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Instruction Manual for the Cray 7
Cray-7 User's Guide
July 30, 1996
Cray-7 UG
Congratulations on your purchase of
the fabulous new Cray-7 computer. With
proper care your new computer can give
you many years of useful work and
play. Just follow these simple guide
lines and all will be well.
1. The new tachyonics-based CPU can
be dangerous to unshielded organisms.
Always remember to keep clear of the
tachyon chamber when the power is on.
Tachyon radiation can be hazardous to
your age.
2. As with all sensitive equipment,
keep water and moisture out of the CPU
and peripheral equipment.
3. Whenever the CPU is in compute
mode, stay at least seven feet outside
the shield walls. When computing, the
CPU uses computrons at a rate
hithertofore unknown to Man. This
causes a "computron vacuum" in the
immediate vicinity. Thus the CPU may
suck up the informational content of
your DNA should you stray too close.
4. Due to the local up-grade of the
speed of light around the Cray-7's
Virtually Infinite Associative Memory
(VIAM), it is imperative that the
computer be kept in a dark room.
Strong light will crash the system,
and can do irreparable harm to the
hardware.
5. Never put on the High-speed
Analog Bionic Interface (HSABI) until
the system has completed its automatic
check-out sequence. When the
Omniscience option is present, this
can cause a positive Zen feedback,
resulting in total psyche burnout.
It should be avoided, except for
an advanced soul under guidance.
6. And above all, never, never feed
the Cray-7 after midnight.
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