About
Community
Bad Ideas
Drugs
Ego
Artistic Endeavors
But Can You Dance to It?
Cult of the Dead Cow
Literary Genius
Making Money
No Laughing Matter
On-Line 'Zines
Science Fiction
Self-Improvement
Erotica
Fringe
Society
Technology
register | bbs | search | rss | faq | about
meet up | add to del.icio.us | digg it

Administratium - A New Element

by Thomas G. Kyle

Los Alamos, New Mexico

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered at one of the national laboratories. The element, tentatively named administratium (Ad), has no electrons or protons, thus having atomic number zero. It does, however, have one neutron, 75 associate neutrons, 125 deputy associate neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy associate neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that invokes the continuous exchange of mesonlike particles called memoons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. Nevertheless, it can be detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it takes part. According to Dr. M. Languor, one of the discoverers of the element, a very small amount of administratium caused one reaction that normally occurs in less than a second to require over four days to go to completion.

Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at which time it does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes an internal reorganization in which associates to the neutron, deputy associates to the neutron, and the assistant deputy associates to the neutron all exchange places. A tendency has been observed for the atomic mass to actually increase during each reorganization.

 
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.

 

totse.com certificate signatures
 
 
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
Hot Topics
Will PS3 Survive?
Life Size Warthog
Wii Games
Rock the 80's
dawn of war?
Can I get a free Xbox360?
PSP Slim Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core Edition
Unbiased console thread...
 
Sponsored Links
 
Ads presented by the
AdBrite Ad Network

 

TSHIRT HELL T-SHIRTS