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Rant about Japan


Japan

by

Fred Fagbag



I don't like paragraphs. So I don't use them. If you want paragraphs
then find yourself a copy of Reader's Digest. I don't like punctuation
much either so if you don't like mine go fuck yourself.

Well, Japan has lost points on it's stock market today. Percentage
points that is. Looks like we're gonna get screwed again. Since our
dollar is worth more now and our products cost more over there now they
have even less reasons to buy our stuff. So their stuff will be quite
a bit less expensive and we'll all fall into line to keep buying them.
Guess this ruins my plans on marketing a 12 inch black dildo with warts
on it in Japan. You know anyone so anal retentive would just LOVE to
get a big burst of relief with that type of thing. And you though that
they had forgotten about Hiroshima huh? Speaking of dildos, several
counties in Florida have now made it a second degree misdemeanor to
possess either of two albums by a rather rude rap group. I hate rap
music(?) but I just can't live with something like this. Anal retentive
behaviour at it's worst, the curse of censorship is something that Florida
has had some very bad problems with lately. Under the obscenity laws
that are currently in effect just about anything that offends a grand
jury can be banned. I can't serve on a jury. I'm a law enforcement
officer. I get thrown out on the first go around by the D.A. But if
they did let me sit on the grand jury I would push to find the way that
Japan has done business with the U.S. as being obscene and ban IT. What
makes these people so ruthless? Are they mad because their shogun class
can't go around cutting people into little bits so they decide to become
economic warriors? Imagine different nations if their businesses went
about conducting business like their ancient warriors did. Irish
companies would have single product face-to-face competetion and the
company that lost would bow down and go out of business. The
Icelandic companies would attempt multi-national corporate takeovers.
The companies in China would ruthlessly slander each other starting on a
local level and eventually sweeping across Asia. Would the new Russian
companies that are forming now burn any stock that was bought by hostile
companies? Fuck a duck. You know what that means? That means that the
American companies would help rebuild rival companies that they had
slaughtered in the cutthroat business world. Hmmmmm... perhaps we DO
business like this? Consider this: not too long ago, we turned the
plans for one of our most advanced fighter jet planes over to Japan so
that they can build them. Even more recently we decided to deliver the
plans on how to build our "super computers" over to Japan. Let's see,
we held a corner of computers for a while and then got slaughtered by
the invasion of clone computers from Japan. Lesson, play your cards
close to your vest. So, based on this what do we do? We say, "Hey guys,
would you like a chance to fuck us over again with the new computers that
only we are manufacturing right now?" Tell me gentle folks, does this
strike you as being remarkably brilliant? If your answer to the
preceeding question was "Yes" then take two cyanide and call me in the
morning. It is just for the reason that I have decided not to market any
of my latest hi-tech sex toys outside the United States. Just think, we
could easily lose the race in developing the most advanced vibrators in
the world. I recommend that we pass legislation to make the exporting
of any vibrator of over 5 brake horse power a third degree felony. Even
though it will be a great blow to my future business plans, I will be
glad to limit shipment of my 4 wheel drive, anti-lock brake, and power
steering vibrator if it has a engine size over 302 cubic inches to the
United States. I will even spend reasonable amounts to prevent spies
from the Orient from obtaining, taking apart, and reverse engineering the
marvelous secrets of these products. Now if I can just figure a way to
avoid sleeping in wet spot... but that's for a later story.




 
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