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Happy Fun Ball

X-NEWS: camins rec.humor: 1982
Xref: spang.Camosun.BC.CA rec.arts.startrek.fandom:79 rec.humor:1982
Path: spang.Camosun.BC.CA!news.UVic.CA!ubc-cs!uw-beaver!cornell!batcomputer!munnari.oz.au!spool.mu.eagate!ames!ncar!noao!stsci!wmorgan
From: [email protected] (Windsor A. Morgan)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.fandom,rec.humor
Subject: Happy Fun Ball (was Promos for: IMAGINARY FRIEND (#222))
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: 30 Apr 92 10:33:35 GMT
Article-I.D.: stsci.1992Apr30.103335.9161
References: <[email protected]> <[email protected]>
Sender: [email protected]
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Space Telescope Science Institute
Lines: 79

In article <[email protected]> hermit%[email protected] writes:
>In article <[email protected]> [email protected] writes:
>>Gosh could this be, no it can't, but is it.....

>>HAPPY FUN BALL??????

>Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. (Say, does anybody have a transcript of
>the Happy Fun Ball commercial?)

Here it is:

"It's happy!"

"It's fun!"

"It's Happy Fun Ball!"

"Yes, it's Happy Fun Ball! The toy sensation that's sweeping the
nation! Only $14.95 at participating stores! Get one today!"

"Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should
avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.

"Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

"Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture,
should not be touched, inhaled or looked at.

"Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete."

"Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

* Itching

* Vertigo

* Dizziness

* Tingling in extremities

* Loss of balance or coordination

* Slurred speech

* Temporary blindness

* Profuse sweating, or

* Heart palpitations

"If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head.

"Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

"When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special
container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.

"Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance
which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

"Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

"Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee."

"Happy Fun Ball! Accept no substitutes!"
--
'Verily, there be no leader as wise as the Vision!'
Windsor Morgan ([email protected] OR [email protected])
Space Telescope Science Institute
Baltimore, MD 21218
 
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