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Living in a collective
Dear Networkers:
Well, I found time to sit down and jot a few notes about my communal
living experience. Feel free to use any of this that interests you, or to
ask me to amplify something for print. And, like everything else I write for
other publications, I encourage you to edit to fit space or format or
ideology or interests or whatever. After all, I can always give you a bad
review if you butcher it too badly.
Oh, and it should go without saying (but often doesn't) that if you
don't like this, you can just pitch it. If nothing else, it was valuable in
clarifying some of my own thoughts for me.
Cheers,
My experience with collective living started when I dropped out of
Caltech and moved into a big house in Alhambra with four other Techers -- 3
dropouts and a senior. The original motivation was mainly economic; five
people, it seems, can live off of no income for much longer than one
(although we did all get jobs and money was never a problem). That was the
house that became known as Beyond the Leading Edge, a reference to the
then-current Caltech fundraising campaign. It lasted for five years or so
-- I was there for about three.
I have lots of memories from BTLE. Some of them are not particularly
nice, like the gal who gave a couple of the guys VD, or the night a drunken
housemate had to be restrained from going after a guest with a crowbar, or
the arguments that arose when I brought a stray dog home. But there are
plenty of good memories as well: learning to fix cars from an expert
mechanic, making foolishly naive plans to raise kids together, getting drunk
with congenial friends.
I left BTLE because I moved 3000 miles away, to Boston. It wasn't all
that traumatic; relations between myself and the only other original
housemate were pretty strained, and although the financial hassles of
splitting common goods were considerable, I think we were both glad to put
an end to our association. A few years later my wife and I found that we
couldn't afford a decent amount of space, but we could afford half of twice
as much space; such are the vagaries of rental housing. But on due
consideration we just couldn't see going through the hassles of communal
finances and trying to deal with friends on an everyday basis. So we signed
a lease and became small-scale landlords, subletting two bedrooms out of four.
This brought in a different set of hassles, of course, from having to pay
rent on vacant rooms to agreeing on what food to buy (we eventually went to
completely non-communal food). But it was worth the hassles to have the
power to get rid of one particularly obnoxious roommate, a person who proved
to be psychotic and not taking his medication. Fortunately we had his
signature on a contract and could get rid of him when push came to shove.
Now after another move Carolyn and I are "homeowners" (we own nearly 1%
of the place now). We have five bedrooms and yet are still horror-stricken
whenever anyone suggests we rent one out. Why? Well, I guess five years or
so of collective experience has taught me that I personally value freedom
more than companionship. As it stands I can use the computer at three in the
morning and not worry about disturbing anyone I'm not on intimate terms
with. I can leave the dishes unwashed for a day or two or blow off my share
of the cleaning without feeling guilty. And I don't have to worry about
roommates who drink to excess or leave their stuff lying around or wake me
up at three in the morning or steal my tools or otherwise inconvenience me.
Yeah, I know it's a two-way street. But for me, collective living was a
means rather than an end -- a way to cut housing costs until I no longer had
to cut them. Perhaps some day the ideal community will spring up and invite
my family to join, and we'll move. Until then, you're welcome to visit --
but don't wear out your welcome.
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