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The Terminator: Rewritten \ Dry Run by David Min
"The Terminator: Rewritten \ Dry Run"
Written by David Minter.
Finished.
Yes, but when? 6-15-95!
Based on the movies "The Terminator" @1983 by Carolco
Pictures, and "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" @1991 by
Carolco Pictures, the concept of the Book and Record Set
@1984 by Buena Vista Records, and material from the
collected storylines of "Gremlins: Rewritten," "Critters:
Rewritten," "Gremlins 2: Rewritten," "Night of the Living
Dead: Rewritten," "Bionic Commando: Rewritten," "Star
Wars: Rewritten," and "Return of the Living Dead:
Rewritten" all written by David Minter @1991, 1992, 1993,
1994, and 1995 by David Minter.
This is the story of "The Terminator: Rewritten \ Dry
Run." You can read along with me in your book. You will
know it is time to turn the page when you hear ARNOLD
shout, "I'LL BE BACK!" Let's begin... now! Remember to
turn the page every time you hear the sound. BRAINS!
Okay, people! This is my masterpiece, the series
I've been working towards since I got the idea for it!
SO LET'S GET BUSY!
Overture! Curtain! Lights!
This is it! The night of nights!
No more rehearsing, and nursing of part!
We know every part by heart!
Overture! Curtain! Lights!
This is it! We'll hit the heights!
Who knows what heights we'll hit?
On with the show! This is it!
Tonight what heights we'll hit!
On with the show! This is it!
Kate Peltzer sat with her bloated self in the plush
command chair in her top floor office. Her palms were
atop her stomach, just beginning to bulge out with her
fledgling pregnancy. She was all alone in the world now.
Her child would grow up without its father. How she
missed Billy! It hadn't been that long ago when they had
been thrust into a parallel Earth dimension and forced to
fight their way back from the evil Galactic Empire.
Remember that from way back in "Star Wars: Rewritten?"
Anyway, she had fallen into the quagmire of depression
again, and the only one who could slightly cheer her up
was Jerry, the Rocket Waiter! I'LL BE BACK!
Hmmm. Do you think that's a sign? The door to her
office burst open. With a blast of flame and a whiff of
rocket fuel, Jerry came dashing into the room. Juggling a
squid, a calf's tongue, a cherry fondue, and Toxie, he
tossed them into the air, did a hand stand on one hand,
and resumed juggling with his free one. He burst out into
a French rendition of "My Country 'tis of Thee," when Rand
Peltzer's voice came over the office intercom, asking to
see her. I'LL BE BACK!
Kate allowed Rand from Research and Development into
the office. He tried to deliver the weekly report on the
project that she had the department engaged in, but
Jerry's annoying warbling made any form of communication
between the two impossible. Realizing the source of her
consternation, Kate withdrew the 38 special that Billy had
kept in the desk drawer back when he was president of
Chump Towers and fired at Jerry. Her aim was terrible,
but she did manage to hit Toxie. His momentum was thrown
off, resulting in Jerry dropping him. Toxie fell threw
the floor, dragging Jerry and the other assorted objects
down with him. Jerry continued to sing down three stories
before he stopped. He then proceeded to fall two more
stories. Moments later, Toxie, only slightly worse for
wear, re-entered the office, cleaned up his spilt toxic
blood, and repaired the hole in the floor as per his
janitorial influence, and left Kate and Rand to talk.
I'LL BE BACK!
"Well?" she asked, slightly belching under her breath
from the cookies and pickles that she had eaten to try and
satisfy her strange, pregnancy induced cravings. "We
still haven't made any progress." "WHAT!?" Kate was so
irate that she would have stood had she not been with
child, the fat waddling pig! "You've got two of the
greatest minds since Dr. Wily, Dr. Wright and Professor
Baxter Stockman, and you've done squat since the last
report! I'VE GOT TO HEAR MY HUSBAND'S LAST WORDS!"
"That's just it, ma'am." KATE WAS STUNNED! "What? I've
got hear my husband's last words?" "No, Dr. Wright and
Professor Stockman have gone missing." "That's odd."
Kate went into deep thought, which for her was quite
shallow. "Oh, well. They'll turn up eventually. And if
they don't, I'll hire others! I'm rich enough; I CAN DO
ANYTHING! WATCH!" To prove her point, she pulled a
remote control from her desk drawer, turned to the large
window behind her, pointed towards the federal building
out on the horizon, and pressed a button. A small
mushroom cloud erupted, followed by a small quake. I'LL
BE BACK!
Kate angrily, madly, and slowly turned back around to
face her father-in-law. "Now, then. I kindly suggest you
get back to work, sir." Rand slowly backed out of the
office, but stopped just at the door. "Um, may I inquire
something of you first?" "Yes, yes, yes! What is it?!"
"Is that Oreoes and pickles on your breath?" "Yes."
"That's what I thought." There was a long, annoying
pause. "Um." "YES?!" "Why?" "I'm pregnant, you fool!"
"Again?" "Yes, damn it!" "But, cookies and pickles?"
"Have you ever been hungry enough to punch someone in the
face?" "Um... not that I can recall." "Well, I have, and
in fact, I am right now!" she said, raising a clenched
fist. "Eating cookies and pickles is how I keep from
being such." "Okay! Well, I'll just leave before our
rambling conversation detracts any further from the plot."
Rand opened the office door, and stepped out. He looked
back in and added, "You'd better get down to Obsidian's."
"Oh, really? Why?" "A little bird, the script, told me."
I'LL BE BACK!
A switch was thrown. Power coursed through its
circuits. It's prime directives were brought up. After
the initial tests were run, the machine was finally booted
up. It was set loose in the labrynth. It prepared its
armaments, and stalked the maze, seeking the target.
Several false targets popped up along the way. Finally,
the real deal appeared, flanked by two innocent civilian
targets, copyrighted by the United States government.
Prime directives were prime directives and it tore through
the two nobody's to get at her. A blast of automatic
weapons fire roared through the air and into the target,
decimating the victim. "Primary target located. Kate
Peltzer... eliminated!" The robot immediately came to a
stop in the prepared test site. Lights came up, flooding
the maze set up to look like Chump Towers' main lobby.
"Excellent!" boomed an ominous, rather high pitched,
squeaky voice. "Now... let's get the real thing!" And,
just to punctuate the tension and the irony, the robot
responded, "I'LL BE BACK!" which is also your signal to
turn the page.
"MOMMY!" Jason shouted as his mother entered the
Chump Towers' Day Care Center. Kate held out her arms and
embraced the approaching Munchkin. "Hey, kid! And how's
my little man today? When the writer went back to edit
this episode, he thought four pages wasn't enough. So, he
decided to add this touching scene, and I thought I'd drop
by and check in on you!" She hugged Jason is a lung
crushing bear hug, akin to the one her husband had used on
Groucho, the Mogwai, WAY back in "Gremlins: Rewritten II \
Groucho and the Gremlins." The "touching scene" was
interrupted by the attending baby sitter approaching Kate.
"Mrs. Peltzer, a man from the UPS is here. He says he has
a pre-signed package for a Mister Terry McVeigh to be
delivered here to the Day Care Center." "Ah, yes. He
called earlier. Put it over there in the left corner...
where he specifically asked it to be placed, oddly
enough." The sitter left, and the man from the UPS came
in. Kate turned back to her son. She hugged him even
harder, secure in the knowledge that nothing could hurt
her child within the safety of the place and of such
loving people. I'LL BE BACK!
Kate sat alone at her usual spot at Obsidian's
restaurant. There was a time when she wasn't alone. She
had comfort of her husband, Billy. But now, he was gone,
sacrificing his life so that an entire universe, albeit an
alternate one, might live in peace. Jerry the Rocket
Waiter brought her now usual plate of liver and kumquats,
induced by her approaching pregnancy, and sped through the
divider surrounding her table. The sad thing for Jerry
was that Obsidian's was on a balcony overlooking the lobby
of Chump Towers. He once again plummeted through space,
that space ending with the thud of his face upon the
linoleum. Kate stared through the hole in the divider,
down at Jerry's trembling, semi-conscious form. That was
when she noticed the strange man staring up at her. He
was dressed in black leather pants, black leather shoes, a
black leather jacket, and dark sunglasses. She stared at
the stranger for a moment and was needless to say stunned
when he pulled a sawed off shotgun from underneath his
black leather jacket and aimed it at her! I'LL BE BACK!
Kate barely rolled out of the way ( She's pregnant,
remember! ) as the strange man fired. The shot went long
and above where she was sitting. Kate looked up to see an
innocent bystander ( A strangely familiar bystander, but
an innocent bystander, nonetheless. ) running away from
the hole in the plaster of the wall that the shotgun blast
hit. She peered around the hole in the divider to view
her assailant again. He was staring back up at her. He
brought his shotgun into a new position right at her! As
she grew wide-eyed with terror, the balcony overlooking
the main lobby shook. It began to pull away from the
wall, throwing Kate through the hole in the divider! She
tumbled through space and landed on the lobby floor below.
Luckily she fell upon a nice soft cushion: her ass. She
shook the fall clear from her head and looked up into
those ominous black sunglasses! I'LL BE BACK!
Kate covered her head, preparing for the end, which
would not only end her life, but that of her unborn child
and that of her intense, lonely suffering as well. All in
all, it was a fate she was glad to accept. Sadly, that
fate was not to be hers this day! A form fell from the
remnants of the balcony behind Kate. He too was armed to
the teeth, proving such by slipping a .357 Magnum from the
pack on his back. Hmmm. A backpack...? He emptied the
entire barrel into the strange attacker! The now agressee
flew through space, his body forced back by the impact of
the bullets. He limply slid across the tile, his limbs
twitching slightly as he trailed blood behind him; the
Toxic Avenger was already on it. By now, Chump Security
had sent officers down into the lobby to try and deal with
the sudden altercation that had erupted. Kate's savior
held out his hand to her, who still had her hands about
her face. She slowly reached out and took his hand. "Th-
tanks, er, thanks! I don't know who you are, but-" But
she did know him! She looked up into the familiar face,
and was instantaneously stunned, stupefied if you will.
For there, bedecked in his backpack with its infinite
length of extension cord was... BILLY PELTZER?!?
WHAT?! Can it really be true? Billy is alive! If
so, how? And how did he get back to his own time and
place? Well, his wife's time and place, anyway. Who is
the mysterious man in black that had fired at her? Why?
Can I really be so cruel as to leave these questions
unanswered at the end of "The Terminator: Rewritten \ Dry
Run?" You're damn right I can be! And some of these
questions may be answered next time in "The Terminator:
Rewritten II \ The Raising of Lazarus!"
"The Terminator: Rewritten \ Dry Runs," er "Run" @1995
by David Minter. Based on the movies "The Terminator"
@1984 by Carolco Pictures and "Terminator 2: Judgment Day"
@1992 by Carolco Pictures, the concept of the Book and
Record Set @1984 by Buena Vista Records, and material from
the collected storylines of "Gremlins: Rewritten,"
"Critters: Rewritten," "Gremlins 2: Rewritten," "Night of
the Living Dead: Rewritten," "Bionic Commando: Rewritten,"
"Star Wars: Rewritten," and "Return of the Living Dead:
Rewritten" all written by David Minter @1991, 1992, 1993,
1994, and 1995.
"The Terminator" @1984, 1992 by Carolco Pictures.
"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" @1992 by Carolco Pictures.
Buena Vista Records is a subsidiary of Walt Disney.
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