|
|
 |
|
|
|
register |
bbs |
search |
rss |
faq |
about
|
|
|
meet up |
add to del.icio.us |
digg it
|
|
|
|
Men have organized to attempt to stop penis severi
NEW KNIFE LAW
In Albuquerque, New Mexico, little Marimba Marinade sobbed as she told
her story.
"Carlos found the knife hidden in the back of a closet shelf where Mama
had hidden it. He took it down and played with it and handed it to me. I
didn't know it was sharp....then it happened. Carlos screamed and held his
crotch. I fainted."
It was another accident involving a child who has been watching the T.V.
news and playfully acting out a Lorena Bobbitt fantasy. Stories like these are
crossing America. Both young boys and adult males have become victims of penis
amputation, some accidental, most intentional.
Men have organized and are recruiting others into the P.I.D. (Penises
in Danger) movement. At this moment, they are installing in Times Square a penis
time clock, showing the alarming frequency of penis severances.
In Marin County, in California, women can turn in their knives in for
free tickets to the ballet. The drive has been only mildly successful.
Some states are enforcing knife registration. There is a 5 day waiting
for a background check before before cutlery can be purchased. Stores are
notified to report women who carefully examine kitchen knives and grin as
they make chopping motions. Records of knife sharpener sales must also be
registered.
With the Presidents announcement that along with motorcycle and bicycle
helmet laws, for the protection of all males, a law is to be passed making the
wearing of crotch protectors mandentory. This news made the stock market jump
50 points. Money hungry investors are betting on a huge new market equal to
silicon valley.
Already, a line of crotch protectors in various sizes and designer
colors are appearing in stores, some fur lined. Merchants say the "extra
large" are most in demand, only a few order smaller sizes.
Replacement prosthesis research will abound, with pneumatic pumpers
being a good side investment.
Betty Ford type clinics will spring up, offering in house stay and
counseling for those females suffering from the "Penis Shear" syndrome.
However, psychologists are pointing out that many women don't want treatment.
For males, to get a nights sleep, electronics experts are experimenting
with a bed beeper that warns if any steel object even comes close to the
crotch area.
Employment will gain in the law enforcement bureaus. Officers will have
the right to ask any male to drop his pants to prove he is in compliance with
with crotch protector laws. Gay officers will be hired but advised not to
violate violaters.
Penis severing must stop. It's enforcement must be given priority over
drug abuse. Knife pushers must be chased from neighborhoods and arrested if
caught promoting sales to drive by women.
....end
|
|
|
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.
totse.com certificate signatures
|
|
|
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
|
|
|
|
|
|
