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Why Beer is Better than Women
WHY A BEER IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
1. you can enjoy a beer all month
2. beer stains wash out
3. you don't have to wine and dine a beer
4. your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car
5. when beer goes flat you toss it out
6. beer is never late
7. HANGOVERS go away
8. a beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
9. beer labels come off without a fight
10. when you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
11. beer never has a headache
12. after you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime
13. a beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath
14. if you pour a beer right, you will always get good head
15. you can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty
16. a beer ALWAYS goes down easy
17. you can share a beer with your friends
18. you always know that you are the first one to pop a beer
19. a beer is always wet
20. beer doesn't demand equality
21. a beer doesn't care when you come
22. you can have a beer in public
23. a frigid beer is a good beer
24. you don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
25. beer always comes in multiples of six
26. beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left
27. you can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer
28. after you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle
29. a beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you
thirsty
30. when your beer is gone, you just pop another
31. you rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod
32. beer looks the same in the morning
33. beer doesn't look you up in a month
34. beer doesn't worry about someone walking in
35. beer doesn't worry about waking the kids
36. beer doesn't get cramps
37. beer doesn't have a mother
38. beer doesn't have morals
39. beer doesn't go crazy once a month
40. beer always listens and never argues
41. beer labels don't go out of style every year
42. beer doesn't whine, it bubbles
43. beer doesn't have cold hands/feet
44. beer doesn't demand legality
45. beer is never over weight
46. if you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony
47. beer won't run off with your credit cards
48. beer doesn't have a lawyer
49. beer doesn't need much closet space
50. beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things
51. beer doesn't complain about the way you drive
52. beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch
53. beer never changes it's mind
54. beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get
55. beer never asks you to change the station
56. beer doesn't make you go shopping
57. beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass
58. beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks
59. beer is always easy to pick up
60. big, fat beers are nice to have
61. beer doesn't pout or play games
62. beer NEVER says no
63. beer is easy to get into
64. beer never complains when you take it somewhere
65. beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers
66. beer doesn't wear a bra
67. beer doesn't mind getting dirty
68. beer doesn't complain about insensitivity
69. beer doesn't use up your toilet paper
70. beer doesn't live with its mother
71. beer doesn't blow you off
72. beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners
73. beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry
74. beer doesn't mind football season
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