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Quotes from famous people - Part 2

Things worth having are worth cheating for.

Cheops' Law:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb --

Ancient Chinese Curse:
May you live in interesting times.

Ancient Chinese Curse:
May all your wishes be granted.

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.
Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)

My object will be, if possible, to form Christian men,
for Christian boys I can scarcely hope to make.
-- Thomas Arnold, on appointment to headmastership of Rugby --

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
- Thomas Jefferson -

I believe if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their
heads and their hearts will bear advantageous comparison
with those of any other class. There seems ever to have
been a proneness in the brilliant, and the warm-blooded,
to fall into this vice. The demon of intemperance
ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood
of genius and generosity.
- Abraham Lincoln -

Clever liars give details, but the cleverest don't.

A mid-air collision can seriously erode climb performance
- Barry Schiff

Cole's Law:
Thinly sliced cabbage.

Here we are in America...when do we collect unemployment?

One of the benefits of a college education
is to show the boy its little avail.
Emerson (1803-1882)

User-Friendly: Supplied with a full-color manual.
*
Very User-Friendly: Supplied with a disk and audiotape so the user
needn't bother with the full-color manual.
*
Extremely User-Friendly: Supplied with a mouse so that the user
needn't bother with the disk and audiotape,
the full color manual, or the program itself.

Why can't life's big problems come when
we are twenty and know everything?

No man is free who cannot command himself.
Pythagoras (B.C. 582-507)

Matilda's Sub-Committee Law:
If you leave the room, you're elected.

...the President has paid dearly for his White House. It has commonly cost
him all his peace, and the best of his manly attributes. To preserve for a
short time so conspicuous an appearance before the world, he is content to
eat dust before the real masters who stand behind the throne.
:: Ralph Waldo Emerson: Compensation, 1865 ::

No affectation of peculiarity can conceal a commonplace mind.
-W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

If the world is a progressively realized community of
interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink
procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates,
boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
Woody Allen

To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.

Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood.
-- Carl G. Jung --

To err is human; to compute divine.
Trust your computer but not its programmer.
- Morris Kingston -

Law of Computer programming:
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the maintainer.

Laws of Computer Programming
(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
(5) Any given program will expand to fill
all available memory.
(6) The value of a program is proportional to the
weight of its output.
(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
programmer who must maintain it.
(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in
English, and you will find that programmers cannot write
in English.
-SIGPLAN Notices, Vol 2 No 2

Law of Computer programming:
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

Law of Computer programming:
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

Art lies in concealing art.

Be on your guard ... against those who confess as
their weaknesses all the cardinal virtues.
-- Chesterfield --

Fleas can be taught nearly everything that a Congressman can.
:: Mark Twain (1835-1910) ::

Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should consider themselves
lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get...

I piss on it all -- from a considerable height.
:: Celine ::

It is the instinct of understanding to contradict reason.
- Jacobi

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself.
(I am large; I contain multitudes.)
-Walt Whitman

If you have enjoyed using this program, please contribute $25
to yourself and take the night off. What the heck.

Life is a language in which certain truths are conveyed to
us; if we could learn them in some other way, we should
not live.
Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

In the depths of my heart I can't help being convinced that
my dear fellowmen, with a few exceptions, are worthless.
:: Sigmund Freud ::

Cornuelle's Law:
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Chisolm's Third Law, Corollary 1:
If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, somebody will.

Chisolm's Third Law, Corollary 2:
If you do something which you are sure will meet with
everyone's approval, somebody won't like it.

If a man could say nothing against a character but what he could prove,
history could not be written.
-- Dr. Johnson --

I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose
happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

I am unable to understand how a man of honor could take
a newspaper in his hands without a shudder of disgust.
-- Baudelaire --

Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
: Thomas Fuller :

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he
will, he will be sure to repent.
Socrates (B.C. 469-399)

God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.
-- German proverb --

C-py Pr-t-ct--n:
An obscenity unfit to print and fast disappearing from common parlance.

I am very sure that any man of common understanding may, by culture, care,
attention, and labor, make himself whatever he pleases, except a great poet.
Chesterfield (1694-1773)

IBM: Somewhat like an IBM product; in current parlance,
invariably followed by the word "compatible."

Many kisse the hand they wish cut off.
-- George Herbert --

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
There's always one more bug.

BIVALVE -- an A.C./D.C. oyster.

I really hate this damn machine,
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does just what I want,
But only what I tell it.

Database Manager: A program that allows the user to manipulate data in
every conceivable way except the absolutely essential
one he or she conceives of the day after entering
20 megabytes of raw information.

Now Available: Available any day now.
*
Available Soon: Available in a year or so.
*
Available May 1: Version 1.0 may ship to dealers August 1.

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you
represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.
Jawaharial Nehru (1889-1964)

Maybe death and taxes are inevitable, but death doesn't
get worse every time Congress meets.
- Joan I. Welsh -

When one is in love one begins by deceiving oneself,
one ends by deceiving others.
That is what the world calls romance.
Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats.
I speak the truth, and they never believe me.
Camillo di Cavour (1810-1861)

Wise men argue causes, and fools decide them.
Anacharsis (fl. B.C. 600)

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
-Russell Baker

Think that day lost whose low descending sun
Views from thy hand no worthy action done.
-Anon. (ca. 1690)

In general those parents have the most reverence who deserve it.
- Samuel Johnson -

It is good to die before one has done anything deserving death.
-- Anaxandrides --

I have certainly known more men destroyed by the desire to
have a wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I
have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.
Yeats (1865-1939)

Success - keeping your mind awake and your desire asleep.
Moses Ibn Ezra (1060?-1139?)

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all
freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality
an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by
inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded
by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its
points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.
G. B. Shaw (1856-1950)

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
- ARTHUR C CLARKE

I've been trying for some time to develop a
life-style that doesn't require my presence.
- Garry Trudeau

We have been so anxious to give our children what we didn't have
that we neglected to give them what we DID have.

We are born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed.
-- Thomas Fuller --

Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there,
no constitution, no law, no court can save it.
- Judge Learned Hand -

Man alone is born crying, lives complaining, and dies disappointed.
William Temple (1628-1699)

There is but an inch of difference between
the cushioned chamber and the padded cell.
-- Chesterton --

To change and to change for the better are two different things.
German Proverb

No man, or woman, was ever cured of love by discovering the
falseness of his or her lover. The living together for
three long, rainy days in the country has done more to
dispel love than all the perfidies in love that have ever
been committed.
Arthur Helps (1813-1875)

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly
what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly dis-
appear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There is another which states that this has already happened.
- Douglas Adams -

His honour rooted in dishonour stood,
And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.
Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892)

Seek simplicity, and distrust it.

The man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them.
- Camillo Di Cavour -

A political machine is a united minority working against a divided majority.

O sacred solitude! divine retreat!
Choice of the prudent! envy of the great!
By thy pure stream, or in thy waving shade,
We court fair wisdom, that celestial maid.
Young (1683-1765)

The way to be nothing is to do nothing.
- Nathaniel Howe -

Reading and writing, arithmetic and grammar do not
constitute education, any more than a knife, fork and spoon
constitute a dinner.
Lubbock (1834-1913)

Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more,
brings a state of mind in which nothing seems impossible.
-- Henry Ford --

You may have to live in a crowd, but you do not
have to live like it, nor subsist on its food.
- Henry Van Dyke -

There are few women so perfect that their husbands do not
regret having married them at least once a day.
La Bruyere (1645-1696)

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
-Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

So near is falsehood to truth that a wise man would do well
not to trust himself on the narrow edge.

Truth does not do so much good in the world, as the appearance of it does evil.
La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

Tomorrow will I live, the fool does say;
Today itself's too late; the wise lived yesterday.
-Martial

To-morrow I will live, the fool does say:
to-day itself's too late; the wise lived yesterday.
Martial (43-104 A.D.)

I wonder that a soothsayer doesn't laugh
whenever he sees another soothsayer.
Cicero (B.C. 106-43)

If a thing is not worth doing, it is not worth doing well.

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there
is some ordinance under which you can be booked.
-Robert D. Sprecht (RAND Corp.)

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

When we begin to understand that we don't understand,
we're beginning to understand.

Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

There is nothing so simple that it can't be done wrong.

If a thing is right, it can be done; if wrong, it can be done without.

There is nothing so simple that it can't be done wrong.

If you want a thing done, go;
if not, send.

The world is full of double beds
And such delightful maidenheads
That there is simply no excuse
For sodomy and self-abuse.
-Hilaire Belloc

Bisexuality: It immediately doubles your
chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Woody Allen

Doubt indulged soon becomes doubt realized.
Frances Havergal (1836-1879)

Doyle's Law:
No matter how many share a cab, each puts
the full fare on his expense account.

The DREA Law:
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions,
the experimental apparatus will do exactly as it pleases.

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
William Congreve (1670-1729)

No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.

D Y S L E X I C S O F T H E W O R L D -- U N T I E !

You can make ends meet, but you can't make them like each other.
-JIM FIEBIG

If thou would'st have that stream of hard-earn'd knowledge,
of Wisdom heaven-born, remain sweet running waters,
thou should'st not leave it to become a stagnant pond.
H. P. Blavatsky (1831-1891)

He that marries for money, earns it.

Want and sorrow are the wages that folly earns for
itself, and they are generally paid.
Christian Schubart (1739-1791)

Every evil in the bud is easily crushed:
as it grows older, it becomes stronger.
Cicero (B.C. 106-43)

If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished;
but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always
difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.
Montesquieu (1689-1755)

Version 1.0: Buggier than Maine in June; eats data.
*
Version 1.1: Eats data only occasionally, upgrade free to avoid
litigation by disgruntled users of version 1.0.
*
Version 2.0: The version originally planned as the first release
(except for a couple of data-eating bugs that just
won't seem to go away), no free upgrades or the
company would go bankrupt.
*
Version 3.0: The revision in the works when the company goes bankrupt.

Wit is educated insolence.
-Aristotle (384-322 BC)

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of
folly is to fill the world with fools.
Herbert Spencer (1820-1903)

You get the best view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower,
because you can't see the Eiffel Tower from there.

Finagle's Eighth Rule:
Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.

Murphy's Eighth Law:
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has
seen and thinking what no one else has thought.
- Albert Szent-Gyorgi -

We must believe in luck. For how else can
we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

You thought it would be easy, so the truth eluded you.

Hoffstedt's Employment Principle:
Confusion creates jobs.

He has spent all his life in letting down empty buckets into empty wells;
and he's frittering away his old age in trying to draw them up again.
-- Sydney Smith, speaking of a friend --

Lives devoted to Beauty seldom end well.
:: Sir Kenneth Clark ::

There's too much talk about enforcing laws
and not enough said about obeying them.
- Arnold Glasow -

The iron chain and the silken cord are both equally bonds.
-- Schiller --

Help stamp out, abolish, obliterate and eradicate redundancy!

Genius is eternal patience.
Michelangelo (1474-1564)

Good information is hard to get. Doing anything with it is even harder.

Prophecy is many times the principal cause of the events foretold.
: Thomas Hobbes :

My reputation grows with every failure.
: Shaw :

By doing just a little every day,
I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
-Ashleigh Brilliant

every cloud
has its silver
lining but it is
sometimes a little
difficult to get it to
the mint.
-Don Marquis

Consciousness is a state in which a man knows all at once everything that
he in general knows and in which he can see how little he does know and
how many contradictions there are in what he knows.
Gurdjieff (1873-1949)

If thou wishest to get rid of thy evil propensities,
thou must keep far from evil companions.
Seneca (B.C. 3-65 A.D.)

The greater a man is in power above others, the more he ought to excel them
in virtue. None ought to govern who is not better than the governed.
Publilius Syrus (fl. B.C. 42)

Experience is only half of experience. -- Goethe --

It is easy to understand God as long as you don't try to explain him.
Joubert (1754-1824)

A man has need of tough ears to hear himself fairly judged.
- Montaigne -

The great masses of people...will more easily fall victim
to a great lie than to a small one.
- Adolph Hitler

The sooner you fall behind,
the more time you have to catch up.
- Ogden's Law -

O what a goodly outside falsehood hath!
-Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice, I, 3)

Familiarity breeds.

There are several ways to apportion the family income,
all of them unsatisfactory.
:: Benchley ::

Farnsdick's Corollary:
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is much farther away.

A lean compromise is better than a fat lawsuit.

There is no better companion than a fat wallet.

I can feel it. My mind. It's going, Dave. I can feel it.

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
- Stanislaus Leszczynski -

Murphy's Fifth Law:
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

The Fifth Rule:
You have taken yourself too seriously.

When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
-- Abraham Lincoln--

For the merchant, even honesty is a financial speculation.
--Baudelaire --

It is easier to perceive error than to find truth,
for the former lies on the surface and is easily seen,
while the latter lies in the depth,
where few are willing to search for it.
Goethe (1749-1832)

People who like this sort of thing will find this
the sort of thing they like.
-Book review by Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

A successful man cannot realize how hard an unsuccessful man finds life.
- E. W. Howe -

Why tell me that a man is a fine speaker
if it is not the truth that he is speaking?
- Thomas Carlyle -

We must certainly acknowledge that solitude is a fine thing;
but it is a pleasure to have some one who can answer,
and to whom we can say, from time to time,
that solitude is a fine thing.
Balzac (1799-1850)

A day for firm decisions!!!!!
Or is it?

Murphy's First Law:
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
*
Murphy's Second Law:
Everything takes longer than you think.
*
Murphy's Third Law:
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.

To be able to endure `odium is the first art
to be learned by those who aspire to power.
Seneca: Hercules Furens, c. 50

Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time.
But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into
working in only a few 30-hour debugging sessions.

Crittendon's 14th application of Murphy's First Law:
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which
side of the bread to butter.

Todd's First Law:
All things being equal, you lose.

Parkinson's First Law:
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

Finagle's First Law:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Spark's First Rule:
Strive to look tremendously important.

Weinberg's First Law:
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity
of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man
and I will show you a failure
- Thomas A. Edison -

For truth and duty it is ever the fitting time;
who waits until circumstances completely favor
his undertaking will never accomplish anything.
- Martin Luther -

When our vices leave us, we flatter ourselves
with the credit of having left them.
-La Rochefoucauld (1747-1827)

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are
right sometimes.
Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars.
-Elbert Hubbard

It is not up to you to check the cleaning lady for lumps.

Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy
applications programmers...

Never confuse motion for action.
-- Benjamin Franklin

He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds.
- Dag Hammerskjold -

The long habit of living indisposeth us for dying.
-- Thomas Browne --

God may give you seeds but he won't plant them for you.

Nothing doth hurt more in a state than that cunning men pass for wise.
:: Bacon ::

If the rich could hire other people to die for them,
the poor could make a wonderful living.
- Yiddish proverb

She begged and she pleaded for more.
I said,"We've already had four,
And I'm sure that you've heard,
Though its somewhat absurd,
That EROS spelt backwards is SORE."

The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it,
but what he becomes by it.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers
who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband, for the
same reason that it is more difficult to be
witty every day than now and then.
-Balzac

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969)

If we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us.
William Feather (born 1888)

The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money
is not likely to make money nor to find much fun in life.
- Charles M. Schwab -

The road that leads the scientist in his quest for knowledge
toward the most distant galactic islands in the cosmos
may well turn out to be shorter than the distance
that separates us from an understanding of life here on Earth.
- Ernst Von Khuon

Boredom -- the desire for desires.
: Leo Tolstoy :

Although our information is incorrect, we do not vouch for it.
: Erik Alfred Leslie Satie :

The rich man plans for tomorrow...
The poor man for today.
Chinese Proverb

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual
intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the
liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is
needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage.
Bruce Barton (1886-1967)

I see men ordinarily more eager to discover a reason for things
than to find out whether the things are so.
-- Montaigne --

In times like the present, men should utter nothing for which
they would not willingly be responsible through time and eternity.
-- Abraham Lincoln --

An important art of politicians is to find new names for institutions
which under old names have become odious to the public.
:: Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord (1754-1838) ::

Few people have the imagination for reality.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so
fearful in its potentialities, so absolutely terrifying, that even man, the
fighter, who will dare torture and death, will be appalled, and so abandon
war forever. What man's mind can create, man's character can control.
Thomas A. Edison (1847-1931)

One must separate from anything that forces one
to repeat "No" again and again.
- Friedrich Nietzsche -

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
Montaigne (1533-1592)

He that hath a wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for
they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
-Francis Bacon

When some folks flee from temptation, they leave a forwarding address.

Some men are discovered; others are found out.

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Finagle's Fourth Law:
Once a job is messed up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Murphy's Fourth Law:
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,
the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Might as well be frank, monsieur;
It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must,
like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.
Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
Chinese Proverb

Love begins with love; friendship, however
warm, cannot change to love, however mild.
-- La Bruyere --

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.
- Alexander Pope -

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.
-- Thomas Jefferson --

Prayer keeps a man from sin, and sin keeps a man from prayer.
- Brigham Young -

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere
to nothing.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?)

We have Art that we may not perish from Truth.
:: Nietzsche ::

There was a young lady from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died.
While her lover lamented
The apple fermented
And made cider inside her inside.

Truth emerges more readily from error than from confusion.
Bacon (1561-1626)

Kings will be tyrants from policy when subjects are rebels from principle.
:: E. Burke ::

Monkeys ... very sensibly refrain from speech,
lest they should be set to earn their livings.
-- Grahame --

On how many people's libraries, as on bottles from the
drugstore, one might write, "For external use only."
-- Daudet --

If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him.
Franklin (1706-1790)

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
-H. L. Mencken

There was a young girl from Penzance
Who decided to take just one chance;
So she let herself go
In the lap of her beau,
And now all her sisters are aunts.
*var*
A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd "just take a chance."
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.

There's only one thing more painful than learning from experience,
and that is not learning from experience.
:: Archibald Mac Leish ::

There was a young lady from Exeter,
and all the young men threw their sex at her.
Just to be rude, she lay in the nude
while her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.

All strangers and beggars are from God,
and a gift, though small, is precious.
Homer (c. B.C. 700)

...The episode of Reed Smoot, the first Senator to be elected from Utah:
He was a Mormon, and several Senators protested to Boies Penrose,
then the leader of the Senate, that he should not be allowed to
take his seat. Penrose asked whether Smoot had more than one wife
and, on being told that he had only one, looked out over the Senate
and said:
"Well, I don't see why we can't get along just as well
with a polygamist who doesn't polyg as we do with a
lot of monogamists who don't monog!"
-- Francis T. P. Plimpton --

Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the
imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.
-- Dr. Johnson --

There was a man from Mich.
Who used to wish and wich.
That spring would come
So he could bum
Around and go out fich.

Frothingham's Corollary:
The mountain looks closer than it is.

God looks with favor at pure, not full, hands.
Publilius Syrus (fl. B.C. 42)

Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by
blowing first.

Futility Law:
No experiment is a complete failure -
it can always serve as a negative example.

Philosophy triumphs easily over past and future evils;
but present evils triumph over it.
La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

In a philosophical dispute, he gains most
who is defeated, since he learns most.
: Epicurus :

CHILD SUPPORT -- paying off a gamboling debt.

An idle reason lessens the weight of the good ones you gave before.
Swift (1667-1745)

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain
to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.
-Macaulay

The General Law:
The chaos in the universe always increases.

He who anticipates his century is generally persecuted
when living, and is always pilfered when dead.
Disraeli (1804-1881)

Love is when two people who care about each other get confused.
- Bob Schneider

When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
-Robert Byrne

It is easier to stay out than to get out.
-Mark Twain

It is only when you don't run from yourself that you begin to get somewhere.

YOU'LL GET IT WHEN YOU GET IT.
-- Embroidered jockstrap --

The best thing about being famous is that it makes it easier to get laid.
:: Allen Ginsberg ::

Nothing short of being caught in bed with a dead girl or
a live boy can hurt my political career in this state.
:: Edwin C. Edwards, Governor of Louisiana ::

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
-Napoleon (1769-1821)

It is the privilege of adults to give advice.
It is the privilege of youth not to listen.
Both avail themselves of their privileges, and the world rocks along.
-- D. Sutten --

Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh receiveth;
and he that seeketh findeth;
and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Jesus (B.C. 6?-30? A.D.)

Listening gives wisdom, Speaking gives repentance.
-Chinese Proverb

Glyme's Formula:
The secret of success is sincerity.
Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
-- Italian proverb --

Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you when things go wrong.

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Murphy's Law: If something can go wrong...
It will, and at the worst possible time.

The procreation of mankind is a great marvel and mystery. Had God consulted
me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of
the species by fashioning them of clay, in the way Adam was fashioned.
-- Martin Luther --

A God all mercy is a God unjust.
Young (1683-1765)

What men call gallantry and gods adultery
Is much more common where the climate's sultery.
-Lord Byron (1788-1824)

No matter what goes wrong,
there is always somebody who knew it would.

A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's going on.
:: William Burroughs ::

There are three things to remember if you have gold fillings:
Never eat hard candy;
Don't grind your teeth;
Never smile at a mugger.

The Golden Rule:
Whoever has the most gold makes the rules.

A young Apollo, golden haired,
Stands dreaming on the verge of strife,
Magnificently unprepared
For the long littleness of life.
Frances C. Cornford (1886-1960)

Lefty Gomez's Law:
If you don't throw it, they can't hit it.

There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-Flannery O'Connor

I think it would be a good idea.
:::::::::
:::::::::
-Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked
what he thought of Western civilization.

Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.
-- Halifax --

The best qualification of a prophet is to have a good memory.
-- Halifax --

The man who doesn't read good books
has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
-Mark Twain (1835-1910)

This time, like all times, is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.
Emerson -

...Malice will always find bad motives for good actions.
Shall we therefore never do good?
-- Thomas Jefferson --

There is nothing in life so irrational, that good sense
and chance may not set it to rights; nothing so rational,
that folly and chance may not utterly confound it.
Goethe (1749-1832)

Men are seldom blessed with good fortune and good sense
at the same time.
Livy (B.C. 59-17 A.D.)

A healthy appetite for righteousness, kept in due control by good manners,
is an excellent thing; but to "hunger and thirst" after it
is often merely a symptom of spiritual diabetes.
-- Broad --

If we are ever in doubt what to do, it is a good rule
to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.
- Sir John Lubbock -

Whether it is fun to go to bed with a good book
depends a great deal on who's reading it.
:: Kenneth Patchen ::

There is little less trouble in governing a
private family than a whole kingdom.
- Montaigne -

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

How does it become a man to behave towards the American government today?
I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it.
:: Henry David Thoreau: An Essay on Civil Disobedience, 1849 ::

We pamper little griefs into great ones,
and bear great ones as well as we can.
Hazlitt (1778-1830)

Half the truth is often a great lie.
Franklin (1706-1790)

There are trivial truths and the great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
*
(The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.)
Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

It is not obligatory for a generation to have great men.
-- Ortega Y Gasset --

It is not obligatory for a generation to have great men.
-- Ortega Y Gasset --

In time of war, the loudest patriots are the greatest profiteers.
-- Bebel --

The last temptation is the greatest treason:
To do the right deed for the wrong reason.
T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)

Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. --

Never take a course of action on the sole grounds that
reprehensible people are urging the opposite course.
-- D. Sutten --

Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
-- Benjamin Franklin --

Alas for the South! Her books have grown fewer --
She was never much given to literature.
:: The Rev. J. Gordon Cougler ::

Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is inversely
proportional to its desirability.

I never could believe that Providence had sent
a few men into the world ready booted and spurred to ride,
and millions ready saddled and bridled to be ridden.
:: Richard Rumbold, on the scaffold ::

Aim for perfection! Half right is always half wrong.

On the Train of Thought 99% of the tickets sold are half fare.

Well begun is half done.
-Horace

From compromise and things half done,
Keep me with stern and stubborn pride;
And when at last the fight is won,
God, keep me still unsatisfied.
-Louis Untermeyer

Who never doubted, never half believed.
Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
Bailey (1816-1902)

In love, as in war, a fortress that parleys is half taken.
Margaret of Valois (1553-1615)

Hane's Law:
There is no limit to how bad things can get.

We must all hang together; or we will surely all hang separately.
- Benjamin Franklin -

Start a political upheaval and let yourself be caught, and you will hang as
a traitor. But place yourself at the head of a rebellion and gain your point,
and all future generations will worship you as the Father of their Country.
Hendrik Van Loon (1882-1944)

Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Prophecy - To observe that which has passed, and guess it will happen again.
Elbert Hubbard (1859-1915)

It is often better to have a great deal of harm happen to
one than a little; a great deal may rouse you to remove
what a little will only accustom you to endure.
Greville (1554-1628)

Let us be kind to one another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.
- Ian Maclaren -

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

When no wind blows, even the weathervane has character.
-- Stanislaw Lec --

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has done
you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Russell Lynes -

Liberty is a need felt by a small class of people whom nature has endowed
with nobler minds than the mass of men;.... Consequently, it may be repressed
with impunity. Equality, on the other hand, pleases the masses.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte --

Just because everything is different, doesn't mean anything has changed.
-SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA ORACLE

Time to me this truth has taught,
(Tis a treasure worth revealing):
More offend from want of thought
Than from want of feeling.
Charles Swain (1803-1874)

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached
in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington (1856-1915)

Hasten slowly.
(Festina lente.)
: Suetonius :

The greatest sin against mankind is not to hate them -
but to be indifferent to them.
- George Bernard Shaw -

If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.

Great riches have sold more men than they have bought.
-- Bacon --

It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.

Before you can begin to think about politics at all, you have to
abandon the notion that here is a war between good men and bad men.
:: Walter Lippmann (1889- )

Do you suppose that I should have lived as long as I have if
I had moved in the sphere of public life, and conducting myself
in that sphere like an honorable man, had always upheld the cause
of right, and conscientiously set this end above all other things?
Not by a very long way, gentlemen; neither would any other man.
:: Socrates: quoted in Plato's Apology, c. 399 B.C. ::

Greatly begin! Though thou have time
But for a line, be that sublime-
Not failure, but low aim is crime.
James Lowell (1819-1891)

I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered
a hell of a lot more if I had been understood.
-- Clarence Darrow --

The weak have remedies, the wise have joys;
superior wisdom is superior bliss.
Young (1683-1765)

The secret of teaching is to appear to have known
all your life what you learned this afternoon.

Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen,
few in pursuit of the goal.
-- Nietzsche --

All that we are is the result of what we have thought;
it is founded on our thoughts.
If a man speaks or acts with pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
Buddha (B.C. 568-488)
*
All that we are is the result of what we have thought;
it is founded on our thoughts,
it is made up of our thoughts.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him,
as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the carriage.
The Dhammapada (c. B.C. 300)

If I had engaged in politics, O men of Athens, I should have perished
long ago, and done no good either to you or to myself.
:: Socrates: quoted in Plato's Apology, c. 399 B.C. ::

As a general rule, run your pen through every other word you have written;
you have no idea what vigor it will give to your style.
-- Sydney Smith --

It is no use saying "We are doing our best." You have got
to succeed in doing what is necessary.
- Sir Winston Churchill -

A woman never forgets the men she could have had;
a man, the women he couldn't.

Courage is the greatest of all the virtues, because if you haven't courage,
you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others.
- Samuel Johnson -

The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,
Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
Omar Khayyam (fl. 1100)

Hawkins' Theory:
Progress consists of replacing a theory
that is wrong with one more subtly wrong.

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
- Francis Bacon -

The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer -

If man makes himself a worm he must not complain when he is
trodden on.
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804)

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.
: Montaigne :

It is well for one to know more than he says.
Plautus (B.C. 254-184)

The average man is rich enough when he has
a little more than he has got, and not till then.
: William Ralph Inge :

When he to whom one speaks does not understand, and he who
speaks himself does not understand, this is metaphysics.
Voltaire (1694-1778)

He that will not when he may,
He shall not when he will.
-Robert Mannyng (Handlyng Synne, 1303)

A person is always startled when he hears himself
seriously called an old man for the first time.
:: O. W. Holmes, Jr. ::

What stronger breastplate than a heart untainted?
Thrice is he arm'd that hath his quarrel just,
And he but naked, though lock'd up in steel,
Whose conscience with injustice is corrupted.
-Shakespeare (Henry VI, II, III, 2)

When all desires that surge in the heart are
Renounced, the mortal becomes immortal.
When all the knots that strangle the heart are
Loosened, the mortal becomes immortal.
This sums up the teaching of the Scriptures.
Upanishads (c. B.C. 800)

Most people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in
the prose of life. To have ruined oneself over poetry is an honor.
Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)

Virtue does not always demand a heavy sacrifice --
only the willingness to make it when necessary.
-- Frederick Dunn --

Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
- Dorothy Parker

He who does not know truth at sight is unworthy of her notice.
:: Blake ::

Do you expect, forsooth, that a mother will hand down to her children
principles which differ from her own?
-Juvenal -

Pride, perceiving humility honourable, often borrows her cloak.
Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

Here's to Woman! Would that we could fall into her arms
without falling into her hands.
-Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?)

Falsehood is never so successful as when she baits her hook
with truth, and no opinions so fastly misled us as those
that are not wholly wrong, as no timepieces so effectually
deceive the wearer as those that are sometimes right.
Colton (1780-1832)

Life is barren enough surely with all her trappings;
let us therefore be cautious how we strip her.
-- Samuel Johnson --

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Together we must rise to ever higher and higher platitudes.
-Mayor Richard Daley

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington -

He who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere.
- Omar Khayyam -

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you. That is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to get away,
it is best to let him run.
-Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income.
-- Chesterfield --

It is a poor workman who blames his tools.

A man's house is his hassle.

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
-OSCAR WILDE

Every man complains of his memory, but no man complains of his judgement.

He does not *believe* that does not *live* according to his belief.
- Thomas Fuller -

God is truth and light his shadow.
Plato (B.C. 427?-347?)

There's nothing like the sight of an old enemy down on his luck.
Euripides (B.C. 480-406)

The only true time which a man can properly call his own,
is that which he has all to himself;
the rest, though in some sense he may be said to live it,
is other people's time, not his.
Charles Lamb (1775-1834)

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious
ancestry is like a potato, - the only good belonging to him
is underground.
Thomas Overbury (1581-1613)

No one can afford to look downward for his enjoyments.
- David Starr Jordan -



 
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