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Bureaucracy!

Form 6745-C-65468-KKL-5
United States of America
Federal Department
Bureaucratic Section
Office of Numbers, Forms and Red Tape
From: jim@alamode.ci.com (Jim Hurt)
Path: alamode!jim

Memo 562

To: All members of The Office of Numbers, Forms and Red Tape

From: The Chief Executor of The Office of Numbers, Forms, and Red Tape
Board of Rulers of The Office of Mismanagement Bureaucratism and
Glede Excitation

Re: Compliance and/or Noncompliance of Federal Department Standardized
Rules, and in Particular Rule 10,235,456-A sub-paragraph 4, section 8,
sentence 5, word 3, letter 11, through Rule 10,237,953-C sub Paragraph
9, section 11, sentence 3, word 9, letter 2, and including Rule 4,253-Z,
sub-paragraph 3, section 5, all inclusive except for sentence 6, word 8,
to wit: "the", of the included Second Edition of Federal Department
Standardized Rules Amendments Loose Leaf Folder, which shall, for the
purpose of Memo 562 and all documents henceforth from this date until
other wise nullified or made void by all pertaining sections of The
Federal Department Standardized Rules and The Federal Department
Standardized Rules Amendments Loose Leaf Folder and all other pertaining
works of The United States of America Federal Department, which will be
included in a later date in condensed form.

Message:

This is a memo for All members of The Office of Numbers, Forms and
Red Tape, from The Chief Executor of The Office of Numbers, Forms, and
Red Tape and The Board of Rulers of The Office of Mismanagement
Bureaucratism and Glede Excitation, concerning compliance and/or
noncompliance of Federal Department Standardized Rules, and in
Particular Rule 10,235,456-A sub- paragraph 4, section 8, sentence 5,
word 3, letter 11, through Rule 10,237,953-C sub Paragraph 9, section
11, sentence 3, word 9, letter 2, and including Rule 4,253-Z,
sub-paragraph 3, section 5, all inclusive except for sentence 6, word 8,
to wit: "the", of the included Second Edition of Federal Department
Standardized Rules Amendments Loose Leaf Folder, which shall, for the
purpose of Memo 562 and all documents henceforth from this date until
other wise nullified or made void by all pertaining sections of The
Federal Department Standardized Rules and The Federal Department
Standardized Rules Amendments Loose Leaf Folder and all other pertaining
works of The United States of America Federal Department, which will be
included in a later date in condensed form, which adjuncts and continues
the compliance and/or noncompliance of The Federal Department employees
and Bureaucrats with all parts of The Federal Department Standardized
Rules and The Federal Department Standardized Rules Amendments Loose
Leaf Folder and other pertinent documents and/or literature of rules and
regulations published by The Federal Department and The Eternal Bureau
of Internal and/or External Investigation and Instigation Section of ThE
Eternal Bureau of Internal and/or External Investigation and Instigation
Documents and/or Literature of Rules and/or Regulations, and Other
Various Important Sounding But Otherwise Meaningless Government
Institutions.

In Compliance, as opposed to noncompliance, with The Military Board
of Generals On Military Abbreviation and Condensation, with General
Confusion, Literature and Documentation On General Government
Abbreviation and Condensation, the novel, Herein and Henceforth in all
documents and/or literature from The Office of Numbers, Forms and Red
Tape certain abbreviations and/or condensations will herewith be used
herein, to wit: ONFoReT, USAFD, FDSR & FDSRALLF, EBIEIIDLRR, OVISBOMGI,
TMBGOMACWGCLDOGGAC, the novel, will hence forth and herein be used in
place of the various names, literature and/or documentation, boards,
etc., they stand for, with the personal note that all interested parties
may sort which is which out for themselves as no government documents
and/or literature is planned to explain the obvious and necessary
confusion such a statement such as this will needfully create and
encumber to wit: mass hysteria and/or apathy.

In the interest of continuity and the need to return to the subject
matter at hand, which is, to wit: Compliance and/or Noncompliance of
FDSR & FDSRALLF and in Particular Rule 10,235,456-A sub-paragraph 4,
section 8, sentence 5, word 3, letter 11, through Rule 10,237,953-C sub
Paragraph 9, section 11, sentence 3, word 9, letter 2, and including
Rule 4,253-Z, sub- paragraph 3, section 5, all inclusive except for
sentence 6, word 8, to wit: "the", see the first paragraph in this memo
for further qualification and explanation, and in the interest of saving
the time of The CEONFRT and the BRTOMBGE, it is necessary to state the
fact that a certain, liberal left wing neo-communist group of people who
collectively name themselves "environmentalists", and in particular a
very radical neo-wing left-communist group known only as "Green Wood"
has successfully lobbied in both houses of Congress, in the Supreme
Court, and even in the White House itself, and other, more influential
places, to pass such legislation as would limit the Governments right to
free, self-press, and would, so such liberal, radical leftist groups
claim, safe some useless old trees, so to wit: enforcements of said
rules, as outlined above, would therefore and henceforth, be subject to
tighter and stricter control, and such penalties as knowledgeable and
defined would be enforced as litigated and hitherto un-upheld by almost
anyone at all, including such esteemed institutions as those hitherto
untold, but much alluded to above and before, and even during, this
particular and righteous statement of fact and fantasy.

For those in lower managerial positions and other underpaid
employees who may, or may not, have read said referred to manuals as the
FDSR & FDSRALLF this will be a review and/or a condensation of said
rules and all referred to but unstated appendices and annulments, as
stated in this and all other pertinent and useful documents currently in
circulation and usage, as opposed to those not yet completed or even
conceived, to wit: Such statements do duly state that in an effort to
make said government of these United States Of America, and in
particular the Federal Branch of said government, more appropriate to
the needs of an ignorant public sector and population in this country of
democracy and leadership of the people, that this legislation should
currently and henceforth legislate that, in order to make said
government and specifically said branch. more accessible and
understandable to said public sector and population, due hereby make
note of the fact that many, if not some or all, of inter- and
extra-government documents and/or literature is in such a language that
certain of plebian classes have taken to call "Legislatese", and that
this is one of the two and/or three main reasons why said problem
between said government and said sector/population mainly occurs, that
to be coupled with the fact that most, if not many, government documents
and/or literature is classified material and is not given to the public.

Within said material quoted in not-quote form above, referenced
with material of historic matters and general background, and then
continues with the fact that most government documents and/or literature
is so obscure is for one and/or more of the following reasons, to wit:
Bad usage of English, the language, including improper phraseology,
imaginary words, poor spelling, run on sentences, and general repetitive
uses of certain words and phrases, such as "and/or" and "to wit:" in
improper or unnecessary uses, and suggests reading Strunk and White,
"Elements of Style", exceeding lengthy and verbotic dissertations
severely hampered by using loquacious words clumsily and without
dexterity of tongue, and what is commonly known as "Repetitive
Redundancy", or saying the same thing two or more times, and needless
explanation of easily discernible facts, and lastly, use of ridiculous
and needless condensations and abbreviation of excessively large and
cumbersome, but important sounding, names, and recommends for the last
two offenses to the native tongue of America, a good course in the
english language with someone who has never been in government.

It has thus been suggested by said people quoted above to said
people quoted slightly higher in this document than said people being
"quoted above", quoted above, that strict compliance and adherence to
said rules and amendments be henceforth abided by and even read, for the
continuing knowledge of the general sectored public and the trees, who
wish to give you their hardiest and most welcome thanks, from the
management.





$
 
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