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Tae Kim, Paramedic from Hell, at 3AM on the highwa
From : Phil Arnold 16 May 95
Subj : 3am on the highway
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I recently went to a call for a motor vehicle accident on a major
highway in my service area. While enroute to the call - we received
an update that it was a 'car vs. deer - no injuries.' Apparently, a
deer had stumbled across this major highway, and since all MASS
drivers travel ten to twenty miles over the speed limit, this guy's
car struck the deer going oh - say seventy to eighty miles per hour.
Upon our arrival, we found a Ford Probe with it's front end
demolished, windshield flattened, with expired deer laying across
both front seats, and one visibly shaken driver, sitting on the
sidewalk, smoking a butt. When the car struck the deer (from the
side), the front of the car went under the deer's body, breaking it's
legs, and bringing the deer up and over the hood of the car. It then
smashed through the windshield, and landed on the lap of the driver.
As it was still alive, it started to trash wildly, while the driver -
amazingly - was able to guide the car over several lanes onto the
breakdown lane. The driver was fine, if not a little shaken. He was
also covered in deer blood and ground glass. We asked the guy if he
wanted to go to the hospital, to which he replied: "I just want to
get a Valium from the car," and opened the glove-box of the car and
retrieved and prescription pill bottle from it. I noticed that it had
the name of a woman on it, and asked "Uh, excuse me, but is that you
Valium?" Normally I wouldn't ask such a question - but since the cops
and fire-fighters were busy looking at the deer carcass, we had some
modicum of privacy. "Well, this is my grandmother's prescription. But
sometimes - you know." He smiled sheepishly. Ah , if he only knew...
The days when my gramps was alive - every month I'd accompany him to
the pharmacy, where he'd pick up his _fifteen_ prescriptions, go
home, and watch him toss all fifteen bottles into a shopping bag -
overflowing with other bottles o' drugs. He never took them, but
since Medicare paid for it all, he made damn sure he got them every
month. Which was good for me since he had prescriptions for Valium,
Percocet, and (my favorite) Tranxene, the 'benzodiazepine for a man
on the move.' Just as my eyes began to glaze over in reverie to the
good 'ol days, my attention was called by the fact that the cops were
taking pictures of the vehicle. As I moved closer, I noticed that
they had moved the deer carcass to a seated position on the passenger
side, and they had propped one of it's shattered legs out the window,
an old baseball cap had been placed in a rakish angle on it's head,
as well as a lit cigarette between it's lips. The cops were taking
turns sitting (gingerly) in the driver's seat, with an arm around the
deer, while another would take a picture of him. Not to miss my
chance, I hurried over to get my picture taken - then I got another
call - damn. As I rolled on the next call - I swore I would make
whoever called me away from my picture- taking pay dearly for the
interruption. And I did. But that's another story.
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