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Murphy's cousin Finagle & his scientific theory
FINAGLE'S LAW
(Why nothing in Research and Development happens the way it should)
Ever since the first scientific experiment, men have been plagued by the un-
ceasing antagonism of Nature. Only his patience, adaptability and forbearance
have permitted the scientist to learn a few minor facts about the operation of
the universe.
We still do not really know why this should be so. It's only
natural that Nature should be logical and neat - but it isn't, and
the best teacher of all, Experience, turns out to be just the
gradual acceptance of Nature's pigheadedness.
Over the years a series of laws have evolved. The laws actually
represent a distillation of experience of thousands of
experimenters, but (until Dr. Finagle came along) they were never
recorded for the study and edification of younger members of our
profession because they had no derivation - no proof. They are true
because they have always been true. Look into your own experience
and see if this is not so.
We are grateful to John W. Campbell, editor of Astounding Science
Fiction, for bringing this work to our attention, and to the many
readers of that magazine who collected and contributed samples so
that others might share in their experience.
FINAGLE'S CREED: Science is Truth - don't be misled by facts.
FINAGLE'S MOTTO: Smile - tomorrow it will be worse.
ON EXPERIMENTS
(The first four laws are the only ones dignified by number. Note
the beauty and simplicity of the First Law. Also, note that the
three remaining laws refer to men's reactions to Nature - not to
Nature itself).
FIRST LAW: If anything can go wrong with an experiment, it will.
SECOND LAW: No matter what result is anticipated, there is always
someone willing to fake it.
THIRD LAW: No matter what the result, there is always someone
eager to misinterpret it.
FOURTH LAW: No matter what occurs, there is always someone who
believed it happened according to his pet theory.
THE LAW OF THE TOO-SOLID GOOF:
In any collection of data, the figure that is most-obviously
correct - beyond all need of checking - is the mistake.
COROLLARY I: No one whom you ask for help will see it either.
COROLLARY II: Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will
see it immediately.
HUMAN FOIBLES
The remaining rules outline the human problems that follow from the
above. To some extent, they represent man's reaction to Nature and,
even more aptly, man's reaction to man.
LAWS OF REVISION (Often lumped into the Now They Tell Us! Law)
FIRST LAW: Information necessitating a change in design will be
conveyed to the designer after - and only after - the
plans are complete.
COROLLARY I: In simple cases, where one obvious right way is
opposed to one obvious wrong way, it is often
wiser to choose the wrong way right off. This is
one step ahead of choosing the right way, which
turns out to be a wrong way, which has to become
a right way.
SECOND LAW: The more innocuous the revision appears to be at first,
the further its influence will extend and more plans
will have to be redrawn.
THIRD LAW: If, when the completion of a design is imminent, field
dimensions are finally supplied as they actually are -
instead of as they were meant to be - it is always
simpler to start all over.
FOURTH LAW: Even if it is impossible to assemble a part
incorrectly, still a way will be found to do it wrong.
COROLLARY I: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand
about interferences - if you have none, someone
will make one for you.
THE LAW OF THE LOST ICH:
In designing any type of construction, no over-all dimension
can be totalled correctly after 4 P.M. Friday.
COROLLARY I: Under the same conditions, if any minor
dimensions are given to 1/16 of an inch, they
cannot be totalled at all.
COROLLARY II: The correct total will be self-evident at 9:01
Monday morning.
A further series of rules - or really advice to experimenters - has
been formulated. they are a natural consequence of the first four
laws reduced to day-to-day practice.
1. Experiments must be reproducible - they should all fail in
the same way.
2. First draw your curves - then plot the readings.
3. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
4. A record of data is useful - it indicates you've been
working.
5. To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you
start.
6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
7. Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
8. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.
(This open door policy is also known as the Rule of the Way
Out.)
9. Deliveries that normally take one day will take five when you
are waiting.
10. When adjusting (or drawing or computing, etc.) remember that
the eye of the chief inspector (engineer, draftsman, etc.) is
more accurate than the finest instrument.
11. After adding two weeks to a schedule for unexpected delays,
add another two weeks for the unexpected unexpected delays.
12. In any problem, if you find yourself doing an unending amount
of work, the answer may be obtained by inspection.
THE FINAGLE FACTOR
A mathematical notation of Finagle's work has been developed. Here,
however, there seems to be some confusion, because two other names
enter the picture: "fudge" and "diddle" factors are also used to
considerable advantage y scientists and engineers.
Years ago - when the universe was relatively easy to understand -
the Finagle factor consisted of a simple additive constant
(sometimes known as a variable constant) in the form:
X' = Kf + X.
where any measured variable, X, could be made to agree with theory,
X', by simple addition of the Finagle factor, Kf.
Later difficulties couldn't be solved so easily and so a fudge
factor, Kb, was added.
X' = Kf + KbX.
Powerful as this adjustment was, World War II studies in servo
theory indicated a need for a still-stronger influence. The diddle
factor, Kd, was born and made to multiply the quadratic term.
X' = Kf + KbX + dX*X.
It is felt that, at least at present, reality can be made to conform
to mathematical theory with reasonable agreement on the basis of
these three factors.
However, John W. Campbell feels there is a different basic structure
behind the Finagle, fudge and diddle factors. The Finagle factor,
he claims, is characterized by changing the universe to fit an
equation. The fudge factor, on the other hand, changes the equation
to fit the universe. And finally, the diddle factor changes things
so that th universe and the equation appear to fit, without making
any real change in either.
For example, the planet Uranus was introduced to the universe when
Newtonian laws couldn't be to match known planetary motions. This
is a beautiful example of the application of the Finagle factor.
Einstein's work leading to relativity was strongly influenced by the
observed facts about the orbit of Mercury. Obviously a fudge factor
was introduced.
The photographer's use of a "soft-focus" lens when taking portraits
of women over 35 is an example of the diddle factor. By blurring
the results, photographs are made to appear to match the facts in a
far more satisfactory manner.
To our knowledge, this is the first clear enunciation of the
scientific method. All our vast sum of human knowledge has been
derived with these as the basic tools. By having them in writing
for the first time, perhaps our children can build even better
futures than the best we envision today.
REPRODUCED FROM THE IRE STUDENT QUARTERLY, SEPTEMBER 1958.
ENDFILE
Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253
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