaven. The angel asked
St. Peter where they could be found and St. Peter Replied, "Well lets see, the
Lutheran is soaring over the Rocky mountains and the Catholic should be on a
snow tire somewhere in Wisconsin.
An Irish Surprise
The Pope died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the Pearly Gates, St.
Peter showed him to a little hovel and told him that these we're his quarters.
The Pope being a holy man humbly accepted. At lunch time he was brought a
crust of bread to eat. He thought to himself, "This isn't what I expected from
heaven."
The next day an Irish Attorney arrived at the Gates. He was greeted with a
fanfare, given a large mansion to live in, an inpressive entourage and fancy
foor to eat. The Pope was incensed and went to St. Peter and complained,
"Listen St. Peter, Im a Pope and I'm living in this hovel and eating bread
crusts, while thes guy who is an Irish Attorney is living like a king. What's
the story here?"
St. Peter replied, "Hey listen, We've got hundreds of Popes here in heaven,
but this guy is the first Irish Attorney we've ever gotten.
A Kentucky Virgin?
A young Kentucky couple got married and went to the lovely Motel 6 for
their honeymoon. They were just getting comfy and ready to consumate the
marriage when she turned to him and said, "Darlin', I'm a virgin."
He went crazy. He threw stuff all over the room and screamed at her at the
top of his lungs. Finally, he stormed out of the hotel and went to his uncle
Deke's house. When he arrived, his uncle asked him, "Whatcha doin' here boy?
You is supposed ta be on yer honeymoon."
The lad replied, "I dunno Uncle, I dunno. Turns out the bitch is a VIRGIN!"
Well Uncle Zeke being the smart one of the family, turned and said, "Son,
if she ain't good enough fer her own family, then she ain't good enough fer
us."
State Line Stopper
Back in the fifties, the State of Indiana was being overrun by Kentuckians
migrating into the state. So, the Senate passed a law stating that only
professional people could move from Kentucky to Indiana. They hoped that this
would not only reduce the number of immigrants, but also increase the quality
of the citizenry of Indiana. It didn't work as the following incident
demonstrates.
Indiana had set up road blocks to enforce their new law. The first car
pulled up and stopped and the guard explained the new law to the driver and
asked him what his occupation was. The driver said, "Well, I'm a Pilot."
The guard looked at his list of acceptable professions and replied, "Very
good. We are in need of Pilots. You may enter our state."
The next car arrived and the guard asked his profession. The driver
responded, "I'm a wood cutter."
The guard snickered, "Weeell, I'm sorry sir, but you can't come in to this
state, you see your not a professional person."
"Well then, how come you let my buddy go through?", asked the wood cutter.
The guard replied, "That man is a Pilot. We need more Pilots in this
state."
"Yeah, that's true. He is a Pile-it." replied the wood cutter. "I cut the
wood and he piles it."
It's All In Your Horror Scope
AQUARIUS: (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive that you don't know how to
use and are inclined to be inventive, or so you believe. You lie a great deal.
You are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same
misstakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
PISCES: (Feb 19 - Mar 20) You have a vivid imagination and often believe that
you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence over your
few friends and people resent you flaunting your power. You lack confidence
and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their
noses a lot.
ARIES: (Mar 21 - Apr 20) You are the pioneer type and hold most people in
contempt. You're quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advise. You are
very narrow minded because both of your brain cells are fighting each other.
You are a prick.
TAURUS: (Apr 21 - May 20) You are practical and persistent. You have dogged
determination and a one track mind, because it can only handle one thing at a
time. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothing but
a Goddamn communist.
GEMINI: (May 21 - Jun 20) You are a quick and intelligent and people like you
because you are bi-sexual. You expect to get too much for too little. This
means that you are a cheap bastard.
CANCER: (Jun 21 - Jul 22) You are symphathetic and understanding to other
people's problems. They think you are a sucker, because you are easy. You are
always putting things off and as a result you will always be on welfare and
won't be worth a flying fuck at a rolling doghnut.
LEO: (Jul 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself to be a born leader. Others think
you are pushy. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest critism. Your arrogance
is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and kiss mirrors a lot.
VIRGO: (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. This
nit-picking drives your friends crazy. You are cold and unemotional and often
fall asleep during sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
LIBRA: (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time
with reality. If you are male, you are probably a faggot. Chances for
employment and monetary gain are excellent as most Libra women are whores. All
Libras die with venerial disease.
SCORPIO: (Oct 23 - Nov 21) You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.
You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of
ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
SAGITTARIUS: (Nov 22 - Dec 21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have
the reckless tendancy to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority
of Sagittarians are drunks or potheads. People laugh at you a lot because you
are always getting fucked.
CAPRICORN: (Dec 22 - Jan 19) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
You are basicly a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any
importance. You should kill yourself.
WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
1) You can enjoy BEER all month long.
2) BEER stains wash out.
3) You don't have to wine and dine BEER.
4) Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car while you go
hunting.
5) When your BEER goes flat you toss it.
6) BEER is never late.
7) Hangovers go away.
8) A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another BEER.
9) BEER labels come off without a fight.
10) You know you can ALWAYS pick up a BEER when you go to a bar.
11) BEER never gets a headache.
12) After you've had a BEER, the bottle is still worth ten cents.
13) A BEER doesn't get upset when you get home with BEER on your breath.
14) When you pour a BEER, you ALWAYS get good head.
15) You don't have to feel guilty about having more than one BEER in a night.
16) A BEER always goes down easily.
17) You can share a BEER with your friends.
18) You always know that you are the first one to pop a BEER.
19) A BEER is always WET.
20) BEER does not demand equality.
21) You can have a BEER in public.
22) BEER doesn't care when you come.
23) A frigid BEER is a good BEER.
24) You don't need to wash a BEER before it tastes good.
TO: All Personnel FROM: The Management
It has been to our attention that there has been excessive use of foul
and abusive language in the normal exchange of verbalities during routine
activities associated with this establishment. In order to alleviate this
imprudent situation, while at the same time not interfering with individual
freedom and originality, we have designed the following code system which
SHALL be used in place of the more commonly uttered "Catchy Phrases" as
listed below.
101 - Fuck you. 201 - Eat shit and die.
102 - Get the fuck off my back! 202 - Far fucking out!
103 - I hate this fucking place. 203 - Fuck you very much.
104 - Lovely, Simply fucking lovely. 204 - Go piss up a rope.
105 - Hang it out your ass! 205 - I don't fucking care!
106 - Go tell someone who gives a shit 206 - I just got fucked.
107 - Fuck it, Just fuck it. 207 - Go pound sand in your ass.
108 - Beats the shit out of me! 208 - Where the fuck is my drink?
109 - You've got to be shitting me. 209 - Who called this fucking meeting
110 - Get bent! anyway?
111 - Pardon me sir, but you obviously 210 - Answer your phone, you mother
mistook me for someone who fucking son-of-a-bitch!
gives a damn. 211 - Merry Fucking Christmas.
112 - It won't fucking work. 212 - Big fucking deal.
113 - I didn't design the Goddamn 213 - Holy fucking shit!
thing, I just installed the 214 - Jesus Horatio Christ!!
mother fucker. 215 - Shove this fucking place
114 - Yo, pecker head! straight up your ass.
115 - Shit! Goddamn it! Son-of-a- 216 - Fuck me runnin'.
bitch'n bastard asshole. 217 - Check it out. I'm Outta here. I
116 - You fucking jerk! got a new job!!!!
117 - _______ is a fucking faggot. 218 - _______ gives good head!
118 - I'm not waking the boss up 219 - How in the name of fuck do I
for that! get myself into this kind of
119 - Hair pies,fur burgers. fucking bullshit!!?
301 - Your fired!
NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY
SICKNESS: No longer a valid excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's
statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor's,
you are able to come to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE: (For an operation) We are no longer allowing this practice.
We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may about needing an operation. We
believe that as long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever
you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you
are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than what we
bargained for.
RESTROOM BREAKS: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the
future we will follow the practice of going to the bathroom in alphabetical
order. For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00am to
8:05am, 'B' will go from 8:05am to 8:10am etc. If you are unable to go at your
specified time, it will be necessary to wait until the day when your turn
comes again.
DEATH: (other than your own) This is no excuse. There is nothing that you can
do for them and we are sure that funeral arrangements can be attended to by
someone in a lesser position. On the other hand, if the funeral can be held in
the late afternoon, we will be happy to allow you to leave work one hour
early, provided that your share of the work is enough ahead to keep the job
going in your absence.
DEATH: (Your own) This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like to
have at least two weeks notice, as we feel that is your duty to train someone
to do your job.
|
|
|
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.
totse.com certificate signatures
|
|
|
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
|
|
|
|
|
|
