Good Ideas for Alternative Burials

by WakingTheDead

Tired of being buried? Sick of being burned? I'm here to help you explore other worldy possibilites that aren't so cliche. Join me now for Good Ideas for Alternative Burials:

1. Be stuffed: Why is that only limited to animals? Why are bears the only ones allowed to be stuffed and placed next to a fancy mantel? In this procedure, you can be stuffed and used for any variety of uses! I plan on being stuffed and used as a coat rack myself. Mabye I'll even have a little mechanism in my eyelid that closes it every now and then, just to creep people out!
2. Be blown up: Wouldn't it be cool to go out in a bang, and fertilize the local enviroment at the same time?!?
3. Be dropped from an airplane and land in helicopter blades that splatter you into a peice of glass that's to be framed: Self explanitory!
4. Hide your body: You can have your body hidden, kind of like an easter egg, only people should discourage their kids from seeking you out. That would be iky.
5. Become a trophy: Sure, some hunters enjoy putting the heads of their fallen foes on the wall, but this calls for bragging rights!
6. Be turned into cloth: If you enjoyed touching little children when you were alive, I'm sure this choice is for you!
7. Be eaten: Nothing says love like opening the oven to human roast! Just be sure not to burn it!
8. Home Secuiry: This follows along the lines of being stuffed, but imagine the possibilities of being placed infront of your window, staring at all intruders!
9. Halloween: Well, you're already ghastly looking, might as well have a loved one wheelbarrow you around the nieghbor hood to gather goodies and scare the living!
10. Presidential Candidate: You have no brain, and neither do they, so why not?!?
11. Giant Vat of Boiling Acid: Sounds like fun, what have you got to lose?
12. Donate your body to a Mad Scientist: They're always looking for fresh meat to resurrect to perform their evil bidding! Mabye, just maybe, you could turn out to be a ghost in the machine and rise above your master!

As you can see, there are soo many options available to you once you pass away, you just need to find them out. I hope I've made your final minutes peaceful, and that your final plans can be altered to include one of these better forms of burial. Have a nice day!

-WakingTheDead