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A funny txt file about some people on WIND SHEER a
Wind Sheer Airlines
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Our story takes place aboard Wind Sheer Airlines. The
aircraft was climbing to 20,000 feet, the stewardesses were
making the rounds, pouring cocktails and satisfying those huge
appetites with minuscule bags of nuts. And as it just so
happens, a priest and a rabbi had been seated next to each other
in row 15.
"Indeed Rabbi Lipshits, the distribution of the money we
collect in church is a very complicated process. But I'll let
you in on a little secret. What we do is we take all the money
from the collection plates. Then we draw a big circle on the
ground. We throw all the money in the air, and whatever lands in
the circle is for god. Whatever lands outside the circle is for
us," the priest remarked in a strong Irish accent.
"Oy, Vey!" the Rabbi exclaimed, "we do things differently at
the synagogue. We take all the money we collect, and we throw it
up in the air. What god wants he catches. Whatever he drops we
keep!"
Just then a stewardess approached the two holy men, "Good
morning gentlemen. Can I get you a pillow, or a blanket, or maybe
something nice to drink?"
The priest smiled and replied, "Oh no thank you mah darlin."
"And how about you?"
"I'll have a Jack Daniels on the rocks!"
"Oh, right away."
The priest looked sternly at his Rabbi friend and said, "In
my faith we aren't allowed to drink OR have sex."
"Wait, Stewardess, I didn't know I had a choice!" cried the
Rabbi.
<dum, dum, peesh...>
Just then the captain came on the announcements for the
folks who were flying first class, "And a pleasant good morning
to you ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Kamikaze speaking.
May I take the opportunity to thank you for choosing Wind Sheer
Airlines. Right now outside the aircraft, a rare and lovely view
of the endangered whooping cranes migrating toward the Grand
Canyon. I tell you what, I'll circle the craft around so both
sides of the plane can see. Our flight time today to New York
will be 4 hours and 45 minutes, but you'll hardly notice the time
as the Wind Sheer staff of flight attendants shower you with
attention, food, cocktails, and oral sex. Again, thank you for
choosing Wind Sheer, God Bless each and every one of you."
The Captain then switched on the intercom to the coach
section of the plane for their announcements, "Alright listen up
you worms, I've got my hands full flying this Death Trap, and I
don't even want any Gas Bags making it worse for me with your
petty little needs in this flying GAS CAN. Nothing to see
outside but just clouds and ground so sit down and shut up, we'll
get there when we get there." The Captain then set the
microphone back into it's receptacle. Thinking he had switched
it off, and this ladies and gentlemen is when he made his VERY
GRAVE ERROR! <Scary music> "Johnny why don't you fly for a while,
after all, you could use the practice after you stalled the 747
over Tokyo and then bailed out and left the poor Bastards to
crash and burn. I'm gonna go take a big ol' DUMP, I've been
squeezin' this puppy back since we took off. Then I'm gonna go
to the back and get that hot new stewardess to give me a nobber.
MMmmmmmm.... I'll be RIGHT BACK..."
"Ohmagosh, Ohmagosh, Ohmagosh, the captain doesn't realize
he's left the microphone on!" said the shocked stewardess, "I've
gotta warn him before he says something UNPLEASANT.." She dropped
her cocktail tray and made a B-Line for the cockpit. But on the
way down the aisle, she tripped on a passengers foot <crash> and
landed in a crumpled heap at the foot of the priest who looked
down at the stewardess and said, "Slow ma darlin', he said he's
gonna take a crap First!"
<dum, dum, peesh..>
Courtesy of Dave, Shelly, the Chainsaw and the joke of the day
players at rock 102.1 located in San Diego, California.X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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