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1618 taglines for most Offline Mail readers

!enif tsuj si gnihtyrevE
"A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass"
"A lie is terminological inexactitude." Churchill
"A man's a man for a' that!" Burns
"A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices"
"A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck." Garfield
"A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage."
"All clowns are masked, all personae flow from choices"
"All great truths began as blasphemies." G B Shaw
"All humans things are subject to decay."
"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."
"And when fate summons monarchs must obey;"
"Aside from a touch of arthritis, I'd say pretty good."
"Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?"
"Beulah, peel me a grape."
"But once you are real, you can't become unreal again."
"But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis!"
"Call waiting", great if you have two friends
"Captain, I protest! I AM NOT a merry man!" - WORF
"Captain, please. Not in front of the Klingons."
"Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo"
"Earth was not earth before her sons appeared."
"Every why hath a wherefore."
"Every woman should marry -- and no man." Disraeli
"Everyone lives by selling something." - R.L. Stevenson
"Everything's got a moral if only you can find it."
"Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid" FDR
"Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean."
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a download!" -Rhett Sysop
"God said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light." Pope
"Growl for me, show me that you still care!"
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned." Congreve
"Help! I've fallen and can't get up." A. Tree
"How wise are they that are but fools in love!" Cooke
"I feel [Insert emotion of choice here], out there..."
"I like the 486 tower. Does it come in red?"
"I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul."
"I was unaware that I caused any inconviences."
"I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my husband."
"I've been dead before." -- Spock, ST VI
"Is this Heaven... No. Smell, its Iowa"
"Less talk... more Synthehol." -- Lt. Worf
"Let's win this one and go home." - George A. Custer
"Life has a great deal up its sleeve."
"Logic is logic. That's all I say." Holmes
"Look at all the Indians!" - General Custer
"Love -- a grave mental disease." Plato
"Man is a piece of the universe made alive." Emerson
"Man's the bad child of the universe." Oppenheim
"Man, born of woman is of few days; full of trouble." Job
"May you live all the days of your life." Swift
"Maytag" is my middle name; I'm an agitator.
"Men die and worms eat them - but not for love" Shake
"Men know life too early, women too late" Wilde
"Men, in general, are but great great children" Napoleon
"Modesty died when false modesty was born." Mark Twain
"Nice legs. . .for a human."
"No, I didn't." - Teddy Kennedy
"Number One, buy me a Pontiac!"
"Oh captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done." WW
"Oh could I fly, I'd fly with thee ..."
"Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.."
"Our first and last love is -- self-love." Bovee
"Phasers on Stun!"
"Reality depends on the book I am currently reading."
"Said the fly, "Let us flee." Said the flea "Let us fly."
"Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance."
"Take my Worf, please..."
"The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom." Bret
"The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept." Shake
"The only victory over love is flight." Napoleon
"The welfare of the people is the chief law." Cicero
"They also serve who only stand and wait."
"This man's dying!" "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a... oh, righ
"To live long, it is necessary to live slowly." Cicero
"To love her was a liberal education." Steele
"Too much of a good thing is wonderful." <Mae West>
"Train your cubs well for they shall grow to be tigers."
"We come in peace; shoot to kill... Scotty, Beam me up!"
"We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him" Napoleon
"What is a lie but the truth in masquerade." Byron
"Windows, the best ... way to turn your 386 into an XT."
"With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike."
"Woman must be a genius to create a good husband." Balzac
"Women and elephants never forget." Parker
"You spotted snakes with double tongue... be not seen."
'Tis the season to be punny......
((((((((HYPNOTIC)))))))((((((((TAGLINE)))))))
(((((This message in Stereo where available)))))
(((((YOU)))))((((ARE))))(((((FEELING)))))(((((SLEEPY)))))
((wrong && wrong) != right)
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the @#$&*~ thing!
* 8 :-) User is a wizard.
* :-* User just ate something sour.
* :-9 User is licking his/her lips.
* :-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.
* :-X User's lips are sealed.
* <|-) User is Chinese.
*** TAGLINE BAN IN EFFECT IN THIS CONFERENCE ***
**FLASH** Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery
*FLASH* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
*NOW* is a point in time that is already gone.
- A RAM is a terrible thing to waste.
- FOR SYSOP USE ONLY - Do not write below this line.
- this space intentionally left blank -
- ? Today is cancelled due to lack of interest! ? -
-- Nature always sides with the hidden flaw! --
--- There's ALWAYS one more bug! ---
--- A naked man fears no pickpocket ---?
---- Who do you call to exorcise software ?? ----
--T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E--
... Nobody notices when things go right.
.... a deluge of words and drop of sense.
...and all the children are above average
...going where no clusters have gone before.
.?????. Robocomm and Speed are all we need! .?????.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... (Bo Dereck getting older)
2" x 4" bbs - a basic board.
3 dreaded words: hard disk failure
38% of all statistics are useless.
43% of all statistics are totally worthless !!!
5?" floppy is not better than 3?" hard.
90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
;-) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious remark.
<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
<tap> <tap> <tap> Is this thing on?
A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn't eat the game.
A beard signifies lice, not brains.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
A big enough hammer fixes anything
A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
A bird in the bush can't make a mess in your hand.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
A bird in the hand's better than one overhead.
A bonded penguin is a happy penguin !
A book is the only immortality.
A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
A closed mouth gathers no flies.
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A dime saved is a dollar earned. The rest was Uncle Sam's
A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
A farmer is always going to be rich next year.
A father is usually a banker provided by nature.
A fool searches for a greater fool to find admiration.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
A good dog barks when told.
A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
A good scare is better than good advice.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
A hangover the wrath of grapes
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key!
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A little truth helps the lie go down.
A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A mother is not a dust rag.
A mother pampering a child is raising a serpent.
A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure!
A pain in the butt may be a friend in need.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
A person in a passion rides a mad horse.
A person is a lion in his own cause.
A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
A person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
A person without a navel lives within all of us.
A pest: A friend in need.
A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
A problem can be found for almost every solution.
A programmer and his mind are soon parted
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A rolling stone is better than a bird in the hand.
A rooster clucks defiance -- but a lawyer ....
A shower is the halfway point between bed and world.
A slap vs a slog is like a ribbon vs an obi.
A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
A statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.
A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A true diplomat struts sitting down.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its written on
A vote on the tally sheet is worth two in the box.
A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
A woman's guess is more accurate than a man's certainty.
A word fitly spoken is like a beautiful apple of gold.
A worthless wise man always charms the rabble.
A yawn is a silent shout.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.
Abandon all hope, ye who press ??? here
Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
Actions speak louder than words -- but not so often.
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Adam's Rib: The original bone of contention.
Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
Adult: One old enough to know better.
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain !
Age is only important if you're a cheese.
All for one; one for all; ME above all!
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
All reality is aspect dependent.
All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
All the kookies are not in the jar.
All things change, nothing is extinguished.
All those updates, and still imperfect!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
All your future lies beneath your hat.
Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Always remember the past, but make waves when it matters.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Ambition destroys its possessor.
America is a dream to most of the world.
America is a tune. It must be sung together.
America is the only country founded on a good idea.
America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
An actor without buck teeth can play the Easter Bunny.
An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
An optimist is a guy without much experience...
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Ancient custom has the force of law.
And God said: E = ?mv? - Ze?/r ...and there *WAS* light!
Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
Any certainty is a delusion.
Any day can be the beginning of a new year.
Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete!
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any socialism involves more slavery than democracy.
Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
Are you waiting for your prey?
Army food: The spoils of war.
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Art is I; Science is We.
Art is vision not expression.
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
AT&T Subspace : The next best thing to beaming there.
Attack long worms from the rear - that is so much safer!
ATTENTION ..............Elvis has left the echo.
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx!
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
Be alert! What this world needs is more lerts.
Be as good at receiving as you are at giving.
Be careful when slinging mud, you might lose ground!
Be flexible, some things just take time.
Be mischievous and creative, if they fit you.
Be nice on your way up, you'll meet on the way down.
Be right & fear no man.Don't write & fear no woman
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers.
Be vewy, vewy quite....I'm hunting tagwines!
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Beauty is often in the thighs of the beholder.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash....
Before advising "Be yourself!" reassess his character.
Behind an able man, there are always other able men.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Being old fashioned is not necessarily good or better.
Beneath every stone sleeps a scorpion.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Beware of geeks bearing GIFs!
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Beware! I'm armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same idea...
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
Bless the peacemakers their work will never end.
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
bljeghbe'chugh vaj blHegh - "Surrender or Die!"
Blond Mating Call: Oh, I'm so drunk [giggle]!!
Blood is thicker than water, and much more tastier.
BOLDLY start in REVERSE, cause that's the GENEALOGY way!
Bomb #20, you're out of the bomb bay again!
Books... Software for the mind..
Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some.
Brain dead is forever.
Bring the whole family...but leave the kids at home!
Bubble, Bubble..Am I too late to jump the ship ??
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Buy a 486-33 you can reboot faster..
By trying we can learn to endure another's adversity.
C program run... Run, program, run... PLEASE!!!
C'est la vie.
California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.
Camels have wet dreams too.
Captain, I protest! I am not a Merry Man!
Captain, I sense millions of minds staring at my body...
Captain...one harmless little...Tribble?
Carasvemos, corazones no sabemos.
Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
Catastrophes to others are everyday events to you.
Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse?
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad.
Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Celebrate the first day you open the windows.
Celery farmers play the stalk market.
Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
Childish Game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
Cleanliness is next to "clean-limbed," in the dictionary.
Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
Cogito ergo Batman -- I think, therefore I BLAM!
Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Common sense isn't.
Communication.. without it, everyone's a mushroom.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers don't make mistakes, but foolish people do.
Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
Confucius say: Show-off always shown up in showdown.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Corruption. The most infallible symptom of liberty.
Couldn't have sid it better myself!
Cow's breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
Creditor: A man who has a longer memory than a debtor.
Criminal: One who gets caught.
Custom is the law of fools.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
Daddy. What does "Formatting Drive C:" mean?
Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer.
Dammit, Bones, I'm a captain, not a doctor!
Damn your "Once more for old times sake..."
Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a Tagline Writer!
Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are bagel seeds.
Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.
Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.
DANGER! Human at keyboard!
Dare to dream and fight to keep that dream alive.
Data not found: Want me to make it up as I go along?
Defeat even explained well stinks.
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art.
Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to restart?
Did you order that pizza?
Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
Dime de lo que blasonas, y te dire de lo quwe careces.
Dios tarda pero no olvida.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one's country.
Disease is the retribution of an outraged nature.
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some found I wish I could lose.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Do well, you hear it never. Do ill, hear it forever.
Do you know any Klingon Opera?
Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD?
Doctrine is the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
Does anyone REALLY read these stupid taglines?
Does it really matter which cola I drink?
Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
Don't be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
Don't be fazed by new fashions in anything.
Don't give up the ship! Give up the captain.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
Don't knock President Fillmore; he kept us out of VietNam
Don't Panic! Just push the Reset button.
Don't shoot! I'm only the Casio player!
Don't steal.....Politicians hate competition.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't think too far beyond your next meal.
Don't trust doctors, they once said you were sane.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Double click on that, pal!
Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why...
Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where...
Drop your carrier...We have you surrounded!
Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
Each day a day goes by.
Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust....
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
En boca cerrada no entran moscas.
Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
Energize-Hey what's that rabbit with the drum doing here?
Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Error 216: Tagline out of paper.
Error reading FAT Table...Try Skinny one ? (Y/N)
Eschew obfuscation!
Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes ...
Evangelists do more than lay people.
Even a noseless dog can stink.
Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
Even hairless heiresses are always beautiful.
Even happiest amoebae lack sexual organs.
Even the blind can see money.
Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
Ever since I gave up hope, I feel much better.
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Every idiot believes that they are Cassandra.
Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
Every person is the architect of their own fortune.
Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
Every time I have answers, someone changes the questions!
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone meets their Waterloo at last.
Everything changes except change itself.
Evil is a hill. We stand on ours, speak about others.
Excess is never enough.
EXPERT - Some unknown drip under pressure.
F r o m the s l o w s p e a k e r s o f A m e r i c
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng
Facts are stubborn things.
Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
Fat heads, lean brains.
Fax me no questions, I'll Fax you no lies!
Fear not, for I have given you authority
Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
Few of us can stand prosperity -- someone else's.
Fiction: It can't hold a scandal to biography.
Fiddle: Friction of a horse's tail on a cat's entrails.
Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ?
Follow your heart and let your head take care of itself.
Foolish fears drive away good fortune.
For many, the declension of life is: I go, you go, ego.
For some, reality is an illusion.
For whom, does the gun toll for...t
Forget "RTFM" - Call The Author At Home!
Forget *HIM* it's time to run a *HER* for president.
Forget RTFM - Call The Author At Home! (@ 23:45)
Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Friends don't let friends drive Fords!
Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
Funny thing.... harder I work, luckier I get!
Garbage in, Gospel out!
Gen. Custer, can I be excused for this afternoon?
Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn't.
Genealogy: It's all relative in the end anyway!
Genealogy: tracing us back to the same brother and sister
General stupidity error reading drive C
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
Give the man a cigar!
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
God dislikes money -- look who he gives it to.
God gave burdens shoulders also.
God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them.
God heals, but always someone else wants a fee.
God made the first garden, Cain the first city.
Golden Rule: she who has the gold makes the rules.
Golfer: A person who hits and tells.
Good architecture takes on a life of its own.
Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.
Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse.
Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Good taste is the flower of good sense.
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
Great people, great history, GREAT COUNTRY!!
Greed is good, greed works.
Guess who's on the moon??
Guinan--probably god in disguise.
Guns don't kill people, off-line readers do.
Halt and catch fire!
Hams do it with frequency, till their GIGAHERTZ!
Happiness is no laughing matter.
Happy couple: A deaf husband and a blind wife.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Hasten to laugh at everything lest you be obliged to weep
Have Stock? Will Broker...
Have you seen my mind? It wandered again.<sigh>
He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
He has too many lice to feel an itch.
He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
He is a sheep in sheep's clothing.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
He says a thousand pleasant things, but never "Adieu."
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
He who talks too much commits a sin.
He's got a magnet! Everyone BACKUP!! - Cmdr. Data
Heads will roll!
Hello, I am part number ????????????????
Hello, I am part number ????????????????.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
HELP! Protect America's children, soil, and water today.
Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!
Here I run, to steal the secret of the sun.
Here today, dawn tomorrow.
Herman Hollerith is buried 9 edge, face down.
Hero-worship: Idol gossip.
Hey ... I don't REMEMBER XXX programs in the holodecks ..
Hey man, you can't prove NUTHIN'. I was at home.
Hey! Don't pick up that pho?????????? NO CARRIER
HHeellpp!! II''mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff--dduupplleexx!
Hi. My name is Rover, I'll paint your car yellow free.
Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
His face was filled with broken commandments.
History repeats itself because nobody listens
Hm..what's this red button fo??????NO CARRIER
Hmm... What's this red button ro NO CARRIER
Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Holy Razorblades, Batman! That was a close shave!
Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.
Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Honey in the mouth and knives in the heart.
Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
How do I set my Laser Printer to "Stun"?
How many times do you need to be tolled anyway?
How much memory have you got? One brain, one memory.
How time flies, when you are in a heap of problems..
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
I am not a dictator. It's just I have a grumpy face.
I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am tolerant of your (fruitcake) beliefs
I am who I pretend to be
I be nibble, you be quick, he jumped over the Joystick.
I believe your aim is improving, Counselor
I came; I saw; I screwed up.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I can resist everything/anything except temptation.
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks!
I can't be stupid, I completed third grade!
I could be chasing an untamed ornithoid without cause.
I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
I don't have to look up my family tree. I'm the sap
I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now!
I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it
I give up..push me that hollow log!
I had a dislocated funny bone, <OUCH> but it's better now
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once
I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it well.
I have seen the future and it is now the past.
I haven't lost my mind..It must be backed-up somewhere.
I Just got stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat!
I just steal 'em, I don't explain 'em.
I know a good tag line when I steal one.
I lost a button hole today.
I may be stupid, but that still makes me smarter than you
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
I may not be perfect, but I am all I got!
I never rise above the noise and confusion...
I only wrote the thing, I don't have to understand it!
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go...
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
I think ... therefore I am overqualified.
I think I got it made and they throw something else at me
I think that I'll stand up-wind, if you don't mind
I think that I'm the friendliest guy in my zipcode.
I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my...
I used to read books. Now I read .qwk files.
I want to live with a synonym girl...
I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
I would have suffered a lot more if understood.
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
I'd be happy to probe your recollections for you, Captain
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
I'm a thinker, I think---stolen from Rusty Wallace.
I'm as innocent as a new-laid egg.
I'm flexible..just don't change anything.
I'm from Iowa... I just work in outer space.
I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
I'm human: nothing human smells strange to me.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
I'm just needling you about the thread
I'm more humble than you are!
I'm not schizophrenic, I'm "multi-faceted."
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I've got too many hands on my time!
I've had BETA days ... and nights!!!
I/O I/O IT'S WRITE TO DISK I GO I/O I/O
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If at first you don't exceed, try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed, fall back and punt!
If at first you don't succeed, re-format!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed: Blame everyone else.
If at first you don't succeed; Blame everyone else
If at first you doubt, doubt again, and again ...
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were you, who'd be me?
If it ain't borken, don't fix it.
If it isn't true, at least it is a happy invention.
If it works, it must be obsolete...
If it's not true, it's quite easily found.
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If Life Is A Highway... What's The Queensway?
If life is just a bowl of cherries, throwing pits is OK.
If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
If Q were castrated would he become... O???
If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
If this were an actual tagline, it might be funny.
If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
If this were an actual tagline, it _might_ be funny.
If thou is a artist, how does one grasp your art?
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
If U look close enough, the truth is hidden in the words.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off.
If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth.
If you can't make it good, make it big.
If you can't make it work, make a statistic of it.
If you do drink and drive don't smoke.
If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
If you don't eat garlic, they'll never smell it on you.
If you don't fall down, you're not trying!
If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
If you prick me do I not... leak?
If you push something hard enough...
If you throw mud, you will have dirty hands.
If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
If you want my advice, pay me!
if you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Ignore your health and it will go away.
Illustrate your Sermons! Wear "far side" ties.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
In human history, most leaders prove to be good bleeders.
In making decisions, recall that the trend is a friend.
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
Incorrigible punster -- do not incorrige!
Indecision is the only key to flexibility ....
Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
Insanity is a rational reaction to an irrational world.
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
Irregular verbs are on sale in the bargain basement.
Is evil a child of the nature or the nurture?
Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Is relativism the only absolute?
Is this drive really moving with my head parked?
Is wetter REALLY better?
Isn't there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
It always rains right after I wax philosophical.
It doesn't matter if you win, it's the point spread.
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank.
It is a sin peculiar to people to hate their victims.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
It is better to know useless things than to know nothing.
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
It is easier to admire hard work if you don't do it.
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
It takes two to make a bargain.
It was a night like this, 40 million years ago.
It was so cold, I almost got married.
It was supposed to be so easy ...........
It will be done on time, if I can find the time.
It works better if you plug it in *AND THEN* turn it on.
It works better if you plug it in where it should be.
It's 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood,...
It's a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
It's a tragedy that no man become like their mothers.
It's a tragedy that no man becomes like his mother.
It's always darkest before you step on the cat.
It's better the world wonder why you *AREN'T* President.
It's easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
It's Ensign Pillsbury.... He's bread, Jim.
It's hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
It's love, it's love that makes the world go round.
It's nobody's business, not even mine.
It's not over until the FAT table sings
It's OK to wear the same thing every day: a smile.
It's okay to call someone stupid; just don't prove it.
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a.
It's stupid to continue doing what doesn't work.
It's the kind of thing that makes people go "Hmmmmmmm.."
It's what inside you, not the outside that counts.
It's worse than that, it's physics Jim!
Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia's First Nobel Laureate.
Jerusalem B v6.5 beta tester
Judge not a carpenter on how fast chips fly.
Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Just cannot resist a little fun along the way. :-)
Just got a new car for my wife... Great trade...
Just My Opinion (But I'm Right!)
JUST ROOTIN' AROUND.
Just when I make ends meet, someone moves one!
Keep cool, stand in front of an open refrigerator.
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
Kiss my ASCII
Klein bottle for rent. Inquire within.
Know when to fight and when to run.
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
Laddie, ya think ya might like ta... rephrase that?
Language is a virus from outer space.
Latest conspiracy theory: Humpty Dumpty was pushed!!!
Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others' works
Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
Learning without thought is labor lost.
Legal Marijuana needs true glaucoma patients.
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
Let art alone. She's got enough guys sleeping with her.
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let's have a little fun, let's do a pun.
Let's see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
Life is a kind of trick.
Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
Life is an onion and one peels it crying.
Life is like Jazz, it should be improvised.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
Little boats should keep near the shore.
Little pitchers have wide ears.
Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
Look into yourself to discover your first priority.
Look out for barking dogs that bite.
Lotus executives do not wear Look & Feel T shirts.
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothaches.
Love is like a baseball game, four balls and you walk.
Love is like a baseball game, three strikes you're out.
Love thy neighbor ... just never get caught!!
Love thy neighbor, but keep the hedge in tact.
Love truth but pardon error.
Love your enemies -- it makes them so damned mad.
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
Madre que consiente engorda una serpiente.
Make it so.
Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
Manuals out, after all possible keystrokes have failed.
Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
Many kiss the hand that they wish cut off.
Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
Maybe it's right to be nervous now...
Meaningless tagline attached to pointless message.
Meetings are indispensable for not doing anything.
Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Memory Manager: something I need more than my computer.
Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
Misery brings strange bedfellows.
Misfortunes always enter a door left open for them.
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
Misteaching: Telling one's grandmother how to suck eggs.
Mister! Here's your mule!
Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
Modem.... A deterrent to phone solicitors.
Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.
Modesty is good bait when fishing for praise.
Money can't buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
Money is a good servant but a bad master.
Money is round, it rolls away.
Money is the root of all wealth *
Money is the sinews of both love and war.
Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
Monotheism is a gift from the gods!
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send Donations to:
Mr. Bullfrog says: Time is fun when you're having flies.
Mr. Bullfrog sez: "Time is fun when you're having flies.
Mr. Worf!! Eating Christmas Cookies, on my Bridge???
My Hard Disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT
My mind ain't so open that anything can crawl right in.
My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship...
My reality check just bounced.
Nature, like people sometimes weeps for gladness.
Network management is like trying to herd cats...
Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
Never Argue With a Skunk, Mule, Woman or a SysOp.
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist! *
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
Never let a computer realize you're in a hurry.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely
Never trust a skinny cook.
Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
NEW from the creator's of EDLIN....Windows 3.0
Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
Nietzsche is Dead! - God
No answer is also an answer.
No Commander, I meant the OTHER battleship.
No decorations necessary.
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
No matter where you go, there you are.
No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
No one test the depth of a river with both feet.
No person ever became wicked all at once.
No person should govern another without their permission.
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
No Warp? Worf, Data... get out and push... I'll steer!
No wonder can last more than three days.
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
Nobody can be like me. Even I have trouble doing so.
Nobody has a good enough memory to make an excellent liar
Nobody is as deaf as those who will not to hear.
Nobody notices when things go right, and I'm noticed.
Nobody notices when things go right, I'm always noticed.
Nobody notices when things go right.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
None but a mule denies his family.
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry.
Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
Nothing can go wrong...go wrong...go wro*%$@# NO CARRIER
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Now where can you find one, nicer than this..
O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: Use the FORKS, Luke!
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one
Of all thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date
OFF-line mail make sysop's happy.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Oh that? It was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.
Oh, make up your own tagline! I'm busy!
Oh, no! Not another learning experience!
Oh, pardon me, was that *your* culture? So sorry.
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
Old age is better than the alternative.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Old birds are hard to pluck.
Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old McDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
On a clear disk you can seek forever
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Once uttered, words run faster than the horses i bet on.
One crow will not peck out another crow's eyes.
One lie always leads to another.
One of these days. . . One of these days. . .
One person's <grin> is another's <groan>.
One who is always in a stew generally goes to pot.
One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
Only hey can conquer who believe they can.
Only I can tell where my own shoe pinches me.
Only in your dreams are you really free.
Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.
Only the rich have distant relatives.
Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Ostrich: He often runs so fast he leaves himself behind.
Other times, other customs.
Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near
Outside noisy, inside empty.
Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
Pants: Trousers' country cousins.
Paranoia isn't as much fun as it used to be.
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor's life.
Pay attention! This is the mother of all taglines.
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
Penguin: The headwaiter of the Antarctic.
People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
People, not dogs, sell their souls for money or power.
Persons reading between the lines do so at their own risk
Philosophic enjoyment = mutual misunderstanding.
Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
Pity the poor corpuscle, for he labors in vein.
Planned parenthood --- the impossible dream.
Please continue the "petty bickering"... it intrigues me.
Please don't yell at me. I'm new at this.
Please! Do not break character!
Please! Take my word for it.
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
Poker: It's darkest just before you've drawn.
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Prejudice is the reason of fools. Voltaire.
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Prevention is better than cure.
Priests Do It Faithfully With Masses
Programmers get overlaid!
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
Protect your right to arm bears!
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
Psychic Con: You know where and when
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Public opinion flourishes where there are no ideas.
Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.
Put off procrastinating till a later time.
Put on your seatbelt. I'm gonna try something new.
Quick! Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Quick! Say something profound in 45 characters or le
Quick, I need a tagline, let me steal yours
Quien con perros se acuesta con pulgas se levanta.
Quien da el pan impone la ley.
Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts."
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
Radioactive cats have 18 half lives....
Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Rational information in arguments not permitted here!
Read messages, not taglines!
Reader not found, please notify tagline.
Reality is a crutch for those who can't handle Star Trek.
Reality.Sys corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
Recognize the signs of spring.
Redundancy is something I can do again and again....
Regardless of what you may think, this is NOT a tagline.
Religious people are wicked, how would they be without?
Remember to leave 15% for the tip of the iceberg.
Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
Remember................. Wherever you go, there you are.
Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.
Resist being put in boxes.
Resistance Is Useless! If you have no volts or amps.
Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
Retreat hell! We're just fighting in another direction.
ROM instruction-Read Operators Mind
ROM wasn't built in a day.
Romulan natural death: An inability to live after being poisoned.
Round numbers are always false.
RTFM - it's the computer manuals I hate!
Rumors love lies.
Running Windows is better than washing them.
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
San Francisco: where NOBODY eats Rice-a-Roni!
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Sandwich: Any faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save trees, eat beavers.
Scott me up, Beamie!
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*??? NO CARRIER
Scrute the inscrutable; eff the ineffable.
SCUD Light: Less killing, doesn't hit the spot.
Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
Se non e vero, e molto ben trovato.
Security is a game but the final goal is never reached.
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing..
Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
Self-sacrifice: to sacrifice others without blushing.
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
Sex isn't the best nor the worst thing in the world.
Shake well before use ...
Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
Shareware it only works if you pay.
Sharper than an asp's tooth to have a thankless child.
She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
She has been under more drunken sailors than a head.
She said...You said....I said...We said...Blurgh!
Shhhhhh.....the topic cops are coming
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Si jeunesse savoit, si vieillesse pouvoit.
Silence is evidence of a superb command of the language.
Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers!
Silly Wabbit, QWKs are for kids.
Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
Simple rule: If you don't treat me right, shame on you.
Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan?
Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
Since we all move so slow, why is it called rush hour?
Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight's Conf
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
Skeptics are seldom deceived.
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
Smoking cures weight problems... eventually...
Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.
So crowded in here, I must go outside to change my mind!
So dumb: Chewing the stick, not sucking the lollipop.
So where did we all come from??????
Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
Society prepares the crime, the criminals commit them.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Software independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Software, hardware, -- is that you talking Sigmund?
Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
Some cures are worse than the disease.
Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men
Some of us just die, others of us live on.
Some settling may have occurred in shipping.
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
Some winners rely upon miracles without believing in them
Sometimes I wake up grumpy...other times I let her sleep.
Sorry, can't think of an insult stupid enough for you
Sorry. My tagline file was lost in transit.
Spaghetti code = job security.
Speak braggarts and you speak of those lacking something
Speed things up, make pre-aged wine from old raisins.
Spongecake: Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
Spring makes everything young again except humans.
STAR TREK X - THE SEARCH FOR SHATNER'S HAIRPIECE.
Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
Still Going!!! Nothing outlasts Data... He keeps going,
Straight trees have crooked roots.
Strange but not a stranger...
Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
Stulti timent fortunam sapientes ferunit.
Stupid: Being unable to find your own butt in the dark.
Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
Sub omni lapide scorpio dormit.
Subway: A place so crowded even men can't all get seats.
Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Such is life.
Suppress that thought!
Sure I can help you out! Which way did you come in?
Sure, when OINK FLAP OINK FLAP ... I'll be damned!
Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
Surprise the world. Get to work on time today.
Swell-head: Nature's frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
Synonym: A word you use when you can't spell the other.
SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing!
Sysoping, not just an adventure, sometimes it's emesis.
Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...
Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Talking is another disease of age.
Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.
Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.
Teamwork is essential it allows you to blame someone else
Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
That should clear out your sinuses.
That tagline is TRUE -> <- That tagline is FALSE
That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
That was then, this is now.
That was Zen, this is Tao.
That's a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
That's enough, Data.
That's not a bug, that's a feature.
That's right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The best armor is to keep out of range.
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best doctor is the one you run for and can't find.
The best water doesn't come in fancy bottles.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part I'm
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
The best way to save face: keeping the lower part shut.
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
The buck stops at the desk over there.
The Caldecott Tunnel has less traffic than that vagina.
The cautious seldom err.
The characters in this message are recyclable
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
The child had every toy his father wanted.
The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
The city is not a concrete jungle. It is a human zoo.
The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is UP!!!
The course of true anything never does run smooth.
The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
The Devil falls on account of his gravity.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
The fewer our wants, the more we resemble the gods.
The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts.
The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
The flogging WILL continue until the morale improves!
The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
The future is not what it used to be.
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The hard disk you save may be your own.
The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
The keyboard ... how quaint.
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
The longer the title, the less important the job.
The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter is gets.
The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat
The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
The only GOOD Romulan is a DEAD Romulan.
The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
The only roses without thorns are love and friendship.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it
The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
The past is not what it will be.
The pen is the tongue of the mind.
The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
The purification of politics is an iridescent dream.
The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
The ripest fruit falls first..
The shortest answer is doing.
The shortest distance between two puns: a straight line.
The sun always rises on the most tired people.
The sun is never the worse for shining on a dunghill.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
The tree of liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants.
The trodden path is the safest.
The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it's a cat.
The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.
The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
The UARTs won't take these speeds, Captain!
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain.
The way to a man's heart is through his modem...
The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
The wildest colts make the best steeds.
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
The world is coming to an end!
The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
The world, as we know it, has come to an end!!
The World: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
The worst hatred is that of relatives.
The worst thing about censorship is .
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
There are many ways to show affection.
There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
there are three things that come next, uh four...
There is a skeleton in every old house.
There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
There is only one sure way to throw dice: away.
There isn't a door which can stop a lover or a cat
There's a Yankee in my closet - will trade for skeleton
There's always 1 more SOB than you counted on
There's always one more SOB than you counted on.
There's no skeletons in my closet!
There's no such thing as gravity. The earth sucks.
These Days There's No Arrest For The Wicked
They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
They who drink beer will think beer.
They're writers Jim, they aren't bound by natural laws!
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
Things could only be worse in Cleveland.
Think and you won't sink.
Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
Think much, speak little, and write less.
This discussion is hanging by a thread.
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
This fellow's wise enough to play the fool.
This is a brag line?????
This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
This is your brain - O - This is Your Brain on Windows *
This machine is an instrument of terror
This open hand of desire wants everything.
This tagline is only for the living.
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send $20 ...
This tagline is umop apisdn
This tagline is umop apisdn.
This tagline no verb.
This tagline stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader!
This universe is a figment of it's own imagination.
Those who can, Do. Those who can't, call it a "KLUDGE".
Those who can, Do. Those who can't, Criticize.
Those who can, do; Those who can't, simulate...
Those who fought for it know the true taste of freedom!
Those whom the gods love grow young.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
Time goes? No. Alas time stays, we go.
Time is an inaudible file.
Time is precious, but truth is more so.
Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Time takes time.
Tips: Wages we pay other people's hired help.
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
To be a Californian means to have faults others don't.
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
To be too clever is to be stupid.
To climb a ladder, you begin with the first rung.
To do nothing is in every person's power.
To err is Human, but to blame someone else is politics.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy!
To err is human, to forgive... unlikely.
To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
To risk nothing is to risk everything.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now.
To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
To understand other's miseries, look at their pleasures.
To whom should I go to for some self-help?
Today has been a long year!!!!!!!!!!
Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
Today is the scene of the accident.
Today, take an astronaut to launch.
Too many pages make a tome.
Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
too stupid to know what I'm involved in.
Travel important today; IRS men arrive tomorrow.
True Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
Trust me, would I lie to you..... TWICE?
Truth does not matter; PERCEPTION of truth does.
Try cooling coffee by holding it closer to your heart.
TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Two writes don't make a novel!
UART?.. Me Science?
Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Unable to locate COFFEE.CUP -- Operator Halted!
Unbelief in one thing springs = blind belief in another.
UNIX, the MF of all DOSes.
Unless to thought is added will, Apollo is an imbecile.
Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.
Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
Virtue is easy for an ugly woman.
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
Wait! That's the FORBIDDEN dance!
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Wanna giggle? Try (EDITOR=EDLIN !) in anything.
WARNING... drinking tap water may kill your thirst!
Warp 5, engage...No, Mr. Data, more clutch!
Warp 9. Any heading!
Wasting time is one of the more important parts of life.
Watch out..the paranoids are after you!
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We are all related...relatively speaking
We are as made by God us, and often a great deal worse.
We are immortal, but only for a very limited time.
We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
We ask advice but we mean approbation.
We have met the enemy, and he's all yours!
We have resumed control...we have resumed control...
We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
We have two ears and one tongue, use them likewise.
We hired you to baby sit. You cooked and ate them BOTH?
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
We must believe in free will. We have no choice.
We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older, and ...
We're lost, but we're making good time.
We're off doing beta, the wonderful beta of oooz
We're sorry, reality is not in service at this time....
We've replaced the Dilithium with new Folger's Crystals!
Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Well begun is half done.
What a day may bring, a day may take away.
What are friends for? - R.M. Nixon
What fools these morals be!
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What is learned in youth is understood in age.
What is the True meaning of DOS?
What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
What is this thing anyway? The Discordian Society?
What orators lack in depth, they give in length.
What results from using spot remover on your dog Spot?
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
What the heck just happened here?
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
What's in a name, anyway? Everything!!!!!!
What's the world coming to when your monitor stares back.
What's up doc?
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
Whatever it is, whenever it occurs, I'm against it!
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
When in doubt; Cheat !
When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
When the bad combine, the good must associate.
When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
When we are not sure, we are alive.
When we can't dream the time for death has arrived.
When you can't make it GOOD, make it BIG!
When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
When you gotta go, you gotta go!
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
Whenever Possible, Put People On Hold
Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
Where did we all come from in the first place?
Where do honey bees go potty? At a BP station naturally.
Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
Where no man has.. where no ONE has.. to hell with it!
Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
Where you've been means much less than where you're going
Where's there's smoke, there's toast.
Who has the bread makes the laws.
Who would understand youth must know old age.
Who's the designated driver? This mouse is loaded!
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
Why would a wood chuck want to chuck wood anyway?
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Windows 3.0: From the people who brought you EDLIN.
Wisdom of many and the wit of a half.
Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
With consequences, the unexpected always predominate.
With foxes we must play the fox.
Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Without Time Everything Would Happen At Once!
Wives and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Women's clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
Words and ideas are what change our world.
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
Words, words, words. And no place to put them all!
Worf just needs a goof hug.
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Yeah, but what's the speed of DARK?
Yeah...and some day the sun will die out.
Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody noes.
Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
You always swat where he's not, or if he is aha! a spot.
You are fully dilated to 10cm -- you may now give birth
You aren't here forever, Enjoy each day as a miracle.
You can always make room for one more. Except a new baby.
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
You can't do that. It's been digitally cursed.
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
You can't step twice in the same river.
You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
You may be Southern -- but you're no Comfort.
You may use this tagline 30 days before registering.
You might want to get a band-aid for that..
You must know much before you know how little you know.
You obviously mistook me for someone who knows.
You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
You tell 'em Banana, You've been skinned.
You tell 'em Bank, You're safe.
You tell 'em Bean, He's stringing you.
You tell 'em Brake, You've got the drag.
You tell 'em Butcher, You've got a lot of tongue.
You tell 'em cabbage, You've got the head.
You tell 'em calendar, You've got lots of dates.
You tell 'em Cashier, I'm a poor teller.
You tell 'em Cat, That's what you're fur.
You tell 'em Cemetery, You are so grave.
You tell 'em Chloroform, You can put them to sleep.
You tell 'em Church Bell, I told you.
You tell 'em Cigarette, You're lit up.
You tell 'em Clock, You've got the time.
You tell 'em Cucumber, I've been pickled.
You tell 'em Custard Pie, You've got the crust.
You tell 'em Dentist, You've got the pull.
You tell 'em Dictionary, You're full of information.
You tell 'em Doctor, You've got the patience.
You tell 'em Dough, You're well bred.
You tell 'em Electricity, You can shock 'em.
You tell 'em Envelope, You're well posted.
You tell 'em Gambler, You've got winning ways.
You tell 'em Goldfish, You've been around the globe.
You tell 'em Hard-Boiled Egg, You're hard to beat.
You tell 'em Horse, You carry a tale.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm game.
You tell 'em June, And don't July.
You tell 'em Manicurist, I've been trimmed.
You tell 'em Moon, You're out all night.
You tell 'em Mountain, I'm only a bluff.
You tell 'em Operator, You've got their number.
You tell 'em Owl, You're wise.
You tell 'em Piano, You're upright and square.
You tell 'em playing cards, You know the joker.
You tell 'em Printer, I'm not your type.
You tell 'em Railroad, It's not along my line.
You tell 'em September Morn, No one has anything on you.
You tell 'em Shoemaker, You know awl.
You tell 'em Simon, I'll Legree.
You tell 'em Skyscraper, You have more than one story.
You tell 'em Submarine, I can't seaplane.
You tell 'em teacher, You've got the class.
You tell 'em, Bald Head, You're smooth.
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
Your karma just ran over my dogma.
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
Your sweet words suck the morning dew off the honeysuckle
Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms.
Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman's age.
Zippy the pinhead is a twit
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
 
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