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Hypnosian Fantasia

by Sephiroth

Sleep has had a profound effect on my life. I can devote hours to her and think nothing of it. I never need much preparation for Sleep; I can find her just about anywhere, and she's always worth my time. However, I must admit that Sleep and I are sometimes at odds, and one of us might ignore the other for days on end. This is particularly annoying when it is she who does the ignoring. Insomnia has been the result of many a ruined week in my life, for naturally, if I am unable to coax Sleep one night, it will throw off my schedule for the whole week. I know not why this close friend of mine sometimes avoids me, but when she does, it’s hell. I love Sleep, and to be without Sleep's favour is often more than I can bear. But, what am I to do to gain this favour back, once it is lost?

When dealing with so tiresome a courtship as the courtship of Sleep, pedestrian methods are unlikely to work. Sleep doesn’t respond to chocolates, or flowers. Cards won’t gain her acquiescence. Alcohol works, and pills do too, but the quantity required and the after-effects are not really worth the tryst with Sleep that ensues. The best way to win Sleep eluded me for some time, but after extensive testing, I seem to have developed a rather effective formula. A boring movie always does a lot to soften her up (I usually follow this with dinner, as the post-prandial dip and movie discussion are quite a drowsy combination). Perhaps a glass of wine with dessert, just to set the mood, then I turn the lights down low and snuggle up on the couch. Finding something boring like infomercials on TV is another mood setter and helps ease the approach to the topic of bed. One must approach the topic with subtlety; to simply stand up and declare: “I’m going to bed! Who’s with me?" is not a good idea, because Sleep will not follow for some time, if at all. Indeed, the secret to having a good night with Sleep lies in how one approaches the subject. I find that it must be done with great ease, so that it appears natural: the final conclusion to the long relentless hours of wakefulness. You must convince her that there is more fun in bed than there is in staying up.

If, as I do, you generally agree with this principal, and you follow these simple directions, you should soon find yourself slipping under the covers as Sleep falls gently upon you.

 
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