Dear Sysop ... TE's Message To A Control Freak Sysop

"New users are allowed to use the system in order to determine which billing method they prefer. New users aren't allowed certain features of the system, such as accessing all of the message bases, posting messages, or up/downloading files...."

- System bulletin on a pay BBS system

... and the proper new user introduction sent in return:

Dear Sysop:

I just telnetted to your BBS. Although I can't tell if you have any files, messages, games, or chat rooms that I might be interested in, I feel that I must congratulate you on your outstanding bulletins. I have never before encountered so many facinating bulletins. I never realized just how many ways there could be to bill users (like me) for the pleasure of reading bulletins about how to bill users like me. Your bulletins, combined the fact that I can telnet in to read them, fills me with the urge to give you money. I just can't help myself. Here's a billion dollars.

- A Satiated User