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Doom Excuses - what to tell your boss when you're

DOOM EXCUSES


What to tell your boss when:



A) You are suspected of playing DOOM:

1) "Oh, that must have been my screensaver you saw!"

2) "Those files are my Database program. DOOM stands for Database Online
Operational Management. Yeah, your right, 'WAD' is a pretty strange
extension, isn't it?"

3) "Yeah, I've heard some strange noises around here too. Rodents in the
HVAC ducts, maybe?"


B) You are overheard playing DOOM:

1) "Growling? Oh, that was probably my stomach you heard; I worked straight
through lunch today."

2) "Chainsaw? No, I don't have a chainsaw in here. Mrs. Smith said
something about pruning the plants at the reception desk this morning,
though; you might ask her."

3) "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was talking that loud. It was my wife on
the phone, we're not getting along lately. Thorny Brown Bastard? Ha!
It's a long story, she hates it when I call her that."


C) You are caught red-handed playing DOOM:

1) "You know, this is a great screensaver but the damn thing keeps locking
up or something and I can't get it to go off."

2) "It's the latest in CAD!"

3) "It's an assertiveness training program."

4) "It's supposed to be 'Barney's Jungle Adventure' - I just picked it up
for the kid, you know; but it looks pretty warped to me."

5) "I don't know what the hell it is, it said Lotus on the disk. Maybe we got
some bad interference on the Net or something."

6) "I hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure it's the 'KillingGlee' VGA virus.
Don't know how I could have picked it up. Only way to get rid of it is to
play it out."


-G. Harris

 
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