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Mighty Mutant Sewer Phreaks at Beyond Hope - Part
Thus continues the saga of the Mighty Mutant Sewer Phreaks at Beyond Hope,
this is part 5. (as written by Displaced Electron)
-----
A series of loud noises turns the heads of Dave, Tragon, and Death Christ
towards the entrance to the club. A pimple covered teenager wearing a
cardigan sweater, tan slacks, and a backpack scrambles over the crowd
waiting to gain admitance and rushes onto the floor. "Which one of you
lamers is called Death Christ?" he yells.
"Who the hell are you?" Dave yells back.
The man stares at Dave with a look of suprise on his face. "I'm SuperCurrior,
of RiSC! Doesn't everybody know that?"
A groan escapes from Dave's throat.
"Wares pup," utters Death Christ.
Tragon, long since passed out from an extreme alergic reaction to the
macintosh cpu impaled in his left leg, has no ridiculing statement to
offer.
"Thats right, meltedbutterballs!" SuperCurrior replys. "Which one of you
skill deprived bastards had the absence of mind to start calling himself
Death Christ? What kind of a lameass picks a handle called Death Christ
any-"
SuperCurrior's reply is cut short in large part due to Death Christ's 20
inch penis shattering his skull and crushing half his brain.
"Dave, what does a Death Christ say before taking over the world?"
"uhh.."
"First, we kill all the wares pups!" Death Christ laughs.
"Get that asshole's backpack. Find the needle"
Dave rummages around for a while in The Wares Pup Who Was Formerly Known
As SuperCurrior's backpack. "Got it"
"Dude, Tragon's out of it," remarks Death Christ.
"Kinda reminds you of daemon9's party, doesn't it?" Dave replys.
"Yeah, except this time hes passed out on the ground. Ok, pump that liquified
bill gates excrement into the cpu!"
"Eww, dude. That is *NOT* something i want to think about!" Dave reaches down
and slowly inserts the needle into the maddened macintosh central processing
unit.
Death Christ, opening up the manual, turns randomly to page 84 and then yells,
"Shit! Those things can imprint themselves on your brain! Fucking hurry!"
As Dave begins windows95 injection the macintosh cpu begins something of it's
own, it begins to scream. The sound shatters glass and ruptures the ear drums
of those too stupid to cover their ears.
"All the way! Before the cpu takes over his brain and he wakes up to kill us!"
yells Death Christ.
In the moments before Dave finishes dumping the greatest virus ever known
to mankind into it, the cpu's screaming reaches a cresendo, shaking the very
earth with its pain. In the moments after Dave has completed the injection
the cpu loses it's ability to scream, shortly before it loses it's life.
"We got it. Nothing like killing a mac to brighten your day," cheers
Death Christ.
As Dave and Death Christ look down, Tragons eyes flutter open. "You guys
would not fucking believe the dream i just had. There was this cpu- OUCH!"
Dave holds the macintosh cpu he just pulled out of Tragon's injured leg
in front of his face.
"Holy shit!" Tragon gasps. "Fuck it. I don't care what Harm saw on the news.
I don't care if john drapper is being gang rapped by a bunch of enchanted
cocots in the lobby. I'm going back to the room, and i'm going to get some
fucking rest!"
-----
Thus ends part 5 of the saga of the Mighty Mutant Sewer Phreaks at Beyond
Hope. If you'd like to mail the author, you can't.
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