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The convoluded ravings of an unhinged individual o


=============================================================================

Originally entitled: "acacacacacacacac"

Here lies the text, (correctly dated) of a micro-period of history in which the
Author was subjected to intense acedemic scrutiny, voluptuous women, television
news, BBS's, and lots of Smokes. This text is approximately 90% complete,
due in part to the Author's unwise DOS maneovers immediately after completing
Feb 6's text. and deletion of certain conversations which meant something at
the time, but... Some of this has been left in despite my better judgement.
Most of the misspellings etc. are intentional or are no big deal, I hope.

Edited March, 6, 1991 instead of studying for a World Literature midterm exam.
===============================================================================

THE WEIRDNESS OF FEB, 6, 1991.

In responce of the oft quoted Confusianism "Man who loose his pet grain of
sand not sad. Man who loose head sad."


mr. punchcard bard's litte treasury of poems

" go_hoo_t me ridled._holler " (1991. Composed while alive)

the sound of drowning into the background
a whosh like an gaping brutal ocean lapping
them [sic] out of the peephole with calculatably
substantial dimensions, (diameter that is)
seem as somewhat of a cimcumstantially removed
bit of well, you know. Of course, in these matters
one would know. Simply, and beyond what I was
trying to express in that earlier stanza, is a noun.
Thank you class and I want you all to be sure you
know what a noun is and when you should and shouldn't
use the lower case. like to start a word that came
at the beginning of a sentence now wouldyou, or perhaps
running two words to gether or spitting 2 apart or using a numerical 2 instead of the word two. Wellemme tell you partner, I am not even prepared to stay within the boundries of 80 col. printing!!!!!o use
excess exclaimation which were seen earlier have been removed
as is the Author.

Question #28:
Does this two-dimensional typeface look three-dimentional to you?

Question #29:
Do you look three-dimensional to a two-dimensional typeface ?

Question #30: IF YOU SKIP QUESTIONS 28 & 29 HOW MISERABLE AM I CAPABLE OF
MAKING YOU FEEL WHEN I MARK A BIIIIG FAAAAT
\\ //
\\ //
\X/
/X\
// \\
// \\
NEXT TO THEM WITH MY REEEEEEEEEEEEEED PEN . A HAHAHAHHAHAA
(See cartoon attacted)

Bonus Question for alternate credit in analysis: " ? "


Buum bumm bumm bummm this is abc news reporting live on the scene,
Ted, how is the scene. Well, Ted it looks like it over here. Thank you, Ted,
and now to our correspondent in Ishabod. Iccy, what do you think about
what we've just witnessed? Well, Ted I'm sorry, I did not have the opportunity
of viewing that last piece of videotape, you see I was viewing a piece of pussy
here in the ABC news consolate correspondence station and drinking precisely
two gins and one tonic. Thank you Iccy, but we're out of time, we'll return
after this:

Howdy, my name is Bob.
Have you recently been to visit your chiropracter with back pain only to
return home with front pain. Well if you visit my establishment which
has been in business for over twenty-five years. OK, twenty-four and a
half of them involved me trying to come up with the idea to start the
business...
(see graphics attached)
We LL sT ra I ghten O U T T H E M A tter

=Signed Boris B. Bancroft.
2222322323 Browing Breet
Brondon, Bngland

END TRANSMISSION

*what do you think it means. Obviously some convuluded ravings of an
unhinged individual,,,

*or perhaps its a dettached group of biogical cells.

*cells!?

*yes, but perhaps possessing a kind of rudimentary intellegence,
or conveying a message of some circumstance.

*yes, the circumstance of: OH SHIT, L8r!

NO CARRIER

ATDT 12345678901234567890
RINGING

VOICE

HELLO? ( {i {i_ {i_ ]r ) <- static in background
YES
WHO IS THIS
HARROLD GREENWATER OF THE Starship Pumice Pinto
SOUNDS NICE
Oh yes, its a luxury sedan, you know?

[ I didn't like what the worried tone in his voice I heard at that time
indicated. I mean after all... ONE WOULD KNOW IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES! ]

that when every thing happened. On that cold day sometime on the planet
froondoz. Spelled that way, just because we like it. (*)

(*) Indicates that the BBC's eqiuptment has ascertained that the
preceeding program was either transmitted at a frequency or
rate that no television on the planet earth could not even
perceive, much less display, or indeed it is non-existant.

YOU KNOW?????

?tEW??;??????;??????????????j that phrase ???????????????those symbols
the abstract beauty in their assymetry sparkles just at the right
shade of temperature this evening as we now conclude our day of
broadcasting, and gear up
for
our
night of broadcasting, keeping you constantly up-to-date and informed.

OUR CREDITS ROLL

We begin tonight with a selection of nostaglic programming. We will be
bringing you a repeat of our programming from this date in the year
1960 B.C.
What you will be seeing is static, not unlike the static you would
have undoubtedly picked up on your TeleVision screen, had you tuned in on
that bygone pre-broadcasting era.




==============================================================================




THE WEIRD TALE OF FEB 7, 1991.

Vietnam II: Die Harder
How many lives do you get a gallon?
The untold stories of EOF, EOLN, And EIEIO.

Old MacDonald had a farm EIEIO
And on that farm he had some frogs EIEIO
Until I came and killed them Every Last One

What a horrible poem gasped the realator. Do you have any idea how drab that
looks next to my fushia and royal green bathrobe?

Nobility you say?

Um? Nepotism? Well, just between you and I, (that means don't spill the beans
to my boss) yes, One + One =

*************************************************************************













( This space )





Wuestion Wirtyone: Do you see bugs?

Kwestion KthiryKtwo: Twinkle Twinke Little Ketchup Bottle is the ASCII
representation of which famous Star Trek character?

( * Note: This will appear on the AP exam! )

Attention Elvis Fans: The King is back!

(UPI / NASHVILLE, TN) Thats right, Elvis Presley, also known as the 'King
of Rock N' Roll' is back tonight, resting peacefully in eternal
slumber again at his world famous gravesite at Graceland in Nashville.
Elvis's dead and decomposing corpse was abducted from his personal
gravesite near his former home at the Graceland mansion. The persons
responsible for exhuming Mr. Presley's body say they admit the whole
thing was a bad idea and promise not to do it again. Presently, the
wife of the deceased, Pricilla has been discussing possible plans
to cryogenically freeze her late husband to preserve him in the least
damaged condition possible for the sake of Mr. Presley's future
post-mortum photo oppurtunities.


( PHOTO WITHELD PENDING RELEASE ARRANGEMENTS WITH CNN )

Choice (1-9) : 0

iiiiP_+

Welcome master what is thy bidding?

30 30 30 35 35 35 do i hear 40 40 40 I hear 40 40 40 40 40

CLICK

NO CARRIER

atdl

CONNECT 2400

Choice (1-9) : 0

iiiiP_+

Welcome master what is thy bidding?

hello, who is this?

guess

Who?

You mean you don't know, Bob ?

Oh, is that you Orion?

Heheh

Cool, do you want me to kill you now or later

Kill me later. Now I just have one thing to sat

YOUR SAT SCORE IS: ...... BING accepted as 1000 . You just qualify as
an allum of the old Nonky Quonky School of Uujrinking.

Thank you very much,

SIGN HERE: ^C

ERROR NOT ACCEPTED. NO THAnks dude... ok l8r!

NO CARRIER

atdt 011-341-10203

RINGING

CONNECT 1200

Hello who is calling may I ask?

guess

do you know that it is 03:20 !?

Thanks I didn't and thats why I called. Good night.+++
ath

NO CARRIER

This is mr. frizzle frazzle speaking. I'd like to have a little talk with
you concerning a recent event in which you were seen to have frizzed my
frazzle. Excuse me, but I don't even know what you are talking about. You
must have the wrong guy. Slam bang some children playing in the evening.
Crashing down my staircase and echoing into the permanent written record.
All is still again and I can faintly hear signs of life in many directions.
If it be friendly, so be it. I had two meals under my belt that day and I was
simply NOT prepared to let a little distant moaning and whaling and chanting
bother me now was I? Chanting, gads who is behind this mess? " I queried, and
so realized that behind the whole mess was no nasty mastermind plotting it all
out carefully, but I indeed noticed it for what it was, a seething growing
mess... growing every hour.

Red light, are you still or traveling? Motion full or motion less ? my notion's
best has not uncovered your dest
in E I E I O.

1. *( *( *( *( *( *( *( )* )* )* )* )* )* )* )*

READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. |

Smoosh principle. Line 1 has been smooshed into line 2. (NOTE: AVOID
EXCLAMATORY REMARK(S).)

19 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 9 thats called a gannubg

learn to spell gannubg class for it is important.

Ever wonder how Korean twi-kon-do experts get enuff pussy?
They eat out their pupils.

Excuse me Mr. Fishgold, but what time of day is it when the main thoughfare
of a large capital city is turned to ruins and a large number of Elvis fans
are worried that the King isn't getting enough beauty sleep beacuse he's
being moved around after his death?

...

Damn, I forgot fish don't type!!!!!@!

The look in his eyes says something like this: Hey you, human. Don't you
know anything? Fish don't fucking type you stupid ape. Come closer. Look
into my eye and I'll fill you in on a few things.

1. This number represents _
2. " " " _ _
3. " " _ _ _
4 * 10!^1000!^1000!^10000!^1000! ( not shown here )

what a pity. only 70! particles in the known universe.
Those who u manz they dont even dream of the reality that beyond their
primitive sensors lurks well in excess of 10203972039721037091723097120937!
factorial with a margin of error of plus or minus 1 particle, which will be
involved in the measurement and may or may not be destroyed but will not be
reliably assertained as such before another measurement is taken, at which
time another particle, used to take that measurement is lost. But then you
might ask, what if we took two measurements, would we wind up with two
particles missing, or would one instrument fail to detect the other. If the
latter be the correct case, one would have to question the certaintude of the
original measurement. The margin of error would have to be substantially
increased to account for sychronous measurements occuring in other parts of
the measured universe at the instant of measurement.

This is what a fish thinks about all day except when you aren't looking and
he's sinking his fishy pecker into a fishy pussy.

( PHOTO WITHELD PENDING RELEASE ARRANGENENTS WITH CNN )

==============================================================================

THE WEIRDNESS OF FEB, 8, 1991

The worm's firm sperm squirmed into the
smelly jelly belly of it all at once the knight
lept forward in a sort of display that rushed
quickly prancing through the night sky. A dusk wind
blowing this crowd of spectators at the raceway this
afternoon, Doug. Doug dug. Doug dug a trench around
surrounding a hill and/or valley ranch dress seasoning.
I like summer best when you can see legs, ass, and
if you're lucky fully exposed tits and pussy in the
sun. Thank you and goodnight. Yes, No, Maybe, the three
questions and/or dilemma-inspired answers today.

Gulllp. Thats what she meant when she said gulllp, earlier. That was
the morning sun that was somehow, at just exactly the wrong angle and
you, walking firmly, wrongly at the wrong angle of the street when you
stopped. Unfortuneatly this could in fact mean a quiz. Thank
you, murmered the murmerer. Eheheh that old one still works. Old reliable
is what they ought to call you, bud. Yessir, and that's just the way old
Honest Abe told it to me son, right after I slipped it into his drink. WHooIE!
You could see it in his eyes they way they danced and sparkled in little
circles. Here have one of these, they will condense the experience into once
per year.

Slanting slanting his ride was quite wide, considering the circumstances
to which old Abe was accustomed. His ancilary accoutriments aged afterward,
almost atumnally asking all about Abe's aunts; and Agatha, answered
appropriately. Sonny boy, I just got one little thing to say to you. And
that slanking down the avenue with my pal Mr. Confidence, I feel just like
the way you used to do. Oh, I, just can't deny it. Even though you despise
it. I have to-- that I look just like you. So, regrettably, and at long last,
Pete McGovern, star quarterback for the Jets answered the myriad distateful
questions before he could retire to the after game party and eat pussy. He
replied, dude, I don't know, but I think I'm all about it. Thank you and
have a nice night.

It was yellow. It shared its nickname with the only word in the English
language spelled with three consecutive consonants. It slinked along the
grey steel corridor and spoke only willingly and at great length with those
whom it had previously met a swinging singles party in which it ate lots of
pussy, came several times, and remarked that the hostess had big boobs. If
it was indeed the same thing as we're led to believe, folks, this could
turn out rather interestingly. But instead, lets turn now to the graphic
details of the aforementioned party as we move into our nightly programming
segment 11:00 PM Eastern, 10:-) PM central.

Your time limit has exceeded, Goodbye.

SBBS v21.9.2a [c] 1991 dtr communications sez have a nice day!

NO CARRIER

[Ed. note: On Feb 9, the Author ran out of Smokes.]
 
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