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Quotes from famous people
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land
in Los Angeles.
FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
BUCKMINSTER FULLER
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
DWIGHT D EISENHOWER
College isnt the place to go for ideas.
HELLEN KELLER
Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearence of magic.
ARTHUR C CLARKE
Justice is incedental to law and order.
J EDGAR HOOVER
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
ABBIE HOFFMAN
Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still dont know what I want to be
when I grow up.
PETER DRUCKER
We are what we pretend to be.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR
I could prove God statistically.
GEORGE GALLUP
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
with our frail and feeble mind.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Real wealth can only increase.
R BUCKMINSTER FULLER
In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true
or becomes true.
JOHN LILLY
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence
without civilization in between.
OSCAR WILDE
The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
ALAN COULT
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
STANLEY GARN
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
DWIGHT D EISENHOWER
If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution
inevitiable.
JOHN F KENNEDY
"Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it might be; and if
it were so, it would be; but as it isnt, it aint. Thats logic."
LEWIS CARROLL
It takes a long time to understand nothing.
EDWARD DAHLBERG
Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
BULLWINKLE MOOSE
If A equals success, then the formula is:
A= X + Y + Z
X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are
you wont either.
JOSEPH FISCHER
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he
encounters needs pounding.
ABRAHAM KAPLAN
The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
ROGER LEVIAN
OBERT D SPRECHT (RAND CORP)
Thoreau's Law:
If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of
doing you good, you should run for your life.
Vique's Law:
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Zimmerman's Law of Complaints:
Nobody notices when things go right.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
CONFUCIUS
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
BOOK OF PROVERBS
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good
impromptu speech.
MARK TWAIN
The unnatural, that too is natural.
GOETHE
I used to be indecisive; now Im not sure.
GRAFFITI
I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didnt like it.
SAMUEL GOLDWYN
He hasn't one redeeming vice.
OSCAR WILDE
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
GRAFFITI
(To Walter Cronkite):
"Well Walter, I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number
of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running
up and down a street"
- Neil Armstrong -
"You doubted Me," God tells the Lawgiver [Moses], "But I forgave
you that doubt. You doubted your own self and failed to believe
in your own powers as a leader, and I forgave you that also. But
you lost faith in these people and doubted the divine possibilities
of Human Nature. THIS loss of faith makes it impossible for
you to enter the Promised Land."
- The Midrash -
" 'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability"
- George Bernard Shaw -
"Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
without any proof"
Ashley Montague -
"Birth, Copulation, and Death. That's all the facts when you
come to brass tacks"
T. S. Elliot -
"Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood."
D. B. Hudson -
"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more '
user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take
all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover."
Bill Gates,Pres.,Microsoft,Inc. -
Eight Things your computer won't do:
1) It won't save you money
2) It won't make your organization run right
3) It won't solve every problem
4) It won't run itself
5) It won't always be right
6) It won't meet all its own needs
7) It won't protect itself
8) It won't become obsolete
J. Makower -
Bradley's Bromide:
If computers get too powerful,we can organize them into a committee...
that will do them in.
Civilization Law #1:
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations
one can do without thinking about them.
Ketterling's Law:
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
"Whenever 'A' attempts by law to impose his moral standards
upon 'B', 'A' is most likely a scoundrel"
H. L. Mencken -
"The government of the United States is not in any sense founded
on the Christian Religion"
George Washington -
"In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty."
- Thomas Jefferson -
"During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
been upon trial.
What has been its fruits?
More or less, in all places,
pride and indolence in the clergy;
ignorance and servility in the laity,;
in both, superstition, bigotry,
and persecution."
- James Madison -
"Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations"
- Thomas Jefferson -
"We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately"
- Benjamin Franklin -
"Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried"
- Thomas Jefferson -
"Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained
control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles"
- Pat Paulsen -
"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself"
- Camus -
"Six years for possession of a cigarette?...I got six months
for possession of a deadly weapon!"
- cartoon by S. Harris -
The Swartzberg Test:
The validity of a science is its ability to predict.
"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing
the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries
civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward
striving of the human race"
- Alfred North Whitehead -
"My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of
human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly
vulnerable.... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the
frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we
do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether
or not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to
space, because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought
us, in our generation, to a point from which we can explore and
understand and utilize it. To turn back now would be to deny
our history, our capabilities."
- James A. Michener -
"What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go
to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to
build railroads across a continent? In independent thought
about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it
takes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil's view,
the simultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American
life. First, a base of technology must exist from which to do
the thing to be done. Second, a period of national uneasiness
about America's place in the scheme of human activities must
exist. Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses
the national attention upon the direction to proceed. Finally,
an articulate and wise leader must sense these first three
conditions and put forth with words and action the great thing
to be accomplished. The motivation of young Americans to do what
needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of conditions....
The Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John Kennedys
appear. We must begin to create the tools of leadership which
they, and thier young frontiersmen, will require to lead us
onward and upward."
- Dr. Harrison H. Schmidt,Sen.,New Mexico -
"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!"
- Bill Kirchenbaum, comedian -
"To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but
not its programmer"
- Morris Kingston -
"I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but
I've seen more of them who were paralyzed in the head"
- George Wallace -
"You don't have to explain something you never said"
- Calvin Coolidge -
"A little caution outflanks a large cavalry"
- Bismarck -
"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money"
- Everett Dirksen -
"The personal computer market is about the same size as the
total potato chip market. Next year it will be about half the
size of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total
worldwide sales of pantyhose"
- James Finke,Pres.,Commodore Int'l Ltd.(1982) -
"I like a man who grins when he fights."
- Winston Churchill -
"There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true."
- Winston Churchill -
"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he
will pick himself up and carry on..."
- Winston Churchill -
"God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday,
and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday,
Thursday, and Saturday."
- William Bragg -
"Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die"
- John W. Campbell -
"That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest"
- Thoreau -
Life is not one thing after another.... it's the same
damn thing over and over!
The meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.
After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe,
and he'll believe you.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint
upon it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.
Sex is like snow... You never know how many inches you're going
to get or how long it will last.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
Love is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.
"Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and
thinking what no one else has thought."
- Albert Szent-Gyorgi -
"Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals"
- "Oh, Lucky Man" -
I really hate this damn machine,
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does just what I want,
But only what I tell it.
"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;
united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels"
- Goya -
"Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon
the wall instead of using it"
- Gordon R. Dickson -
"Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbor."
- Toynbee -
"We have met the enemy and he is us"
- Walt Kelly (in POGO) -
"You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed
adultery, are now extinct."
- M. Somerset Maugham -
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
- Bert Lantz -
"The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity."
- Oscar Wilde -
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire -
Ode to Turbulent Flow:
Big whirls have little whirls
Which feed on their velocity,
And little whirls have lesser whirls
And so on, to viscosity.
"IBM uses what I like to call the 'hole-in-the-ground technique'
to destroy the competition..... IBM digs a big HOLE in the
ground and covers it with leaves. It then puts a big POT
OF GOLD nearby. Then it gives the call, 'Hey, look at all
this gold, get over here fast.' As soon as the competitor
approaches the pot, he falls into the pit"
- John C. Dvorak -
"There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them"
- Heisenberg -
"It takes all sorts of in & out-door schooling
to get adapted to my kind of fooling"
- R. Frost -
"Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!"
- Ben Jonson -
DETERIORATA
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice -- even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss -- and when.
Remember that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on `HOLD'.
Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
You are a fluke of the universe...
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not, the universe
Is laughing behind your back.
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