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A Touch of Fiber
A Touch of Fiber
John Doe wasn't dead. I don't know how it happened.. I guess somebody
goofed. There I was, all set to crack his chest and see what did him in, and
he opened his eyes.
Naturaly, I wasn't expecting this. I have a nice, quiet job as a coroner,
and up untill that day, I never had any problems like this.
"Hello. My name is Henry, and I'm dead." He didn't talk like you'd expect
a corpse to talk, if you would at all. His voice was like one of those radio
DJs who come on at six'o clock in the morning on the way home from work.
"You must be Donald. Everybody else is..."
My name WAS Donald, but once I realized that my name was on my lab coat,
I knew that he must have just read it. Henry started to get off of the table,
but once he discovered that his left arm was more or less gone, he opted to
sit.
"I suppose you'll want to know why I'm not dead."
I nodded.
"Well, it's all really verry simple. See, I can't be killed. I'm what
you guys call immortal. You DO know what that means, don't you, Don?"
I nodded again.
"Good, that'll save us both a lot of time. Now I have a proposition for
you; I have to get to Ontario before midnight, or I'll be cast out of my
immortal position, and they'll kill me. You wouldn't want that, would you
Donald?"
"But, if you're immortal, how can they kill you?"
"You're not looking at this right. See, I'm not IMMORTAL, I'm immortal."
Oh. This was starting to look confusing. Most stiffs just sit there and
let you examine them, but not mine.. No, I HAD to get some Canadian immortal
named Henry.
"Why don't you have an arm?"
Henrt looked down at his side, which looked like it had been gnawed at by
wolves. "Beats me. I always thought I was impervious to this kind of thing."
"Looks like you're not."
"Yeah...Look, are you going to take me to Ontario or not? I'll give you
fifty bucks and the money for gas if you do, and if you don't, I will probly
kill you."
"Why do you want to go to Ontario?"
"I have to get there by midnight, or I'll die."
I looked at my watch. 11:47 PM.
"I don't think you'll make it," I said, pointing to the clock above him.
He looked up, saw the clock, and was more than a little distraught. We
discussed the pros and cons of being immortal for thirteen minutes, and then
he died.
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