About
Community
Bad Ideas
Drugs
Ego
Artistic Endeavors
But Can You Dance to It?
Cult of the Dead Cow
Literary Genius
Making Money
No Laughing Matter
On-Line 'Zines
Science Fiction
Self-Improvement
Erotica
Fringe
Society
Technology
register | bbs | search | rss | faq | about
meet up | add to del.icio.us | digg it

Mighty Mutant Sewer Phreaks at Beyond Hope - Part

thus begins the saga of the Mighty Mutant Sewer Phreaks at Beyond Hope,
part 4 (as written by Displaced Electron)
-----

"You guys are in some serious shit!" yells Harm.
"I just saw you on TV, and so did half of the rest of the people here in the
convention hall!"

"Hmm, thats funny, i don't remember doing anything wrong recently," comments
Tragon.

"You went trashing at Apple Computer's New York office!" Harm screams, "Are
you fucking insane?"

Harm pauses for a few seconds.. "Oh my god, John Drapper is staring at the
TV and trying to shove a payfone reciever up his ass! Oh! Gross!"

Harm can be heard hurling violently..

"I take it he got the ear piece all the way in?" questions Tragon.

Tragon is answered only by renewed puking activity..

Dave grabs the PhreakCom(tm) and asks Harm, "So what was on the TV anyway?"

"Apple armed response was frisking some kid," Harm manages to get out from
between the bile in his throat.

"Typical," is Dave's only response.

"Give me the damn PhreakCom!" roars Tragon, who then grabs it from Dave.
"Harm, what is the story on the news?"

"You guys are wanted for Trashing, Trashlifting, Unauthorized Access to
Apple Property, Destruction of Apple Property-"

Harm is interupted by an indignant Tragon, "Well fuck. The damned lock was
in the way! If they didn't want us to cut it off, they shouldn't have put
it there in the first place. That must have been why it was there, to be
cut off. Its the only logical explaination."

"Oh i'm sure the judge will see it that way too," Harm replys drily.

Tragon, in the midst of forming his reply, is shot in the left leg by what
appears to be a cpu. Dave and Death Christ look on in awe as Tragon's
leg begins to spasm uncontrolably, kicking violently at his right leg. The
PhreakCom(tm) is dropped and smashed in the ensuing chaos.

"Shit!" Tragon screams. "Get this fucking thing off of me!"

While Dave rushes over and attempts to pull the offending cpu out of Tragon's
left leg, the Apple Assassin that was hidden in the shadows moves off. "Dude,
its too stiff for me to pull out!"

"Stiff? Stiffeners! DC, get the manual on cpu stiffeners, this thing has
what looks like a macintosh logo on it, but its vibrating too fast for me
to get a good look," Tragon yells.

"Got it. Hmm. Looks like a cpu stiffener is a device used to overload a
cpu with electricity and accelerate it toward an object."

Tragon grinds his teeth and manages to get out, "Drain. The. CPU."

"I know of only one thing that could possibly drain that cpu," Dave says.

Death Christ, in muted shock, utters "You don't mean.." before trailing off.

"Yes dude. Windows 95."

"But what if it spreads to his leg?!"

"We'll just have to take that chance."

"What the hell do you mean? Its my fucking leg, asshole!" Tragon yells.

"And you'll lose it anyway, right after it beats the rest of you into a
bloody pulp!" Dave returns.

"Alright fine, but first, change the shell variable to command com."

"Ok, lets do it DC."

Death Christ runs over to the nearest payfone and proceeds to pull out his
red box after dialing in a blur of fingers and depressed keys. A lady answers
the fone after it rings twice.

"Microsoft emergency services, what is the nature of the emergency?"

"I have a man down with a stiffened cpu in the leg, i need an infection, err
i mean injection of Windows 95 delivered to my current location as soon as
possible!" replys Death Christ.

"Strength of dosage?" quirys the woman.

"Final beta strength."

"Is it really that bad?"

Death Christ glances over his shoulder before replying, "YES!".

"A currior has been dispatched and should arrive momentarily, we will wave
the normal charges for the stiffened cpu and the chance to collect data on
a patient injured by one." the fone clicks.
-----
Will the currior arrive in time? Will a single dosage of Windows 95 be
enough to drain the awesome destructive power of a stiffened macintosh cpu?
The answers to these questions, plus much more, in the next exciting episode
of the Mighty Mutant Sewer Phreaks at Beyond Hope!
-----
Notice to the non-braindead:
The above is a work of fiction. As such, it is not technically accurate.
In fact, all technilogical information in the above text is complete bullshit.
 
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.

 

totse.com certificate signatures
 
 
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
Hot Topics
Neutral English Accent
ah le francais...
Most amount of languages someone can learn
what language do you like to hear?
On a certain annoyance of speaking English..
GPP is bad grammar
Les Verbes Rares Francais! Aidez-moi!
Words that piss you Off
 
Sponsored Links
 
Ads presented by the
AdBrite Ad Network

 

TSHIRT HELL T-SHIRTS